“No,” I said, thinking him very naive that anything would embarrass me in my profession. “But my boss makes money on the girls getting guys to pay extra money for drinks, and especially lap dances. Hotcakes is not a Pizza Hut, it’s a stripper bar. He’ll tell you to leave if you do what you did tonight again.”
Terian made a face. “What should I be doing then? Ordering more drinks?”
“For starters, come inside with me now,” I said in a sultry way, heading to my back door. “But lock your truck first. This is a bad neighborhood.”
Terian looked like he was going to melt with desire, but then oddly he shook his head. “I don't want to rush things. I want to get to know you, Sun.”
His attempt at being some kind of boyfriend wasn’t necessary, or wanted tonight. “Either come inside, or leave now and don’t come back tomorrow,” I said abruptly, losing my patience. “I’ve got to get to bed. You can come with me or not, it’s your choice.” I walked inside, then turned and held the door open.
Terian came after me, blushing. As soon as we were inside and I’d locked the door, I reached for him. Then I was in his arms, kissing him passionately as he trembled, letting out soft, eager cries.
Poor guy. Terian must need a woman badly, which was surprising. He was cute enough that he wouldn’t ever be a pity fuck. Why had he waited so long to get some?
As I slipped my tongue into his mouth, I pushed back my hair from my sweaty face with my free hand. God, it’s hot in here. I unbuttoned his shirt, then stripped it off with his help, then his T-shirt, running my hands over his chest as Terian trembled harder.
“That feel good, baby?” I murmured.
“Yes,” he moaned softly. “I love your hands on me. I could feel them like this all night.”
Does he have a fetish? What man didn’t want a woman’s hands playing his organ? Go figure. “Come with me.”
Grabbing his hand, I pulled him to my bedroom, and sat him on the bed. “Grab us some protection,” I instructed, stripping off my shirt and jeans. “It’s in the drawer.”
Terian hesitantly grabbed out a condom from the nightstand. Before he got it on, I pushed him back on the bed.
“God, I want you,” I said in a heated rush, feeling his hard, lean body beneath mine. It had been a month or so since I’d last taken a man to bed. I’d just not felt like it, or so I told myself. “God, you’re so hot—”
Terian was pulling back from me, grimacing.
What the hell? “You okay?” I asked, my hand paused over his pant’s zipper.
“Don’t talk about a higher being,” he said quietly. “I’m sensitive to that.”
Ah shit, a Christian freak. I should have known this was too good to be true. “I’m not Mary Magdalene,” I said contemptuously, pulling back from him. “I didn’t invite you here to—”
“Who was she?” Terian asked, dumbfounded.
Ah. He must be just one of those people who didn’t believe in saying God or Jesus unless they were praying or something. One of the clients I had was like that. He didn’t like me referring to God in idle conversation when I gave him his monthly lap dance. That was understandable, him being a lay preacher. “Sorry,” I said with a nod. “I’ll try not to say it.”
Terian pulled me gently down to rest on his chest. I lay against him, liking the warmth of him. “Tell me you want me again,” he said with hesitancy. “Please?”
He seemed so young, I laughed lightly. “I want you, Terian. Take me.”
Terian took my face in his hands gently and kissed me. Then he was sliding his hands lower to caress me gently. But he didn’t move to take off my remaining clothes.
Why is he taking so long? I reached down to undo his pants myself, but he stopped me. “I want to take my time,” he said quietly. “It’s the first time. I want it to be special.”
I was touched he wanted to play the romantic lover for our first time, and then immediately irritated that I felt like that. But I couldn’t make myself say something sarcastic. “Okay,” I said, caressing his skin again. “Take your time.”
Terian kissed me for a long time. At first, he did it very cautiously and carefully. Soon, he was delving into my mouth with his seeking tongue, and licking me urgently, as his hands roamed my clothed body. Finally, he removed my tank top, then caressed my bare skin, kissing me all over, making soft wordless sounds of excitement. I couldn’t wait anymore by then, though, so I pushed back from him, unhooked my bra in a deft practiced motion, and tossed it aside.
