Hold on to Love

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Hold on to Love Page 25

by Roberta Capizzi


  “Wow. I so love your dress,” Tammy said, looking at Alyssa in awe. Sean couldn’t help smiling; Tammy loved Alyssa’s dress, while he’d love to get her out of it instead and forget about the fashion show altogether.

  Alyssa smiled self-consciously, and smoothed imaginary creases on the fabric, making Sean wish it were his hands caressing her body like that. He closed the distance between them and looked her straight in the eye.

  “You’re breathtaking,” he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

  Her soft skin was so delicate under his rough farmer’s hand he was afraid she’d pull away. When she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, he opened his palm and cupped her cheek, then bent and brushed her lips in a soft kiss. It wasn’t exactly the kind of kiss he’d had in mind when he’d first set eyes on her in that dress, but he was hoping they’d manage to get a little time alone before the night was through so he could show her just how breathtaking she really was.

  “I think we’d better get going,” Tammy said in an amused tone, breaking the spell Sean had found himself caught in after his eyes had locked with Alyssa’s. “Although, I guess going to a fashion show it the last thing on your mind now, Sean.”

  His head whipped back toward her, and he glared at her when he caught the smirk on her face.

  Tammy giggled and clung to his arm, the way she used to do when she was little and she wanted to be forgiven for something naughty she’d done. He laughed and held his other arm out for Alyssa to take.

  “I think I’ll be the most envied man tonight when I walk into the venue with two beautiful girls in my arms.”

  When Alyssa’s fingers wrapped around his bicep, his blood pressure unexpectedly shot up at the contact. The elevator’s doors opening with a ping provided a welcome distraction, and as they all stepped inside, he took a deep breath and tried to push back images of what Alyssa might be wearing underneath that amazing dress. It was definitely going to be a long night.

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  After the show was over Tammy was so excited that Alyssa wondered whether she should follow her initial plan or should drag her away before Kayla came out from the backstage. Her friend had not only provided the tickets for the show, but she’d assured Alyssa she’d let Tammy go backstage and get an audition with the big bosses of the Prada team.

  Although Alyssa had prepared herself for Sean’s reaction, she knew this would be her only chance to show Tammy what it was all about; Tammy was smart enough and Alyssa was sure this would finally open her eyes—or at least, she hoped this would work out fine. If not, Sean would probably kill her with his bare hands and she wouldn’t mind—Tammy working in the fashion business was the last thing she wanted.

  Kayla reached them a couple of minutes after the curtains had closed, looking very professional in her tailored suit. She gave Alyssa a quick hug, the usual greeting they’d shared since high school, and turned to give Sean a once-over. Alyssa cleared her throat and Kayla gave her a smirk.

  “So, who’s this handsome stranger?” Kayla asked with a wink. Alyssa rolled her eyes.

  “This is Sean, and this is his sister, Tammy. Guys, this is Kayla, my friend who works for Prada.”

  Tammy’s jaw dropped, as if she’d just been introduced to the First Lady. Kayla smiled and reached out for Tammy’s hand.

  “Nice to meet you, Tammy. I love your dress,” she said and Tammy blushed a little. “Want to come backstage, so I can introduce you to some people?”

  Tammy’s eyes grew wide and she turned to look at Alyssa. “Really?”

  “Of course.”

  “No,” Sean said at the same time. Tammy looked from her brother to Alyssa.

  “Go ahead; I’ve known Kayla since high school, so I promise she’s safe. We’ll wait right here for you,” Alyssa said, inconspicuously taking Sean’s hand. She didn’t really want Kayla to know that she was dating him; it wasn’t that she was ashamed or anything, but she knew Kayla wouldn’t keep it a secret, and Alyssa wasn’t ready to explain to her mother who this mysterious guy was.

  She gave his hand a squeeze and felt his body stiffen when Tammy followed Kayla behind the black curtains. As soon as they were out of sight, Alyssa turned toward Sean and took his face in her hands.

  “It’s okay; I already spoke with Kayla about this when she gave me the tickets. She’s going to introduce her to the big bosses, probably get her an audition while she’s here and . . .”

