“What is in that file Riley sent?” I ask, suddenly regretting that I didn't read it before.
“He details the crop yield for the past five years and the methods they are using. He also gives the number of people in the population and he has calculated the number of people that the town can support. That's what I’ve been waiting for. It's really amazing,” he answers.
“Dawn, you are dismissed,” Miranda says. She wants to have a word with the General in private.
“No, Miranda. Dawn still has to make her report,” he says.
She glares at him.
“Later,” she says.
He sighs and says, “fine. Dawn, you can go.”
As I walk away, I still can’t believe that woman used to be my mother.
Chapter 23: Dawn
“How'd it go?” Drew asks as soon as I set foot in the hall. He's been waiting for me but I can't even begin to process and understand everything, let alone explain it to him. I grab his hand, needing something solid to hold on to. I don't know when he became that person for me but I no longer worry about our relationship. I don't feel the jealousy or insecurity that I used to feel. I don't wonder why he chose me. That question used to be on a constant loop through my head but it doesn't seem so important anymore. I believe that he loves me and that is enough.
It's the other people in my life that I worry about now. I can't decide if my parents are trustworthy and I don't want to spend enough time around them to find out. My father was responsible for much of what happened in Floridaland. He knew what was going on in those slave camps. Hell, he was in charge of the soldiers that did awful things to the slaves.
A rumor has circulated around Rebel base that my mother, Miranda, blew up a tube station that was packed with civilians. That's why she was sent here. I don't know if being assigned to the colonies was for her own safety or if it was a reward. Am I part of a group that rewards mass murder?
Then there is the one member of my family that I've counted on my whole life. Gabby. My sister killed someone right in front of me on our way to base and she didn't see what was so wrong about that. It just drove her deep into the Rebel mentality. Killing is okay when it serves the Rebel purpose. I didn't ask where Gabby was assigned. I knew she wouldn't be at base doing nothing.
I realize I haven't answered Drew's question and he's looking at me expectantly.
“Can we not talk about this right now?” I ask. “I just want to shower and get some sleep.”
“Fine Dawn. Just, fine,” he says as he shakes his head and leaves me outside the showers. I don't have the energy to talk right now.
I wake to a shift in my bed as someone sits on the end of it. Opening my eyes, I'm relieved to see Matty. He has a huge grin on his face and I answer it with one of my own. This is different from the kid I knew before. That kid had just watched his father die in front of him. Matty was the son of farmers who were unlucky enough to be forced into action by Texan soldiers. They were looking for me and my sister. Gabby shot his father without a second thought.
“I heard you went to the Wastelands,” he says. “Were they horrible?”
Pretty much everyone that grows up in the colonies knows the stories of what lay beyond the charred outer rim of the Wastelands. They grow up terrified of the freedom fighters, who steal from their farms and ambush their people.
What isn't told in the stories is that the heart of the Wastelands beats with the pulse of a thriving people. That has been kept secret. Riley and his people have put in a lot of effort to remain hidden behind the protection of their fierce warriors.
“You want to see something cool?” I ask the young boy.
He nods, excited. I take his hand and lead him down the hall to the clinic. They're keeping Hunter isolated while they make sure he hasn't brought us some disease. I was so narked when I heard about it but Hunter doesn't seem to mind.
There is a large window looking into Hunter's room and Matty stops as soon as he sees where we're going. His face tells it all. He's terrified.
“Do you want to stay out here?” I ask him.
He shakes his head and grips my hand tightly. The doctor stops me as I get to the door. I expect to be turned back but instead, he opens the door for us.
“His results are clean,” the doctor tells me. “You can take him out of here.”
The clinic staff wants him gone because his presence is making them nervous. They remember the ambushes that have killed so many Rebel soldiers. I remember those too. I was almost killed in one. I don't understand a lot of things about these people but I know we need them on our side. We need to move on from the past. That is why I befriended Hunter.
“Hey,” I say as I enter the room. “Matty, this is Hunter.”
Matty shrinks back as Hunter stands and walks towards him. To my surprise, he crouches down so that he is eye to eye with the scared boy.
“Hello, Matty,” Hunter says as he extends a hand. Matty hesitates before taking it and Hunter stands up straight.
“Doc says you can go,” I tell him. “We'll take you somewhere that you can shower and then get a nosh.” I look him up and down. “If the General wants you to stay here, you're going to need to wear more clothes.”
His lips curve up slightly. I have learned how to act with this big man and he is not as intimidating as he tries to be. The clinic seems full today and I stop when I recognize one of the patients.
“Lucas,” I say as I round the corner of his bed.
“He's sedated,” a voice behind me says.
I turn and Officer Grace Mills walks past me and sinks into a chair by the bed.
“What's wrong with him?” I ask, very aware that I have not seen Grace or Lucas in quite a while.
“He's sick,” she says quietly, glancing at Hunter behind me.
I sense that now is not the time to catch up so we leave without any real answers. I can't get Lucas out of my head but there isn't anything I can do.
