She practically ran out of the barn into the house. Jesse watched her go, wondering at her reaction. Was she that upset because a friend’s child had left her doll at the cabin? Or was there more to it than that? Watching the door to the house slam behind her, he felt his suspicions return in a rush.
He deliberately walked into the house late for dinner that night, hoping to overhear Shea talking about the cabin. Ignoring the unfamiliar shame that tried to distract him, he closed the front door as silently as possible and paused before entering the dining room. But all he heard was Levi’s voice, talking about what he’d done that day.
All conversation stopped for a moment when he walked into the dining room, then Shea said lightly, “You should be thankful that Maria’s in a good mood tonight. She doesn’t take kindly to people who stroll in late for dinner.”
Just then Maria came through the kitchen door with two steaming bowls in her hands. Plopping them on the table, she propped her hands on her hips and glared at him.
“Do you own a watch, mister?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Jesse answered meekly.
“Then you’d better use it. I don’t cook so shiftless hands can waltz into my dining room any time they please. This isn’t a restaurant, cowboy.”
“No, ma’am.”
With one final glare, Mana turned and stalked back into the kitchen. Jesse heard chuckles from the men at the table behind him, and when he turned around, he saw that even Shea was grinning.
“I told you she was in a good mood,” Shea said, her eyes twinkling.
Jesse pulled out the chair next to Shea. Apparently it had become his place at the table. “I’d hate to catch her in a bad mood, then.”
Levi chortled. “On a bad day, you’d be wearing your dinner instead of eating it. We don’t mess with Maria.”
“I’ll remember that.”
Shea looked over at him, her eyes still smiling. “You’d better watch your step. Maria already gave you conditional approval. Another infraction and you’ll have to start over.”
“That’s hard to believe. Most of the time, I don’t think she even approves of you,” he said, his voice light.
Shea laughed. “Most of the time she doesn’t. But she loves me anyway.”
He understood why, he thought with a sudden rush of heat and need. It seemed like everyone he’d met adored Shea. And he was too damned close to feeling the same way about her.
He had to step back, he told himself, and figure out what was going on. Nothing was adding up the way it was supposed to. He hadn’t expected to find a doll in the cabin. Their informant had told them Shea was smuggling hardened criminals into the country. They sure as hell wouldn’t have any dolls with them. Judging by Shea’s reaction, there was something going on at the cabin, but he was beginning to wonder if it was the smuggling of illegal aliens.
Maybe Shea was using the cabin for personal reasons. He scowled, engulfed by a black wave of jealousy, thinking about what those personal reasons could be. And maybe it was perfectly innocent. Maybe she’d been telling the complete truth when she said that a firiend’s child had left the doll behind.
If so, he was wasting his time here. If no evidence showed up soon, he’d have to leave and call it quits. There were other places he was needed, other jobs waiting for him.
But for the first time since joining the Bureau, he wasn’t eager to move on to the next job. He didn’t look forward to matching wits with the next criminal, playing the game, plotting all the moves. For the first time, he wasn’t looking forward to leaving a place behind.
Scowling again, he attacked his mashed potatoes and thought about the woman sitting next to him. He knew why he didn’t want to leave, and it scared him spitless. He didn’t want to say goodbye to Shea.
“...and it looks like we got us a real expert here in Jesse,” he heard Joe say.
Jesse jerked his head up to find that Shea and the three older men were all watching him. “What are you talking about?”
“I was just telling them how you helped me get that truck’s engine purring today.”
Jesse saw the approval in Joe’s eyes and shrugged. “I mostly just held the wrenches for Joe while he tuned it up. He’s the one who’s a genius with engines.”
“Don’t be modest, now, Jesse,” Joe said, and Jesse squirmed in his seat. He’d never intended for Joe to tell anyone else how he’d helped him.
Joe described in detail what Jesse had done to fine-tune the engine of the truck, and when he’d finished, Shea turned to him.
“Thanks, Jesse,” she said, and the warmth was back in her eyes. “I appreciate that.”
“I didn’t do anything,” he protested. “Joe is the one who did all the work.”
“I know exactly what you did.” Her eyes glowed at him, and he couldn’t look away. For a moment, there was no one else in the room. There was only Shea, looking at him like he hung the moon, and his treacherous heart, which wanted nothing more than to sweep her into his arms and hold on tight.
But he wasn’t on the Red Rock Ranch to get soft in the head over Shea, so he forced himself to look away and shrug. “It was no big deal.”
For a moment, no one spoke, then the typical dinner chaos broke out again. Finally, Maria served dessert and everyone but he and Shea eventually wandered out of the room.
“Thank you for Joe,” she said quietly when everyone had gone.
“I don’t mind helping him,” he replied.
“That’s not what I meant. I know his head is still bothering him, and he’s not able to do what he wants to do. You did a lot more than hold the wrenches for him this afternoon, and you somehow managed to convince him he’d done most of the work.”
“He had,” Jesse said, uncomfortable again. “He figured out what needed to be done. I just supplied the muscle.”
“But you made him feel like he could contribute to the ranch. Before today, I hadn’t seen him smile since Ben Jackson brought him home from the hospital.”
