by Conn, Claudy
The minute Sidney stepped into her condo she knew something was up. It was still. Quiet. No, more like dead because Riker wasn’t there. Oh, her Christmas tree was lit with that one strand that blinked and he’d cleaned the kitchen which was thoughtful, but there was no getting around how empty her usual cozy place currently felt.
She dropped her purse on the counter and headed for her room. She was going to throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and call him, when she skidded to a halt at the bedroom door. The bed was made. Her clothes were folded. Even the one crooked vertical blind she could never get straight was straightened. What the hell?
She was thinking how weird it was that he’d done all this. It seemed so final or something, so when she heard a sound upstairs, like one of his stools scraping across the ceramic, she breathed a sigh of relief. He was home. Screw getting changed.
When she arrived at his door she noticed it was slightly ajar. “Hello?”
She pushed open the door and leaned in as she scanned the room. “Riker?”
“Hi, Sidney.”
That greeting caused a sick feeling to descend in her stomach. It was so distant and cool. “Hi. What’s with the duffle bag?”
He tossed it down on the floor and ran a hand through his hair. God he was a sight. Clean shaven and dressed in a pair of worn blue jeans and a black t-shirt that fit him like a second skin.
“My ride’s almost here. I’m going up to work on the house for a few days.”
“Oh.” She swallowed and that bad feeling in her stomach got worse. “It’s because of me, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” His gaze never wavered.
“I’m sorry I acted crazy earlier. I’m sorry I said what I did and treated you like that. I…” She shifted from one foot to the other while she searched for the words but there weren’t any. “I don’t really know why I did that. I guess I was scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of my mom and dad catching us.”
“Why?” Picking up his bag, he stepped to the counter and then scooped up his keys. “Because of the sunset crier?”
“Ken? No.”
He stuffed his keys in a pocket and shook his hair away from his face. “Then why?”
“I didn’t want them finding out that I had a…a…one nightstand with a neighbor.”
His brows shot up before they lowered when he settled into a frown. “I see. Is that what you think we had this weekend? Neighbor, huh? I guess that’s a step up from ‘that guy’ or ‘the maintenance man’, but then I’m thinking that this had to be more than a one nightstand as I think a ‘one nighter’ wouldn’t have signed up for that Christmas parade extravaganza I went on.”
She took a step and then stopped. His cool gaze unnerved her until all she could manage was a whisper, “I think it was more too. Please don’t be mad.” He remained silent so she cleared her throat and spoke up, “I finally stood up to them.” More silence. “I did. At lunch I told my dad to stop foisting Ken on me, only I said it more diplomatically than that. No more living by their rules. I’m—”
“Did you tell them about me?”
She couldn’t look away from his eyes. “What?”
His gaze drilled into her. “You heard me. Did you?”
“No,” she admitted, because she didn’t have the courage to lie.
He didn’t say anything as he walked around her. When he got to the door he called over his shoulder, “Can you turn the lock when you leave?”
She blinked and then spun around. He was gone. He was going. “Riker.” She rushed out of his condo and stopped at the top of the stairs, watching him descend. “Riker, I’m sorry. I would have if…”
He stopped and looked up. “If what?”
If I’d had the nerve to face my personal issues with my dad, instead of filtering the conversation around the issues with Ken. She couldn’t say that. Admit to being a coward. “If the topic came up I would have.”
“Bullshit.”
When he turned to leave, she panicked. “Is that what you want? Me to tell them about you? I will.”
He swung back around. “What I wanted was a self-possessed woman who stands on her own two feet and not an adolescent child who’s scared shitless of her parents. Grow up.”
She gasped. That was a horrible thing for him to say and it cut deep too because it was true. “That’s what I was trying to do. With you. This weekend. I never…I’ve never done anything like this before. I was trying to be a grown-up.”
“Here’s a bit of advice for you. Self-respecting grown-ups aren’t ashamed of people they sleep with. At least not the way we slept together,” he said before he turned and headed down the steps.
