by R. A. Lee
Another thought was even worse.
I will never make love to Matthew again.
For a moment, when Jake was inside, holding her close, his breath heavy on her neck, for a moment, she had imagined it was Matthew and she held on tightly. When they were through, she didn’t want to be reminded that it wasn’t Matthew. She needed to hold that memory. She was beginning to lose that memory. It was unbearable.
Shaking, Brooke took a long hot shower, and as she climbed into bed, she made sure she didn’t face the happy family photo.
The guilt would kill her.
Chapter 6
As Jake lay in bed, he was surprised Brooke had come to his room to “thank him.” Taking control, Brooke had brought him to a level of pleasure he didn’t think she was capable of achieving. Somewhat pretty, nowhere near ravishing, there was nothing that was really sensual about her. She wasn’t Jenny, who was sexy just breathing.
Leaving him breathless, Brooke just got up and left. Exhausted, Jake fell asleep thinking about the woman he had married.
Getting ready for another two-week stay in the city, Jake hoped to have a moment with Brooke before he left.
The commotion downstairs made Jake realize he probably wouldn’t have a moment alone with Brooke. He showered and got dressed for the ride back to the city.
As he stood in the hallway, Jake’s mother entered through the French doors and smiled at her son.
“I’m going to take MJ to school today,” she beamed and they both entered the kitchen. Jake was transfixed on Brooke as she poured cereal, packed a lunch and sang a song with her son. Not looking at Jake, she tightened her robe around her. After Brooke kissed and hugged her son, Jake followed his mother and MJ to the door. When they departed, he turned and watched as Brooke cleaned up the kitchen, and wiped down the table. He still couldn’t believe it was the same woman from last night.
Realizing Jake was staring, Brooke turned to head out of the kitchen.
“Anytime you want to thank me…” he said hoarsely. Brooke stopped and turned. Her cheeks were red from embarrassment and she couldn’t look Jake in the eyes.
“I’m sorry about that,” she apologized needlessly. “I’ve never done that before, not with a stranger.”
“Well, it was appreciated,” he said from across the room.
“I know you’re with someone else,” she explained. “That was very selfish of me. It won’t happen again.”
Brooke started to leave then stopped. Turning to Jake she took a deep breath and considered her thoughts before she spoke.
“Are you freaked out MJ called you daddy?” she asked. Jake was still thinking about her caress and she was worried about a million other things. “I never discussed it with him. I don’t want you to think I told him to. You just looked freaked out. I was freaked out for other reasons,” she explained, mumbling the last part to herself.
Jake had freaked out. He hadn’t thought about the possibility of being called daddy. Appeasing his mother had been the only thing on his mind when he entered the arrangement with Brooke. He had chosen a ready-made family and a woman who could buffer the hostility between him and his mother.
“We’ll talk when I get back,” he said. Brooke nodded, turned and left quickly. Jake stood in the kitchen alone.
Taking a deep breath, Jake turned and headed to his car. For the first time since he took over his parents’ house, Jake actually looked forward to returning.
Revving his motor and screeching into a U-turn, Jake headed to his life in the city.
Alone in his condo, Jake thought about many things. Staring out over the city from his wall of windows, Jake rested his elbow on the armrest of his leather sofa and dangled a wine glass over the edge.
There were no pictures in Jake’s condo. Only carefully chosen art pieces he and Jenny had picked out while traveling the world. Jake had only paid for the pieces and he relied on Jenny and her artistic talent to select the perfect pieces.
Appreciating art, Jake didn’t admire it and he really didn’t find any pleasure in the wild gyrations and frenetic fancy even when Jenny explained the significance of the piece. Jake found pleasure in having Jenny lay in bed explaining why it was an important piece of art.
It had been a while since he had seen Jenny. Months before he entered the arrangement with Brooke, Jenny left with no indication as to when or if she’d return. Spite. That’s what urged Jake to marry Brooke.