“He’s getting older,” Jesse said. “It’s going to take longer to get back in shape.”
“No one wants to admit that,” Shea said. “Especially a man who’s always been proud of the work he does. You were wonderful with him.”
“It was no big deal,” Jesse muttered.
“That’s why it’s a big deal.” Shea pushed away from the table. “I have more bookkeeping to do. I’ll see you tomorrow .”
Her voice was light and easy again, and the fear and tension he’d seen in her face at the cabin were gone. There were no shadows in her eyes, and once more Jesse wondered if he’d imagined them earlier. Had he seen them because that’s what he wanted to see? Had he allowed his preconceived ideas about her guilt to color his observations? Had their informant been wrong?
“Could you take a few minutes to talk to me before you do your bookkeeping?” he asked abruptly.
The light in her eyes dimmed fractionally, and he thought she looked wary. “Sure. What’s up?”
“I just have a few questions about the ranch.”
The wariness eased, and she grabbed a jacket from the stand by the front door. “Why don’t we go outside, then? It’s a shame to waste any of this beautiful day indoors. It could turn ugly again any time.”
He followed her out of the house, and they both headed for the pasture behind the house. The trees and the barn would allow them some privacy, and Jesse didn’t want to be overheard.
They leaned on the fence, watching the cattle in the distance for a moment. The sun was slipping below the horizon, and the first faint streaks of red were appearing in the sky. The trees on the mountains behind them were dark silhouettes against the red and purple of the rocks.
“Tell me about the employee you fired recently,” Jesse said abruptly.
He felt her tense beside him. “Do you mean Kyle?”
“How many people have you fired in the past year?”
“Only Kyle,” she said, and he heard the reluctance in her voice.
/> “You needed help pretty badly. Why did you let him go?”
“Why do you need to know?” she countered.
He didn’t answer right away. He’d have to be careful, or he wouldn’t get the information he needed. Finally he said, “I’m curious. No one wants to talk much about him.” He’d stick as close to the truth as possible. Shea was too perceptive.
She didn’t answer for so long that he thought she was going to refuse. Finally she sighed. “I had to fire Kyle because he was stealing from me. And worse, he was stealing from Joe, Dusty and Levi. That was the last straw. I couldn’t allow that.”
“Why didn’t you have him arrested?” he demanded.
“Dev tried to arrest him. But he disappeared before Dev could get out here and we didn’t hear from Kyle again. He was smart enough not to write and ask for his last paycheck”
“Do you have any idea where he’s gone?”
“No, and I don’t care.” She turned to look at him. “What difference does it make, anyway? He’s gone, I split his last check between Joe, Dusty and Levi, and he won’t steal anything else from us. As far as I’m concerned, it was a case of bad judgment that I’ve already paid for. End of story.”
“I see why you were reluctant to hire me,” he said softly. “You were smart to be careful after an experience like that.”
This time she turned to face him. “You’re nothing like Kyle, Jesse. I think I knew that from the very beginning. I wasn’t afraid that you’d steal from me.”
“Then why didn’t you want to hire me?”
She turned away and stared into the growing darkness. “It was complicated,” she finally said.
“I’m told I have a good grasp of the complicated.” he said, trying to keep his voice light. “Tell me about it.”
“I was attracted to Kyle,” she said after a while, her voice very low. “And after I found out what he was doing. I questioned my judgment. I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice. It was easier just not to hire you.”
“Are you saying you didn’t want to hire me because you were attracted to me?” Desire, never far from the surface when Shea was around, roared to life.
She whirled on him. “In a word, yes. How would you have felt in my position?”
“If you’d shown up at my ranch, I would have hired you in a minute.” Need crashed over him in a wave of heat, and he gripped the top rail of the fence to keep from reaching for her.
“Not if you were serious about running your ranch, you wouldn’t.” She leaned against the top rail of the fence, staring out over the pasture. “I didn’t think I had the time or energy to deal with an attraction to an employee.”
“And now you do?”
“Now I don’t know what to think.” She finally looked over at him. “You make me forget my plans, forget what I need to do. I can’t think of anything else when you’re around.”
The need to touch her, to pull her close and refuse to let go, was a physical ache inside him. But he had to think about the reason he was standing here with Shea, had to think about why he had come to the Red Rock. “Are you always this painfully honest?”
She finally smiled. “It’s one of my worst failings. It’s gotten me in trouble more times than I can remember.”
“It’ll get you into trouble tonight, too,” he muttered. She looked back out over the pasture and slowly shook her head. “I don’t think so. If you can’t be honest with someone, you have no future together, anyway.”
Jesse felt a curl of fear in his gut, a fear he tried to ignore. His whole relationship with Shea was based on a lie. But they didn’t have a future to worry about, he told himself harshly.
“A little mystery never hurt anything,” he said lightly.
When she turned to look at him, her eyes were serious. “I’m not talking about the kinds of games lovers play. I’m talking about telling someone how you feel, making sure they know who you are, sharing yourself with them. I’m talking about fundamental stuff here, Jesse.”
“You don’t pull any punches, do you?”
Slowly her mouth curled up into a smile. “I don’t know how to,” she said. “And I’m betting that you’re pretty straightforward, too.”
