by Judith Yates
“But he’s getting better, isn’t he?”
“Physically, yes. His spirits are low, though.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Guilt knotted in her stomach. She knew what was coming next.
“Have you told Jordan about Stephanie yet?”
“No.”
She heard him mutter something unintelligible.
“How long has it been since he moved to Golden?” he then asked. “Three weeks? Four?”
“Almost three, Dad.”
“How can I get in touch with Lawrence now? I can’t talk to him in good conscience when he doesn’t even know his grandchild exists.”
“I’m trying to find the right time. Believe me. But it’s more complicated than you think.” Holly wondered if her father could even guess at what was going on between her and Jordan.
“The longer you wait, the harder it gets, Holly.”
As if she didn’t know. “Yes, Dad, it is. You’re right”
This response must have mollified him for his tone mellowed. “Did Jordan tell you how he lost CompWare?” he asked.
“Lost? What are you talking about?”
“That’s what Rachel said in her letter—Lawrence’s heart attack came shortly after Jordan lost the company to a hostile takeover attempt.”
She was stunned. “That can’t be right. Jordan said he sold it. The newspapers reported that he sold it.”
“Oh, you know how those corporate PR departments like to pretty these things up,” Ted offered matter-of-factly. “Besides, Rachel wouldn’t have written such a thing if it wasn’t true.”
Holly barely heard her father say goodbye. After hanging up with him, she stood at the front counter, staring into space, trying to make sense out of this news. Jordan had been evasive the few times she had mentioned the sale of CompWare. But she thought he didn’t want to discuss it because he had sold out the family business—not because he’d lost it.
How devastating that must have been for him! Jordan loved that company as much or even more than his father did. Holly was filled with shame for the cutting thoughts she had had about Jordan’s selling out the business. She had been certain he had done it for the money. She had believed the worst of him. And Jordan knew it.
Holly paced around the shop, her mind racing with emotions. She needed to talk to him. Now. She wanted to tell him she knew. She reached for the phone and quickly dialed his home number. Getting no answer there, she tried his cellular phone number. After letting it ring countless times, Holly slammed the receiver down.
Acting on pure emotional impulse, Holly hung the Closed sign on the shop door and headed out to find Jordan. She tried his usual haunts in town. The packing plant, the general store, the post office, the town hall. He was nowhere to be found. She dialed both his house and cellular phones again, but Jordan didn’t answer.
Holly’s heart was pounding. Where was he?
Although Jordan hadn’t answered his home phone, she decided to try his house anyway. He had to return there sometime. At the old Paget place, she found the driveway empty, the house locked. Frustrated, she knocked on the back door, even though she suspected he wasn’t there.
Since chasing all over town for him had proven fruitless, Holly figured she’d stay and wait. As she walked around the house to the front veranda overlooking the vast pond, she peered into the garage window. Jordan’s Mercedes was inside, parked next to a shiny new pickup truck she’d never seen before. Holly stepped back, while scanning the extensive, unmanicured landscape surrounding the big house. She saw nothing.
“He’s got to be somewhere around here.”
Holly scurried to the front of the house. After climbing the veranda steps, she turned to survey the huge, tolling green lawn that eventually tapered into Summer Pond. She had to squint to see beyond the sun’s glare. Within seconds she was able to focus on the figure standing on the shore, a figure indistinguishable from this distance—save for his shiny dark hair.
She ran across the yard and down the hill as fast as she could. The hill steepened as Holly drew closer to the lake, and it slowed her down. Both her shoes slipped off along the way, but she scarcely noticed. Finally, she could see him clearly, and she felt a rush of inexplicable relief. Dressed in faded jeans and a plain white T-shirt, he was dragging a heavy garden rake through what appeared to be mounds of fresh sand.
“Jordan!” she called from several yards away.
He looked up. A broad grin spread across his face when he realized it was her. He leaned against the rake and waved.
