by Holly Jaymes
Sawyer closed his mouth around my right nipple and sucked on it lightly. With his head stuck to my breasts, I weaved my fingers into his sandy blond perfect hair. I pressed my eyes closed to entirely give in to the feelings coursing through my veins. I was definitely going to explode.
Just as my knees buckled, moments before I would have fallen to the ground, Sawyer wrapped his arms around me, lifting me up in his arms.
“What…” I tried to say, but he hushed me, pressing a finger to my lips while he carried me.
“Don’t say anything, Fay, just relax,” he spoke gently. I obeyed his command. I would have done anything he asked me to do.
He carried me to his bed, and as we tumbled into it together. The rest of our clothes came off. I saw the flash of his cock between his legs before he had leaped on top of me, pressing my body into the soft, springy mattress with his bulky weight.
I felt his cock throb against the inside of my thigh now, and I gasped. He was well hung, just like I’d predicted, and the thought of him entering me made me soaking wet.
He forced my legs apart, while his mouth trailed down the center of my breasts, and down my torso, till he was nibbling the skin on my belly. His fingers found my pussy, and I arched my back, rolling my hips into him. I still couldn’t believe how hot he was, and how my body was reacting to him.
His fingers started rubbing my folds, the small throbbing mound of my clit, that sensitive spot that got me going and I knew that my orgasm wasn’t far behind. He built me up to it, slowly and in a rhythmic lulling way. While his mouth ravaged the rest of my body, his fingers slipped in and out of my pussy, rubbed my clit till I knew I couldn’t take it anymore.
I grabbed his shoulders, trying to direct his attention to my face again. Sawyer looked up at me with his piercing green eyes.
“Fuck me,” I said, commanding him. A deliciously handsome smile spread on his face.
“Your wish is my command, madam,” he said. I felt him reach for his cock. Slowly, he straightened himself up, grabbing my hips and pulling me down to the edge of the bed.
I was shuddering for him, staring at the way he stroked his big cock threateningly at me. I licked my lips in anticipation as he placed one hand on my belly. His long thick fingers splayed on my stomach. I could feel the pressure of it. He was guiding his cock towards my pussy, gently grazing my folds with the tip first, just to give me a taster.
I could feel the smoothness of his cock and the power in the width and length of him. Then, he was pushing my folds aside. He was entering me. I moaned with relief.
My eyes rolled back in my head, and I arched my hips up, while Sawyer’s cock slid into me. Inch by inch, he was filling me up. I hadn’t slept with someone in several months, close to a year, and I knew my pussy was tight and thirsty for him.
I could feel my juices seeping out, while his cock thrust deeper into me. Then, with the same motion, he pulled himself out while I gasped. Sawyer was smiling when I looked at him. He was pleased with how desperate I was for him. Then he rammed himself into me again. I cried out when he filled me, and I clutched the bedsheets in both hands.
The bed was shaking now, creaking as he started pounding me. I could see his neck growing red. I loved the way he was gritting his teeth as he thrust in and out of me. He was like a machine, he could have kept going the whole night.
The friction set my body tingling. My toes curled as I felt him bury himself deep inside me. I couldn’t hold back the orgasm anymore, I came with a fury.
My body shook as I cried out, pressing my eyes closed as my orgasm took over. I wasn’t paying attention to Sawyer anymore. All I could feel was his cock in my pussy and how liberating that felt.
I heard him grunt before he shook, his cock vibrated inside me, and I felt the smooth shooting release of his cum. He was emptying himself into me. His seed was getting buried deep inside me as the thought occurred to me that I hadn’t been on the pill for a year. We weren’t using protection.
My eyes flew open. I stared at him. Then panic gripped my limbs making my orgasm fade quickly. He was still going. He was still ramming his cock into me so that the last drop of his seed buried deep inside me.
I watched him, as the darkness started fading from his face. I moved when he was done, causing his cock to quickly slip out of me. Sawyer had a grin on his face, a smile of satisfaction.
