When I told Silas he said, “Seize your moment, Ira, seize your moment.”
Everyone’s happy for us this time, even Jimmy. I expect because he knows we’ll come back. The only person who didn’t seem happy or sad or anything at all was Pip. She just stared at her wall.
We put up the Christmas tree today. Silas got the biggest one he could find. I thought he’d have to cut the top off to make it fit under the ceiling but it was OK. Jimmy helped him carry it in. They put it in a bucket of water even though it’s already dead. Water keeps it looking alive longer. It makes it think it’s still alive.
Hortense got out the decorations and we hung them on the tree. Pip was really happy. She couldn’t help it even though she doesn’t want to be happy ever again. She kept touching all the shiny things.
Sophia decorated the top of the tree because she’s the tallest apart from Jimmy and he didn’t want to help. He only wanted to carry it in. Her bit looked best because she didn’t put too many baubles on it. Hortense said she’s more sophisticated. That means she knows when to stop. Esther got one of her dolls and Hortense wrapped it in tinfoil and Sophia put it on the top like a fairy. There were so many baubles on the bottom you could hardly see the branches but when Hortense put the fairy lights on it all looked lovely. We stood in the dark and stared at it for ages. It felt like magic.
Jimmy keeps disappearing. He’s too big to lock in a cupboard so I think he just goes out. He doesn’t want to be at Skilly any more. He wants to be grown up. He’s so tall his ankles always stick out of his trousers and he’s got spots so I think he feels bad on the outside now as well as on the inside. He might be trying to find his family or he might just want to get away from us.
Christmas makes care kids feel bad because it reminds us we haven’t got a family and other kids have. All the adverts have perfect families laughing and pulling crackers and eating toffees their granddads gave them. Hortense says they’re not real families at all, they’re just actors, but they still look happier than care kids. I don’t feel sad at Christmas though because all my Christmases have been in care so I don’t know any different. At least the ones I remember. But Jimmy feels sad. Jimmy doesn’t like Christmas at all.
I asked if he’d play with us today but he shook his head and didn’t even look at me. Then he went out. He didn’t come back until we were going to bed. Mrs Clanks told him off and Silas said, “Come on, lad,” and Hortense gave him a hug and made him some supper because he hadn’t eaten anything.
Hortense says teenagers need family more than anyone else, which is a shame because teenagers are the least lovely sort of kid.
Today I got coloured pencils, a sketchbook, felt-tip pens and a slap bracelet, which is what everyone’s got at school. We all got slap bracelets. Mine’s green, Zac’s is red, Esther’s is yellow. They look like rulers but when you slap them on your wrist they turn into bracelets. I also got marbles and a little teapot that opens up into a house. There’s a bedroom inside with two tiny beds and a kitchen with a cooker and a sink and a table and a toilet and there are three little badgers – mum, dad and baby. Mum badger’s wearing an apron and Dad badger’s wearing dungarees. The baby’s wearing a T-shirt and shorts. I wanted to make the dad wear the apron and the mum wear the dungarees but the clothes are stuck on. It doesn’t matter though. I still love it.
Zac got the same as me but instead of the sketchbook and the teapot he got a bow and arrow and a Batman model. He’s really happy. He’s wanted a Batman for ages. Esther got yellow plastic shoes and a bag, and Miles got a Game Boy and some tools, and Jimmy got a portable CD player. It’s got plugs he puts in his ears so he can walk around and listen to his music and we can’t hear it and he can’t hear us. It’s good because he doesn’t like dance music any more. He likes bands that scream because that’s how he feels inside. Sophia got a CD player too and Milap got a magic kit and Harit got a Batman like Zac. Pip got a new jumper but I don’t think she’ll wear it. I think she’ll just keep wearing her old one. She also got a craft kit and lots of sequins and tinsel because Hortense saw how much she loved the shiny things when we did the tree.