Terian looked at me for a moment like he was awestruck. Then he reached a hand to cup my breast. The moment his hand closed on it, he lost a little of his self-control. He shoved me back on the bed, sucking my tit hard into his mouth, his hand rubbing my other nipple. He felt so good I let out a groan, and then he was rubbing his face on my breasts, licking and squeezing them. I groaned loudly, moving urgently beneath him. But I’d always liked men who enjoyed my whole body, and gave it attention. Too many men slipped off their jeans, and before I knew it, they were snoring.
Terian was still writhing on me, panting. Suddenly, I felt his erection pressing against my hip. Shit! That couldn’t be him. He was huge! Riveted, I slid my hand down between us and gripped the hardness. He went completely still.
It is him. Hell. I opened his jeans with ease, and slid the whole of him out. Then I pushed him back on the bed so I could get a good look. Wow.
“Very nice.” I ran my hand over his penis, massaging the head and then the shaft. Terian was bucking all over on the bed, and then suddenly he came. He spurted out with a cry, his hot semen spattering my hand. I jerked my hand back with a cry.
Terian looked at me, his face scared. “Did I hurt you?”
Why in hell would he think that? “No,” I said, disappointed. “But I was looking forward to sex, and now it’ll be a while.”
“I’m not done,” Terian said lustily. Then he grinned. “Babe.”
Blinking in disbelief, I saw he was still erect. I’d never seen a man come, and have him not go soft on me. “How’d you do that? Viagra?”
Terian grinned wider, and pushed past me to the bathroom, stripping off his jeans as he went. “I don’t need drugs, Sun. I’m special,” he said. “Give me a second.”
When he returned, he stopped in the doorway, looking at me. I’d taken the opportunity to shed the rest of my clothes and pose on the bed sexily. As he got into bed, I handed him another condom. He slipped it on quickly, then began pressing down on me with his hips.
“Tell me if I hurt you,” he whispered. “I know I’m big.”
“You are,” I groaned, feeling the length of him push into me inch by delicious inch. “God, it—”
Terian let out a cry, stopped his movements, and gave me a hurt look.
“I’m sorry,” I assured quickly, pulling him back towards me. “I won’t say anything else. Please don’t stop—”
Terian nodded. With a thrust, he pushed the rest of himself in and began to piston deeply, clasping my body to his. As before, he came within a few seconds, his groan of release almost inaudible. Again, he hurried to the bathroom, cleaned up, and returned, eagerly taking up his same position within me. “You feel so good to me, Sun,” he whispered. “So right...Mmm...”
I held his body close to mine, panting slightly in arousal as he moved on me. I didn’t mind his already coming twice, but I would be the one coming next or I was showing him the door, no matter how good he felt.
It wasn’t long for me, but then it usually wasn’t. I climaxed hard, screaming out wordlessly over and over. As I began to scream, Terian increased his pace, hammering into me, his own shout loud as mine as he came.
He withdrew, lay beside me, and then looked at me impishly. “Tell me when you want me to stop, Sun. I don’t want to hurt you.”
I looked at him in disbelief. “You can go again now?”
He nodded.
“Keep going then,” I requested with a wicked smile. “Give me everything you’ve got!�
�
Terian grinned, then pulled me beneath him.
Terian fucked me over and over that night. I loved it, loved the feel of him rubbing me, stimulating me. But three hours later, I did stop him. I was beginning to get sore, plus he’d exhausted my supply of condoms and his. I’d come six times, a new record for me. And he’d come at least twenty times. I couldn’t believe it almost, but I’d lived it. For me, that meant it was real.
We slept for a while together. I woke up first and began running my hands over him. He’s asked for that all night, over and over, for me to touch him with my hands.
Terian yawned, then looked over at the clock. “I have to go,” he said apologetically. “I’ve got work.”
