by Al K. Line
"This is getting weird, I'm going right off the funfair," said Kyle, really wishing he had one of the guns stashed in the bus. He hefted his mace, the smooth and well oiled shaft giving comfort. Ven reached to her left hip and kept a hand on the hilt of her sword, ready to spill blood in an instant if needed. Al raised his arms wide, ready to give a deadly embrace to anything that dared to attack. Bos Bos' hackles were raised high, making him look pretty damn scary now he had shed more fat that he personally would have liked to retain for warmth now winter was setting in.
Then Al's worst nightmare came true.
Clowns.
Clowns in all directions.
Clowns bearing down on him, ready to get him and do unspeakably evil 'clowny' things to him that he knew would just be awful and really 'clowny' in nature. There would probably be squeaking of shoes and flowers that squirted water involved as well.
Al began to freak out. Big time. Really, really big time.
Nobody had see him in this kind of a state before. It was scary and sad to witness. The darker side of coping with autism became all too real.
"Clowns, clowns, clowns everywhere. They now coming for Al to be getting him, doing evil, and the feets will be kicking me, and the evil smilings, evil smilings of bad person clowns, coming, noses, red noses being honking and—"
"Shit," said Kyle, staring at Ven, both really concerned. "Al, Al calm down dude, we need to stay focused."
Everything was happening too fast, nobody knew what was going on. Al was tearing around wildly, running at the mirrors, trying to hit any that didn't have the reflection of a clown in them, trying to get away from the deadly images that were closing in on him from all sides.
Ven and Kyle were at a loss as to what was happening. It wasn't a zombie clown was it? And where the bloody hell was it anyway?
Mirrors crashed to the ground, the plastic buckling and rippling where it lay, throwing up even weirder misshapen reflections. Al crashed into more, knocking them over, until they were suddenly confronted with the source of all the horror — a clown stood in front of them all, staring around in fear at the chaos, and the sight of a six foot seven inch man swinging randomly with huge arms, arms perilously close, muttering to himself wildly.
"What's going on here? What do you think you're doing," said the clown, waving around at the destruction.
"What are we doing? What the hell do you think you are doing? Look what you did," said Ven, pointing at Al.
Kyle went over to Al, trying to calm him down, but he was beside himself, and wouldn't open his eyes.
"I'm part of the experience," said the clown. "I come in and move the walls and stand around making people wonder where the clown is. Stupid job but it means I get to stay at the fair rather than be out there in the world on my own." He was starting to look a little worried.
Suddenly Al opened his eyes, they were red raw with worry, he was panting heavily, his terror and hysteria verging on making him collapse in a heap. Without warning Al dove at the clown, using all his courage to defend himself from evil 'clowny' horror that was emanating from the big-footed devil.
They went down in a flurry of fists and over-sized feet, purple wig flying off the head of the man — screaming for Al to get off him and leave him alone. Kyle grabbed Al, shouting at him to calm down, and managed to cover the face of the clown with his jacket. Bos Bos chose this minute to start ripping at the clown's big feet, trying to bite down on some flesh, unable to understand why there were no toes beneath the floppy shoes, so gave up and just barked incessantly instead, waking Tomas and adding to the mayhem.
"Stay still," said Kyle to the clown. "If he can't see your face he might chill out in a minute." The clown froze, anything to get the giant off him.
Al finally relaxed a little, eventually he rolled over whimpering, pulling himself into a fetal position and muttering about evil red noses and big wobbly feet under his breath. Bos Bos stopped barking once the pair were separated, and Tomas quietened down, annoyed that his sleep had been so rudely interrupted.
"You lot are fucking mental, you know that?" said the clown, getting to his feet, throwing Kyle's jacket at him and retreating backwards, warily watching Al as he did so. "Really fucking mental." He disappeared out of sight, leaving the way open for them to escape the reflective clown infested hell Al had found himself in.
"I told you I didn't like the clowns," said Al. "They are being the scariest things, the big wobbly feet are evil, and..."
"Ssh, ssh, it's alright Al," said Ven. "Calm down, he's gone now. But it was just a man with a costume and make-up on, there aren't actual real clowns you know." She eyed Kyle despairingly, not knowing how to cope with Al's breakdown over bad costumes and dodgy make-up, when he could cope fine dealing with undead hordes at every turn.
"I know they are mens wearing the make-up Ven," panted Al, "and it is actually meaning they are being the clown on purpose. That is what is bad about the clowns. They are putting on a red nose and make-up to have the giant evil smile, and wearing the floppy huge shoes for feet to make the walking evil..."
It took a while.
On the way out Ven apologized to the girl, trying to explain about the clowns and Al's condition. She was very understanding, still in awe of the big guy, and was very sympathetic to what had happened, actually apologizing for not mentioning the extra bit of clown fun included in the price of admission.
They went for a burger, and Al slowly came back to his senses once he had downed his second one and had a nice fizzy drink.
Ven made a mental note to absolutely not let Al meet another clown. She wondered what it was that sent him into such terror at the sight of a man in a crap costume and some badly applied make-up.
