I shrugged.
“I don’t know what I want,” I said.
“Well,” she said, “how about that painting you were going to do?”
I felt really bad after that but when I started painting I forgot. I was just thinking about the colours. I used two different greens and made another green by mixing blue and yellow together. I painted the willow and the lawn and the flowers down the sides and a little bit of the blue stream poking through the leaves.
And then I saw Glenda under the willow. It really was her. It’s the first time I’ve seen her. She was jumping up and touching the leaves. She looked so happy. She kept disappearing and then coming back again. I waved to her but she didn’t wave back. I didn’t mind. I’m just pleased she didn’t stay on her own at Skilly. I put her in my painting very faint so if you didn’t know she was there you wouldn’t see her. Or you might think she was a dove.
Martha said my painting is impressive, which means not bad for a beginner. I’m going to take it back to Skilly so I can remember this holiday forever.
Artists’ paints have really complicated names. They’re not just green and blue and red and yellow. They’re all the colours in between. Some of them are colours I never even knew existed. The names are really hard to remember so Martha said I should make up my own. These are my names next to the proper artists’ names.
Cerulean blue Summer sky
Ultramarine Stormy sky
Prussian blue School uniform
Chromium green Grass stains
Sap green Martha’s lawn
Cadmium yellow Sherbet lemons
Burnt sienna Spaghetti bolognaise
Cadmium red Anita’s lipstick
Raw umber Skilly stairs
Magenta Pomegranate seeds
Afterwards Martha stuck my names on to the tubes of paint. It means Zac can use them too if he wants. Martha doesn’t need to.
We’re going back to Skilly tomorrow. I want to see everyone but I don’t want to leave because then Martha and Appleton House will be a memory. And memories mean things are GONE. I don’t want here to be gone.
I haven’t even written in my diary properly so these are some of my favourite things so I never forget them.
Zac found a frog the size of his fingernail and put it in the stream.
We walked to the farm four times. Two times we went just for fun not even to buy eggs. We’re going again tomorrow to get eggs for Skilly. That means we will have walked twenty miles altogether because we’ll have been five times and every time is four miles.
We had tea in the garden four times, even one time when it was raining.
One evening we counted eight bats in one go.
Martha showed us photos of when she was a child playing under the willow and the tree was much smaller. Now she’s grown up she looks like her mother, the vicar’s wife.
We drew pictures on blank cards and sent them to Skilly.
I saw Glenda dancing under the tree and one time she was splashing in the stream.
Zac climbed to the top of the willow when Martha wasn’t looking and didn’t break any branches. He said he felt like a bird.
Doves sit at the top of the willow and they make cooing noises but when Zac climbed up they flew away.
I like it being quiet at night now. It’s like being wrapped in a big soft blanket.
Martha doesn’t go to church even though her dad was a vicar. She says God is in the garden.
This morning we collected twelve eggs in one long box to take back to Skilly. Me and Zac aren’t frightened of the chickens any more so it was easy. We didn’t take the plain eggs. We just took the speckled ones because they’re the prettiest. Then we said “Bye” to the chickens because we won’t see them again. As we walked back we didn’t talk at all. Zac just chased the squirrels. I was too sad to talk.
When Mrs Clanks came to get us she gave Martha a form with City Kids, Country Kids at the top. I wonder if Martha will ever take care kids again.
I didn’t want to bring my dress back to Skilly so I left it in the wardrobe and shut the door. It’s the first time the door’s been shut all week.
Martha drove us to the station but she didn’t wait with us. I think she wanted to get back to Appleton House so she could have it all to herself. Maybe she wanted to fix the rocking chair and see what else was broken. She said goodbye on the steps. First she shook hands with Mrs Clanks and then she leaned down and kissed my cheek. I could see myself in her glasses.
“What do you say, Ira?” Mrs Clanks said, which was annoying because I was going to say thank you and her saying that made it seem like I’d forgotten.
“Thank you for having us,” I said, and then I did a stupid curtsy. I couldn’t help it. I don’t think Zac saw. He was looking at his shoes. Martha had polished them and the sun was bouncing off them.
“Thank you,” said Martha. “It’s been a pleasure.”
Then she kissed Zac’s hair. She knew he’d jump if she touched his face. He stood really still but he didn’t move away so it was OK.
“Zac?” said Mrs Clanks.
“Thank you,” said Zac.
Martha had wrapped my painting in newspaper. When she gave it to me she said, “Look after it, it’s a beauty.”
Then she gave Zac the box of eggs. He wrapped his hands around it like it was a new baby and he couldn’t drop it. Probably it was even more fragile than a new baby, like lots of new babies.
I looked back at Martha as we went into the station. She should have looked funny with her big feet and her bobbing head but she didn’t. She looked nice and a bit worried, like she thought Zac might drop the eggs.
All the way back to London I felt like I’d left a bit of myself at Martha’s house. Like part of me will always be a little ghost painting in her garden. Zac held on to the box of eggs the whole way back. He didn’t even wriggle.
