They stood naked in front of each other, but she wasn’t nervous anymore. All her nerves had vanished in the barn, when she’d felt his struggle for control. Jesse wanted her as much as she wanted him. And while he looked at her, she looked back at him.
“Don’t move.” Without taking his eyes off her, Jesse bent and pulled his wallet from his pocket. When he stood again, he held a foil packet in his hand.
Shea felt her face getting warm. “I didn’t even think about protection.”
“I did. I haven’t thought of much besides you since the first time I saw you,” he said, his voice heavy with desire.
He set the packet on her nightstand and took her hand, leading her to the bed. He touched her face. “I want you, Shea. But I saw the hesitation in your eyes. It’s not too late to say no.”
“I don’t want to say no,” she said, but something inside her melted at his words, something sweet that welled up and filled her heart. He might say he wouldn’t stay, he might say he didn’t want to get involved, but his words told a different story. And so did his eyes.
“Then come to me,” he said, and he held out his hand.
She took it without hesitation. When he pressed her down onto the bed, she opened her arms and her heart and welcomed him, holding him close. And when he covered her mouth with his, she tried to tell him everything her words couldn’t say.
She felt his muscles tremble with desire, felt him struggle for control. But he kept his promise His hands were everywhere, touching and caressing. When she moaned his name, he kissed her and touched her again.
Finally, when she felt like she would explode if he didn’t fill the empty place inside her, he moved over her. “I can’t wait another moment,” he said.
“Neither can I.”
When he slid inside her, she closed her eyes and said, “Jesse.”
Then he was moving and she couldn’t say anything at all. Pleasure wound more and more tightly inside her, spiraling out of control. “Jesse,” she gasped, and he reached down and touched her where their bodies were joined.
Waves of light exploded inside her, filling her, making her cry out again. He fused his mouth to hers, then shuddered as he joined her.
When the waves of pleasure finally receded and the roaring need inside him was temporarily satisfied, Jesse realized that he was sprawled bonelessly on top of Shea. Shifting so that she wasn’t bearing his weight, he pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her. Just for a moment, he could pretend they had a future. Just for a moment, he could pretend that this was the first of an infinite number of nights together.
Finally she opened her eyes and smiled at him. The look of stunned delight in her eyes made him lean over and kiss her again.
“I never knew,” she whispered, and he felt a small piece of his heart break off and tumble into her hands.
She’d given him everything tonight—her body, her trust, and, he was afraid, her heart. He’d do his best to guard it until he had to hand it back to her, broken into pieces.
“That was just the first lesson,” he whispered back. “Are you ready to move on to part two?”
“There’s more?”
“It appears that there is.” He slid over her, and her eyes widened as she felt the heavy weight of his arousal against her thigh.
“I didn’t know that could happen so fast again, either.”
He pressed her down into the bed with his kiss. “Neither did I, sweetheart.”
He woke fully aroused again to find that Shea was nibbling on his chest. But when he reached for her, she rolled away and sat up. She held the sheet to her chest and said, “I don’t mind if Maria finds out you were here with me last night. But if you’d rather not, we’d better get up now. Maria’s an early riser.”
For a long moment he hesitated. He wanted nothing more right now than to sink into Shea again, to feel her welcoming warmth, to feel whole again as they made love.
But instead he rolled out of bed. “I’ll go shower in my cabin. I’m not sure I want to face Maria just yet.”
Shea watched him dress, and the disappointment on her face was almost enough to make him stay. Almost, but not quite. With one more kiss he slipped out of her room and crept down the stairs. He heard activity from the back of the house, from what he assumed was Maria’s apartment, but there were no lights on in the house yet. He could hear Shea’s dog Buster snoring in the kitchen as he stepped out into the darkness.
A half hour later he was back, sharing a cup of coffee and breakfast with Shea in the dining room. Maria gave them both a sharp look when she removed the remains of their pancakes, but she didn’t say anything. Finally, after another cup of coffee, they both rose from the table and headed for the barn.
As soon as the door closed behind them, he grabbed her and pressed her to the wall, kissing her as if he needed her taste as much as he needed to breathe. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back.
“Good morning to you, too,” she said breathlessly when he lifted his head.
He didn’t want to let her go. She fit perfectly against him, and his arms ached to fold her closer. But he dropped a kiss on her head and stepped away.
“Is this where I ask you if you slept well?” he said, keeping his voice light.
She grinned at him as she grabbed a pitchfork. “I had a great night. How about you?”
“The best.”
Her grin faded, and she looked as if she was going to throw herself into his arms again. So he picked up a shovel and headed for the closest stall. “What’s on the schedule for today?”
She didn’t answer for the space of a heartbeat. Then she slipped into another stall and began cleaning it out. “I’d like to start moving some of the steers to the pastures we checked yesterday. We’ll keep the pregnant cows down here and move them closer to the house. Since the weather is cooperating, I’d like to get started. It’s going to take most of the week to get all the cattle moved and sorted.”
So it was back to business as usual. Why was he surprised? That’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? He’d asked her, and she’d told him. He tossed a shovel full of used straw and manure into the wheelbarrow with a violent flick of his wrist. He’d turned away when he thought Shea might start mooning around him. So why was he angry that she wasn’t?