“This is it then?” As soon as the words left her mouth she wanted to cry. This was what he’d asked her earlier. God, this was probably how he’d felt. If that were true… “I’m sorry.”
“I am too, darlin’. I am too.”
She stayed there, at the top of the stairs, until he was out of sight. Gone. And that’s when the tears welled. For no other reason than when he’d said darlin’ this last time, it sounded hollow. Crisp. And so un-endearing, she nearly crumbled.
“I knew I should have sent flowers and stayed home.”
Sidney stiffened, but then she felt Martha’s hand on her shoulder and she fell apart. She didn’t care why or how the apartment manager was on the third floor. All she did was turn and step into the older woman’s arms.
“He hates me,” she whispered through a broken sob.
“Nah, he don’t hate you. He took the time to hurt you and that takes love. Trust me on this.”
Chapter Twelve
“You scared the chick off? How?”
Riker circled his scotch on the Delta Airline’s napkin and frowned. “She’s not a chick. Her name is Sidney and I told her to grow up.”
His brother winced. “Ouch.”
Riker expected this kind of reaction from Caleb. His brother may be a love ‘em and leave ‘em type of guy, but he was never cruel to a woman. “Yeah, I was a little tough on her.”
“A little.”
“Someone needed to tell her. She can’t spend the rest of life hiding from it behind her well-meaning parents.”
“Wow.” His brother shook his head and then downed the last of his beer. “On that note of irony, I think I’m going to say goodbye. If I take the short cut I can swing by your place, drop off the box, get those screws and make it back to the house before rush-hour traffic. Call me when you get to the Denver.” He stood and tossed a twenty on the table. “Actually, call me when you get to the cabin. Let me know how the new service is. They’re charging us an extra hundred to open and clean the place on such short notice.”
“Will do.” Riker wanted to let the irony comment go. He really did, but he couldn’t. “Hey.” His brother looked down. “What note of irony?”
The fucking guy grinned. “You sure you want to know?”
Riker sat forward and cradled his drink. He knew he was going to regret this, but he nodded anyways. “Positive.”
“She’s not the only one hiding from life. You are too.”
He slammed his glass down and sat back. “Not another Brianna and Tom lecture. I knew I shouldn’t have asked.”
“But seeing as how you did, I’m going to answer you. It’s the chip on your shoulder. That’s what you’re hiding behind. Maybe while you’re in Denver hiding from this woman you can finally deal with Brianna and all that shit. It might give you some insight into why you keep getting fucked over by the opposite sex.”
“Screw that. Bree is not even going to know I’m there.”
Caleb made a face and started backing away from the table. “I, ah, think it’s too late for that.”
“What?” Riker stood at the same time that Caleb spun around and began walking off at a good clip. His eyes narrowed. “Does Brianna know I’m going to the cabin?”
Caleb didn’t break stride, he just called over his shoulder. “Where do you think
I got the number for that new cleaning service?”
Riker blinked and when a woman with a toddler walked by, he silently swore because he couldn’t even swear out loud. Fuck.
Chapter Thirteen
The last two days had been the worst of Sidney’s life. She hadn’t been able to eat, she could barely sleep and once she got over her anger at Riker for being so brutally honest, she’d done something she hadn’t done in nearly a decade. She wrote in a journal. It was all very maudlin. Disjointed thoughts of highly dramatic scenarios. Most of which ended where she’d never see him again and remain single for the rest of her life, lamenting over what could have been.
But then the anger resurfaced and she took on an attitude. Yes, she’d treated Riker badly. She’d been disrespectful by trying to pass him off as the maintenance guy, but she’d said she was sorry and what had he done? He’d been insulting. Mind you, it was the truth, but it was one of those personal insults that shouldn’t have been thrown out like an accusation.
Right?
“Right.”