Mrs Clanks got out her papers again so we didn’t have to talk to her. The only thing she said was, “I think you made a very good impression. Well done.”
I felt bad when she said that even though I think she was trying to be nice. I expect she’s pleased because Martha might let other kids go there.
Silas was waiting at the station like he said he would. It was like he’d been standing there the whole week. He had a big smile on his face. I ran along the platform and gave him a hug. Zac did a funny sort of skip because he didn’t want to drop the eggs.
“You look different,” Silas said.
“What do you mean?”
“More grown up, I suppose. Like you’ve seen something of the world and it’s changed you.”
I said, “Is that OK?”
And he said, “Oh yeah.”
It’s strange being back at Skilly. Everything seems so noisy and busy. Someone’s hung a sheet on the flats over the road with STOP THE POLL TAX in big black drippy letters. When the wind blows it flaps against the wall. Skilly looks the same though. It looks like we never even left.
Zac gave Hortense the box of eggs and she opened it carefully in case they were broken but all twelve eggs were perfect.
“Did you carry them the whole way?” she said.
Zac nodded.
“It’s a small miracle,” she said.
Because miracles can be big or small. Miracle isn’t just a name for a kid somebody doesn’t know if they want or not. Miracles can be big like someone walking on water and small like eggs not getting broken.
Me and Zac told everyone about our holiday over and over. Sometimes I told a story one way and then Zac told the same story in a different way but nobody minded. They couldn’t believe Martha lived in the same house all of her life. Everyone’s mouth fell open. Even Hortense was surprised. We sat at the kitchen table and everyone listened and looked at the speckled eggs. Ashani sat on my lap and put her head on my shoulder. She seemed a bit sad. She liked the eggs with the feathers on top so I gave her a feather to cheer her up – a really soft white one. I expect she wishes she’d come.
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Everyone liked the cards we sent, and my painting. I didn’t tell them Glenda was in it. They all thought the little Glenda shape was a rabbit.
Hortense said, “It’s beautiful, Ira. Can we hang it in the hall?”
But I don’t want it in the hall. Someone might kick a ball at it or scribble on it. I want it in my room so I can remember the holiday forever.
Hortense said, “Well, I’ll just have to come up and look at it sometimes, to get a taste of the country.”
We had the eggs with toast and we told everyone about Martha’s toast soldiers. It was nice sitting at the table together but the more we told our stories the more it felt like they happened a long time ago. Silas must feel like that. He must feel like his stories happened a hundred years ago. Or in another lifetime.
When I saw Jimmy he said, “So you came back then?” and I said, “Yeah…” and this time I put lots of dots at the end of it.
I hope I never forget what Martha looked like or how lovely her garden is and what it felt like to stand under the willow or walk two miles to get eggs and go to sleep when all you can hear is animals in the woods.
The trouble with holidays is they make ordinary life feel even more ordinary.
Ashani left today. She went to live with her new family. It was all arranged while we were on holiday. I think that’s why she was sad when we came back. Probably she was happy-sad.
When she said goodbye she made funny faces and she kept tickling everyone and laughing. I picked her up and held her tight and she wrapped her legs round me like a monkey. I wished and wished I didn’t have to let her go. When she got in the car she was smiling and waving and sticking her tongue out of the window. But as the car drove away I couldn’t tell if she was smiling any more but I thought maybe she wasn’t and I felt awful.
Zac was annoying all day and I hated him but then I saw his eyes were red and I thought maybe he was upset because he liked Ashani too. Now everything feels like the sun’s gone in and it’s going to be cloudy forever.
I told Glenda about Ashani and how bad I feel now she’s gone. I haven’t seen her since we got back but I told her in my head. I keep looking out of the window in case she’s in the garden but she’s not there. Maybe she stayed at Martha’s.
Silas has his picture in the paper. He’s standing with some other people and they’re holding placards with STOP THE POLL TAX on. Some people are holding a sheet with CAN’T PAY, WON’T PAY and the sheet’s drooping on to heads of the people in the middle but they don’t seem to mind. Everyone’s smiling like they’re having a nice day out. It’s not a very good picture of Silas though. You can only tell it’s him because of his hair.
“You look like you’re wearing a wig,” Hortense said.
And he does. He looks like he’s in disguise, like he’s a spy or something.
Hortense stuck the picture on the kitchen board and somebody wrote, “Who is this man?” next to it.
We went back to school today. It’s my last year before I go to secondary school. Some of the new little kids were crying because they wanted to go home, and others were running around thinking they were really grown up when they looked really small and sweet in their tiny uniforms.
I told Amanda and Kaleigh about my holiday. I usually tell them I don’t like holidays but this time I told them about Martha and the chickens and the garden. They laughed when I told them about Zac pretending to be a dog in the stream, and for a moment I felt like a proper friend. I didn’t tell them about City Kids, Country Kids. I said Martha was our aunt! Now I’ll never be able to invite them to Skilly in case they find out.