At dinner we had red napkins and gold crackers. The little prizes kept falling on the floor. We had to get under the table to look for them. It was very funny. Zac got a plastic ring he didn’t want and I got a key ring. He wanted to swap but I wouldn’t. I’m going to keep the key ring for when I’ve got my own door key, even if I have to wait until I’m grown up. Hortense got a fluffy hair clip she put in her hair and Silas was wearing a paper hat that kept slipping over his eyes. Mrs Clanks came too. She was wearing a ribbon that looked like holly with two red berries.
I always think Christmas dinner is the best one I ever had and this year’s the same. I gave my stuffing to Silas because he loves it and I hate it but I had seconds of everything else. Milap and Harit were the only ones who didn’t eat. They just pushed their food around their plates because they wished they were with their mum and dad and that made them lose their appetites. We read jokes from the crackers to cheer them up but most weren’t very funny. The best ones were:
Why did the raisin go out with a strawberry?
Because it couldn’t find a date.
What do you get if you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
Glenda came to Christmas dinner too but no one knew except me. They couldn’t see her. She didn’t sit at the table because she couldn’t eat anything but she kept popping up all over the place.
After dinner I gave Hortense and Silas some drawings I did in the garden. I gave Mrs Clanks a drawing too, because since she said sorry for telling me off about my story I’ve thought of her a bit differently. And when I gave it to her she gave me a kiss. Zac had a big smirk on his face.
I gave Zac a box to keep dead insects and stuff in. I made it out of a box I covered and painted a hen on. The hen looks like a dog but he likes it. He loves dogs anyway. He gave me peppermint creams he made with icing sugar and green colouring and mint flavour. The first one was nice but the second one tasted like toothpaste.
We’ve come back to Martha’s! We came on the train with Mrs Clanks and we weren’t even nervous. We just felt happy. Martha was waiting on the platform. She was wearing a fluffy green coat and orange earmuffs and big boots. I had to stop myself running to her in case I looked too keen and embarrassed myself. When she came up to us she gave a little bow.
“Ira, Zac,” she said.
She was smiling.
Mrs Clanks didn’t come to the house this time. She chatted to Martha and then she waited for the next train back to London. When we went she said, “Have fun.”
On the way to the house Martha said, “I was going to get a Christmas tree this year but I wasn’t able to so I do apologise. You’ll see why when we get there.”
I tried to think why she couldn’t get a tree. I wondered if she’d lost her decorations. I even thought maybe her roof had fallen in because the house must be very old but when we arrived the roof looked fine.
But when we got out of the car I heard barking and when Martha opened the door a puppy jumped out. Me and Zac screamed when we saw her and she jumped all over us and licked our faces. She’s brown and white with floppy ears and big black eyes like marbles and she’s a spaniel and she’s four months old and she’s Martha’s. And she’s the most beautiful puppy I’ve ever seen.
When Zac saw her he was like a puppy too, jumping up and down and rolling on the floor. I felt all soft inside. I kept saying, “Oooh.”
“She’s called Dash,” Martha said.
“Because she dashes?” I said.
Martha nodded. “She doesn’t stop. She’s wearing me out. I’m glad you two are here.”
Me and Zac played in the garden with Dash all afternoon. It was really cold and she was wearing a little tartan coat that buttoned up under her tummy. Martha said it’s just for this winter as she’s a puppy. I don’t know if she’s Scottish but it suited her anyway. She’s so funny. There�
��s an icicle hanging off the tap in the garden where the water drips. She kept licking it and yelping. She wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t work out why the water was hard.
Martha gave me and Zac some earmuffs like hers. Mine are purple and Zac’s are blue. Zac didn’t want to put his on because they’re very big and fluffy but then his ears got cold so he had to. I had to try not to laugh.
Dash makes even more mess than we did when we first came to Martha’s. She digs up the plants and breaks things and she did a wee on the kitchen floor. Martha keeps mopping up after her.