Breathing hard, Holly strode across the sand “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
As Jordan got a closer glimpse of her face, his smile vanished. He dropped the rake and rushed to meet her. “What’s wrong, Holly? What’s happened?”
Gasping as she tried to catch her breath, Holly revealed what she had just learned about Mason CompWare.
“Is that all this is about? I was afraid something had happened to Stephanie.”
“Steph is fine, just fine.” Holly brushed the hair back off her face. “What I want to know is why you misled me. You never said you lost CompWare.”
Resting his hands on his hips, Jordan glanced over at the lake. “Technically. I did sell the company, Holly.”
“You’re going to play word games with me now?”
Jordan sighed as he turned back to her. “Okay. The truth is I finally gave in to the takeover bid,” he said, sounding as uncomfortable as he looked. “I chose to sell before I was forced to.”
“Had it really come to that?”
He nodded. “Huge multinational corporations play hardball when they want something badly enough, Holly. The writing was on the wall—no matter what my father would like to think.”
“Lawrence had trouble accepting it?”
“He wanted me to keep fighting.” He reached for her shoulder, caressing it gently. “But I had to call it as I saw it. Agreeing to sell when I did gave me leverage to negotiate.”
“For more money? A better deal?”
“No.” His hand dropped from her shoulder. “For job security for my employees. A forced buyout would have meant certain job loss for hundreds of our people. I wanted to save as many of those jobs as I could.”
Holly began to understand. “So you agreed to sell if they agreed to retain your employees.”
Jordan nodded. “I held out until I got them a guaranteed number of years or a fair monetary settlement.”
“And then you gave up CompWare.”
“As you and my father and many others have pointed out, I was well compensated,” he said with a shrug.
Jordan talked a good game, but she could see in his eyes that the loss bothered him. Holly felt ashamed. When she had first heard about the sale, she had suspected Jordan of greed and selfishness. But he had actually sacrificed a company he loved and the respect of his father in order to protect the people who had worked for him.
“I’m so sorry I misjudged you.” She took his hand. “I should have had more faith.”
He lifted his gaze to her. His eyes, a translucent midnight ink, shone with unexpressed emotion. “That’s what I’ve been wanting.”
Holly clutched his hand. “Let’s sit down over there.” She led him to the large, smooth rocks at the. edge of the water. Their weathered, flat tops made them excellent benches. They huddled on the rocks, sitting knee-to-knee, their arms entwined.
“People haven’t considered how tough the sale has been on you, have they?” Holly held both his hands.
“Hell, it’s been a lot tougher on Dad than me.”
She gave him a skeptical look. “Really?”
“Selling off the business my mother and father built from scratch was painful, I admit. But I’ve come to terms with why I had to do it. I just wish...” Jordan paused, turning his eyes up to the powder-blue sky. “I just wish I could have spared my father another loss. First it was Scott, then CompWare.”
“Your family’s been through a rough time.”
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Jordan nodded. “Dad still misses Scott terribly.”
“Does he?” Holly whispered, sadness rising in her throat.
“You know how close the two of them were—they had a special bond. I’m afraid I haven’t been much comfort to him.”
“Don’t say that. You’re his son, too.”
“Dad was happy about my engagement to Allison. He had visions of grandchildren. He would sound out Allison about having kids all the time,” Jordan explained in an increasingly weary voice. “You can imagine his disappointment when Allison and I split up.”
Holly winced at the mention of grandchildren. “You’re making it sound like you’ve failed Lawrence.”
“Haven’t I?” he asked, throwing open his arms. “I’m not the son he adored and lost. I’m the son who lost the company he spent his life building.”
“You made the tough choice, Jordan—a choice Lawrence might well have made himself if he’d been in your shoes. It took courage,” she added firmly. “And that’s one thing Scott never had. He would’ve been incapable of making any decision at all.”
Jordan’s gaze widened in surprise.
