Ethel was confused because she saw Mr. Grant breathing. Was the orderly trying to trick her or was it all just a bad nightmare? The pain in her body felt real enough. She did know one thing, she didn’t believe that he didn’t want to kill her. With her out of the way, no one would probably find out what they had been doing. She wondered if it was really Missy who was helping him or someone else. And why did they kill the doctor? Was Dr. Dutter the one Missy was having an affair with, or was he working with them, and they decided to make a smaller team?
Luckily, the orderly was going the opposite way in the parking lot. Ethel felt excited when she saw her friend, Anita’s vehicle. Her friend was famous for always forgetting to lock her car door. With luck, the handle moved and Ethel tried to quietly get into the blue Honda. She remembered Anita always kept a spare set of keys in the glove compartment. Her legs were much better and she could move them more. It would be painful to drive the car but she was getting away from this horror, no matter what.
Ethel slowly put the keys into the ignition, still with her head down. She hadn’t closed the car door yet because she thought it would make too much noise. Peeking up, she couldn’t even see the orderly. So she slammed the car door and quickly started the engine. Living in New York didn’t give her a chance to drive often, so it took a moment to remember how.
As she was driving slowly towards the exit, the sounds of outside let her know that the New Year had begun. People’s voices were raised, cheering and hollering. The sound of fireworks blasted and sounded like gun shots in the closed parking garage. When she saw the happy face of the plastic snowman, she felt so relieved to be leaving the hospital that she almost waved back.
The orderly jumped in front of the car and Ethel slammed on the brakes, screaming. The man was mad, very mad. His eyes looked like burning coals and he seemed to be dragging his left leg. With a wicked grin, he came at the car windshield with the axe. She could see he was bleeding badly, but it didn’t seem to be slowing him down. Before she could think, she stepped on the gas pedal and it lunged the car forward. Pinning the orderly between the huge snowman and the car.
One of the snowman’s twig arms had fallen over the bloody face of the orderly, almost protecting him.
Luckily, the noise had brought hospital security outside. Before Ethel passed out, she was getting pulled out of the wreckage.
***
Ethel laid in a flower filled room on a different floor of Christmas hospital, surrounded by some of her Clover Court neighbors, and Detective Vince Carpino. Besides a few bruises, she had made it to New Year’s Day.
“So sugar, explain to me again what was going on this whole time. I’m still confused about it,” Doris said, her trademark cowboy hat on top of her head.
“Well, two of the nurses on my floor—“
“—Missy and Gita.” Vince added. His warm, handsome face was only interrupted by his large nose.
“Right. They had—well Missy had accidently given my roommate Mr. Grant the wrong medication. She gave him a pill form of Lidocaine. The usual use is tropical and you just rub it on the area. The medication numbs the body, and when taken orally, numbs the mouth as well. Mr. Grant had a stroke, or heart attack because of it. Anita is doing the autopsy now. I thought at first Mr. Grant was breathing but when the staff removed his blanket, they found a tiny massage machine that was making the movements. Missy got Gita involved, and the senior nurse didn’t want to lose her job for letting one of her nurses be so careless.”
Ethel paused to sip the water Vince had poured. She still felt weird as the drug was leaving her system, and she had the worst dry mouth on the planet.
Bernice was tired of waiting, and stumped her feet. “So how did the doctor get killed? Come on, I could die before you finish the story.” Ethel decided not to get angry with her. She had made it through the worst night of her life.
“Dr. Dutter found out when he made his rounds and checked Mr. Grant’s vitals. Missy walked in and begged him not to say anything. You see, the doctor was in love with her and agreed. Unbeknownst to them, the orderly—“
“—real name Richard Hyde,” Vince interjected.
“The orderly—Richard Hyde, overheard them talking. He knew the doctor was in love with Missy. He was scared that Missy was going to dump him. So he decided to kill Dr. Dutter. But then I was put into the room.”
