Too pretty like her uncle’s and too pretty like her momma’s.
Good God, it wasn’t Karl who’d lost his ever-lovin’ mind.
If I was worried what they’d think of me before, now they had plenty of arsenal to think I was nuts.
Insane.
But I’d been feeling that way since the moment Lyrik stepped into my life.
Like his weight had caused a shift in my axis.
Ever since, I’d been out of touch with what I’d fought to maintain as my reality.
Lyrik’s dad started laughing, too, and instead of returning my handshake, he hugged me. “We’re really glad to have you. My name’s Karl, in case you didn’t hear my woman hollering from the kitchen.”
I laughed a little more around the emotion clogged in my chest.
Lyrik was right.
I would love them.
I already knew that from the five seconds I’d spent in their space.
Bustling footsteps echoed down the hall, and Lyrik was already turning around, setting Penny on the floor before he moved forward and lifted his mom in an overbearing hug.
She didn’t fight it and let him whip her around like a ragdoll.
Lyrik set her back down and slung his arm around her shoulder. “And this hippie here would be my mom, Katy.”
She resembled the rest of them the least, shorter than her daughter by probably five inches, her feet bare, her hair a light brownish blonde, long and flowy, just as flowy as her whimsical skirt and the jewelry she wore.
But her smile.
It was his.
Though it lacked that wickedness.
She smacked his chest and at the same time leaned her head against it. “Oh, hush. You just love giving me a hard time.”
“What else are you good for?” With the jibe came pure affection, and he squeezed her a little tighter, as if he wanted to reassure her she was good for so much more.
That she was everything. Because that much was blatantly clear. This was the one place Lyrik was truly free. Unrestrained and without the ghosts that seemed to haunt his every move.
She relaxed into him for a second, before she pushed away with her attention locked on me. Her smile went achingly soft.
“And you must be Tamar.” She wrapped my hand in hers, covering them both with the other. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Thank you for having me, especially on such short notice.”
She waved me off. “Pssh…I’m always more than ready to have company. Especially if it’s someone like you.”
A timer buzzed from the kitchen. Her light brown eyes widened. “Lyrik said you two wouldn’t be able to stay for dinner because of the show tonight, so I thought I’d whip us up some lunch. I hope you’re hungry.”
Lyrik rubbed his stomach. “Famished.”
“Good then. Come on, let’s eat.”
When Katy West cooked, Katy West cooked.
She’d made ham and potatoes and green beans, a salad, not to mention the cinnamon rolls she served hot out of the oven.
We sat around their small kitchen table, Lyrik at my side. I was pretty sure I wasn’t the only one who ate until their stomach was overstuffed, but the laughter was carefree and the conversation light and it felt so good to relax into the atmosphere.
None of them made me feel an outsider. It was only Penny sitting on her knees in her chair who peppered me with questions, which was clearly out of her own need to know every detail of everything, my favorite color and movie and book.
When we finished, I offered to help Katy clear the dishes, but she shooed us out and told me to enjoy my visit. I found myself in the backyard on the thick lawn, Penny screeching as Lyrik pushed her on the swing.
“Higher, Uncle ’Lik!”
I stood aside and watched as they played.
When she’d finally gotten her fill of going down the slide after she’d done it about fifty-two times, she called, “Duck, Duck, Goose time! Momma and Bwue have to play, too, right, Uncle ’Lik?”
She took his hand and looked up at him, that menacing, powerful boy so tall at her side, so striking and bold beneath the California sky, yet so careful with this little girl.
“Right,” he answered. He shot a grin our way, looking back after us as he let her haul him over to the grassy spot beneath the leafy ash growing proudly on the right side of the yard.
“You up for this?” Mia asked. “She can be a handful.”
“She’s wonderful,” I said.
Mia’s smile was warm, knowing, as if that was a perfectly acceptable answer because she definitely wasn’t going to disagree. We headed over to the circle Penny was putting in place.
“You sit right there…and Momma you’re right here…and Bwue…you sit there,” she said, pointing her tiny finger to the spot beside Lyrik.
“Yeah, you sit right here,” Lyrik drawled out just before he yanked my hand.
My feet flew out from under me.
And I was falling.
Right into his arms.
I yelped. “Lyrik…what do you think you’re doing? You’re so going to pay for that.”
But it was the sudden wave of joy rushing me that spun my head and weakened my knees, the ground a rumble, that buzz sizzling in the air. Everything went so rapturously light. This dangerous boy who was so incredibly good.
And I wanted to bask in it, in the excitement and thrill that drew me forward, pushing me into the open space where I had no place to hide.
Did he know?
He held me close, kissed my forehead.
So soft.
So sweet.
So different.
I could feel his smile against my skin, and I could feel my own as I clutched my hands in his shirt.
I wanted to hang on to it forever.
“I it!” Penny called, because forever couldn’t last, and I forced myself to crawl from Lyrik’s lap. I straightened out my shirt and tried to straighten out my emotions that were all tangled and tied.
I turned to catch Mia’s knowing smile, the bite of her lip as she looked between us, before she turned back to her daughter. “All ready.”