Jake never intended for the drama that erupted when he went back to the house. Horrified as Brooke threw all his mother’s precious photos on the lawn, Jake realized he had underestimated his mother who saw right through his ruse. He had also underestimated Brooke.
Slapping the man in the bar, Brooke didn’t take insult well. It was what attracted him to her, the fact she could stand up for herself even when she should step back.
Bringing the two forces together under one roof had been a misjudgment on his part, and he got paid lots of money to make the right choices.
Jake knew Brooke was a widow, but he had no idea the power such emotions could produce when that memory was threatened. Assuming enough time had passed for her to have sufficiently mourned, he thought she would be content putting up with his mother and her nagging and antics in order to provide for her son.
When he had returned the photo to her room, he placed it on her nightstand as his mother requested and sat looking at the people in the picture to see what had enraged the woman.
Cleaning up the glass, Jake had been on the verge of calling his lawyer to dissolve the arrangement when his mother sat him down to explain where she herself, and not Brooke, had crossed the line.
Jake never thought he’d see the day when his mother apologized for nagging someone to the point of hysteria. Had she known how Brooke had lost her husband, she confessed, she would never have disturbed her memory. Wanting only the best for her son, his mother thought Jake was being cheated out of love by a woman who only married him for security. Even though Brooke was only with him for security, his mother understood her intentions were not as cold and calculating as she had assumed.
There were three people in the photo, a man, a woman, and a baby. They were very happy and looking in the camera and smiling.
Standing in the yard, watching Brooke and his mother battling, he had been startled when she explained how she had lost everything. His mother’s actions ignited an inferno of pent up pain and anguish.
The people in the photo knew no such pain. The woman in the photo was happy. She was content. The woman in the photo would have thought it unimaginable to propose sex to a new husband because he decided to play catch with her son.
The woman in the photo only knew of one father for her child. She did not know the pain of having their child call another man “daddy,” especially when it wasn’t in their arrangement.
Most of all, the happy woman in the photo didn’t look like she had any complex thoughts that spun and spun in her head becoming tangled and incomprehensible. She had a husband she loved, a child born from that love and that was all that mattered.
Jake did not know that woman.
He barely knew the woman he had agreed to provide for while he lived his life free of all provincial responsibility.
Although he wanted nothing more than to explore more of what Brooke had to offer, Jake knew he had to be careful not to complicate the situation further.
It was only a matter of time before Jenny returned, and that was all the wonderful complication he could handle.
…
In the office, Jake was too busy to think about anything except spreadsheets and projections. Weeks could go by before he realized he hadn’t taken a day off.
Intent on figuring out his latest projections, Jake was distracted by something on his neck and shrugged it off, and stopped as if under a spell.
Jake recognized the feel of the delicate fingers tracing the back of his neck and he gave in to the familiar sensation.
In a red dress that
fit her curvaceous body like a painted landscape on a winding mountain road, Jenny stood before him shimmering, the essence of foreign lands and exotic locales exuded from her like seductive perfume.
Hair like a fiery orange-red sunset framed her delicate face, and accentuated her bright blue eyes. Gripping the armrests of his chair, Jenny leaned in and Jake was transfixed by her eyes that reminded him of the calm blue waters of some white sandy beach where they escaped to be alone.
“It’s been a long time, Jake,” she purred in a seductive non-distinct European accent and Jake was seduced.
Taking her to lunch, Jake and Jenny sat in a private booth at their favorite downtown restaurant.
“How have you been?” Jenny asked after a very long “I’m very glad to see you” kiss.
“I’m doing well,” he answered and reached for his wine. A flash of gold reminded him he forgot to take off his ring. Quickly hiding his hands under the table, Jake hoped Jenny hadn’t noticed, and he slipped the ring off and put it in his jacket pocket.
This did not escape Jenny.
“I heard you went off and got married,” she said in a deep, sexy voice he only heard in more intimate settings. “I had to see it for myself.”
