She raised her chin. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re the most stubborn woman I know,” he said, sighing. “I should have known you wouldn’t be swayed by logic.”
“I made a very logical decision. It would hurt the children if I told you where they were. Therefore, I can’t tell you”
“Shea, I don’t want to leave like this.” The words felt like they’d been torn from his heart.
For a moment, he saw the pain in her eyes, and the sorrow Then she looked away. “Does this mean you’re not coming back?”
“I have to come back, and you know that. One way or another, I have to resolve this case. I can’t pretend that none of it happened.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I know you can’t.”
He took two steps toward her, then pulled her close. “I care about you, Shea,” he said into her hair. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Instead of pulling away from him, as he expected, she wrapped her arms around him and held him fiercely. Then she backed away. Her eyes glittered as she stared at him.
“When are you coming back?” she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.
“I don’t know. It depends on a lot of things.”
She nodded. “I’ll be waiting. I’m not going anywhere, Jesse. You know where to find me.”
Without saying anything more, she turned and slipped out of the cabin. As he stared after her, his heart seemed to crack open in his chest and tumble onto the floor.
She would be waiting for him to come back to the Red Rock and arrest her.
He hoped to God it wouldn’t come to that.
Chapter 16
Jesse stopped his truck on the driveway that led to the Red Rock Ranch and let the engine idle. It looked the same as it had a week ago. Cattle grazed in the pastures, the mountains standing guard over them. The barn was open, meaning someone was working inside, and two trucks stood in the yard. On the surface, nothing had changed.
But he knew better. Everything had changed at the Red Rock. Shea was waiting for him to return and arrest her. If he knew her, and he did, she had worked day and mght during the past week to get the ranch ready to function on its own.
He was the last person on earth she would want to see.
Setting his jaw, he shifted the truck into gear again and slowly drove toward the house She deserved to know what had happened in Washington, and he was selfish enough to want to see her again.
Before his truck had stopped in the yard, he saw her. She was in the corral with Demon, working the big black horse around the barrels. She hadn’t noticed his truck yet, so he sat and watched her for a while.
Shea bent low over Demon’s neck, urging him to go faster. The horse didn’t need much urging, Jesse thought, as he raced from one barrel to the next. There was no sign of the injury that had hobbled him after his last race, and Shea must have realized it. After she made the turn around the last barrel, she pulled him up. Jesse could see the smile on her face as she patted Demon’s neck and murmured something to him.
As she was swinging off the horse’s back, she looked up and saw his truck. She froze for a second, then continued her easy descent from Demon. Jesse got out of the truck and walked over to the corral.
“Hello, Jesse.” Her voice was even and her normally expressive face was carefully blank.
“Hi, Shea.” He nodded at Demon. “I’m glad to see he’s feeling better.”
Shea glanced down at his leg. “Becca gave me the go ahead to start working him a couple of days ago. I thought we’d better get in as much training as possible before...”
Her voice trailed off, and Jesse saw her hand tighten on the rems she held. “Anyway, he’s doing well.”
“Good.”
Shea wrapped the reins around the top rail of the corral and then looked directly at Jesse. “I don’t like games, Jesse. Tell me why you’re here.”
Another piece of his heart broke off at her words and her familiar directness. He knew he would always remember her as she looked right now, her wavy blonde hair streaming in the breeze, her chin lifted in defiance, and her bright blue eyes staring a hole through him.
“I thought you would want to know what happened when I talked to my bosses in Washington.”
“I assume it’s not good news, because you’re here in person.”
His heart clenched into a fist. “Isn’t it possible that I would come back because I wanted to see you, too?”
Her direct gaze never wavered. “I don’t know, Jesse. There’s a lot I don’t know about you, including how you really feel. For all I know, I was just a means to an end here at the Red Rock.”
He didn’t like being put on the defensive. And no one did it better than Shea. “You weren’t just a means to an end, Shea. Surely you know that. What I felt for you was real.”
“It couldn’t have been real, because it was based on a lie,” she shot back. “Everything you told me was part of your plan.”
“Not everything. I never planned on my feelings for you.”
This time he let his gaze lock with hers, and finally she looked away. “Go ahead and tell me what happened in Washington.”
“Why don’t we put Demon away first? I’ll help you.”
They worked together silently, their rhythms just as much in sync as they had been before he left. In a few minutes, Demon had been rubbed down and his lower leg had been wrapped to protect it while his foot continued to heal. Finally Shea walked out of his stall and leaned against the wall. “Shoot.”
“Don’t you want to go into the house?”
“Do you want everyone on the ranch to hear what you have to say?” She raised one eyebrow.
He didn’t want to talk to her in the barn. There were too many memories there, memories of the times he’d kissed her, the times they’d worked together, laughing and comfortable. But she was right. The house would be worse.
“I talked to a lot of people at the Bureau and at Immigration,” he said without preamble. “No one wants to send those children back to San Rafael, and no one wants to arrest you.”
“But,” she said as he hesitated.