Penny started to skip around the small circle. She touched each of our heads as she passed.
“Duck… Duck… Duck…” She went around three times before she touched my head. “Goose!” she called. She fumbled into a run as I climbed to my feet. Her smile was so carefree as I chased her around the circle.
She jumped into my spot.
“Safe!”
Of course she was.
“Dang it,” I drew out, and Lyrik gave me a grin when he gave Penny a high-five. “You’re way too fast for our Blue here.”
I circled twice before I called “Goose” when I touched Mia’s head.
Okay.
So call me a chicken.
But I was taking the safe road.
Because the ones I’d been traveling today had suddenly become perilous. Full of dips and holes and unexpected curves that felt so good. I was sure there had to be an out-of-control truck barreling down on the other side.
I raced around the circle, moving quicker than I anticipated, because damn, Mia was fast. I twisted around, dodging her hand that barely missed my back, before I slid back into her spot.
Penny howled with laughter. “You beat my momma!”
I poked her stomach. “Sure did…you don’t have to have those long, gorgeous legs to run fast. Us short girls can do it too.”
“Ha,” Mia said, starting slow as she began to circle. “I’d give up my height for those curves, any day.”
Dark, dark eyes flashed, all mischief and sex as Lyrik glanced my way. “Kinda like those curves myself.”
I shot him a warning glare.
Little ears. Little ears.
Mia finally tapped Penny’s head and called, “Goose.” Penny took off after her, and Mia ran slowly, but never let Penny catch her before she hopped into her spot.
“Made it!”
Penny was a
ll too eager to go again, rounding and rounding and rounding until she touched Lyrik’s Head. “Goose!”
Lyrik flew to standing and began to chase after his niece.
Penny squealed and moved her little legs as fast as she could.
“Go, Penny, go! Don’t let him get you,” I urged as I held out my arms for her to run into to keep her safe.
She flew into them and knocked us back against the grass.
Both of us were laughing, and she was hugging me and I was suddenly hugging her.
It felt so nice.
So natural.
And I missed and I missed and I missed.
A tremble rolled. Working its way from the inside out.
Home.
I wanted to find it.
I wanted to find the pieces I’d lost and shunned and left behind and the ones still waiting to be discovered in the future.
“I fink I love you,” the tiny voice said as Penny burrowed deeper into my hold.
So innocent and without any doubt. How easily she offered her heart.
I squeezed her tighter, just as tight as I squeezed my eyes shut. “I think I love you, too,” I whispered.
Was that okay? To love freely? Without the fear of it being ripped away?
Intensity blistered the air. A heat so great it was palpable, a tangible weight. My chest squeezed. Shivers covered me whole, magnified by the rays of the sun brushing at my arms and face.
I forced my eyes open and met with the fathomless stare glinting down at me.
The man so gorgeous and hard and terrifying. A storm so wholly beautiful. Dangerous and raw.
More dangerous than he’d ever been.
Because this wasn’t the malicious, spiteful man who’d come into my bar a year ago, scarred in bitterness. It wasn’t the one I’d run from because he’d reminded me of all the things I should fear.
This was the same boy in the picture I’d found shoved in the back corner of his drawer.
Face shining with pure love and joy and affection.
And he was looking at me.
The last brittle band of my heart broke.
I could feel the snap.
A million pounds gone.
The flood of emotion that swelled in my chest and spun in my spirit.
The shout of my soul.
Love. Love. Love.
Searching for a breath, I peeled Penny from me, gently kissed her on the cheek as I set her aside. “I need to get a glass of water,” I said.
Lie.
Lie.
Lie.
I was simply staggered.
Reeling.
I climbed onto shaky feet.
“Are you okay?’ Lyrik asked, head cocked in sudden concern.
“I’m fine.” I smiled. “Just going to get something to drink. Can I get you anything?”
“Nah…I’m good.” He looked to where Penny had climbed onto her mother’s lap. “Going to play with my girls for a few more minutes then we’d better get going.”
“Okay.”
I fumbled my way up the two steps leading to the porch and through the door to the kitchen where it was dim and quiet. Neither of Lyrik’s parents were anywhere to be found.
Slowly I made my way over to the kitchen sink and to the window that overlooked the backyard.
Drawn.
Because I couldn’t look away.
Lyrik was sitting on the grass, facing across from his sister and niece.
I stared out at everything I wanted. It felt so close. Yet the distance was riddled with obstacles.
“You love him.”
A soft gasp left me, and I jerked around to find Lyrik’s mother watching me from where she stood at the entrance of the kitchen.
It wasn’t a question.
My mouth flapped open and closed, my mind still a buzzing whir of noises and realizations and hope.
“I didn’t mean to.” It spilled free before I could stop the admission, but as soon as I voiced it, I knew its truth.
I didn’t mean to fall in love with Lyrik West.
I’d run from it.
Fought it.
All the while he’d been the one to fight for me.
It was so difficult to reconcile. The boy who I felt as if I could go to for anything, the one who’d protect me with his last dying breath, up against the one who kept himself so shut off. Sheltered and fortified behind his own walls.