Well, that was understandable. It was close to noon. “That’s fine,” I said, feeling a little hurt for some weird reason. Let it play out. You can’t stop it happening anyway. “I should get moving myself.” I went to get up.
Terian stopped me, grabbing my arm. “I’d still like to take you out tonight,” he said quickly. “What time should I pick you up?”
This was a new one. “Three a.m.,” I got out. “But you don’t have to, if you—”
“I meant what I said,” Terian insisted as he pulled on his clothes. “I want to get to know you.” Then he reached over and took my hand, putting it to his lips.
I tried not to be touched by his efforts to be romantic. “You know me now,” I said, shrugging. “This is all there is.”
“No, it’s not,” he said, hugging me gently. “But I want to see all there is, if you’ll let me get close to you, Sun.”
Was he asking to be a boyfriend? And did I want one? I hugged him and didn’t reply.
“Do you want me to pick up more protection for us?” he asked.
Ah. He wanted to see me again because he wanted more sex. I understood that. “Sure.”
“We don’t have to be intimate again tonight,” Terian said quickly, drawing back to look at me. “But I used all of yours, so I thought it only right I offer.”
Who is this guy, that he’s so...well, so nice? I’d never met a handsome man that was so nice, ever. Usually, they were pricks, with egos as big as the Montana sky, like my father...Leave it alone right now, Sun. You think about that, you’ll ruin this. Don’t ruin this.
I locked my past up, threw the key into the racks of some leftover dreams, and focused on Terian. “Sure,” I said, shrugging again. “It would be a good idea to get some more.”
“Do you like flowers?” he asked shyly.
I gaped at him. “You want to buy me flowers?”
“Only if you like them,” he added quickly. “I thought you might be allergic. I—”
He’s too good to be true. And that means something bad is coming. “What is this?” I said, getting out of bed. “We had sex. That was it—”
“I want there to be more,” Terian interrupted. “Don’t you want more?”
I was going to say “no,” then I realized I did maybe want more. He’d been a good lover, and I’d liked being with him. Maybe it was time for a change.
You’re going to get hurt, if you let anyone in.
Fuck off and die, I told that familiar voice inside me. Just once, I’m going to see where this goes, instead of driving him away. “Maybe,” I admitted. “But I’m not sure.”
“Then try it out,” he said, giving me a dazzling smile. “What have you got to lose?”
My heart, maybe. “All right,” I said tentatively. “I’d love some flowers. Yellow roses are my favorite.”
“Then I’ll bring you some tonight,” he said gallantly. Terian took me in his arms, kissed me once tenderly, and left. A second later, he was back, “for one last kiss” and then he left again, grinning widely.
I was smiling, too, in spite of myself. It wasn’t often that men made me smile, at least, not in a good way like this. Usually I was amazed at how dumb they acted. Maybe my luck was changing.
Chapter Three
Terian showed up right on time that night, bearing a dozen yellow long-stemmed roses. Again, we went to an early breakfast at the diner and then to my place. Being with him was just as good this night as before. But there was one surprise.
“Tell me if you want me to...um...touch you in...um...if you like...if you want me to do anything other than I’m doing, Sun,” he said awkwardly. “I’m not very experienced.”
“It’s not like you’re a virgin,” I teased laughingly.
Terian went crimson.
I knew what that meant, and my mouth fell open. “You’re telling me that you—?”
“Yes,” Terian choked out, turning redder. “Last night, okay?”
I’d never even met a man who was a virgin before, much less been with one. Last night I’d taken his virginity. God, he had to be in his twenties, if not thirties! What had taken him so long?
Terian was clearly uncomfortable, so I didn’t ask what I was dying to know. Instead, I touched his shoulder softly. “Don’t worry about it. You were great so far, and that’s all I need for now, okay?”
“Okay,” he said with relief, and hugged me.
* * * *
A week passed like water, then two. We ate, fucked, and spent time together. And late one night, he just stayed. I can’t remember which of us suggested it. It wasn’t a problem for me; it saved us having to worry about making plans for the next night.
