by L A Cotton
“I’m a mess.” It came out hushed, and I was unable to hide the slight tremor to my voice.
“What? Why?”
“Why do you think? You’ve been at their house, playing happy families with him. With her. And I’ve been stuck in my room all week alone, with nothing to do but imagine all the things you could be getting up to…” My voice trailed off. I sounded hysterical, I knew that, but it was like I couldn’t breathe when Jackson wasn’t around.
Jackson’s fingers stroked up to my cheek and he dug them into my hair, holding me firm. “Ana, listen to me very carefully. I do not want Briony. There is and will never be anything between Briony and me. You have nothing to worry about.” He sighed, raking his free hand through his hair. It had grown, falling over his eyes a little. “Shit, I didn’t think how hard it would be for you. I should have tried to come by and see you. I’m sorry. We knew this wasn’t going to be easy.”
I tried to swallow the tears filling my eyes, but a couple escaped, and Jackson swiped his thumb over them. “Hey, come on. We have the next couple of days all to ourselves. And I have something for you.”
He broke his hold on me and walked to the rear of the car, popping the trunk. He rummaged inside, closed the lid, and walked back to me. He was holding a small, aqua blue gift bag. My eyes widened with recognition. “Jackson, what is this?”
“A gift. It’s Christmas, remember?”
He held out the bag and my hands took it, shaking as they gripped the white rope. I used one hand to hold the bag open and reached inside to pull out its contents. Jackson took the bag from me while I ran a finger over the matching box. My heart was pounding in my chest so hard I felt sure that Jackson could hear it. He watched me, a lazy smile on his face. I lifted the lid, and all my fears melted away. The sterling silver infinity bracelet was beautiful.
“I- I don’t know what to say. It’s beautiful, but you shouldn’t have. I mean, you didn’t have to.”
Jackson’s smile grew bigger. “I know that I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. Things are fucked up, I know that. But I want you to know how I feel about you. And I would be a shitty boyfriend if I didn’t get my girlfriend a present. It’s like boyfriend one-oh-one or something.”
Boyfriend? He was referring to us as boyfriend and girlfriend now? I blinked, replaying his words in my head. Yeah, he had definitely said it.
“You okay over there? You look like you’re going to either jump my bones or puke.”
I stifled a laugh. “I’m just a little overwhelmed. The bracelet, the boyfriend-girlfriend declaration.”
Jackson was on me in a second, pushing me up against the side of the car. “Ana, what the fuck do you think we’ve been doing?” He voice was so severe that I flinched.
“I wasn’t sure what we were,” I whispered.
“For the last time, how many times do I need to spell this out? You. Are. Mine.” His lips slammed onto mine and I gasped into his mouth, gripping onto the small box. It was like he had a switch, and when it flipped, he was demanding and possessive. I would be lying if I said it didn’t intimidate me a little.
When Jackson finally pulled back, our chests were heaving between us. “Sorry.” His expression softened. “I just can’t help myself around you. Here, let me.” He took the bracelet out of the box and clasped it around my right wrist. It wasn’t lost on me that he had chosen to place it over my scar. “There, perfect.” He pressed a quick kiss to my wrist. “Come on, we’re going to be late.”
~
Otis and Velma’s house was on the outskirts of Tillamook, nestled between Reibeckitt and Chastity Falls. It was a white-clad one-story with huge firs cloaking one side. There was a rundown boat in the front yard and an ancient looking wind vane attached to the roof. I smiled at the worn reindeer standing lopsided on the porch.
It had only taken us thirty minutes to stop for gas and then drive to the house, and with each mile that we passed, my nerves started to set more on edge. What was I thinking; turning up with my boyfriend—that had to remain a secret because of his psycho family—to the other people he considered family.
“Hey, they’ll love you. You okay?” Jackson reached across the seat and squeezed my hand.
I nodded, chewing the inside of my mouth, and he smiled back at me, his green eyes sparkling. “Ana, thank you. For coming with me. It means a lot.”