“But we’re dealing with a politically sensitive issue here. San Rafael isn’t the only country in the middle of a civil war. It’s not the only country where there are children at risk. And bureaucrats don’t like to be caught pulling strings and breaking the rules.” His mouth thinned as he remembered some of the conversations he’d had in the past week.
“What does that mean?” Her voice was even.
“It means that no one is willing to say that the children can stay. But I was promised that heaven and earth would be moved to get them back here as soon as possible. Visas would be issued very quickly for any child sent back to San Rafael.”
Shea pushed away from the wall and bent to pick up Demon’s bridle. “In other words, nothing has changed.”
“No.”
When she straightened, Shea’s eyes were carefully blanked. “What happens now, Jesse?”
“Where are the children?”
Her jaw clenched. “They’re gone. They’ve all been reunited with their family members, and I won’t tell you where they are. So don’t even ask.”
“What about Rafael?”
“What about him?” Her jaw jutted forward.
“He didn’t have any family to sweep him away. Where did he go?”
She studied him for a moment, as if appraising what she could tell him. Her assessing look made his heart ache.
“Rafael is with Ben Jackson,” she finally said. “And that’s where he’s staying.”
Jesse frowned. “He’s actually living with Jackson?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
Jesse shrugged. “Nothing, I guess. I just got the impression that Jackson was uncomfortable around him.”
Shea hesitated, then she nodded. He saw the uncertainty in her eyes. “I think he is. It’s almost like he won’t allow himself to get close to Rafael. B
ut Rafael adores him.” She smiled at the memory. “And I think Ben is finding Rafael hard to resist.”
“What’s going to happen to Rafael?”
“I was hoping that Ben would adopt him.” Her smile dimmed. “But I suppose you’ll have some say in that.”
“Do you think I’m going to snatch the boy away from Jackson?” he demanded.
Slowly, reluctantly, she shook her head. “I don’t think you’d do that, Jesse. I’d like to think so, but I can’t.”
“Why would you want to think something like that?”
She gave him a humorless smile. “It’s much easier to hate someone capable of doing evil.”
“I don’t want you to hate me, Shea,” he whispered.
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t hate you.”
He couldn’t stop himself. “Then what do you feel for me?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, does it?” For an instant, he saw the pain in her eyes, a deep, soul-searing pain. Then she stepped past him into the tack room to put the bridle away.
When she stepped out of the tack room, her eyes were carefully blank again. “What happens now, Jesse?”
“Nothing, yet.”
“I thought there were only two things you could do—either bring the children in, or bring me in. Since the children aren’t available, that leaves me. When do we have to leave?”
“Neither of us is going anywhere just yet.” He’d known Shea wouldn’t give up the children, so he’d come up with a plan. Now he’d have to see if his plan would work. “I have an idea, but it’s going to take time.”
He saw hope flare in her eyes, along with a light that made his heart leap. He wanted to reach out to her, to pull her close and tell her that everything would be fine, but he didn’t have the right. So he clenched his hands into fists and shoved them into the back pockets of his jeans. The light in her eyes died.
“Will you trust me, Shea?”
“I don’t have much choice, do I? I’d say you were calling all the shots right now.”
“Will you at least believe that I don’t want to hurt you?”
“I’ve never believed you wanted to hurt me. But your job, who you are, is completely opposed to who I am and what I’m doing.” She shrugged. “And your job obviously comes first.”
Her words were another tiny tear in his soul. She was right. When he’d come to the Red Rock, his job had been all he cared about. But everything had changed. And it had changed because of Shea.
He ached to tell her so, but knew that he couldn’t. Not yet, anyway. It was time for actions, not words. He didn’t deserve a future with Shea if he couldn’t fix what he’d done.
“I’m going to head back to Cameron. I have a lot of things to do.”
“Where are you staying?” There was only cool inquiry in her eyes.
“Is there anywhere to stay besides Melba Corboy’s?” His voice was dry.
A faint smile flickered across her face, and then was gone. “Stupid question.”
He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to leave her here, alone, worried about what would happen.
But if he didn’t go, nothing would change. “Can you trust me, Shea?” he asked again. “Trust me to make everything all right?”
“I want to, Jesse,” she whispered.
But she couldn’t. The words were unspoken, but he understood. He’d betrayed her once, and it was hard to trust after that.
He nodded, his heart aching for what he’d done to her. “I’ll see you soon, Shea.”
She started to say something, then closed her mouth and nodded. “Take care.”
“You, too.”
He climbed into his truck and drove out of the yard without looking back. He was afraid that if he looked at Shea, he would stop the truck and beg her to forgive him. And he refused to do that. He refused to ask for forgiveness until he had something concrete to offer her.
He prayed it would be soon.
It didn’t take long to stop at Melba Corboy’s house and ask for a room. The older woman stared at him suspiciously for a moment, and he was afraid she’d heard what happened out at the Red Rock, afraid she’d refuse to let him stay. But finally she opened the door and motioned him in. When he told her he didn’t want meals, she actually smiled at him.