We’ve got a new teacher called Miss MacDonald. She’s Scottish and she’s young and she’s got a really nice accent. I really like her already. She’s going to teach us French in case we marry someone French or just want to go there on holiday. And we’re going to do science and write lots of stories. It’s cheered me up having Miss MacDonald as my teacher.
We’ve got a postcard from Martha! It’s a picture of a chicken. She didn’t write much because there wasn’t much space but me and Zac know it off by heart. She said the house was quiet without us and it wasn’t as much fun collecting eggs on her own and she hoped we didn’t have to work too hard at school. At the end she put “Martha” and a squiggle that might have been a kiss but it might just have been a funny loop she does on the end of her name.
“Do you think we’ll go back?” Zac said.
I shook my head. “I expect she’ll take different children if she does it again.”
He looked sad so I said, “Maybe if we wait a couple of years we’ll get another turn.”
And he shouted, “A couple of years?!!”
After that he was really upset. Every time he saw me he said, “I hate you” and “You’re rubbish” and pushed past me. He was like that all day until he went to bed and then he said “Sorry” really quietly so I could only just hear. I’m going to stick the postcard on the wall next to his bed so he’ll see the chicken when he wakes up.
A new girl came to Skilly today. She’s called Pip. She’s ten but she looks eight. She’s moved into Ashani’s room but she’s completely different from Ashani. She’s small and thin and she wears a purple jumper that’s too big for her and her sleeves are all soggy and the wool’s come undone because she’s always chewing them.
She didn’t say anything at tea and she didn’t look at anyone. I tried to catch her eye but it was like she had a wall in front of her face. She looked sad sitting there looking at her wall. She didn’t eat. She just chewed her jumper.
Hortense took some food up to her room later. It’s against the rules to take food upstairs but if I was in charge I’d say the rules don’t matter because if Pip doesn’t eat she’ll starve to death. I’m going to try to make friends with her.
We’ve got a computer at school. Miss Campbell showed us. She said one day everyone will have one. It’s a big grey box with lots of wires and the screen lights up and all the letters are on a special board. When she was plugging it in she said, “Now, where’s the mouse?” and everyone looked at the floor in case a mouse ran up their legs. But she wasn’t looking for a real squeaky mouse. She was looking for a thing with buttons on.
It’s quite good because it’s got games but the best thing is it’s quieter than a typewriter. When you tap the letters they don’t make such a noise.
Glenda’s back. I’m sure she is. I keep seeing her out of the corner of my eye. I’m sure it’s her. I can feel her in our bedroom too. I just know she’s there. I showed her the chicken postcard but I didn’t tell her about Martha’s because she knows what that was like because she was there too. I’m so glad she’s come back.
These are the steps of all the places I’ve been since I could count. I always count the steps because then I know that whatever happens I only have to go that many steps down to get to the ground. And then I’ll be outside and I can look at the sky. It makes me feel better.
Our bedroom at Skilly 47 steps
Mrs Clanks’s office 2 steps
Martha’s studio 30 steps
Our room at Martha’s 14 steps
Brenda and Alf’s flat 32 steps
Petra’s flat 1 step
Our room at Alara’s 13 steps
Adam’s flat 28 steps
Our bedroom at the Grimbles’ 10 steps
Woman who was mean to us 17 steps
Nan in Greenwich 55 steps
Nan next to the garages 3 steps
Auntie with dyed blonde hair 18 steps
Auntie in Brixton 22 steps
The National Gallery 22 steps
Upstairs on London bus 8 steps
Boat on the Thames 12 steps
Dentist 4 steps
Pip’s in my class. She walks to school with me and Zac. Well, she doesn’t exactly walk with us, she walks behind. It’s a bit embarrassing in case anyone finds out she lives with us because I don’t tell people I’m a care kid if I can help it. But I don’t think I need
to worry because Pip doesn’t speak to anyone. She just sits at the front of the class and looks down, and at break she stands on her own in the playground and won’t play.
Amanda and Kaleigh tried to be friendly with her but she didn’t even look at them. She just chewed her sleeve. She wears her old jumper everywhere, even to school. She won’t take it off. She won’t even let Hortense wash it. Some people might think she’s spoilt but I think she’s sad.
Zac’s got a book from the library called Dog Facts for Dog Lovers. I don’t think I’m a dog lover because I wouldn’t have chosen that book but Zac is because he talks about dogs all the time and wishes he had one and sometimes he strokes the pictures.
He said, “Do you think our dog’s still alive?”
He meant the one in the photo.
I said, “I doubt it.”
He got annoyed and wanted to check so Hortense got out our Memory Book and we opened it at the photo and tried to work out what type our dog was because the book said how long dogs live depends on what kind they are.
This is some examples of how long some dogs live. How long they live is called their lifespan.
Beagles – 12 to 14 years
Bulldogs – 8 to 10 years
Boxers – 11 to 14 years
Chihuahuas – 15 years or more
Dachshunds – 12 to 14 years
German shepherds – 10 to 12 years
Golden retrievers – 10 to 12 years
Great Danes – 6 to 8 years
Labradors – 12 to 14 years
Little Bits of Sky Page 7