“Oh friends. This story is out of this world, and I would be the perfect person to play you in the movie.” Fading actress Rita Renee said, drawling glares from everyone in the room.
“Would you just let her finish the damn story?” Mr. Healy said from across the room. “I have to get home and feed Cuddles.”
The mention of Mr. Healy’s cat made her think of her dog, Ace. She was glad her friend Jim was taking care of him. He was the only neighbor from Clover Court that was absent, and it kind of made her feel sad. The young man had been a big help to her on many occasions. Besides taking care of her dog, he was also watching the coffee shop that she owned, The Bold & the Bean. She had also been a lot of help to him, or at least she had hoped. Jim had had a rough childhood and drug problem, and often said Ethel was the first person not to judge him.
“The orderly grabbed Dr. Dutter when I was sleeping. And tied his hands behind his back, and put a plastic bag over his head to smother him to death. I assume the doctor was making his rounds and came into my room when the orderly was waiting for him. He then raised Mr. Grant’s bed and stuffed the doctor under it until they could get rid of the body.”
“Savages!” Professional dancer Kylie said, sporting green highlights and doing leg stretches around the room. “But what about the noises you heard?”
“What they didn’t know was Dr. Dutter had somehow made a hole in the plastic bag around his face. His hands were tied, and he was gagged, but he was still alive, barely, and running out of time. The hole was small, so he was losing air every-time he moved around. We are doing tests. I think there was a small whole already in the bag that the orderly didn’t notice.”
Ethel waited for Vince to finish and then went on, “Dr. Dutter was the one making the scratching sounds and noises. If only I could have saved him. It just breaks my heart to think I was so close and he was suffering.”
“It’s not your fault Ethel. What a bunch of heartless people.” Doris added.
The room was silent for a couple of minutes as everyone thought in different ways how the world could be so dangerous and cruel. Even in their own Clover Court—their hidden yard from the noises and evils of New York had seen violence and murder.
“Detective Carpino, did the orderly live?” Bernice’s son, Barney, asked with his finger buried in his nose. His mother’s dirty look made him pull it out.
“He died in surgery over an hour ago. Missy made a full confession when we confronted her.”
Jim came in the room with a big smile and shopping bags. “I’m so glad you’re okay Ethel!” She hoped Jim wasn’t bringing more flowers. Her friends had overdone it and her room was starting to look like a funeral. Jim pulled out colorful streamers and decorations with Happy New Year on them. Neighbor Mara and her boyfriend—nobody could remember his name—brought out bottles of mini champagne.
To Ethel’s surprise, everyone took a role in hastily decorating her room, even grumpy Mr. Healy took pride in pinning gold balloons on all the hospital equipment.
“What is all this?”
“You spent your New Year’s Eve fighting a madman. You deserve some cheer!” Jim hugged her and left the room as the little bottles of champagne were popped open. “I’ll be right back.”
To Ethel’s delight she saw Ace trying to wiggle out of Jim’s arms when the little dog saw her. Ace greeted Ethel with more kisses than she could handle. Being sick and in the hospital had made her feel vulnerable, and it frightened her. Being single with no children had made her think she would spend the rest of her life alone. But her wonderful dog and fabulous friends had made her remember that she was loved, sh
e was needed, and no matter what happened in her life, someone did give a damn about her.
They all toasted their mini bottles and looked out Ethel’s big hospital window. Snow had started falling outside. Snowflakes were blowing against the window and melting. Soon, the temperature would drop and the snow would stay. She was now safe and surrounded by people who cared about her, and the feeling lit her up like the New Year’s fireworks she had missed.
What better way to start off the New Year than with champagne and love from your friends?
Excerpt from Death Of A Christmas Tree Man. An Ethel Cunningham mystery. Available now.