Hunter comes out of the bathroom wearing the clothes I found for him and I can't help but laugh. The cotton pants only reach halfway down his calves and the shirt is tight across his chest. Even Matty, who is still afraid of this man, is laughing hysterically. Hunter's face is stony and he says nothing as we enter the mess and sit down to eat. The other soldiers avoid our table like the plague but Matty doesn't seem to notice as he witters on and on about everything that has happened since I left. All of it is through a little boys eyes so I figure I'll get more details from Drew later.
Matty tells me that people have been coming and going quickly. Gabby hasn't been back since I left. Lee and Jeremy have been gone as well. I wonder what they're doing right now. Matty has learned that there are two prisoners at base but he doesn't know who they are. I do. Tia Cole and Jonathan Clarke. The Texan “prophet” and the Rebel leader who some are saying was never right in the head. He just had everyone fooled.
I am relieved that Jeremy is on assignment. When I left, he was in critical condition in the clinic. Jonathan Clarke had beaten him senseless before throwing us into a cell for days. Along with a few others, Jeremy and I captured Tia Cole. I don't know if we did any good though because the Rebels still managed to destroy Baton Rouge and kill a lot of people.
I realize I've zoned out when I hear Matty say, “and there's this Mexican boy here that they're training me with.”
“Training you?” I interrupt.
“Yeah, it's so cool. I'm gonna be a soldier!” he exclaims.
I shoot to my feet so quickly that I almost knock our table over. Hunter gets up to follow me but I wave him away. I wind through the tables at a run and collide with Drew as he enters the room.
“Hey Dawn,” he says as he grabs my arm. “I want to talk to you.”
“Not now,” I say.
“Are you ever going to trust me enough to tell me what's going on?” he asks.
“Not now!” I yell again as I pick up the pace and head straight for my father's office.
His aide tries to
stop me but I push past her and barge through the door. The General looks up from a meeting with a few of his officers. His expression goes from annoyed to curious as soon as he sees me.
“We'll pick this up later,” he tells the other men in the room. They leave swiftly.
“You're training them?” I growl as soon as we are alone.
“Who?” he asks tiredly. “Tell me Dawn, what is it you have a problem with now?”
“You are training kids to fight!” I yell.
“What is it that you think we should do with them?” he asks, not waiting for an answer. “Dammit, Dawn, we are in the middle of a war. There are two Texan cities that we are trying to stabilize and refugees from a third city to deal with. There is a cease fire with Mexico that hangs by a thread. The troops in Floridaland are splintered and the awful slave camps are still operational. There are people to feed with dwindling crops. In the midst of all of this, there is a timer. The English evacuations start soon and there are things that need to be done before that happens. We need every able body we can get our hands on. They need to be trained to protect themselves and to fight for the real prize: an end to all of this. I don't have time for your indignant, naive, self-imposed missions.”
I leave without another word. He's right but I picture little Matty holding a gun and get chills. All of the people in command must have heard every word and now they watch me as I leave. I don't know if I’ve ever felt more useless than I do right now. I don't belong in a war. I don't know where I do belong, but it’s not here. I get to my bunk and crawl into bed without speaking to anyone and start to cry. I can't stop the tears and my pillow is soaked in no time. My chest heaves as I breathe heavily.
I don't know how long I’ve been laying here when Drew squeezes in next to me and snakes an arm underneath my head. I curl into him as he strokes my hair and am asleep in no time.
Chapter 24: Dawn
“Morning,” I say as Drew sits at the foot of the bed pulling on his boots.
“Are you going to tell me why you were so upset last night?” he asks.
“Thanks for being there,” I respond instead of answering his question.
“Right,” he says as he gets up. He's angry.
“Drew, stop,” I say, reaching for his hand. He lets me take it and intertwine my fingers with his.
If there is one person I should be trusting, it's Drew. How can you love someone without first trusting them? I pull him back down to sit on the bed.
“I'm pretty naive, Drew,” I say as he starts to protest, but I put a finger to his lips. “No, just listen. I'm not someone who can make the hard decisions. Half the time I don't even know what the right thing is. I knew that when I left without a word to help Ryan find his sister it would hurt you and it would hurt Gabby.”
“We were only hurt because you didn't ask us to come,” he says before pausing. “You didn't ask me to come.”
“I was defying orders to do an off book mission,” I say.
“You don't think Gabby and I would have left the Rebels to come with you?” he asks, his voice full of unspoken emotion.
“At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. But really, our mission accomplished nothing,” I answer, finally deciding to open up.
I tell him about the Wastelands and everything else that has happened since I left. He then fills me in on his assignment in St. Louis and his search for answers with Jeremy. Much like me, he feels like everything he did was for nothing because it didn’t help anything.
“What about Lucas?” I ask finally. “What happened to him?”
“He was in St. Louis with me, trying to find out more information about what is happening in Mexico,” Drew explains. “He should have stayed here. He was injured pretty bad in the attacks and never quite healed. Then he got sick. The symptoms didn’t start until he was on his way back here. By the time I arrived, he was already pretty bad and living in the clinic. He just kept getting worse and worse and never got better.”
“I want to see him.” I say as I leave my bunk to head for the clinic. Drew follows me.