When he walked in the door of the Cameron Weekly Sentinel office a while later, Carly McAllister was sitting at a desk, scowling at a computer. He watched her for a moment. She was so absorbed in what she was doing she hadn’t even noticed him. When he cleared his throat, she jumped and spun around.
“You startled me!”
“Sorry. I didn’t know how else to get your attention.” To his surprise, she grinned at him. “I do tend to be focused.” Her gaze sharpened and her smile faded. “You’re that FBI agent who was working at the ranch.”
“That’s me.” He hesitated, unsure how to approach her, then decided to dive in. “I have a problem, and I think you can help me.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Why would I want to do that?”
He pulled up a chair and told her.
It had been five days since Jesse returned to Cameron. He’d driven away from the ranch without looking back, and Shea hadn’t seen him since that first day.
He was still in Cameron. Levi had reported just yesterday that he’d seen Jesse eating lunch at Heaven on Seventh. She had acted unconcerned, but the ball of anxiety that had lodged in her chest grew a little bigger.
Jesse had asked her to trust him. She wanted to, desperately, but it was hard to hold onto her faith with so little substance to sustain her. As far as she could tell, Jesse was staying at Melba’s, eating at Heaven on Seventh, and just waiting.
Was he waiting for her to change her mind and tell him where the children were? She couldn’t believe that. Jesse knew her well enough to know she’d never give the children up. Was he waiting for Ben to get tired of Rafael, and agree to turn him over?
Jesse wouldn’t do that to Rafael. She wouldn’t even allow herself to consider the possibility. Her thoughts raced around in her mind, tripping over themselves, keeping her awake at night and making her close to useless for working during the day.
What was Jesse doing?
Fifty times she’d grabbed her keys to head into Cameron to confront him. And fifty times she’d stopped herself, replaced the keys on the hook by the front door, and forced herself to stop.
She was afraid of what would happen if she went to Jesse. She had been appalled by her reaction when he’d driven into the Red Rock five days ago. Her heart had leapt in her chest, and she’d had to stop herself from jumping into his arms.
Because nothing had changed. She knew he’d tried to make a deal with his bosses in Washington, but no deal had been forthcoming. And Jesse wasn’t the kind of man who could walk away, leaving his job unfinished. Jesse was going to have to make a choice, and she was afraid she knew which one it would be. As an honorable man, he would do his job.
Throwing herself into the swing on the front porch, she picked up the mail that Maria had left sitting on the table. Focus magazine was on the top of the pile, and she idly began thumbing through the pages.
The name Utah in the title of a story caught her eye, and she began reading. Moments later, she shot out of her seat, staring at the magazine with incredulous eyes. Hurriedly she finished reading, then threw the magazine on the floor and raced to her truck.
The truck had barely stopped on Main Street when she leapt out and ran into the Cameron Weekly Sentinel office. “Where’s Carly?” she asked June Hanson, Carly’s office manager.
“She was here until early this morning, getting the paper out. If she has any sense, she’s home in bed.”
Without answering, Shea dashed out the door and ran across the street to the sheriff’s office. When she burst through the door, Marge the dispatcher looked up, startled.
“Where’s my brother?” she demanded.
“I think he’s at Heaven with that nice FBI agent,” Marge said.
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Shea ran out the door and around the corner, heading for the restaurant. When she ran through the door she saw that the restaurant was half-full, even though it was the middle of the afternoon. Stopping, she drew in a lungful of air and surveyed the restaurant, looking for Jesse and Dev.
They were sitting in the corner booth with Ben Jackson, and all three men looked like they were getting along just fine. Shea marched over to the booth.
“Well, isn’t this cozy?” She glared at her brother. “I’m glad to see you’re enjoying yourself with the man who’s trying to put me in prison.” She stared hard at him, then looked at Jesse. “What’s going on?”
Jesse smiled at her, apparently unconcerned. “There’s something we’d like you to see.”
He pulled out a copy of Focus magazine and handed it to her. She waved it away.
“I’ve already seen it. What I want to know is, why?”
Jesse’s face softened. “Sit down, Shea. People are looking.” He grabbed her hand and tugged her into the booth next to him. He held onto her hand, and although she told herself to pull away, she couldn’t do it. He curled his fingers around hers and held tight, and she began to warm. She’d been cold for so long.
“Did you read the article?” Jesse asked.
“I did. How did you persuade Carly to write it?”
“I didn’t have to persuade her. I just told her the facts, and she took it from there.”
Shea grabbed the magazine and read the title of the article. “Small Town in Utah the Stage for Big Drama. Will the Government Force Refugee Children to Go Home Again?” She set the article down. “This is a national magazine. Everybody in the country who reads this article is going to be howling about what the big, bad, unfeeling government is doing to these helpless children.”
Jesse smiled again. “That was the idea.”
She turned to Devlin. “And you agreed?”
He gave her a wry grin. “I don’t recall having a vote. But I’m glad Carly wrote the article.”
Shea could only stare at him. “For the past six months I’ve been terrified of what would happen when you found out what I was doing. Do you mean you’re not angry?”
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