“It’s a business arrangement,” he whispered, pulling her close. “Pretty much like yours.”
“Aren’t they all, my darling?” she surmised and Jake kissed her two beautifully pouty lips.
“Are you back in town?” he asked almost eagerly.
“The Count and I are taking a break,” she explained and Jake contained his desire to celebrate. The Count and Jenny navigated their marriage based on the weather and not the journey.
At any moment, they could split up, but they never reached that point. Jenny desperately wanted that title but it was only hers as long as she stayed with the Count. The Count was a very old man and Jenny figured she could outlast him. It left her a lot of free time to have other interests, and she was interested in Jake.
“Let’s not talk about the Count or your arrangement,” Jenny moaned as she stretched and tugged at her skin-tight dress.
“Let’s get out of here,” he whispered hoarsely, already feeling the pleasure of the prelude to their lovemaking.
Grabbing a taxi to his nearby downtown condo, Jake fumbled with his keys as Jenny held on kissing and caressing. Stumbling through the elevator doors, they collapsed on the couch and Jake relieved her of her clothes.
As they parted, breathless, hours later in his room, Jake held Jenny in his arms as the pleasure rippled through his body and slowly faded into still waters.
“Is it truly horrible, married life?” Jenny finally asked while caressing Jake’s chest with her soft, warm, delicate palms.
Jake had no intention of boring Jenny with the details of the drama involved; she would think it was a charming story.
“It appeases my mother,” he shrugged. “I brought home a wife and kid, she’s happy to spoil a grandchild.”
Laughing, Jenny propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at Jake.
“You went all out, my darling,” she teased Jake with her finger on his lips and he instinctively closed his eyes and moaned. “Did you miss this?” she taunted, running her mischievous fingers along his mouth.
“No one can love me like you, Jenny,” he whispered as he gazed into her calm blue eyes. Leaning down for a kiss, Jenny caressed Jake’s cheek and he rolled her onto her back.
Nothing mattered when he was in her arms.
Chapter 7
Weeks passed by and Jake had no desire to head back to the house. He had all but forgotten about his life behind the gates and had no desire to return.
In late November, his mother called him to duty. It was Thanksgiving and he was expected. Unfortunately, Jake was in Paris with Jenny and traveling was difficult in the snow-covered states.
Promising to make it home for Christmas, Jake hung up the phone and realized that only left him a few weeks with Jenny before he had to fulfill his family obligations.
Explaining this to Jenny, Jake realized she had other plans as well.
There were many obligations for the wife of a Count as well at Christmastime.
“We’ll meet for the New Year,” he said, trying to get a promise from his love.
“I’ll be waiting,” she teased. Jake kissed Jenny and took one last look into her eyes.
“Don’t you ever wonder what it would be like if it were just you and I?” he asked without thinking. Averting his gaze, Jenny thought about his question.
“This works for us, my darling,” she said, kissing him quickly. “Why change anything?”
Jake didn’t know what he was thinking. What they had was great. It didn’t make sense to want anything more. How could it be any better?
Parting at the terminal, Jake headed to the states and Jenny to her Count.
Arriving at the house a few days before Christmas pleased his mother.
“Thank you, Jake,” she remarked when he visited her at the back house. “I wanted to let you know I promised Brooke we would all visit her mother at the home on Christmas Day.”
Jake didn’t object, but he wasn’t excited about meeting Brooke’s frail mother who believed they were married for love and Jake was paying for the best care out of the kindness of his heart, and not as part of an arrangement.
At the main house, MJ rushed up and hugged his legs to greet him.
“Merry Christmas, daddy,” he yelled wholeheartedly. Jake saw Brooke wince, and Jake gently pulled the boy from his grip and knelt at his eye level.
“MJ, that’s so sweet,” Brooke said, holding onto the counter and maintaining her composure. “When did you decide to call Jake ‘daddy,’ honey?”