“I mean it, Jordan. You should never feel second best to Scott.”
How could he? He was twice the man his brother had been.
Scott had been weak and selfish. He had shown his weakness in the humiliating way he had left her standing at the altar. And he had proven his selfishness by refusing even to listen to her when she’d tried to tell him she was pregnant with his baby. Holly felt Jordan had to know this truth about his brother, and that meant telling him about Stephanie.
“Jordan, I loved Scott once, but I was so young and blind—”
“I don’t care about you and Scott. It doesn’t matter anymore,” he insisted, a fervent excitement flashing in his eyes. He cupped her face between his hands. “It means so much to know you’re in my corner. It means even more to know I’m not just a substitute for Scott in your eyes.”
“A substitute?” Holly reached up to cover his hands with her own. “Never, ever, Jordan. You’ve got to know that”
His thumb traced languid circles on her left cheek. “I do now,” he murmured, moving closer to her lips.
Enclosing her in his arms, he used his tongue to tempt her mouth open with slow, sensuous licks. Pulling her tight against his chest, Jordan met her gaze for the briefest of moments. Then he reclaimed her lips to kiss her fully, deeply. It was a kiss unlike all the others before, a kiss that went beyond passion and desire. The steamy urgency of his previous kisses had fired her blood and fogged her senses. But the intense, unrestrained emotion of this one did nothing less than rock her soul.
As her hands ran up and down Jordan’s long, lean back, Holly could almost feel the happiness thrumming inside his body. It thrilled her to know she had given him that joy. Murmuring her name, Jordan moved his mouth from her lips to her cheeks, to her eyes, to her forehead and back. These featherlight kisses warmed her down to her toes, until she felt like slowly melting butter in his arms.
Then they held each other in an embrace both silent and intimate. As the water gently lapped against the rocks, Holly imagined they were tucked away on a deserted island, far away from the realities that could tear them apart. She wanted this serenity, this closeness, to last forever.
Yet when Holly rested her head on Jordan’s chest, the peaceful, easy beating of his heart reminded her what these exquisite moments had cost To give him this joy, she had had to keep her secret a little longer. There was no other way. How could she reveal Scott was Stephanie’s father after everything Jordan had just told her? That was the last thing he needed to hear. It would have destroyed him when he needed her most. It would have destroyed everything.
“Hey. Where did you go?”
Her head jerked up at the sound of Jordan’s voice. She looked at him, puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“All of a sudden you were a million miles away. At least, it felt that way.”
Holly was amazed he had sensed her distraction. “I admit it. My mind wandered—but not a million miles.”
“Care to elaborate?”
“Another time,” she said softly, brushing her knuckles against his cheek, hoping he’d let things go at that. “But I was wondering about all this new sand.”
“I had it dumped here this morning,” he explained, the smile returning to his eyes. “Don’t you think this cove would make a nice private little beach? With some work, I mean.”
“It’ll make a wonderful beach. But would you happen to be doing this for my daughter?”
He had told her about Stephanie’s reaction to Phil Barron’s swim invitation. Although she had ached for her child, she’d been extremely touched by Jordan’s concern for Steph.
“I did promise to take her and her pals swimming,” he reminded her.
“You could take them to the public beach. They’d be just as happy.”
Jordan shrugged. “This’ll make it extra special. The kid deserves it.”
“You shouldn’t spoil her, Jordan.”
From the way he pulled back to look at her, Holly thought she had offended him. Then she caught the familiar gleam in his eye and knew right away he was no longer thinking of Stephanie.
“Actually, I’m hoping to spoil you,” he told her, his voice a low, sexy drawl. “Someday I’m going to get you out here for a moonlight swim.”
“That could be a cold day in July,” she said, trying not to smile. “I’ve learned my lesson about going in the water with you.”
“You are a cruel woman, Ms. West.” Jordan feigned distress. “First you never give me an answer about the preschool dance, and now you mock my dishonorable designs on you. Have you no mercy?”