Must be the shoes. They are pretty stupid.
Time to Leave
"Guys, I really think that we should be going. There is something definitely wrong about this whole place. It's beginning to freak me right out," said Ven, watching the diminishing groups of people milling about, eating, a few still playing games at the remaining open stalls.
"What do you mean? Seems fine to me," said Kyle.
"Not if you really look. There are a lot of men here, most are definitely looking at me funny. They are checking you two out too. I think they may want to, you know..."
"What will they be wanting to do?" asked Al, not understanding. Now calm after food, drink, and the promise of no more clown based entertainment.
"Rape me," whispered Ven, freaking herself out even more merely by saying the words.
Al went wide-eyed, instantly alert and ready to kick some serious ass if anyone came anywhere near them.
"Okay, calm down Al," said Kyle. "Look, if you are feeling weird then let's go. It's been a good day and I don't want to stay here near dusk anyway. I think we would be bartering the bus for a sausage if we stayed for too much longer." Kyle gave Al a pointed look, pretty sure Al would do exactly that if he had to make a choice. "And the little fella is pretty tired anyway, look at him." Kyle nodded down at Tomas, who had fallen asleep in his arms. The little man was dozing on and off, bags under his eyes showing that he really needed to have a proper lie down and a good long rejuvenating sleep. Kyle didn't admit it but he was getting rather tired himself as well. Tomas was getting a bit too heavy to be carried around for hours at a time. It was taking its toll on the young dad, even with his new-found muscle from leading a much harder life the past few months.
They picked up their things and made their way back towards the bus. The elephant was slightly muddy from the clown encounter, but miraculously the fish in its plastic bag seemed unawares of the recent events.
Ven looked around at the various groups of people. There were unquestionably some pretty unsavory sorts at the fair. The people running the stalls and rides seemed alright, if a little on the rough side, but they didn't give her bad vibes. And there were maybe ten or fifteen people that appeared just like them, along for some fun, rather astonished that there really was a fair.
"Look," whispered Ven again. "See that couple about to leave? The man and the woman? Now look at the group of men over there, they are leaving too."
"I see it," said Kyle. "You think they are following them? Maybe to nick their stuff or something?"
"I don't know, maybe. Or maybe something worse."
"Maybe they are cannibals," offered Al.
"Don't be daft," said Ven, not even sounding convincing to herself. She was definitely getting freaked out now. "What if they want to eat them and what if we are next," she blurted out.
"Calm down Ven, don't be daft, they aren't going to eat people. Are they?" Now Kyle was freaked out too.
Al was already on the move, silently waving the others forward, there was no way he was going to be eaten, he was the one that did the eating.
"C'mon Bos Bos," said Kyle, tugging on the lead as they made their way back to the bus.
Bos Bos was loathe to leave, being convinced that at some point someone somewhere would have to drop a hotdog and he could save it from a muddy fate if he waited long enough. Reluctantly he trotted along with Kyle, maybe he would be given something nice on the bus for being such a good boy today?
They warily began marching toward the bus and parking area. There were still a few other vehicles there, but a number of them had left just as the couple did. It was obvious that there was something not quite right. Ven wouldn't be happy until they were back on the bus — well away from the fun of the fair.
She caught something out of the corner of her eye, a quick flash of movement. A head turning away. As she turned to get a better look recognition hit her, but she couldn't figure out exactly who it was that she recognized. Who did she know that had a bald head? There had been so many people encountered these past few months, yet she was sure this was someone she should definitely remember.
Is it him? No, it can't be. Not walking around the bloody fair.
"Kyle, look over there," she said.
Kyle turned in the direction Ven was signaling with a nod of her head. The man pulled a dark hoodie up tight over a shaved head, took one more furtive glance at them, then disappeared behind a large van, a handwritten sign telling of the wonders of the fair.
"No fucking way, it can't be him can it?" said an incredulous Kyle.
"You think it's him too then? The man wearing the skirt where we got the guns and stuff, where we met Joe and Nopad. What the hell would he be doing here though?"
"Shit, I don't know why he would be here, but it's him alright. He's had himself a better haircut and got more clothes on. He is one freaky dude. Ven, he's a bloody zombie walking around amongst people and nobody notices. If they can do that then we are well and truly doomed."
"It's not good, that's for sure. C'mon, let's get the hell out of here. If I wasn't freaked out before then I well and truly am now."
Al, previously ahead, had been dawdling behind, loathe to leave without another bite to eat. Bos Bos was feeling the same way too.
As they walked through the grass that was fast picking up the damp of the rapidly cooling afternoon a group of three men approached them from the right. Kyle, Al, and Bos Bos instinctively stepped forward in front of Ven. Bos Bos was a little sluggish, he had eaten more than Al and was feeling a little bloated from too many partially cooked onions and dodgy burgers. Neither he, nor Al, had stopped to consider exactly what was in them, best thing too, it would only put them off their meals, especially Bos Bos.
"You are wanting something? I can be helping you?" said Al.