  “She’s what?” His voice boomed and, even though the crowded room was loud and nobody really paid attention to them, she felt as if all eyes were on them. She gave a quick glance around, but only a couple of people closer to them had stopped their conversation to take a look at them.

  “What kind of sick game are you playing, Alyssa? Are you trying to sneak her into your own glittery world behind my family’s back?”

  Alyssa took his other hand and brought them both to her lips, placing a soft kiss to his knuckles. She was ready for his reaction, so she didn’t even budge.

  “Trust me, Sean. If you really love me, you must trust that I know what I’m doing.”

  “This has nothing to do with how I feel about you; this is about what you’re doing to my sister.”

  He tried to pull back his hands but she squeezed them tighter so he let go.

  “I’m trying to open her eyes, Sean. Believe me, I don’t want her to get into this world any more than you and your family do. I know what goes on behind closed doors; Kayla and I got an audition once, when we were fresh out of high school. Her aunt worked for Armani, so she pulled a few strings and got us to meet the big boss.”

  She looked away, remembering that day and how stupid she’d felt afterwards. She’d only meant to do it to upset her mother, but in the end she’d been the one who’d been upset by the whole thing.

  She looked back up from the floor and met Sean’s eyes; the frown had eased a little, so hopefully he was starting to relent.

  “I was eighteen and on my usual rebellion against my mother; she’d just told me I’d been accepted into Yale and I hoped that, if I landed a job as a model, I’d be able to break free from her plans. I guess I was too naïve to understand what it really took to be part of that world. When I stepped into the room where Kayla’s aunt and the management were, I was excited and determined to find my own path in life. They loved my hair and thought I had a pretty, clean face that would look perfect after their makeup artists had worked on it. I thought I was doing great and that I was just about to start a new life, until they asked me to strip down to my underwear so they could check my body, and I freaked out.”

  Sean’s face went pale, and for a moment Alyssa thought he was going to pass out on her. She’d never seen such terror in his eyes. It lasted all of five seconds, then Sean pulled his hands free and took two long strides toward the curtains where Tammy and Kayla had disappeared.

  Alyssa grabbed his arm just before he pulled the curtains open and stormed inside.

  “Sean, wait,” she said, using all her strength to pull him back. “Don’t do this. It won’t work with Tammy.”

  He whipped his head back; his eyes were narrowed to slits and his nostrils were flaring. Alyssa hoped he wouldn’t make a scene now.

  “Now you’re the expert? You barely know my sister, so don’t go telling me what will and won’t work with her.” He was seething. “Keep your brilliant ideas to yourself, Alyssa, and let me deal with my sister my way.”

  “Sean,” she said firmly. He was such a stubborn man, but this time she couldn’t blame him. She would’ve probably reacted the same had she been in his shoes. “You’re right: I don’t know your sister well, but from what little I do, she’s a smart girl and she has principles, just like I did. When they asked me to strip, I spun on my heels and fled the room as fast as I could. They said I’d have to get used to it, since I’d be changing in rooms with male models and male staff members, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to be seen naked or in my underwear
by strangers, and I didn’t care if they thought I was a prude. I wanted to be true to myself, no matter what they thought.”

  She brought her hand up to his cheek and cupped it. “Tammy’s a sensible girl, Sean. She knows right from wrong. Even though she’s only sixteen, she’s much more mature than plenty of teenagers I know. Give her some credit; I know she won’t disappoint us.”

  “What if the pull of this enticing world is too strong? What if she turns her back on us, Alyssa? Have you even considered that maybe she won’t mind, as long as she can get the job of her dreams?”

  His eyes were pained and Alyssa felt guilt pierce her heart. She hadn’t thought of that option, if she had to be honest with herself. She had been sure that Tammy wouldn’t accept compromises, but what if she’d been wrong? Would she be able to forgive herself if Tammy decided to leave her family and become a model because of her?