“I can be pretty devious when I want to be,” he said.
She grinned. “Like when you tried to goad me into hiring you that first day? Telling me that I didn’t have the guts to go for it?”
He shrugged. “So that didn’t work. It was worth a try.”
“You were pathetically obvious. Here’s a tip—don’t quit your day job and try to get into undercover work. You’d be a miserable failure.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” His voice was expressionless, and he didn’t dare look at her.
Leaning back on the rail of the fence, looking out into the night, she said, “What do you want out of life, Jesse? Are you going to be a drifter forever? Are you going to find a place you like and end up like Joe and Dusty and Levi? Do you have aspirations to buy a place of your own?”
Just a few weeks ago he would have had a swift answer for her. Now he looked out over the dark pasture and hesitated. He wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore. He still believed justice was important, but his job at the Bureau seemed somehow unreal, part of another life. “I don’t know,” he said slowly. “I’m not sure what I want.”
He felt her gaze on him, but he didn’t turn his head. “I like what I do. It’s important to me. But I’ve enjoyed my time on the Red Rock more than I imagined I would.”
“You have a job here as long as you want one.”
Now he did look at her. “I thought I was on probation until Dusty and Joe were recovered.”
“You’ve done a good job. You’re reliable and trustworthy. and you work hard. Your probation is over.”
“If this is because of what’s happened between you and me,” he began, but she cut him off.
“This has nothing to do with you and me,” she said, her eyes blazing. “And you don’t know me very well if you could think it did. The Red Rock is more important to me than anything else. I would never jeopardize the ranch by keeping an employee who wasn’t pulling his weight.”
“Is that why you’re not married? Because you put the Red Rock before everything else?” He couldn’t stop himself from asking the question.
She didn’t answer for a long time. Finally, she said, “I guess I’m not the only one who says what they think.”
He shrugged. “It seems pretty obvious.”
“I don’t know, Jesse,” she said, her voice low as she stared into the night. “I guess it’s never been a priority of mine. And mostly I’ve been too busy to think about it.”
“Then obviously you’ve never met the right man.”
“Maybe not. But I’m not sure I’d know him if I did meet him.” She turned to look at him. “What about you?”
No one had ever asked him that question before. Even his mother never asked him when he was getting married. Certainly none of his colleagues at the Bureau would ever have the nerve to ask him about his personal life. But somehow, Shea’s question hadn’t felt intrusive or nosy. And he realized he wanted to answer her.
“I’ve never thought about it,” he said, his voice quiet in the dark. “I’ve never been in one place long enough to get involved. And even if I had, I was always focused only on my job.”
“We sound like a pair,” she said lightly. “A couple of workaholics.”
“Is your ranch going to be a comfort to you when you’re old and alone?” he asked.
“More than your job.” Her answer was swift. “At least I’ll have my land, my friends, my town. What will you have but memories of all the ranches where you worked?”
“Maybe that’s all I’ll need.”
“Then I feel sorry for you, Jesse.” Her voice was steady and sure, “A job, even one you do well, is cold comfort at best. And it’s no comfort at all when you’re too old to do it well.”
“Is that why you keep Joe and Dusty and
Levi around?”
“They’re family,” she said, her voice fierce. “They’ll be here until the day they die. Then they’ll be buried in the family plot.”
He had never met anyone like her. All her passions ran deep and true. Would she love the same way? An ache rose inside him, a need to know. He wanted to feel that passion of Shea’s, directed at him. He wanted to know if she gave herself as freely to the man she loved as she did to her ranch and her friends and family.
But he would never know. Because anything she gave him would be given to a facade, a lie who wasn’t the real Jesse Coulton. Anything she gave him would be given to a man who was lying to her. And he suspected that was the one thing Shea would not forgive.
“You need to get back to your bookkeeping,” he said abruptly.
She nodded slowly, but he didn’t miss the sadness in her eyes. Or the regret. And he knew it was for him. “You’re right. I do.” She moved toward the house. “I’ll see you in the morning,” she said.
Jesse stood by the fence and listened to her footsteps fade, then heard the door gently close. He was alone. He’d done the right thing and sent Shea into the house, away from him.
Maybe he’d been a fool, he told himself slowly. He had found no proof of any smuggling in the time he’d been on the ranch. And what he’d learned tonight about Kyle Diggett, their informant, had made him wonder about his story. The man had to hold a grudge against Shea. She’d caught him stealing, and fired him. Maybe his story had been nothing more than an attempt to cause trouble for his former boss. And a woman who had spurned him.
He thought about Shea sitting in her office, alone, going over her accounts, and he wanted to run to her, to gather her against him and never let go. He wanted her warmth, her loyalty, and her passion.
When he found himself walking toward the house, he stopped abruptly. He wanted to jump her bones, he told himself harshly. That was all there was to it. He lusted after her, and the rest was all camouflage.
He could resist lust. He’d resisted it before, and no doubt would resist it again. If Shea was innocent of the charges against her, and it looked like she was, he’d tell his bosses at the Bureau that they’d made a mistake, then move on to the next job.
The Fugitive Bride Page 13