I nodded again, trying to fight back the urge to run, but Jackson came around to my door and helped me out before collecting our bags from the trunk.
“Well, if it isn’t our Jax. Otis, get your hiney out here. Jax is home,” a woman’s voice called out, and I looked up to see an older woman with greying hair and wrinkled eyes smiling and waving in our direction.
Upon seeing her, Jackson dropped our bags and rushed to her, scooping her tiny frame up in his arms and spinning her around.
“Jackson Michael Pierce, put me down this instant.”
I smiled as I watched them. Jackson had reverted to his playful, less serious self, and I could see the love he had for this woman radiating off him.
“Sorry, V.” He dropped Velma to her feet and extended his arm for her. “I have someone I would like for you to meet. This is my girlfriend, Ana. Savanah Parry.”
Velma smiled warmly at me, and I felt some of my nerves dissipate. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. My, my, you have a beautiful soul.” She looked from me, up to Jackson. “You did good, boy. Make sure you are treating her right.”
Jackson laughed just as the front shutter clanged. I turned to see Otis making his way down to us. “Well, well, look what the cat dragged in. How you doing, boy? Miss Parry.” Otis nodded at me and cracked a lopsided smile. “Don’t just stand there. Come in, come in.”
We followed Otis and Velma inside. The house was exactly like I had imagined it—dated but full of character. Shelves lined the walls, full of fishing memorabilia, model ships, and nautical trinkets. There were lines of twinkle lights weaved in and out of them, making everything sparkle. I was busy admiring an oil painting of a fishing vessel battling an angry sea as Velma came up next to me. “Otis loves the sea, grew up on it with his pa.”
“How long have you been married?”
“Forty-four years. A lifetime, girl, but I love that man more and more with every passing day.” Velma’s voice was so full of affection, I felt a little uncomfortable. “Now, you tell me, darlin’, is he treating you right? I’ve known that boy since he was in diapers. You tell me if he isn’t, and I’ll smack him upside that dumb head of his.”
I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. Shaking my head, I said, “He’s very loyal and protective. To be honest, he’s a little intense at times.”
Something flashed in Velma’s eyes, and she made a grunting sound deep in her throat like she disagreed with me. I didn’t get a chance to ask her why because two arms wrapped around me and Jackson nestled his head in the crook of my shoulder. “Let’s get unpacked then I can give you the grand tour.”
Velma’s caginess disappeared, replaced by a half smile as she watched us. “You kids get settled. Lunch is almost ready.”
Jackson wrapped his hand around mine and pulled me down the hallway. I didn’t understand Velma’s reaction to what I had said. Clearly, the woman loved him.
“See, I told you that they’d love you.” Jackson pushed open the last door and flicked his head, beckoning me to walk into the room first. I heard him click the door shut as I surveyed the small room… and a very small bed.
“Umm, Jackson, where are we going to sleep?”
He looked from me to the bed and a slow grin spread over his face.
“You’re kidding, right? There’s no way we can sleep in that.”
“Wanna bet?” I squealed as he picked me and flung us both onto the bed. The old mattress cushioned my fall, cocooning me as Jackson landed firmly on top of me. “See, no problem.”
I tried to push him off with my hands planted firmly against his strong chest. But when my eyes locked with hi
s, desire pulsed through me, and Jackson wasted no time using my emotions to his advantage. His lips crashed with mine, his hands skimming my waist, digging with just the right amount of pressure.
“Fuck, I wish we were alone right now,” he murmured against my lips, and I pulled him closer.
“We kinda are,” I pleaded, needing him.
He kissed me again, and then chuckled. “You don’t know them like I do.”
And like a bucket of cold water, a gruff voice called from outside the door, “This food won’t eat itself.”
I let Jackson pull me up off the bed, helping me smooth down my hair. The last thing I wanted was to turn up at lunch with almost-just-had-sex hair. We made our way into the kitchen, where Velma was busy laying out what could only be described as a feast.
“Something smells good, V.” Jackson picked up a dish and carried it over to a small table.