Light laughter rippled from her delicate mouth. “We rarely do.”
Her brown eyes softened as she tilted her head. “I doubt very much he meant to fall in love with you, either.”
Hope whipped into a frenzy.
I shook my head to clear it.
No.
She was wrong.
“I’m pretty sure I’m just along for the ride,” I told her, trying to blink away the moisture gathering in my eyes.
Weak.
That’s what he made me.
“Are you sure about that? In his entire life, my son has only brought two girls here. And the first one? That boy was head over heels in love with her.”
The pain ripping through me was the worst sign. It felt as if my chest was being shorn into a thousand tiny pieces.
I had to be an idiot.
But I knew the risk—coming here—I reminded myself. I learned a long time ago not all skies after a storm are painted in rainbows.
“Has he told you about her?” she asked.
Fiercely, I shook my head.
Her expression lifted in sympathy, but it was clear she wasn’t surprised, and she took a tentative step forward. My gaze was drawn back to the window. Outside, I saw Lyrik laugh, the tender way he looked at his sister and niece.
The pain within me only amplified.
“Tamar, I’d never tell you that about her to hurt you or make you feel like you’re less, and maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all,” Katy continued cautiously. She edged in closer behind me.
“I’m telling you because it means something he brought you here. More than something…especially after everything he’s been through. And I’m not one to go making excuses for my children. Lyrik made terrible mistakes with her. Mistakes he’s been paying for ever since. Mistakes I’m sure he’s going to be paying for, for the rest of his life. But he loved her. Loved her like mad. So often, that first love feels like it’s the most important thing in the world, when in reality, it’s only there to give us a glimpse…to prepare us…for what it’s really going to feel like when we meet the one we’re supposed to spend our lives with. Because it pales in comparison.”
My throat constricted. So tight. I tried to breathe around it.
Katy’s tender voice swelled in the room, as if she were lost to the same scene happening in her backyard as I was.
“You know, when Mia got pregnant…she wasn’t even eighteen. Lyrik was so protective of her. He’d always been. He would have dropped everything to come take care of his sister when that useless boyfriend of hers dumped her the day she found out about Penny.”
Knowingly, she grinned my way. “Little bastard, he was lucky Lyrik didn’t skin him alive.”
Her voice softened again. “When Penny was born, Baz had just gotten out of jail after all that trouble those boys went and got themselves into.”
God, I wanted to ask about that, too.
It was so much more difficult traversing something when you were going in blind.
“Things were just starting to move along for Sunder,” she mused. “Them gaining national attention and their label picking them up. Lyrik wanted to up and move us into a big house. Take care of us. But this has always been our home. And more important than that, Mia needed to find her own way, even though she’s still looking for it.”
Everything about her slowed in emphasis as her head inclined toward the window. “Same way as he does. And maybe that way has always been pointing to you.”
Stunned by her words, I turned to look at her. She’d only met me today. And I could almost hear forever
whispering from her tongue.
My gaze trailed out the window. For a moment I stared, before something in my periphery caught my attention.
They were sitting below the window off to the left amid a bunch of other trinkets. There were two of them. The same handmade bears like the one I’d found in Lyrik’s apartment. The same kind he’d made for Sebastian and Shea’s son. These two were obviously well used, one plainly made for a boy and the other for a girl.
I could almost picture Lyrik as a wild, spirited boy running through the house with a cape on his back, his little sister toddling behind, trying to keep up, as they both dragged the bears along with them.
Make it if you want it to matter.
Overwhelmed by it all, I whipped around to look at her.
“What’s the song on his arm? The name?” I demanded it before I could stop myself.
Sadly, she shook her head. “Now that’s not my story to tell. But look at you…”
For a second, I recoiled, slammed behind a wall of defensiveness. A flash of Red.
But her expression was the furthest from judgmental. “Sweet girl…I see you…trying to cover up the things you wish you could erase.”
Could she really tell that just from looking at me?
“And my son? He might not completely understand everything, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get it. Just like I know you might not know every single detail of Lyrik’s past, but that doesn’t mean you don’t get him. And it’s like he’s silently begging you to. See him. Get him. Even when I know that terrifies him. He doesn’t want to forget, Tamar, but it’s time he moved beyond it. Maybe you’re the one who can help him do that. He deserves to be loved. Every bit as much as you do.”
Could she be right? That what Lyrik truly wanted was me?
And she looked at me. Looked at me as if she could see through every day and every moment of the last four years. As if she felt every fear. As if she knew every wound.
“You might have given up on yourselves. Just don’t give up on each other.”
“YOU SURE YOU’RE GOIN’ down there?”
Duskiness clung to the enclosed quarters backstage, the hallway narrow and the ceiling low where Lyrik had me pinned against the wall.
People jostled through, moving equipment as the opening band cleared out to make room for Sunder to take the stage. Voices yelled demands and directions, and a frenzied excitement bustled through the atmosphere.
Where Lightning Strikes (Bleeding Stars #3) Page 26