  “I’m confident Tammy won’t let the sparkle fool her. I know all this doesn’t make sense to you, but trust me, Sean: this is the only way that will work to make her forget this world once and for all. There’s nothing like smacking into reality face-first to clear your head—and I’m talking from experience here.”

  Sean closed his eyes as Alyssa brushed his cheek gently, and when he opened them again, a little of the usual light had come back. Maybe he’d understood her good intentions behind this little subterfuge and hopefully he wouldn’t be mad at her; she hated seeing that hard look in his eyes.

  “I hope you’re right, Alyssa. I truly hope you’re right, because they’d have to walk over my dead body to take her from us. She’s my little sister. I can’t let her throw away her life in a world like this. Did you see the girls up there? You could count their ribs under the scraps of clothes.” He shook his head, and she thought he was on the verge of tears. “I couldn’t bear to see my little Tammy like that.”

  Alyssa felt her heart break and swell at the same time; it was breaking because of the pain she could see in the lines on his face, and it swelled at the depth and strength of his love for his sister.

  Sean had a tough and strong temperament, there was no denying, but she’d discovered it wasn’t always a bad thing. When he loved, his feelings were just as strong and deep as his stubbornness. She felt it every time he looked at her, kissed her, hugged her; he loved hard and strong.

  Tammy came out of the curtains at that precise moment, and Alyssa let out a breath of relief when she saw the troubled look on her face. Her plan had worked.

  Sean took a step toward her and put both hands on Tammy’s shoulders.

  “What happened in there, Tammy?”

  She shook her head and tears veiled her eyes. Alyssa was glad she’d been right, although it hurt her to see Tammy so shaken. She’d always known Tammy would be a fish out of water in that world, but until Tammy saw it with her own eyes she would never change her mind or let someone convince her otherwise. She was sorry she’d had to hurt her in order for her to understand, but it was the only way she knew would work.

  “Sean, why don’t you go to the bar and get her a bottle of soda?” Alyssa asked, placing a hand on his forearm. Sean shook his head.

  “I want to know what’s wrong,” he said with a frown, squeezing his sister’s shoulders a little. Tammy’s bottom lip trembled as the first tear rolled down her cheeks.

  “Go get her a soda, Sean. Please,” Alyssa said more firmly.

  He whipped his head and stared at her with a scowl; when their eyes met, she smiled and nodded at him. Tammy would never admit in front of his brother, who’d always been against the fashion world and her becoming a part of it, that he’d been right. Alyssa had always been on her side, and she was sure Tammy would open up with her.

  “Please,” she repeated, a little more gently this time, her eyes still locked with his.

  He finally let go of Tammy’s shoulders and nodded, gave Tammy one last worried look and turned on his heels.

  When they were alone, Alyssa put an arm around Tammy’s shoulder and led her toward a leather bench in a quiet spot. Tammy plopped down as if all energy had left her body in a puff, and stared at her clasped hands while tears streamed down her cheeks.

  “I think I know what happened in there. That’s the reason I brought you here, because I wanted you to see the good and the bad sides of it all,” Alyssa said, since Tammy didn’t seem willing to talk first. Tammy let out a sigh and sniffled. “I’m sorry; I know it hurts, but I thought it would be better for you to see this firsthand before deciding if it was something you’d be ready to face.”

  “I thought it was cool, that I was doing well, until they asked me to strip down to my underwear and bra. I thought of what my mom would say, of what Sean would think of me and I . . . I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I know it’s silly, I mean, I’m sure they’re used to seeing half-naked girls, but it was too embarrassing, so I . . . I just ran away like a stupid country girl. Everyone was right: I don’t stand a chance in this world. ”

  Tammy hid her face in her hands and sobbed. Alyssa knew just too well what it was like to let go of a dream; she’d cried for weeks when her mother had forbidden her to attend veterinary college and had enrolled her to Yale against her will. She hadn’t come to terms with it yet, but Tammy was a smart young woman, and there were so many other things she could do. The fashion world was too tough and definitely too mean for a sweet girl like her.