Dishonorable designs? Holly loved it. “You speak too soon, Mr. Mason. For I have decided to accept your kind invitation to the dinner dance.”
“I don’t believe it. When did you decide that?”
“Just now,” she admitted. “You haven’t changed your mind, have you?”
Jordan treated her to one of his more beguiling grins. “Not a chance. But what made you change yours?”
“Besides your irresistible charms, you mean?”
“That goes without saying.” He kissed the top of her head.
“Stephanie had the most to do with it, really.”
“The kid’s been rooting for me, eh? And I didn’t even have to bribe her.”
“She doesn’t know you invited me.” Shifting around on the rock, Holly nestled her back against his chest. “But after mulling over what happened when you took the Barron boys back to their father, I realized that I’ve always felt like the odd man out where the dinner dance was concerned.”
“Seems to me all your friends want you there,” Jordan said, sounding surprised. “And Gabe Sawyer must have asked you at one time or another.”
“He did—the first year Steph was in preschool. Like you, he’d thought I wanted to go,” she explained. “Yet I think Gabe was just as happy that I said no. He’s not real fond of black-tie events.”
“I still don’t understand why you would feel like the odd man out.”
“Because in that preschool circle, they’re all married couples with young, growing families. I’m the only one who’s a single mother.”
Holly felt her words inadequate. It wasn’t easy to explain how her unmarried status seemed to threaten some of the other young mothers. Or how, now and then, a bored or weary husband got it into his head that her husbandless state made her open to any and all sexual advances. And the minor daily differences between her life and theirs always seemed to get magnified at couple-oriented occasions such as the dinner dance.
“There are just times when I don’t feel I belong, Jordan,” she finally added with a sigh of resignation.
He wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Like Steph with the dads.”
She nodded, resting her head on his arm. Despite her fragmented explanation, he understood, and that mean
t so much to Holly. It made her feel less alone.
“Now it’s time to forget all that and have myself some fun,” she continued, glancing up at Jordan with a smile she felt from the heart. “After all, I’ll be going with the handsomest man in town—who, as I recall, used to be one smooth dancer.”
Squeezing her gently in his arms, Jordan lowered his mouth closer to her ear and whispered, “I still am.”
Chapter Ten
Jordan spotted Stephanie waiting on the top porch step when he drove into Holly’s driveway. She was dressed in a strange-looking outfit.
“Jordan !”
Steph got to her feet, her arm swinging in her usual buoyant wave. Instead of skipping down the steps two at a time, as was her custom, she took each step with a careful, regal air.
Jordan bit down on his lip, praying the kid wouldn’t trip on the long skirt she was wearing and come tumbling down on her head. But both her little feet touched the ground safely and she headed straight for him.
“Wow.” Her eyes popped as they roamed over his tux.
“Not bad, huh?” He made a show of straightening his black tie. “Just don’t tell me I look like a penguin, okay?”
“No,” Steph replied, shaking her head. “You look like a prince.”
The awe in her voice caught him up short. The adoration on her face made him nervous. He didn’t exactly consider himself prince material in any sense of the word. But how he’d hate to end up a disappointment in this girl’s eyes!
Needing to turn the table, Jordan stepped back and pretended to study Stephanie’s dress with great interest. “That’s quite the outfit you have on, Steph. Looks like you’re dressed for a ball yourself.”
“Isn’t it pretty?” She twirled in front of him. “It’s Mommy’s slip. ’Cept she made me wear this T-shirt under it, even though I didn’t want to.”
“It looks fine to me.”
She fluttered the ends of the long, flowery scarf draped around her shoulders. “Do you like my stole?”
“Oh, yes, and your earrings, too. And is that lipstick I see there?”
Her face turned pink. “Please don’t tell Mommy. I borrowed it and didn’t ask,” she whispered, as if it were the biggest secret in the world. “I better wipe it off.”