On the far left stood the most beautiful trees you have ever seen. Dick, the Christmas tree man as most people called him, would sometimes be sitting on his folded chair talking to the trees like they were people. Christmas music played from a beat-up speaker that resembled an old air raid warning contraption. When it wasn’t busy or got too cold Dick could be seen in his truck parked by the trees sometimes sipping out of a brown paper bag or sleeping. Unlike the other two tree sellers, where you inspected the trees and picked the one you wanted, Dick chose who should own his trees. The man was cursed when it came to actually making a living, but didn’t seem to care, though it did seem like he did very well. The famous editor of Vogue magazine was rumored to only buy her home and office Christmas trees from him.
Ethel could see Jim’s breath as he spoke and watched her own as she answered him back.
“Let’s take a look at the Russian deli trees first.”
“Really, Ethel, they look like they would die before we got around the block.
They stood on the corner with fresh snow up to their knees, and looked at all the trees near and far on the street as cars slowly drove by trying not to crash into one another because the streets were still not plowed. A bum in a blue designer fur coat & Prada sunglasses begged for change and two guys in short-shorts walked by with their gym bags. Eighth Avenue looked like a picture out of Charles Dickens mind after a tablet of Ecstasy and a couple of cocktails.
As they were deciding, and with eyes tearing because of the cold weather, the tree vultures smelled fresh meat. First Annka rushed out smiling like a jack-o-lantern with gold teeth. Ethel thought her head on any porch could scare the devil himself. Annka yelled at Pedro, her employee, who usually guarded the fruit, to wipe off the snow that was building up on her trees. Mistake number five-hundred for the big Russian doll. A small frown came on Annka’s face because the snow-free trees now looked even wimpier.
Across the street, Christmas tree salesman, Ham, was smiling in their direction and even waved, for which they returned, but their feet stayed firm in the dusty white snow. Ham made a show of popping a tree up and down on the ground to shake the loose needles and show off, but, unfortunately for him, it shook off most of the branches with it. Ham quickly hid them as if they didn’t see the whole thing. Both Ham and Annka exchanged dirty looks and mutterings under their breath in different languages.
Dick started plucking little loose pine needles off a standing tree that was so huge Ethel wondered how many Manhattan apartment roofs would be able to hold the green monster. Dick was talking to the tree and she strained to over-hear him as Jim was looking into his phone.
“Hi Louise, how are you doing today? Yes. You are my big beautiful girl. What’s that? Yes there are a lot of unattractive people out today.”
Ethel thought he was crazy, but suddenly she changed her mind. Now that the light wasn’t reflecting off the snow so much she could see what a magnificent tree Louise was. Though huge, it had the most interesting color she had ever seen; green with touches of auburn and blue through the branches like highlights.
“Where should we go first? I’m freezing my balls off!”
Ethel felt more hesitation than John Travolta’s wife when she gets a new issue of The National Enquirer, and her husband is on the cover.
Without saying her answer she led him over to Dick. Clouds quickly blocked out the sun as a huge wind almost knocked them over. Ethel choose to ignore the obvious omen.
“Windy! Happy Holidays.” Ethel regretted saying it.
“For those working in the freezing cold and dealing with morons on an hourly basis—not so happy. What can I do for you two?” Dick answered, looking them up and down.
Jim took over as Ethel stewed.
“We’re looking for a tree, not too small-not too big.”
“I bet that’s what you tell your boyfriends.”
Jim felt his fist clench.
Dick went down the neatly formed lines of trees as Ethel and Jim followed. Ethel had to open and close her eyes because she couldn’t believe what she was witnessing. As Dick went down the line of trees it seemed like they swayed with his body movement and vied for his attention. Was she seeing what she wanted to see or what Dick wanted her to see?
Ethel and Jim quietly looked at each other in desperation as Dick talked trees.
“You know, owning a real tree is far better than those awful artificial ones they sell all over. Not only are real trees great to look at with a smell that can’t be manufactured. They are environmentally better for the earth because after they die you can turn them into mulch. Artificial trees are not biodegradable and pollute the earth.
Ethel silently felt bad for pulling out her Jaclyn Smith, six inch fake tree she had in her apartment every year.