But after a month of living together, Terian told me that he wanted me to quit stripping. I hit the roof. “I was a stripper when you met me.”
“Sun, I know that. I just think that you should quit, because you don't have to—”
“Why don't I have to?”
“I’ll support you,” he said stoically, taking me in his arms. “I’m happy living here, with you. I’d like—”
“I like to strip,” I said in a low, flat tone. “I like the money, and I’m not giving it up.”
“Would you feel the same way if you were my wife?”
Nervous butterflies swarmed suddenly in my stomach and chest. It was loud and clear that Terian was thinking of marriage already. It was also clear that he thought that I was going to be June Cleaver to his Ward Cleaver once he popped the question.
No. Fucking. Way. “I’m not cut out to be anybody’s wife,” I said with a sneer. “I don’t want to quit.”
“Don’t you care about me?” he asked in a small tentative voice.
For some reason, that made me so fucking furious I lost it, the bitter lie forming on my lips to spill out before I could stop it. “What we have is just sex to me, like I’ve had with dozens of men.”
Terian gave me an unbelieving hurt look. Then, without a word, he gathered up his things and left.
I cried that night like I hadn’t in some years. But I told myself it was better this way, as he would have hurt me if we went on much longer. Hurting him first was the best thing to do.
* * * *
I didn’t hear from Terian for some months. I did my job, slept with a few losers I regretted as soon as I’d seen them naked, and soon it was Christmas. As usual, I sent my father the requisite card, and I sent my mother flowers to her burial plot.
My tale of childhood woe I’d told to Terian had been true, from a point of view. My mother had committed suicide when she found my father cheating on her with a sixteen-year-old girl. That the girl was her foster daughter was too much for her. So she took an overdose of Valium, went to sleep, and never woke up.
I was two at the time.
My father raised me, if you counted the endless nights of me watching TV and eating dinners I microwaved myself while he fucked a stream of women in the trailer’s one bedroom.
When he wasn’t balling some babe, he was working: driving trucks, hauling furniture, fixtures, and God knew what to who knew where.
Given that description of his character, it might seem unbelievable that so many women wanted his company, that they gave him money or would consent to watch his brat—me—while he was off driving for day
s on end. The easy answer was that my father was incredibly handsome. He had dark brown hair with a slight curl that he wore long, and rich blue eyes like cobalt that seemed perpetually knowing. Even though he drank beer, and ate only fast food, through some trick of genes his body was lean, and powerfully built. But the most captivating thing about him was his charm. God, he was charming. I knew that he was shallow as a rock, and just as caring, but he faked emotions so well that it was hard not to believe he meant every word he said. Hell, he was so good at it, women looked for a reason, any reason to believe what he said, and when there was no logic to follow in his given argument, they usually made something up.
I was not immune. Over and over I believed him when he said he’d changed and seen the error of his ways, and repeatedly I was hurt when he went right back to his old habits within the space of a few days. It took me the better part of fourteen years with him to wise up. When I did, I left.
That was when I started dancing. I’d watched enough of my father’s stripper-friends as they practiced their routines to know how to move, and gotten tips from a few of the more friendly ones. Wanting at least a few states between us so he wouldn’t accidentally find me some night, I’d moved out here to New York, trading the desert for forest, and never looked back.
* * * *
One night in March, I looked out in the crowd and saw Terian was there, watching me dance. When my set was over, my boss told me to get my ass over to him, because he’d paid for me for private dances for the next hour solid.
I pasted a smile on my face and nodded, because I knew to refuse was to get fired. Then I went over to Terian, and began to dance. I expected...well, I don’t know what I expected. Maybe for him to have brought me some roses, or for him to offer to take me out for breakfast. Instead, he just watched me dance.
Not to make it seem he was distant or uninterested. All his focus was on me. When I sat down on his lap, his hard erection bulged through his jeans against my bare thighs. Yet he made no move to touch me. When I was done and the hour was up, he leaned in close and whispered, “Want me to meet you outside after you get off work?”
Sundown & Serena Page 2