“Well, he is, isn’t he?” the boy asked puzzled. “All my friends say it to their dads.”
“That’s so sweet,” Brooke said calmly. “We have business to discuss, why don’t you go to your room and play.” MJ gave Jake an animal growl and ran off to his room.
Brooke held onto the countertop with all her strength. Her knuckles were white and Jake hoped she didn’t pop a tile.
“It was inevitable,” Jake shrugged. “Don’t put too much thought into it.”
Brooke turned and glared at Jake with her eyes raised in her “are you kidding me” face.
“Inevitable, yes,” she agreed, releasing her grip on the countertop as she fixed her attention on Jake. Walking up to him without breaking eye contact, Brooke sighed and shook her head.
“Wait until you have a son,” she whispered painfully. “See how painful the inevitable is when you hear your child call another man ‘daddy’ when you know that man will never love your son the way his father did. You don’t know anything, Jake.”
Brooke closed her eyes, took a deep breath and walked away as if he weren’t even there.
Collapsing on an island chair, Jake was not expecting her angry homecoming. He had left the loving arms of the beautiful and delightful Jenny to fulfill his obligations. Dreading being at home for the holidays, all the drama and tension, Jake dreamed about the moment when he said good-bye and welcomed the New Year with Jenny.
…
Christmas shopping was being handled by Brooke and his mother, so Jake concentrated on the work he had put aside to spend loving moments with Jenny.
On Christmas Eve, MJ begged Jake to read him a story and he obliged. Whenever he spent a father-son moment with MJ, Jake could always feel Brooke’s remorseful eyes watching them interact, secretly angry but also overjoyed to have a father figure for her son.
Playing Santa, Jake, Brooke and his mother marched back and forth from the back house bringing present after present for the child who only thought there were a few presents under the tree. Jake realized this is what his parents must have done for him as well when he was a child.
He would go to bed on Christmas Eve thinking there were no presents, and on Christmas Day, Santa delivered. He now knew why his parents were exhausted on Christma
s morning.
Gratefully, Brooke had paid someone to assemble the motorized car and new bike his mother had splurged on for her only grandchild. Admiring their work, they each went to bed knowing they had a big day ahead.
Jake knew he was close to the finish line.
On Christmas morning, MJ opened all his gifts and the living room was littered with torn festive paper.
Then it was off to church, where Jake had to uncomfortably greet all the church members who said they were such a beautiful family. Jake knew why he was uncomfortable with being in church with his family after spending weeks with his girlfriend, but during the sermon he didn’t understand why Brooke seemed so angry as she clutched her jacket to her stomach and seemed to focus on something other than the preacher.
Afterward, they all got in the car and headed for the care center to visit Brooke’s mother.
Sitting in a large lounge decorated with colorful lights and holiday ornaments, Brooke’s mom stood to greet them dressed in a red and green robe with a Christmas tree embroidered on her chest.
Hugging MJ and Brooke, her mother waited to be introduced to Jake. Frail and thin, Brooke’s mother stood supported by her daughter. Stout and strong, his mother seemed young in comparison.
“Mom, this is my husband Jake, and his mother Winona,” Brooke said, introducing her new family.
Jake extended his hand, but the woman gently wiped it away and held out her arms for a hug. Jake walked to her slowly and gently embraced the woman, fearing he would break her fragile body.
Pulling away, her mother embraced his mother and they all sat and talked and sang and opened presents.
Jake wondered how bad the other center must have been if Brooke thought the new place was a resort in comparison. Stylish but sterile, the whole place was depressing and he finally appreciated the fact his mother was healthy and strong enough to live on her own. She would wither in an environment where she couldn’t command the respect of her stubborn son. In comparison, Brooke’s mother seemed reserved and accepting of her daughter’s choices. They wouldn’t really know, though, because Brooke hadn’t explained the details of their arrangement.