I think about her all the time. She reminds me of the dog in our photo because even though she’s completely different she’s still a dog.
Our black dog compared to Dash:
Our dog
Big
Black
Probably not a puppy
Thin legs
Wet nose
Jumping
Good with children (because you wouldn’t put a big black dog on a chair with two small children if he wasn’t)
Dash
Small
Brown and white
Puppy
Short legs
Wet nose
Jumping
Good with children
Martha took some photos of us playing with Dash. She’s going to send them off to be developed tomorrow so they should come back soon and then she’ll send us the best ones. I can’t wait to see them. I hope Zac wasn’t moving.
Later when I opened the wardrobe in our room my green dress was still hanging next to the leaf wallpaper. I took it downstairs when Martha wasn’t looking and put it in Dash’s basket under her blanket. Now it’s extra comfy.
It’s New Year’s Eve already! The whole week’s nearly gone.
Martha said, “Time’s gone in a flash,” and it feels like that. Like it was a firework, lovely for a moment and then gone. It’s New Year’s Day tomorrow and after that we have to go back to Skilly.
We’ve taught Dash loads of tricks. If we throw a stick and shout “Fetch” she’ll bring it back and when we say “Sit” she sits up and holds her paws out. Zac taught her how to run along next to his ankles. When he slows down she slows down and when he goes fast she goes fast too.
She falls asleep on my lap sometimes and I have to sit very still because I don’t want to disturb her. It’s like when Silas had the snake in his sleeping bag except it feels really, really nice. She’s not allowed upstairs but in the morning she barks until we come down. She’s always awake before us. It’s like she waits for us all night.
I’ve done an abstract painting, which is a painting about feelings. Martha left all my paint names stuck on the tubes so it’s easy to remember which colour is which. My painting’s got lots of greens and blues in it. I did it when I was happy so it’s about being happy. Martha kept looking at it and then she cleared a space for it on the mantelpiece to keep it safe. She said she’d wrap it up really well so I can take it back to Skilly but I said it was my Christmas present for her.
When I said that her mouth went funny and she fiddled with her glasses as if they were about to fall off, even though she had her chain. Then she said, “Well, in that case you’ll have to come back and do another one.”
So we’re coming back at Easter!!!
Today’s the first day of the first month of the first year of the 1990s! It’s a whole new decade. I was awake when the New Year happened. Nothing really changes that you can see but it felt different.
Martha said if we were still awake at midnight we could go downstairs. Zac’s eyes just flopped shut as soon as he got into bed. He couldn’t stop them. I kept myself awake by thinking about my impossible dreams.
One of my impossible dreams is to be an astronaut so I can look at the world from a long way away, like from the moon. The world must look beautiful from far away when you can’t see all the things that go wrong. You can just see the blue sea and the mountains and the trees and the grass. Another impossible dream is to fly to the top of the willow and sit with the doves. Another is to go back to when Glenda was a little girl and play on the bombsite with her. Another is to make things happen by thinking about them like Matilda does. I’ve got loads of other impossible dreams but those are my favourites and I’ve got ordinary dreams too, like going in a black cab or eating fish and chips on a beach.
When it was very late Martha put her head round the door.
“Still awake?” she whispered.
She let me borrow her soft fluffy yellow dressing gown. Esther would love it. Then she made some hot chocolate and we sat on the sofa and drank it and watched TV. The programme showed what was happening in different places in the world. There was a big party at the Berlin Wall. Thousands of people were there, sitting on the wall and waving flags, and there were fireworks and other people were still pulling the wall apart and smashing it because it goes on for miles. Some people were crying and some were dancing and some were looking for their relatives but there were too many people so I don’t think they could have found them. Everyone looked like they were in a dream. Like a day had come they never imagined.
Martha said, “This is one New Year they’ll never forget.”
I thought, this is one I’ll never forget too.
