“Then that’s what you should become. Why would I laugh over that career choice? It’s a noble profession and I could see you researching stories and sharing them with the world. I want you to remember you’ll never have to work, unless that’s your choice, but I want you to be self-sufficient should you choose one day this isn’t what you want.”
He made it sound so simple, and I wanted to share his enthusiasm. I couldn’t see me ever wanting to be anywhere else, but what he said made sense. “I just don’t think I have the talent to do something like that, Sir.” Even though I fantasized about it when I allowed myself to think about dream jobs, I didn’t have the confidence.
“Be glad your ass is on hiatus to me at the moment, or I’d take you over my knee for thinking that way. You have the ability to be anything you choose, and if that’s a writer? Then you’re enrolling in classes immediately.”
He still wasn’t spanking me? “Sir, my backside is fine.” Not that I wanted to be punished, but I truly was healed.
“I’ll be the judge of when your ass becomes my property again.” He pinched my nipple again, and I knew that was his make-shift disciplinary action until he felt ready to change it. I wasn’t sure I liked it any better.
“I’ll sign up, Sir. But what if they think I need more skill in that department?” I didn’t say I was worried I couldn’t do it. Technically.
“Then we’ll take extra writing classes, and get you hooked up with one of the best tutors money can buy. Now enough sass. You want to be a journalist, so that’s your career path.”
And that, as they say, was that. Luca had discerned my desire, and wouldn’t allow me to backtrack. It felt good to know he had enough faith in me for both of us. “Then I guess I’ll be a writer, Sir.” Grinning as I accepted his word as law, I knew he wouldn’t have pushed it without knowing that’s what I truly wanted.
He unhooked the chain to my wrist, leaving the cuff secured. “Good, that’s settled. Now let’s see if I can wear you out enough to sleep.” I was shocked when he arranged me in a kneel over his face and he quickly took my mind off schooling and back on the passion he brought out so easily.
That lasted until I almost came, and then he demanded I fuck him for a change. Eager to comply with his order, I discovered riding him like a cowgirl was almost as much fun as being underneath him. True to his word, after he’d finally sent me to heaven another two times, I was so exhausted I could barely lift my head. Sleep came quickly when he finally chained me to his bed again.
chapter 14
Home
Life fell into a pattern of sorts, at least during the day when Luca was working. Our nights and weekends together were filled with passionate exploits, and discovering that there was an endless array of new things to learn in the bedroom. Two incredible months of not only discovering my body but training my mind.
I started online courses in writing, and after a few little hiccups where my confidence needed alteration, which translated into discipline from his hands, I discovered I had a natural talent. During that time I understood that Luca only punished me when I either doubted myself, or allowed fear to motivate instead of following his lead. In many ways, he was like a father, only one that was present, and cared about my success.
Another self-discovery I made over those months was that there was an inherent need in me to be pushed to succeed. In my life before Luca, I’d allowed my choices to be dictated by fear of the unknown or the willingness to please my family. As strange as it sounds, submitting to him helped me discern my needs because he didn’t allow me to hide behind insecurities. Yes. I had exchanged the need to please him in place of my family, and had he not been concerned with my future, it could have been detrimental.
Those romance books I’d read on the BDSM lifestyle in the past made those relationships seem more like abuse now that I knew what it could be like to live with a true Master. To be fair, they were great fiction, for the most part, but living with a man whose goal was to make me a better person was completely different than the selfish needs of fictional dominants who wanted to beat a woman into submission.
Luca led me into his world by showing me that I could be a better person and that by pleasing him, I was becoming a confident woman, and discovering that there was nothing I couldn’t accomplish. Not only did he open my eyes to incredible passion, but taking in art shows, plays, expanding my reading list and exposure to classical music had given me experiences that would last in my memories forever.
His training didn’t end in the bedroom, although sexual gratification was a great beginning. I rarely had nightmares about the step monster anymore, either. The first few weeks of my sessions with Dr. Sullivan had brought out those demons from my past full-force, but bringing them out in the open had allowed me to take the steps toward healing. I’d never forget what he’d done to me, but I could accept now that it wasn’t my fault and that I didn’t have to punish myself forever over those horrible events.
Next week I was volunteering at a home for abused women, and sharing my story. I hoped that would help others who felt like their past was keeping them trapped. None of that would have been possible without Luca’s guidance. I was beginning to see myself as a survivor and not a victim, which was a huge turning point in my psyche. Between school, my chores, and the lessons he taught me every night in pleasure, my plate was pretty full, but I’d never felt better about myself as person.
Pulling out ingredients for dinner, I smiled at my new found confidence in the kitchen. Never would I have thought that cooking could be a joy before meeting Luca, but now it relaxed me. Humming a tune as I cut up vegetables, the phone rang. Secretly hoping he was calling to tell me his meetings for the day were finished, I answered.
“Gina, baby, it’s Mom. Granny is in critical care and I think you need to come home.”