  “No, they weren’t. You can do anything, if you really want to. What I’m trying to make you see is that you’re too good for this. You saw what goes on behind the curtains: do you really want to put aside all the good principles your family taught you and turn your back on the person you are just for a few years of limelight?” Alyssa took Tammy’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Because that’s just as long as it lasts: a few years. Just until they get bored and decide to look for someone else, someone newer and younger, someone who’s willing to play by their rules.”

  “I thought it was what I wanted; I mean, I love nice clothes and stuff, and I thought it would be great if I could make a living out of it, but . . .” Tammy sniffled again and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. Alyssa handed her a tissue and she blew her nose. “Now I know I wouldn’t last a day. I could never be someone I’m not. I love my family, and I don’t want to hurt them.”

  Alyssa nodded and gave Tammy’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Just because my career is in a totally different world doesn’t mean I can’t love nice clothes and accessories too. Know what I mean?” Tammy nodded. “You’re so young and smart; yes, you are beautiful and you would make a striking model, but would that really make you happy? There’s a whole world out there for you, Tammy; don’t rush into something just because it glitters. Gold and diamonds don’t always mean happiness. You can still have a wonderful job in some other field and have nice clothes at the same time. Your love for fashion doesn’t have to change, you know?”

  Tammy gave her a weak smile. “Thank you, Alyssa. Thank you for bringing me here and opening my eyes.” She sniffled and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. “It hurt like hell, but now I know I can finally move on and really think about my future. Actually, you know what? When I was little I always said I’d be a vet when I grew up; then the whole fashion thing came up and I forgot what my real dream had always been. Maybe all this happened so I could go back to my initial plan, you know, call it fate, karma, or whatever it is.”

  Alyssa felt her throat constrict, although she couldn’t pinpoint the reason for it. Tammy smiled.

  “I’ll be the most glamorous and trendy vet in the state of Wyoming.”

  “Yes, I think you will.” Alyssa laughed and stood up. “Now, let’s go find Sean. I’m afraid he got lost somewhere in the lobby.”

  Tammy giggled, and as they both turned back, they saw Sean standing only a few feet away from them, holding a bottle of Coke. The frown had left his face and he smiled as his eyes met Alyssa’s.

  Tammy took two steps and wrapped her arms around her brothe
r, who hugged her back.

  “I’m sorry I drove you crazy for all those years, Sean,” she said, her voice muffled by Sean’s coat. “And I’m sorry I made you worry with my outburst. I’m fine now, and I promise I won’t ever annoy you with all that nonsense about fashion again.”

  Sean let out a chuckle and pushed back a little to stare at his sister.

  “It’s okay, Tammy. I just want you to be happy, and if talking non-stop about some bags or shoes makes you happy, I’ll endure it.”

  Tammy laughed, and Alyssa knew the worst was behind now; she’d be okay soon.

  “Although, I guess it would make more sense for you to talk with Alyssa about it, since you know I can’t really tell a Prada from a Gucci . . .”

  “Well, at least you got the names right. That’s a great improvement, Sean.”

  They all laughed, and as Alyssa stepped closer to Sean, Tammy moved aside to let Alyssa take her place. Sean wrapped his arm around Alyssa’s shoulder and pulled her into his chest, whispering a quiet “thank you” in her ear, before placing a soft kiss on her temple.

  “Let’s go to my place; we can order some food and make plans for tomorrow,” Alyssa said, leading them outside.

  Tammy clapped her hands excitedly, and after they stepped into the taxi, Sean took Alyssa’s hand in his and didn’t let go until they reached her apartment.

  Chapter Thirty-nine

  They had dinner on the couch and Alyssa insisted they watch Singing In The Rain, so Sean would know what she’d been talking about that day in the woods. When the chorus started, both Tammy and Alyssa sang along, making Sean laugh out loud. She loved hearing him laugh like that, so careless and happy, without the weight of responsibility.

  Having people over for dinner and a movie was something Alyssa wasn’t used to; she’d never invited any of her friends or colleagues to dinner or for a girls’ night in. Being here with Sean and Tammy felt cozy and familiar—it felt just right.

 

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