“This here is Suzy and Willie. Four inches both. They are a little small but would look great in most Manhattan-sized apartments.”
“We’re getting a tree for the courtyard,” Jim said, looking at pine trees that he towered over.
“Ah, Clover Court. Well then, you should meet Wilbur. He is about seven inches. Skinny for a fir, but very nice and I think he likes you both.”
“I had my eye on Louise,” Ethel said without eye-contact.
“Oh, did you now. And do you think you deserve Louise with that bleached blonde hair and enormous ass of yours?”
Ethel felt flames rising within, but held her tongue.
“Now wait a minute, you don’t have to be so nasty!” Jim yelled at him, trembling.
“Oh, bark down, String Bean. You know my trees pick their owners, and Louise would have nothing to do with either of you two turds!”
“OK, I’ve had enough. I hope you and Louise will be happy on Mars together. Maybe when she dies you both can jump into the mulch machine together. I would take personal pride with sprinkling you around my yard. Come on Jim!”
Ethel stormed off with Jim on her heels. They stopped at the corner and could hear Dick laughing and whispering to Louise. For a moment she thought she could see Louise answering him and laughing at them as well. Ethel blinked her eyes and thought she must be losing her mind. It’s a tree, and it’s not alive. The clouds opened again and sun rained down on the snow and temporary blinded them until their eyes adjusted.
What they didn’t know was that Dick was laughing because he loved when someone had the nerve to tell him off. He always thought Ethel dressed like a harpy, and he hated peroxide blondes, but she earned his respect this day with her biting tongue.
“Let’s go see what Ham has.” Ethel said demurely as Jim shook his head, laughing.
They made their way over to Ham. He seemed nervous for some reason, but Ethel thought he just was anxious to make a sale. Still, she put it in the back of her mind that something wasn’t right—not that there was ever anything “right” with Ham, but still, there was something different in his personality than when she knew him before.
“Jim…Ethel. I’ve saved the best tree for you guys.”
Ethel looked at Ham as he grabbed odd shaped trees, only to grab another. He acted confused and unsure of himself as which to show them first. Ham’s orange-red hair always seemed windblown even on windless days, and today it seemed even more askew.
“Now, this is our cream of the crop. For Clover Court I imagine?”
“Yes,” Jim answered, his eyes looking for a be
tter tree then the one that seems to be falling apart as they stand.
“How much for this beauty?” Ethel asked almost with a yawn.
“For you, my friends. Only $200.”
“For $200, I’d rather be an enemy,” Jim laughed without smiling.
Ethel and Jim both looked at each other, and Ham was starting to sweat. Ethel and Jim wondered how many trees Ham had sold lately. Ethel thought she should just buy one to help the poor guy out, but then she would have to look at the eyesore for some time. Also she knew many of the residents of Clover Court would gossip about her if the tree sucked or died before Christmas.
Residents of Clover Court usually left their decorations up until the middle of January, though she doubted one of Ham’s trees could get them to Christmas Eve.
“I would never steer a friend wrong, Ethel. I’m offering you my best tree at an honest price.” Ham smiled like a dirty old man with a front row seat at Annie.
“For $200 you can stick it. This tree is worth $60, and that’s being kind. You must be out of your mind if you think we’d pay you that. Look! The bottom branches just disintegrated!” Ethel fumed as she went down Ham’s trees, followed by a shocked Jim and a sweating Ham.
“How about $185!”
“And this one has no right side…this one here is crooked…”
Jim tried not to laugh as they followed Ethel down the line of trees.
“$150!” Ham yelled.
“This one isn’t even a Christmas tree, looks like an over-grown cactus.”
“$130!”
“If this tree here was a horse, they’d shoot it…”
“$100!”
“Charlie Brown wouldn’t even buy this tree…”
“Okay, you’re killing me…$80 dollars for you, Ethel!” Ham shouted, overcooked.
New Year's Eve Kill Page 3