That new found justification lasted half a day and she was back to being sad again. For the last hour she’d been having her own pity party, trying to decide what she’d say to him when he returned. Surely he’d be back to his condo for Christmas Eve. That was tomorrow night and she’d already dealt with her parents. Well, mostly her dad, when she told them about Riker and how she intended to spend time with him over the holidays if he they made up. She’d run through a thousand things to say to him. Ways to explain and just when she was running through a thousand and one, she heard a guy shout. It sounded like…
“Riker?” She nearly tripped getting to the door. Swinging it open, she saw him heading up the stairs. “Riker.”
When he stopped and turned, she scowled at him. “You’re not Riker, but you could be his twin.”
The guy flashed a very familiar smile and said, “It’s a good thing I am his twin then.” He stepped down off the stair and extended his hand. “Caleb Mitchell.”
Absently she shook it, even as she rudely came up on tiptoe and craned her neck to see around him. “Is Riker here?”
“No.”
She landed flat on her feet and let go of him, trying not to grumble. “He isn’t?”
“I came to pick up some hardware,” was all he said.
“Is he still at the house? Is he going to be back here for Christmas Eve?”
“Why don’t you call him and ask him yourself?” Oh, he was Riker’s brother all right. Her eyes narrowed as she searched his face, making note of his slight grin. He looked so much like Riker and yet so different it was unnerving. With a deep breath she mentally pulled up her big-girl panties and decided to take a bite out of the shit sandwich instead of beating around the proverbial bush for the next ten minutes until she finally had to chew. Better to get it over with in one quick swallow.
“I can’t do that as your brother has blocked my calls.”
“I see.”
“Well, I’m glad you do because I don’t get it. Sure we had a little bit of a situation thingy but it wasn’t so bad that he should cut me out of his life like this. It’s like he abandoned me with no way to reach him.”
“Yeah, he’s good at that.”
“Excuse me?”
He studied her for a second as if he were sizing her up. Then he asked, “You wouldn’t happen to be Sidney Capp, would you?”
Her heart raced. “Yes. Did he tell you about me?”
“No. Yeah. But…”
He seemed to be debating. She’d kill to know the topic. “Yes?”
“He wanted me to give the landlord a box meant for you. So to my way of thinking, it’s okay if I give it directly to you instead.”
“A box? Where is it?”
“I’ll be right back.”
Five minutes later Sidney’s hands shook as she told him to come in and took the package from him. Her shoulders slumped when she saw there was no note. “There was nothing else with this? No envelope?”
“No. Great tree, by the way. Short and fat must be the in style these days.”
“Thanks.” She used her thumbnail to break the tape that secured the lid.
“Hey, do you want me to fix that strand so it doesn’t blink anymore?”
“No thanks.” She opened the box and pulled at the tissue.
“Is that orange and cinnamon I smell?”
“Yeah.” She parted the last wisp of paper and swallowed when she saw it. Her angel. The missing sister she hadn’t been able to win on eBay. She wasn’t going to cry. She wouldn’t, but then she saw a scrap of paper underneath, with writing on it and she knew what this was. It was Riker’s way of saying goodbye, she was sure of it.
“Is that Riker’s t-shirt over that pillow?”
At this point she didn’t care if Caleb knew how pathetic she was. All she concentrated on was putting down the box and getting to that note. “Yes. I’ve been sleeping with it. I miss him less when I…”
A quirky angel for a quirky angel. Merry Christmas, darlin’.
Her nose burned and her throat ached as she held back the tears that threatened. She wasn’t going to cry in front his brother. No way. So when a lone drop escaped out of the corner of her eye and skidded down her cheek, she brushed it away with the back of her hand and took a fortifying breath.
“I suppose I should give it back.”
“Why? What did he give you?”
“I—oh, not the present. He gave me the missing angel to my collection. I meant the t-shirt.” She walked around the counter and plucked up her pillow. Giving it a shake until the tee slid off and then she begrudgingly offered it to him.