My mother’s words hit me square in the gut, and I asked with trepidation what had happened. I tried to remember I was no longer a scared little girl as she told me about Granny’s overdose on insulin, and how the doctors weren’t sure she’d make it through the weekend. I nearly hit my knees at the revelation because that woman had been my sanity and when I hated my mother for allowing all those horrible things to happen to me in my youth Granny was the one who reminded me I had something to live for.
I promised to be on the earliest flight I could find before hanging up. Standing in Luca’s kitchen, I wasn’t able to move. Every wonderful thing I’d felt moments before dissipated into a pain so deep that left me sobbing in absolute misery. Gripping the counter, I allowed the depression to consume me not sure I’d ever find my way out from under it.
When I could breathe again, I called Luca. Sanity was far from my mind when he finally arrived home, and I couldn’t remember what I’d done while waiting for him. He wrapped his arms around me as my knees gave way, and we knelt on the floor together until the sorrow finally receded enough for us to talk.
Plans were made, but my mind was in such an altered state that remembering them wasn’t possible. I sat on the bed as he packed my things, allowing him to handle everything. Later, the ride to the airport, stepping into his company plane, and flying back into Alabama was nothing more than a blur. His hand never left mine, except for the brief moment when he talked to a driver and transferred my things to the car. I was helpless as we drove to the hospital, unable to form coherent sentences and soaking up the comfort he gave as my lifeline.
Granny never opened her eyes once I arrived in her room, and late in the night she passed away. The guilt that consumed me over not being there for her in those last months was too much. There was no way I could rationalize that I hadn’t known she would die, because one of the reasons I’d left was because I couldn’t watch her suffer.
She’d been the one person I needed most. And when she needed me, I’d flown off to live out some fantasy rather than face the truth that her life was coming to an end. All those things Luca had promised to help me find in myself? They were just a great
excuse to leave the sorrow of watching that wonderful woman meet the end behind.
Guilt is a powerful motivator. I was convinced her death was my fault and nothing Luca could say would alter my thoughts. “My mother needs me.” Those were my words to him the day we buried her two days later. We hadn’t had much alone time since he stayed at a hotel and I remained with my mom at Granny’s house.
“I can’t stay, Gina. I have a business to run and people who depend on me. Take the time you need here, then come back to me.” He pulled me into his arms and I held him tightly, my heart breaking again because I knew I’d never leave this place again.
How did I say goodbye to the man that I loved with all my heart, but also selfishly held responsible for keeping me away from the last days with my grandmother? I was torn apart by grief, and not thinking, so it was easy to blame Luca for the choices I’d made.
When I watched him drive away my heart felt like it had been ripped from my chest. My mother was inconsolable for days after that burial, and I attempted to be strong for her but inside I was dying, too. The new skills I’d learned while living in Chicago allowed me to take care of the house and our needs, and we somehow made it through that first week with other family members coming in an out to help us.
Luca called me three or four time a day and every time we talked I ached to tell him I was coming back, but I couldn’t forgive myself for leaving my family. I did, however, come to accept that it wasn’t his fault that this happened. No matter how much I wanted to put the blame on someone else, another lesson I’d learned from him was to take responsibility for my own actions.
My mother was, in many ways, dealing with the same issues I had before meeting Luca. She’d taken care of my grandmother for the last two years, and had no idea what to do with her life now that she was gone. Outside of the step monster, she’d been married to four other abusive men in her lifetime, and it seemed to be a pattern with her. Fortunately, those other men had not taken it out on her kids.
In retrospect, I guess that’s a harsh thing to say, but me and my sisters weren’t responsible for her bad choices. No matter how much resentment I had for her over my life up to that point, I couldn’t leave her like I’d abandoned my granny. She was my mother, and she needed me. Our roles were reversed.
Thanks to the counseling sessions with Dr. Sullivan, I understood she was just as much a victim to her past abuse as I had been before. For the first time in my life, I was able to see her as the broken woman who needed to heal, maybe even more than I did. Over the next few months that resentment turned to compassion.
There wasn’t a single day that went by when Luca didn’t enter my thoughts. I’d resumed the online courses thanks to him sending me a computer to use, and returned to the routine he’d given me, because it gave me comfort to at least have that part of him. Even my mother was inspired by watching my new schedule, and finally found a job outside of caregiving.
Her unhappiness seemed to fade with each day she went into work, and I could see a huge change in her demeanor. Granny had left her the house and money in the bank, so she had something to fall back on as she learned to live again. My sisters, who’d been living in an apartment on their own, returned home, and life became almost normal. I still talked with Luca on the phone every day, but he never complained when I said I still needed time here.
He actually seemed proud I was taking care of my responsibilities and encouraged me to do what I felt was right. Luca was paying for my courses at school, and sending me an allowance to take care of my small needs while living at home. It never stuck me as odd because he was still my Master, even if he was hundreds of miles away.
I’d just finished my tasks for the day when I called him, and for the first time I worried he was letting me go. Those words he spoke terrified me.
“If you walk away from this, from us, my only hope is that you look back twenty years from now and remember that there is no person on earth more deserving to be cherished than you.”