Officer Mills is in the exact same place as yesterday. She looks up but doesn't say anything. As part of her patrol when we went to Cincinnati, I could see that there was something between Officer Mills and Lucas but it was forbidden because he was her subordinate. Now I see it clearly. She loves him, deeply. I place my hand on her shoulder as I look at the sleeping Lucas. In this bed, he looks smaller, shrunken. We have been here for no longer than ten minutes when an alarm sounds overhead.
A doctor and two nurses rush over and push us back so that they can roll Lucas’ bed to the isolation room.
“What's going on?” Officer Mills yells after them. She runs behind them but they don't let her follow. My father's voice comes over the loudspeaker.
“We have received test results that a patient in the clinic is carrying Tuberculosis. There has been an outbreak in St. Louis and he came from there,” my father says. “Until further notice, the clinic is under quarantine. No one is to enter or exit the clinic. Those inside, will be provided with food and other necessities. Do not be alarmed. We have this under control.”
As the news sinks in, people begin to panic. I sit down on a couch in the waiting area and try to calm my nerves. Hopefully, they haven't shut down the labs in Vicksburg yet. That's where the Texans create medicines. They'll be able to help us.
Chapter 25: Gabby
It's still dark when I crawl out of bed and feel around on the floor for my clothes. I stop when I hear Lee turn over and listen for him to wake but then start moving again when I realize he's still asleep. I don't know how any of this happened last night. We weren't in our right minds. Yes, that's what it was. I was upset over what happened at the labs and Lee was there for me. It was exactly the distraction I needed, but now I have to deal with the consequences of helping Allison.
I pull on my shoes and slip out, thankful that Lee is such a heavy sleeper. I can imagine how that conversation might go. I would talk too much and he would just be Lee, all silent and brooding like. It’s the story of our lives. I take off running as soon as I hit the street. I have always used my runs to clear my head but even that might not work today.
I stop when I get to the ruins of what use to be the lab building. Adrian already has people cleaning up the area. They've removed what was left of the bodies and cleaned up some of the scorched debris. I watch from a distance and, after a while, I use all of my will power to turn away and head for my flat. I walk past weeping Texans and a makeshift flower memorial. Minutes later, I am home.
I shower and then do the only thing that will keep me from thinking about what I did. I go back to sleep.
I wake to someone knocking on my door. Assuming it’s Lee, I don't answer. Last night happened and I can't change that, but I don't want to make it some big deal that we have to talk about. I roll over and try to sleep some more.
The next time I wake, someone is pounding on the door. It’s not the polite knocking like before. This person just won't go away.
“Leave me alone!” I yell.
“Open this damn door!” Adrian sounds angry.
He hates me after what I did and I deserve it. My bare feet hit the cold floor and I open the door.
“What do you want?” I snap.
If there is anyone with enough anger to match Adrian's, it's me.
“You didn't answer the door for Lee earlier,” he states.
“I didn't want to talk to him,” I say, turning to let Adrian follow me into the room and shut the door.
“You don't really have that choice. He had come to get you because I needed to talk to you both and you've been MIA,” Adrian replies.
“I thought we weren't speaking,” I snap. I can't always control the words that come out of my mouth. They tend to just slip out when I'm angry.
“We don't have that choice either. Don't you get it?” He steps towards me. “We aren't playing here. I am trying to run a city and appease y
ou Rebels. Your actions have consequences Gabby.”
“You sound like my father,” I say. “You can leave now.”
“Maybe I should send you back to him,” he says. My jaw drops and I try to protest, but he cuts me off, “Yet another choice we do not have. I can't trust anyone else with the information about the Reverend. You and Lee are it.”
“Me and Lee ...” I start.
“Are going to St. Louis,” Adrian finishes. “I think the Reverend is there.”
“I can do it by myself,” I argue.
“There is no way I trust you enough for that. You betrayed me, Lee didn't. He leads this mission. You leave in one hour,” Adrian pulls out a small jar and a syringe with a needle on one end.
“What's that?” I ask hesitantly.
“There has been a major outbreak of Tuberculosis in St. Louis.” he answers as he jams the needle into my arm without warning.
I clench my teeth and try to fight him until he hands me the bottle of medicine.
“This is one of the last bottles of the vaccine. It is for people that you choose to help you in St. Louis. There is no more, you got that?”
As he leaves the room, he looks back at me one more time, saying, “Imagine how many people are going to die now that our vaccine supplies were lost when the labs caught fire. And that’s the least of it. Now that the antidote is gone, we need to get to that biological weapon as soon as possible.”
Adrian knew that his words would gut me. That's why he said them. One more dig before I leave. Once he's gone, I breathe deeply, trying to get rid of those thoughts before heading for the docks. I need to focus on my new assignment. If there's one thing I do well, it's going into soldier mode. Nothing can touch me when I focus solely on the task at hand.
The quickest way to St. Louis is by the river. I round the corner and see Lee in front of one of the boats. He's waiting for me. As soon as I see his face, I start to doubt that soldier mode is going to work this time. I'm far enough that he hasn't seen me yet as the events of last night play through my mind. I have never felt that close to someone. By morning, though, that feeling was gone and I was alone again. I’m always alone.
Eve of Tomorrow (Dawn of Rebellion Series Book 3) Page 7