“Yeah, you should give it back. That’s one of his favorites.” He didn’t take it though. Instead he picked up her pen from the coffee table and asked, “You have a piece of paper?”
“Sure. Don’t you want the shirt?”
“No, you can give it back to him yourself if you’re up for an adventure.”
Adrenaline coursed through at the thought of seeing Riker. At the idea of having one last chance to make things right, but... “Adventure?” She rushed to the counter and tore a piece of paper out of her journal.
Caleb accepted the slip and asked as he started to write, “How do you like flying?”
Air travel scared the crap out of her. “Love to.”
“Snow?”
She’d never seen any. “I adore the white stuff.”
“Frigid temperatures?”
She was a native Floridian, so she had very little idea. “Perfect for me.”
“Great.” He handed her the paper and winked. “You’re going to Denver, but don’t tell him I sent you.”
The elation that was brimming to life within her dimmed slightly. “He doesn’t want me there, does he?”
“My guess right now? It will take a miracle for him to let you through the door.”
Sidney’s heart sank. “So why are you giving me this?” She held up the address with detailed directions and waved it.
“At first I wasn’t going to…”
She tilted her head. “So what made you change your mind?”
“No offense, but you could have been a psycho or something. It wasn’t until I saw your tree, smelled the cinnamon and well, I’d mention the t-shirt, but without the tree and the smelly plug-ins, I would have been placing bets you were a psycho for sure after I saw that. Do chicks really do that kind of thing with a guy’s shit?” He pointed to the tee and then pillow.
“Oh yeah. Smelly?” She frowned and sniffed. Her place didn’t stink. Then she remembered. “And what’s wrong with my tree?”
He shrugged. “It’s short and fat.”
“So?”
“It was the missing piece to the puzzle.”
She had absolutely no idea what Caleb was talking about. Shaking her head, she let him know it.
“Look.” He sighed. “I leave my brother here for a weekend of R&R and when I get him back he’s an as
shole. He’s snapping at the guys, dragging me through one tree place after another—did I mention it was eighty degrees at the time?— looking for the perfect one.” He hiked a thumb toward hers and said, “Which, according to him, happens to be short and fat like yours. Bad enough, because in the house we just built him it looks like it ought to be a table decoration, but worse than that are the decorations themselves. He only had six of them on there. No lights. Not one. Just six metal things hanging on as many branches. It was fucking stupid looking, and when I bought some green and red balls and tried to add them, he about took my head off.”
Sidney tried not to smile, but she couldn’t hold it back. It was hard to keep the sun down when it was rising from within.
“And that smell. He had those goddamn plug-ins in every room. Every room. I was getting a perpetual headache breathing in that shit. That’s why I talked him into going to the cabin. He’s a bear and belongs in the woods. So yeah, be my guest and head there. Hopefully you’ll be able to straighten the hair he’s got up his ass about you. The sooner the better.”
Aww, he might have been scowling but underneath all his bluster she knew Caleb was a softy. “I can’t thank you enough.”
“Just fix him so he’s not growling. That’s my job and lately he’s been showing me up in front of the guys.”
Sidney nodded as she walked him to the door. So many things running through her head. Buying a plane ticket, packing. Getting a rental car. She’d never been anywhere all on her own, but she wasn’t nervous about it. Well, maybe about the flight, but getting through that meant she’d get to see Riker, so she’d deal.
“I really appreciate you telling me all this.” She meant about the tree and the plug-ins, as it gave her the first ray of hope that they could patch things up.
“I haven’t said much of anything, but I probably should.” He leaned back against the door frame and eyed her. “I’m not sure what happened between you guys and maybe this doesn’t have anything to do with it, but Riker had his heart broken once.”
“I know. He told me.”
“Did he tell you that Brianna left him for a suit? You don’t happen to have one of those waiting in the wings for you, do you? It would explain a lot.”