“Can I help with anything?” I asked, feeling like an outsider in their familiarity with one another like they did this on a regular basis.
“No, sugar. Just get washed up and take a seat.”
Once we were all seated, Otis led the table in saying grace. It wasn’t really my thing—any shred of faith that I had disappeared the day I woke up alone in that hospital bed—but I respected their traditions and bowed my head.
Otis ended on Amen and said, “Let’s eat.”
At first, conversation flowed easily. Otis and Velma grilled Jackson about college and asked me about how I like Chastity Falls. I noticed that they didn’t ask about my family or where I was from. I guessed Jackson must have clued them in.
But when Velma asked Jackson if he’d had a nice Christmas, the mood changed. It was like a black cloud had descended over the table, and Jackson shot her a look. I had seen that look before. It was a warning. Otis muttered something under his breath, making no attempt to hide his contempt.
“Otis Black, the Donohues have been nothing but good to Jax. Less of your huffing and a puffing. We have company.” Velma looked at me, her eyes downturned.
“You should listen to the lady, Otis,” Jackson joked, but I could tell that it was a forced attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere.
Otis threw his knife and fork onto his plate and leaped up out of his chair. “I got nothing good to say about that man. And this is my house, Velma. If I want to huff and puff, I will. You hear me?”
I sat, unsure what to say or do, and fiddled with my napkin. Velma uttered her apologies for her husband’s behavior and chased off after Otis. Jackson started clearing away the dishes as if nothing had happened. Until he brought his fist down on one of the plates so hard that it smashed. “Fuck.” He inspected his hand, and then scrubbed it over his jaw. “I just wanted this to be about you and me. Not them. Not today.”
I walked to him, opening my arms for him to come to me. Instead, Jackson scooped me up and feathered my face with kisses. “I’m sorry. He’ll come around. He always does. Hey, let’s get out of here for a couple of hours.”
~
Jackson and I left the Blacks’ house and walked the short distance to the beach. It was cold out, and Jackson wrapped his arm around me. My head was swimming with questions, and we strolled along the rocks lining the beach in silence, both lost in our own thoughts.
Being with Jackson was draining and exhilarating all at the same time. He wanted to be with me, but we couldn’t tell anyone. We both had secrets, and we were giving each other space to reveal them in our own time. It was exhausting.
“Hey.” He nuzzled my hair. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Just thinking…” I let the words linger. “Why is Otis the only person who calls you Jax?”
“My dad called me Jax. Back then, everyone called me Jackson, except him. It was like his way of making it known that I was special, and that I was his boy. When he died, Otis started calling me Jax and has ever since. I think it’s been his way of holding onto Dad. It was a family thing.”
I nodded, staring out the vast ocean, and Jackson said, “You want to know why Otis said what he said, don’t you?”
We reached a wooden bench and sat down, and I twisted my body slightly so I could see Jackson’s face, shuffling closer to try to escape the bitter wind.
“When Dad died, Otis and Velma wanted to take me in, but Marcus wouldn’t hear of it. He already considered himself my uncle of sorts. Before Otis and Velma could petition the court, Marcus had sealed the deal. I was placed under his guardianship. Otis never forgave him.”
“Why didn’t Otis want you to go live with them?”
“Otis knew all about the kinds of business that Marcus and my dad were involved with. He never liked it, but he had known Dad since he was just a boy. He would never turn his back on him, even tried to help him get out once. He knew Dad didn’t want that life for me, but Uncle Marcus wasn’t about to turn his back on his best friend’s son. His partner’s son.”
Something wasn’t adding up. Jackson didn’t seem to question any of his screwed-up past, but I had seen the look in Otis’s eye and there was more to it.
“Jackson, how did your dad die?”
Jackson was fixated on our hands, linked in his lap. I could see it was hard for him to open up like this. “There was an accident. Dad was out on a job with Marcus, things went bad, and he didn’t come back.”
“And by job, you mean you don’t know or you can’t tell me?”