I bunched up the bedsheets and pulled them up over my body, covering my breasts.
“There’s no use for that now, Fay,” he said and stepped forward to reach for them. I yanked myself away from him, jumping out of bed to start collecting my clothes.
I picked up my jeans and panties and then started rushing out to the living room. Sawyer followed me.
“What’s wrong?” I heard him say, while I started putting on my clothes. I kept my back firmly turned to him. I couldn’t believe it. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t ask for a condom. I didn’t even think of protection. And with him! The worst candidate of a man that I could think of!
“Fay, what’s going on?” I felt his warm hand on my shoulder. I flipped around to him, raging like a bull.
“Just…stay away from me!” I hissed.
His brows were crossed, he looked confused.
“You asked for this. You wanted this!” he retorted.
I had put my clothes back on now, and I ran a hand through my hair.
“Yes, I know what happened. You don’t need to remind me!” I snapped, going in search of my bag.
Sawyer was still naked, his cock still throbbing between his legs. He was the kind of man who could walk around naked anywhere without offending anyone. He was utterly confident in himself.
“So, what is the problem?” he asked. I found my purse and strung it on my shoulder.
“Regret. That is the problem. I am angry with myself, okay? This has nothing to do with you,” I said, crossing my arms over my breasts. I was lying because this had everything to do with him.
“Angry because you slept with me?” he asked. I gritted my teeth, keeping my head held firmly up.
“I’ve done exactly what I was mocking the other women for, the ones who flock around you like starved pigeons. The ones who fall for…” I snapped, my eyes roaming over his chiseled muscular body. “…for all this!”
Sawyer’s face was grim. He wasn’t finding me funny anymore. I could see that he was finally beginning to take offense. He had enough of me and my attitude which was probably for the best. I didn’t want him chasing me. I wasn’t playing hard to get. I wanted us to stay away from each other. Besides, he’d got me already which meant that he was probably beginning to lose interest.
I watched him as he ran a hand through his thick blond hair.
“I think you have some very strong opinions on me, based on nothing,” he said. I glared at him.
“My opinions are based on what I see. They are based on the way you behave in front of the camera; how willing you are to accumulate praise for your charm and good looks. If you were a movie star, this would be normal. But you’re a doctor. You are part of a noble profession. You should be out there, saving lives, not attending talk shows and seducing women!” I knew I was being mean, but I couldn’t control myself. I was angry with myself and with him, but mostly myself. And tonight, Sawyer was the perfect punching bag.
“You are free to leave whenever you want, Fay. Or if you think you can calm down, we can sit down and discuss your grievances,” he said.
I shook my head, my nostrils were flared. I didn’t want to spend one more second in his company. I was ashamed of myself, ashamed of my behavior. I had always believed I was better than this. I knew that I was stronger than falling for a man’s good looks and his sexy charm. I knew that I was smarter than having sex with a stranger without protection.
“I have to go. I hope you have a scintillating life!” I snapped and with that, I whipped around from him and walked to the front door. The elevator arrived within moments. I stepped in.
Sawyer hadn’t come to the door to see me off, which was expected. I hoped that I had ensured that he would never want to see me again.
I just wanted to forget about him as quickly as possible and go back to being the prudish, intensely opinionated Fay Woods that I knew myself to be.
As the elevator swooshed down to the lobby of Sawyer’s luxurious apartment building, I pressed my eyes closed and tried to forgive myself for what I had done.
Sawyer
Three Months Later
I came out of the operation room, three hours after I had gone in. I could feel the numbness on my shoulders from staying in one position for that long. Usually, I felt the physical effects of a surgery like that only after it was done. During the actual operation, my eyes were like a hawk’s. I had the steadiest hands in the state.
“Doctor Barnhart, the Leeward family is in your office,” my secretary came running up to me as I was washing my hands. I racked my brain for that name. It sounded familiar.