After that the programme showed a big crowd of people in Trafalgar Square in London. They were singing and sitting on the lions and splashing in the fountains even though it was really cold. I couldn’t see any pigeons but I think they’d gone up into the tall buildings to keep away from the noise. They were probably looking down in case anyone dropped some food. Then it showed a party in Scotland with people in kilts singing and playing bagpipes. Miss MacDonald might have been there but I couldn’t see her. Scottish people love New Year. They organise the parties.
When it was ten seconds until midnight there was a countdown. It was like when a rocket goes to the moon. Everyone counted ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four right down to zero. Me and Martha joined in for three, two, one and when it reached zero they all cheered and kissed each other and Martha gave me a hug.
“Happy New Year, Ira,” she said.
It’s the best New Year I’ve ever had. I’m going to remember it for all the New Years in the future when I’m on my own or just with Zac and for all the other decades when I’m old and it’s even the next century. At the Scottish party everyone sang a song called “Auld Lang Syne”, which is about old friends, and I thought about everyone at Skilly and Zac sleeping upstairs and I felt really happy.
When I came back to bed I looked out of the window and I saw Glenda skipping round the willow under the stars.
I hope the 1990s will be better for me and Zac. I hope it’ll be like when the Berlin Wall came down and we’ll get to see our mum and everyone will be happy.
And when we get to the end of this decade I’ll be twenty-one. And even if we don’t meet our mum it won’t matter so much because we won’t be care kids any more. We’ll be grown up. And there’ll be robots to do all the jobs and I might be able to fly or go to the moon and my dreams might not be impossible.
Martha’s New Year’s resolution is to worry less. She says she spends too much time worrying and it doesn’t help. I feel like that about crying. That’s why I don’t do it any more.
I’ve made three resolutions. I could have made ten but I wouldn’t be able to remember them all. My first resolution is the same as Martha’s. Second, I’m also going to do more drawing so I get really good, and third, I’m going to concentrate more at school so Mrs Clanks doesn’t tell me off.
Zac said his resolution was to eat more sweets.
I said, “That’s not what New Year’s resolutions mean – they’re supposed to be about being a better person.”
So then he said, “OK, my resolution is to keep my feet off the chairs.”
I said, “I bet you can’t do it even for one day.”
Then he said, “I have got a real New Year’s resolution but I’m not telling you what it is.”
We’ve haven’t even been back at Skilly for one week but everything’s horrible already. Jimmy’s disappeared. No one knows where he is. He went out yesterday but he didn’t go to school and he didn’t tell anyone where he was going and he hasn’t come back. He was out all night. Silas went looking for him and every time the phone rings Hortense grabs it and then she looks upset because it’s not Jimmy.
Silas and Hortense really like Jimmy. They probably even love him. He helps Silas in the garden and they chat when they’re working and Hortense has known him since he was a little boy. Jimmy really is the old hand at Skilly. Even Mrs Clanks looks worried. I hope they find him soon. Tea tasted horrible today, like all Hortense’s worry had got into it.
Zac said, “Where would he go at night?” but I don’t know the answer. It makes me afraid to think of Jimmy out all night. I wonder if he slept on the pavement or if he just walked around. I hope he’s got some money so he can phone Silas if he needs help.
Zac thinks he’s been kidnapped but I don’t think so because he hasn’t got anyone to pay money to get him back so he’s not worth kidnapping. People only kidnap rich kids. Otherwise it’s not worth it.
Jimmy’s back but he isn’t happy to be here. He’s angry. He’s got dark lines under his eyes so I don’t think he’s had any sleep. Silas brought him back when we were having breakfast. Hortense said not to ask Jimmy anything so when he came in everyone just said “Hi” like he hadn’t been away at all. Except for Hortense. She put her arm round him. Usually Jimmy loves food but he didn’t eat anything. He didn’t even pick up his knife and fork. He’s got a wall up in front of him now, like Pip.
Little Bits of Sky Page 9