Because he was an ass, he told himself harshly. That was the only explanation. Finishing one stall, he moved on to the next. When he was almost finished with that stall, he noticed Shea standing at the door, watching him.
“You’re shoveling so fast that your hands are a blur. This isn’t the Olympics of stall cleaning,” she said, her voice gentle. “What’s wrong?”
“Why does there have to be something wrong? I’m just trying to get the job done.”
“You look like you could eat nails and spit out rust.”
Jesse saw the uncertainty in her eyes, and he set his shovel against the side of the stall and reached for her. But before he could touch her, he realized that his hands were filthy. Letting them drop to his sides, he clenched his hands into fists to keep from touching her anyway.
“I’m sorry, Shea.” He hesitated, fumbling for the right words. “I guess I’m not sure how to handle all this. I’ve never been in this situation before. I’ve always made sure there wasn’t even a morning after, let alone having to work with my lover.”
The uncertainty faded slowly from her face, replaced by a smile that warmed her eyes to a brilliant blue. “This is new to me, too,” she said. “I don’t know what to do, either.”
“Then why don’t we keep it business during business hours?” he said. “That’ll make it easier for you. And for me.”
“All right.” She picked up her pitchfork again and flashed him a grin, the one that always seemed to land in his heart. “But I reserve the right to fool around once in a while.”
“Anytime you like.” He watched her turn back to her chore and battled the need that rose inside him.
He’d thought that afte
r they’d made love, the hunger would ease. But it was worse than ever. Now, he knew what they had together. Now, he knew exactly what it would be like. He closed his eyes until he could turn away from her, then began shoveling the stall again. He didn’t dare look over at Shea.
When they had finished cleaning the barn, Shea glanced at her watch, then headed for the house. “I’m ready for another cup of coffee. Let’s go sit down with Levi and Joe and Dusty and figure out a plan for today.”
The other three cowboys were finishing their breakfast when he and Shea walked into the dining room. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, Shea sat down with them and started talking. In fifteen minutes, they’d agreed on a plan to separate the pregnant cows from the steers in the first pasture. She glanced over at him.
“Does that sound okay to you, Jesse?”
He shrugged, moved that she would ask him but determined not to show it “You four know best. You’ve been doing this for a lot longer than I have.”
She nodded. “Okay. Let’s get rolling.”
Ten hours later they rode back into the barn, tired and dusty. Shea beamed at Dusty, who’d been given the task of counting the cattle, and Joe, who’d been responsible for opening and closing the gate. “I’m sure glad you two were back on your feet. I’m not sure how we would have done it without you.”
They would have done just fine, but Jesse saw how both men seemed to sit straighter in their saddles. Once again, a small piece of his heart broke off and flew in Shea’s direction. Not many people would have seen how important it was to two old men to be included.
As Joe, Dusty and Levi swung off their horses and led them away, she turned to him. “I’d like to get away from the ranch for a while. How would you feel about going into Cameron for dinner?”
“And miss one of Maria’s meals?” he said lightly.
“Janie Murphy does a pretty good job at her restaurant, Heaven on Seventh.” She let her gaze linger on him for a moment. “And I don’t feel like having four sets of eyes watching me tonight.”
Need stirred in him again at her words. He’d been careful all day, aware of the presence of the other men and reluctant to do anything that might embarrass Shea. Now he wanted nothing more than to be alone with her.
“That sounds okay to me,” he said cautiously.
“Great. I’ll meet you on the porch in a half hour, then.”
Chapter 11
Shea sat beside Jesse in the cab of his truck and looked over at him. His jaw was set and his face was hard. He’d barely said two words to her since they pulled out of the driveway of the Red Rock.
“Is something wrong?”
He glanced over at her, startled. “No. Should there be?”
“You look so...grim.”
He smiled at her then, and his whole face softened. Once again, he was her lover of the night before, the gentle, loving man she’d discovered beneath his hard exterior. “I was thinking about the town of Cameron.”
“Most people don’t look as if they’re going to a public execution when they think about Cameron.”
“Most of them aren’t going out to dinner in public with a woman who knows everyone in town,” he retorted.
“Are you worried about that?” She was astounded. She didn’t think Jesse cared what anyone thought of him.
“I don’t want anyone gossiping about you.” His eyes flashed. “Some of the people in town know who I am, know that I’m working for you. I don’t want to see anyone snickering at you.”
A wave of tenderness washed over her. “No one’s going to snicker at me, or at you, either, for that matter. Why should anyone care who I’m with?”
“I know how small towns are,” he said. “They thrive on gossip, on who’s seeing whom.”
“I guess the people in Cameron enjoy good gossip as much as anyone else. But I like to think we judge people by who they are, not what they do.”
He glanced over at her again. “I’ve eaten at Heaven on Seventh. It’s not like there’s a lot of privacy there.”
“We’ll see a lot of people I know. Is that going to bother you?”
“Not if it doesn’t bother you.”
“Why should it?”