“Sir, you operated on Mrs. Leeward a few months ago,” she reminded me.
“Oh, yeah, of course. Is everything okay?” I asked, rushing past her towards the office. I didn’t wait to hear her response.
I pushed open the door to find the entire Leeward family waiting inside for me. Mrs. Leeward was sitting on a chair across from the desk. Her young son’s hands were on her shoulders. She had a bright, healthy spark in her eyes. Her husband and their other son were standing behind her, all smiles when I walked in.
“Mrs. Leeward! You gave me a scare there. I thought something had happened,” I said, walking towards my desk.
“Sorry, Doctor Barnhart, for barging in like this. We were in the city, and we knew that we couldn’t leave without dropping in to say hi,” her husband said.
“Please, sit down,” I told them, as I took my own seat across from them.
“I’m glad you dropped by, I’ll check my schedule and see if I can fit you in for a quick check-up in the next few hours,” I said. Mrs. Leeward was shaking her head.
“You don’t need to do that, Doctor Barnhart, I feel fine. We have an appointment scheduled for next month anyway, I’ll come in then. Today, I just wanted you to meet my boys. We all wanted to come in and thank you for the miracle you performed on me,” Mrs. Leeward looked emotional as she sat there.
I smiled at them.
“Hello, boys,” I said, extending a hand towards the teenagers who shook it one by one.
“Doctor, you’ve inspired Mac, here, to become a doctor. He says that he wants to be a heart surgeon just like Doctor Barnhart who saved his mother’s life,” Mr. Leeward continued. I smiled at the boy.
“I’m glad to hear it. Hit me up in a few years when you’re looking to apply to Med Schools. I’ll be happy to give you any advice you need,” I said. The boy was smiling from ear to ear.
“Doctor, I don’t know how to thank you. I’m not sure if any words are enough. Every other cardiologist we went to, refused to operate on me. It was too risky they said, and yet, you did it. You saved my life,” Mrs. Leeward sniffled hard into a handkerchief. Her husband came up to stroke her back gently.
I gulped, nodding my head. Three months ago, praises like this would have gone straight to my head. I lived for the recognition. It was like little adrenaline kicks to my system.
Now, ever since I met Fay, and after the things she had hurled at me, these kinds of words made me self-conscious.
“It was my job, Mrs. Leeward. It was my pleasure to help you,” I told her. She shook her head.
“Doctor, you were brave. You’re the best at your job. I can’t thank you enough,” she continued. I had a flash of an image of Fay in the room with us. I wished she was here. I wanted her to see the real difference I made to real people’s lives. I knew she misunderstood me. She had only seen my casual exterior. But, more importantly, why did I care?
“We have something for you, Doctor,” her husband bent down to lift up a huge gift basket which he then placed on my desk. I stood up from my chair.
“I really cannot accept that,” I protested.
“We’re just going to leave it here. There are some of Mary’s homemade cookies in there too, and two tickets to Friday night’s game,” he said and started backing away from the basket.
“I am so happy that you’re doing well, Mrs. Leeward and I’m glad you dropped by, but I really cannot accept it,” I said, pushing the basket away with my hands.
“Doctor please, allow us to feel like we are able to return your good deed in some way. You saved my life! These are just some cookies and chutneys and two measly tickets, please,” Mrs. Leeward’s voice cracked as she stared into my eyes pleadingly.
I gulped and forced a grin on my face.
“I can’t wait to try the cookies,” I told her and pulled the basket to myself.
We said our goodbyes and I saw the Leeward family off at the door. When I returned to my desk, I sat down and stared at the finely wrapped basket for several moments.
Did other doctors receive these kinds of gifts and praises? Other doctors definitely didn’t sleep with the daughters and nieces of their patients. I had never thought about the morality of my actions before, and now, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I didn’t know whether to blame Fay or thank her. Had she unknowingly made me a better person by making me consider my own actions and behavior or had she changed me into someone who wasn’t fun anymore? I got into medicine to help people, but I had every intention of having fun along the way. But now, every decision I made in my personal life, I was asking myself what Fay would have to say about it. That annoyed me.