He heaved a big sigh, avoiding my eyes. “Something like that. You’ve heard the rumors about the Donohues… people usually don’t start rumors without there being some truth there. I might wish things were different and that I wasn’t involved with the family business, but they’re all I’ve ever known, Ana. They are my family.”
Hearing Jackson say the words hurt so much that I dropped my eyes, trying to gain some control. How could we ever hope to have a normal relationship when he was so loyal to his family? How could I ever ask him to choose me instead of them? Would there ever be a choice in his eyes?
“Hey, look at me.” He lifted my chin with his hand and forced me to face him. “They might be my family, but you, Savanah Parry, are what I want now. I just need time to figure some shit out.”
Jackson’s declaration didn’t just steal my words… they stole my heart.
Chapter 19
It had been a whole month since we spent the weekend with Otis and Velma, and things were okay. Hell, they were better than okay. Things between us were great. They only sucked when we left the bubble of my dorm room. After our chat at the beach, Jackson had promised that he was going to try to find a way for us to be together—officially. He didn’t give me any details, just that I had to ‘trust him to handle it’. So far, he had handled nothing.
I was no longer worried about falling for him. I was past that point—I had fallen deep. Now I was worried about what would happen when it all went to shit. I spent my days going to class and hanging out with Elena and the others, but I was rarely present, apart from in the physical sense. My mind would be counting down until the next time Jackson could sneak out to see me, to crawl into bed beside me and make me feel. Elena reassured me that it was normal to feel insatiable in the early days of a relationship. I knew she was right because I had felt it once before. But it was still different with Jackson. He had become my crutch—and it scared the hell out of me.
The door rattled, and I quickly shuffled the papers into a manila folder, tucking it under my pillow.
“Morning, chica. How’s lover boy? Do I get to find out who he is yet?” Elena winked, before heading into our shared bathroom. Recently, she had given me a break about revealing the secret identity of my 'mystery guy'. I think she was just relieved that I was normal and felt like it was a step in the right direction or something. Of course, it didn’t stop her from asking a lot of questions.
She sauntered back into the room and dropped onto her bed, not that she ever spent any time in it. “So, T and Jarrod have gone public, but Kyler didn’t se
em too impressed when we ran into them at Dante’s on Saturday night. Everyone’s waiting for Reibeckitt to make their next move. It’s coming… and T has the impression that it’s going to be big. Even I got a little scared listening to some of her insider stories. Cole Calder isn’t a guy you want to cross.”
And Braiden is? I didn’t say the words aloud. I had spent the last three weeks digging up as much information as I could on the Donohue’s, the contents of my search currently burning a hole in the cushion. After finding out about Jackson’s dad dying in an accident, and the rift between Marcus Donohue and Otis Black over guardianship of Jackson, I’d had a feeling there was something more at play. But so far, all I had uncovered was a list of the Donohue’s misdemeanors and involvement in various criminal activity in the area.
Since the early fifties, the Donohues had been a part of Chastity Falls history. They owned the town; the police, local judges, even the dean at CFA. There was evidence that pointed to them all being on the Donohue’s payroll. Newspapers regularly speculated on their drug and money laundering activities, but Marcus Donohue covered it all up with his legitimate construction company. It seemed that over the years, the Donohues established themselves in the town; providing jobs, development opportunities... and a certain level of safety. Donohue looked after his town, and its residents repaid in kind. Whenever someone pointed a finger in his direction, the town closed ranks.
Elena wasn’t wrong, though. Cole Calder wasn’t a guy you wanted to cross. After running a Google search on Jackson’s family, I had stumbled across a report on the ongoing feud with the Calders of Reibeckitt. Cole was nephew of Declan Calder, Reibeckitt’s equivalent of Marcus Donohue. From the sketchy reports, I gathered that the two had been fighting over business for years, since they were just young men themselves. Declan’s son, Trey, was the guy to call a truce with Braiden when they were in high school, but Cole was a loose cannon, and Braiden was a spark just waiting to ignite. Although, from what I had heard from Paul and Talia, Braiden's younger cousin, Roman, was all too willing and ready to shake things up.