I think that conversation was a wakeup call for me. Six months had passed and Luca wasn’t going to wait for me forever. My family, while we would always need each other, was finally back on solid ground. There was nothing to really keep me here, except those feelings of guilt for leaving in the first place. I’d almost come to peace with doing something for myself, so even that was an excuse.
I hung up that night after asking him what his schedule was like for the rest of the week, and started making plans. There was no doubt in my mind if I stayed here, I would never go back to the person I used to be, but I also knew I’d never love any man more than I did my Luca. He was kind of impossible to outdo.
Sitting down with my mother and sisters, I told them I was returning to Chicago. It wasn’t the heartbreaking ordeal I thought it would be, and my mother even seemed somewhat pleased. She told me I was a better person with Luca, and that as much as she missed me, she knew he made me happy. My sisters? They had no idea why I’d come back to Alabama in the first place. In their eyes this was the worst state in the world to live in.
I had money in the bank from Luca, so I decided to surprise him by returning. The next flight out was tomorrow afternoon, so I spent the evening with my family enjoying their company, knowing it would be a while before I came back home again.
chapter 15
Collared
I flew into O’Hare a little after four, knowing Luca would still be at work. Taking a cab back to the penthouse, I let myself in the door and started preparing dinner. The excitement I felt at being back here couldn’t even be put into words. Nothing had changed. The beautiful view from the floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city, still excited me as much as it had the first time I’d seen it.
One of the routines I’d give up, obviously since I was living with family, was losing my clothes at the door. When I heard the security system being turned off, I didn’t have time to take care of that little error in judgment, but I did kneel in the hall.
The look on Luca’s face was priceless as he walked in, glancing down at me with something in his expression akin to awe. “Get off your knees, precious girl.” Holding out his arms to me, I jumped into them feeling like the world was perfect once again. “I should take you over my knee for pulling this one me, but I’m so happy to see you I just want to do this, instead.”
He kissed me passionately and I returned that kiss with all the love and devotion I felt for him. Dinner was a long forgotten memory as he stripped me out of my clothes, and I helped him undress. I’d almost forgotten how beautiful his body was. The broad chest, smooth and strong. Wide shoulders that led into those powerful arms that knew just how to hold me. That beautiful round ass that should be a damn sin for any man to have, and my favorite friend. Lowering to my knees, I stroked his beautiful cock, pleased to know that I still had the ability to make it stand at attention.
“This is going to be fast, sweet girl.” He chuckled as he lifted me off my knees, pulled me up until my legs wrapped around his waist and drove in deep. Thankfully, I’d been so aroused by looking at him that my pussy was drenched, even so it had been so long the feel of him stretching me made me gasp. “I’ll make it up to you later.”
Walking me backwards until I was against the wall, he pounded into me, hands gripping my ass so I felt each delicious, hard thrust. “Sir, I’m going to come.” It had been too long, and I missed him way too much!
“Do it, sweet girl. I want to feel that beautiful flesh flooding my cock. Then I’m going to fuck you again and again until you promise to never leave!”
His words turned me on as much as his intense lovemaking and I came so hard I saw pinpoints of light behind my eyes. Holding on for dear life, he continued to ravage me with those powerful hips then pulled out. “Face down kneel.”
Moving away from the wall, I assumed the position and he took me from behind until I knew I wouldn’t walk tomorrow. Ask me if I cared? I came again with his permission, my pussy aching from the rough usage and I wh
impered. Even with that pain I relished him needing me so desperately.
“Have you been wearing the plug I sent?” His thrust slowed to a bare in and out stroke, and I was never so happy that I followed his instructions back home.
“Yes, Sir.” The damn thing was uncomfortable, but I’d kept in an hour every night. To be honest, it helped me remember him.
“Be glad.” Soaking his fingers in my wetness, he prepared me to take him anally. My aching sex was relieved, but he stretched me so fully that way, that I wasn’t sure the other ache wasn’t better. Until his fingers caressed my clit, then I didn’t care what he did to my ass because my mind was focused on building toward another orgasm.
I’d been on the pill before I left, but Luca still preferred to come this way. He allowed me to come once more before he filled me up, and I finally felt that I’d returned home. Resting on my back, I loved the heat of his breath against my neck as I felt him soften inside me. I almost moaned in disappointment when he slid free, even though my legs were jelly and I needed to recoup.
After he pulled me into his lap, we sat there cuddling, both breathing hard and covered in the aftermath of our passion, but it was perfect. I couldn’t imagine any scenario in the world better than the one I was living right now. His arms tightened around me, and I almost felt like crying I was so happy.
“Tell me you’re here to stay.”
Luca’s words were harsh, and it was almost bliss to hear that forceful edge to his voice. I’d missed that desperately. “Until you kick me out, Sir.” Yes, there was still that little edge of uncertainty there because he was so perfect, that I sometimes felt I didn’t deserve him.
“Silly girl.” He grasped my chin firmly, pulling my lips to his, kissing me deeply. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you? I may just keep you chained up under lockdown until I’m sure you’ll never walk out my door again.”
Cherished Page 14