"Just coming over to be friendly mate," said a man that looked anything but.
"Yeah, don't see many people these days, so we thought we would come over to say hi. You staying around here then? Might be nice to catch up some time if you are."
"No, we are not from around here, and we are off right now actually, if you will excuse us," said Kyle, watching all three of them intently as they stood aside. Thick camouflage clothing, hinting at padding underneath, and more pockets than even Al, made it quite obvious that these were well prepared men. Kyle caught a flash of what looked very much like a Taser as one of the men stepped aside, bowing in mock elegance at Ven as she passed.
"Well, only trying to be friendly. Nice elephant by the way," said the third man, once they had gone a few steps past the knot of men. It sounded anything but friendly.
"Yeah, nice to meet you," said Kyle over his shoulder, as they carried on toward the bus.
"That was weird," whispered Ven once they were out of earshot. "Those guys are definitely up to something. I bet they wanted to rob us or eat us, one or the other."
"I am definitely not liking them, and they were wanting to know where we were going too. You may be right Ven, they want to be eating us up for their supper like we were steaks." Al shuddered at the thought, all too aware that his size meant he would be feeding lots of people if he was to be made into the steaks.
"Hey, that was your idea," protested Ven. "Did you notice the smell?"
"What, of those guys you mean?" asked Kyle.
"Yeah, I can't quite put my finger on it, but their smell was familiar, kind of like they were dirty, but they obviously weren't. You know what I mean by dirty don't you. Kind of like the zombies are with all their poo all over them. I didn't see anything like that though, what do you think?"
"You're right, they did smell funny. Not gross like the zombies, but sort of off somehow," said Kyle.
"It is from being near to the zombies I am betting, they are touching the zombies, or they are zombies really," said a wide-eyed Al, really thinking he was lucky to not be on someone's dinner plate right about now.
"That's it," said Ven. "They smell like they have been in contact with the infected, like their smell has rubbed off on them or something. Man, they give me the creeps. C'mon, let's go."
Kyle unlocked the bus and they all got on, sighs of relief all around once they had the doors closed and locked behind them.
"Let's get out of here," said Kyle, jumping into the driver's seat and starting Basil up. A cloud of smoke belched from the exhaust, their home really could do with a service. He crunched the gears and felt himself relaxing at the familiar feel of the stick — the warmth of the well worn brittle leather of the driver's seat.
As they approached the gates the man they had bartered with to get in waved them down.
"Fuck, what now," said Kyle. "Stay sharp guys, I'm going to quickly go see what he wants."
Kyle put the bus into neutral, careful to pull on the handbrake, then got down to see what the guy wanted. It was a few minutes later before he got back in, then without saying a word he drove through the now opened gates and away from the fair. He was uncharacteristically quiet as he drove, vibing out the whole bus with his silence.
"Well? Spill the beans then, what did he want?" said Ven, bursting at the seams to find out what had got Kyle so spooked.
"The dude that controls the gate? He gave me a little bit of advice is all. I don't know that you are going to want to hear it though," said Kyle, worried about the effect his words would have on Ven.
"C'mon, spill it bunny, let's hear the bad news."
"Well, he said that your feeling was right about some of the people at the fair. He said that we should be careful, very careful, and that under no circumstances should we be getting too friendly with any of the people we come across. He said that him and the other
fair folk had been hearing some very bad things about the few groups that are alive and uninfected."
"Like what?" asked Ven.
Al was sat in the aisle, crouched forward so he could hear the gossip.
Kyle quickly recapped what he had been told at the gate.
The people at the fair had been hearing more and more tales of late about people going missing. People always came and went so at first it didn't seem unusual. The survivors were mostly transient anyway. People passed through, stopped for a while, then moved on. Looking for more secure places to live, better supplies, fuel, batteries, solar equipment, you name it, people wanted it and traveled to find it.
But there were whispers and rumors of some disappearing when they shouldn't have. People were coming to the fair asking where acquaintances had gone, if they had been seen. Meetings were arranged but friends never showed, and there were reports of groups of men being seen that were new to the area but seemed to be well organized. Kyle had asked about the groups of men at the fair, but the gatekeeper had been wary, just saying that they should be careful, stick to themselves, and to not under any circumstances tell people where they were going to be.
They had no definite idea about what had happened but they were pretty sure that whatever it was it wouldn't be good.
"Keep your eyes on your woman," is what the gatekeeper had actually said. "Or you may find you will have to get your rocks off with the big guy instead." Kyle didn't try to correct him, just said thanks for the heads-up and got back on the bus.
"I guess you kind of forget what people are like. It was only a matter of time before people got organized, and some of them are bound to be less than savory types. Think about those two that kidnapped Al back at the manor house. Imagine if they had been part of a bigger group," said Ven, shivering at the thought, wrapping her clothes about her body tightly.
"They were not being the good men at all, but they got what they definitely did deserve," said Al, remembering them getting ripped to pieces as he was helped inside after they dumped him to be eaten by the zombie hordes.