He reached over and took her hand. “I’d like to take you to a fancy restaurant, where no one knows us, where we can sit close together and order something exotic for dinner.”
She leaned back against the seat, bringing his hand to her mouth. “I didn’t know you were so romantic, Jesse.”
He scowled. “I’m not. All I meant was, I’d like to eat somewhere that we could be alone.”
She felt her mouth curve up in a smile. “I would, too. Maybe later in the week we can take a picnic into the mountains.”
Heat flared in his eyes. “I’d like that.”
They were approaching the outskirts of Cameron, and Shea sat up straight in the seat. But she didn’t let go of Jesse’s hand. Pointing with her other hand, she said, “If you take that street there, you’ll avoid the rush hour.”
He smiled again, and her heart turned over in her chest. “I didn’t realize that Cameron had a rush hour.”
“We always have four or five vehicles lined up at the stop sign at this time of night,” she said with dignity. “That’s a rush hour as far as I’m concerned.”
He actually grinned. “Then let’s take the detour. I hate getting mixed up in traffic backups.”
A few minutes later they walked into Heaven on Seventh. Mandy, the waitress, smiled at Shea, and her eyes got bigger when she saw Jesse. “Hi, Shea.” She glanced at Jesse again. “Table for two?”
“Please, Mandy.”
Before they could sit down, the door opened again and Ben Jackson walked in. His dark gaze flickered from her to Jesse and back again. For just a moment, Shea saw speculation in their depths, then his face was impassive again.
“Hi, Shea.” He nodded to Jesse. “Coulton.”
“How are you, Ben?” she replied.
“Just fine. I hear Dev is settling things up in New York. He said they might be home for good in a couple of weeks.”
“That’s what he said last time he called.” Anxiety clutched at Shea’s chest again, as it had every time she’d thought about her brother coming home. Determined not to let Ben see, she smiled brightly. “I’m looking forward to seeing both him and Carly again.”
“It’ll be good to have him back at the office,” Ben agreed. “And speaking of people coming to Cameron, I understand you’re going to have a new neighbor.”
“Has someone bought the Hilbert ranch?” she asked eagerly. It had been left vacant when the previous owner, Phil Filbert, was sent to prison for the murder of her sister-in-law Carly’s brother.
“That’s what I heard. A man named Whittaker. Cole, I think it was.” Ben gave her a half smile. “Should be moving in next month. That’ll give you plenty of time to plan your welcoming party.”
“Does he have a family?” she asked.
Ben shook his head. “According to Minnie over at the realty office, he’s single.”
“I’m glad someone will be taking over the Tall T Ranch. I’ve hated seeing it sit vacant.”
“It won’t be vacant much longer.” Then his face tightened for a moment, and Shea felt him tense. When she turned around, she saw that Janie, the restaurant’s owner, was heading toward the front of the store. She stopped abruptly, as if she’d forgotten something, and turned to disappear once more into the kitchen.
Ben turned away. “I’ll talk to you later, Shea.” He said something in a low voice to the cashier, then walked out of the restaurant.
“What was that all about?” Jesse asked in a low voice.
“I’ll tell you later,” she murmured.
Mandy stood waiting to escort them to their table. As soon as they were seated, Jesse leaned across and said, “What’s going on with Jackson? Didn’t he come in here for dinner? Why did he walk out like that?”
Shea sighed. “It’s Janie Murphy, the owner of the
restaurant. She and Ben are like the same sides of two magnets. Every time they see each other, one of them runs in the opposite direction.”
Jesse leaned his elbows on the table. “Maybe I’m catching the gossip habit from Cameron, but do they have some kind of history?”
“I don’t think so. That’s what’s so strange. As far as anyone knows, they’ve hardly spoken two words to each other.”
“And someone in town would know if they had, right?”
She laughed. “You understand perfectly.”
They picked up their menus and ordered, then Shea leaned across the table. “I’m glad we came here, Jesse. I hope you don’t mind too much, but I had to get away from the ranch for a while.”
“I thought you loved the ranch.”
“I do. More than anything, but I didn’t want to sit and talk to Maria or Joe or Dusty or Levi tonight. I just wanted to be with you.”
She saw desire flare in his eyes, and felt an answering curl of passion inside her. “I have a feeling this dinner is going to take too damn long,” he growled
Anticipation swelled inside her, and she reached across the table to touch his hand. “Me, too,” she whispered.
He looked like he wanted to take her hand, but he slowly pulled away from her. “I can’t touch you in here,” he said, his voice low. “I wouldn’t be able to stop with just one touch. It’s been too long already since I held you.”
Shea shifted on the seat, his words arousing her, making her restless and edgy. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea,” she said softly.
Jesse smiled at her, his eyes glittering. “I think it was a great idea. Don’t they always say that anticipation is half the pleasure?”
“Not in this case.” Her voice was so soft that she wasn’t sure if he heard her. But when his eyes flashed in response, she knew that he’d heard.
“Shea!”
A delighted voice spoke next to her, and she looked up with a start to see her friend. “Abby!”
Shea leapt out of the booth to hug the woman who stood next to her, then hugged the man behind her. “Damien. How are you doing?”
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