Fay
I woke up in bed, with the intense queasy feeling in my stomach that I was going to throw up.
I threw the covers off of me and ran to the bathroom, and I knelt down on the floor, allowing myself to get sick. I was panting by the time I finished. I straightened up, facing myself in the mirror in the late morning light.
My cheeks looked pale, and my eyes looked bright, a strange contrast in appearance. I knew I was late for work already, but today, I was feeling too tired to care.
I looked down at my stomach, which was still flat enough. I hadn’t started to show yet, which was a good thing, since nobody at the studios, not even Susan knew that I was three months pregnant.
I ran a hand listlessly through my dark hair, angling my face on each side to peer into the mirror. I was wondering if any other signs might give away that I was expecting.
Nobody knew that I had gone to Sawyer Barnhart’s apartment that night. Nobody at the studio knew that we had slept together. It was our little secret, just between Sawyer and me. Now I had another secret to keep. The secret that I was carrying his child.
I stroked my stomach, feeling my heart fill up with love for the little thing that was growing inside me.
When I first found out, I was already seven weeks pregnant. I had been sick every morning for a week before I eventually went and took a pregnancy test. From the moment the tests confirmed the truth I felt different. I could feel the presence of another human inside my body. I hadn’t thought about motherhood before, and now suddenly, I felt like I was ready for it. I was ready even though I knew I was going to have to be a single mother.
I walked back to my bed. I hadn’t cleaned up the mess in the room for several days. I was just low on energy these days. I wasn’t sure if I was doing anything right. I hadn’t gone to my gynecologist yet, and I knew I needed to. Three months was pretty far along in the pregnancy to go without visiting a doctor.
I couldn’t build up the courage to go to her. Doctor Roberts’ office was at St. Xavier’s Hospital, the same one where Sawyer worked. I did not want to create a situation where I might bump into him again. I had successfully avoided seeing or bumping into him for three months now. I wanted to keep it that way.
I knew I could have gone to a different gynecologist in the city, but I had been going to Doctor Roberts for years. She knew my m
edical history, and I trusted her. Now, at this crucial stage, when I was about to give birth to a child, I didn’t know if I could put my faith in any other doctor but her.
But going to visit her, also meant that there was a possibility of seeing Sawyer. I wasn’t sure if he would want to speak to me or if he would even recognize or remember me. I was scared there were too many variables for me to take a chance
I was lying in bed, thinking, with my hand on my belly when my phone rang. I let it ring out until I checked to see that there were several missed calls and texts from Susan. She was mad at me for being this late. She wanted to know when I would get in.
I was afraid to tell her about being pregnant because I thought that she would not empathize and I would lose my job. She had no time for people who couldn’t perform well. I was going to have to raise this child on my own and Susan would not like it.
I couldn’t afford to lose my job right now. I had dreams of making documentaries and taking career risks, but I was starting to feel like they were no longer possible. It wouldn't be possible when I had an extra mouth to feed, not when I was also responsible for another human being. I needed job security, and I needed to keep this job. I knew for sure wouldn’t be happening if Susan found out that I’d gone and gotten myself knocked up.
My phone rang again. I sat up in bed, rocking myself nervously. I was going to have to force myself to get ready now, to rush to the studio and apologize to Susan profusely, making up some excuse. I'd promise her that this would not happen again.
But that promise would be false. I knew that it would happen again. I knew that it would happen several times over the next six months and even more often after the baby was born.
I already loved this child, but it was changing my life. Being a single mother wasn’t going to be easy, but what other option did I have? I had made a bad decision. I had slept with someone without thinking of the consequences. I had slept with a man who I didn’t even like, just because he was hot as Hell. I had nobody else to blame but myself.
