by Odette Stone
He took a washcloth, added a dab of soap, and lathered it softly across my body. I closed my eyes, allowing myself to enjoy being cared for. After the day I’d had, I wanted to curl up with Porter and sleep into the next day.
I shivered as he toweled me off, taking extra care to gently dry my body, each touch deliberate and so damn soft, I wanted to cry at the way he treated me like royalty.
He helped me get ready for bed, then tucked me in.
“Aren’t you going to come to bed?” I hated how needy I sounded.
He leaned down and gave me a lingering kiss on this lips. “I just have to make some phone calls.”
I woke up to the sun streaming into my room and Porter cuddling me from behind. I groaned, loving how warm his big body felt wrapped around me.
“How are you feeling?”
To be honest, I felt like I had been tackled by a 220-pound man onto a cement sidewalk. “I feel great,” I lied, not wanting to add to his guilt. “In fact, I feel almost back to normal.”
“Liar.”
I slowly rolled my body over, so I faced him, using most of my effort to stifle my pained groan. “Nope. I’m fine. I’m totally good.”
He tapped me on the nose. “You know what we call that in the military?”
“What?”
“SEAL tough.”
“You saying I’m tough?”
“Damn straight.”
“Is it hard to be a SEAL?”
“No. Not really.”
“What do you like about it?”
His eyes searched my face. “To be honest? I like fighting.”
“Is that why you fought with Yates?”
He snorted. “That wasn’t a fight.”
“Did the military teach you to like fighting?”
“No one can teach you to like to fight, but I think the military just helped me focus that energy.”
“What do you like about it?”
“I think when the bullets are flying, and there is a real risk to your life, that’s when the world just slows down.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you’re in a real fight, the consequences are big. If you lose you die, and if you win you live. My mind becomes completely focused. My body can do these amazing feats — I have speed and strength that I don’t have any other time. And all this adrenaline is pumping, so I feel amazing, but this sense of calm just washes over me. Those moments are when I’m the best version of myself.”
I stared at him in fascination. “That’s why you like to fight.”
“Yup.”
I thought about the video of him racing across the street, being narrowly missed by a speeding car and flying through the air to save me. “Did time slow down when you saved me last night?”
He paused so long I wasn’t sure he was going to answer. “Time didn’t just slow down. My fucking heart stopped.”
Chapter 38
Nine days later, I sat on a park bench during my lunch break, talking to Emily. I had promised Porter that I’d eat at my desk, but they’d closed the office for a private meeting, and I had no choice but to leave.
Plus, it was so gorgeous outside, I couldn’t help myself. There were enough people walking around that I was reasonably sure I was safe.
“How are you feeling now?” she sounded so concerned.
“A lot better. My bandages have come off my hands, and I can actually move without crying.”
“Have you told your dad yet?”
“I’ve tried, but my dad left on yet another business trip, and he’s not returning my calls. Plus, this situation warrants a sit-down talk.”
“What does Porter have to say about that?”
He’s beyond pissed.
“He’s fine. He said the minute my dad gets back, we’re going over to my parents' house, and he’s going to spell everything out for him.”
“So, basically, he’s livid.”
“Why do you say that?”
“When Jackson says he’s going to spell something out to someone, it usually doesn’t end well for the other person.”
I laughed. “Okay, he’s not happy, but in my dad’s defense, I haven’t been exactly pushing the issue.”
“What happened with Yates?”
“Well, the detective called me, and she told me that Yates admitted to putting some sort of tracker on my phone when we were dating!”
“What? That’s so creepy.”
“Right? Which explains why he always knew where I was. The detective told me I could press charges, but he’s not the real enemy here. He’s not trying to kill me. He only wants to date me.”
“You don’t think he’s involved with this other stuff?”
I made a noise. “No. The other stuff is too big, too dark, for him to get messed up into.”
“What did the detective say about the guy who was driving the car? The one who got murdered?”
“Apparently, he’s known by the police, but that’s all she’ll tell us. She said she’s still trying to determine if he was actually targeting me and how he ties into everything.”
“Do you think your life is in danger?”
Yes!
“No, Emily, don’t be silly. Come on.”
“But this seems to be escalating.”
“The detective can’t even determine if any of this is related. Besides, nothing has happened in the last week.”
“How is Porter dealing with this?”
He’s losing his mind.
“Oh, he’s become a bit more safety conscious, but at least with my dad being away, we haven’t had any campaigning to do. It’s fine, Em. Honest.”
“Okay,” she sounded unconvinced, “and how’s the wedding planning going?”
“My mom is completely out of control, but she and Roo have planned the most gorgeous wedding.”
“So…are you and Porter actually engaged?”
I could feel my face turn hot and red. “Emily! No!”
“Well, I don’t know. With all that hot sex and him being so protective, I was thinking maybe this was becoming the real thing.”
“Em, I coerced this guy into everything. He’s probably counting the days until this mess is over. Trust me, Porter doesn’t want to date me.”
“I think you like him.”
I couldn’t lie. “Maybe, but my feelings don’t count in this situation.”
“I think you should tell him how you feel.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No. You know, sometimes honesty is good.”
“He came to New York to get Felicia back.”
“I know.”
“And one night, as a quick favor, the poor bastard got called to a police station to bail my ass out of jail. I was in jail, Emily. Jail.”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“I forced him to be my fake boyfriend to ward off the jealous ex-boyfriend.”
“It was a spur of the moment thing.”
“Just like the secret fake engagement? Which has led us to our big, fat fake wedding.”
I could hear her smile. “You make it sound so bad.”
I laughed. “It’s bad, Emily. This is so bad, even you can’t make rainbows out of this.”
“He deserves to know the truth.”
“He deserves a medal. His interactions with my mom, alone, warrants him receiving a purple heart. He’s a damn freaking hero around her. But regrettably, the fun isn’t over yet. We still have a public break up to face. And that’s going to be ugly.”
“I think he likes you.”
“I think he likes you and Jackson. So, despite the fact that one little favor has turned into a full-time, life-altering, life-threatening public experience, he’s still valiantly trying to hang in there. Because of you guys. But forcing him to face my unwanted emotional advances after he has expressed how he feels about Felicia would be cruel.”
“Who says he’ll let you down?”
“Right. Are we having the same conversation? I�
�m running for the Pulitzer of worst dating candidates right now.”
“I vote that you talk to him.”
“Emily, this is one of the reasons I love you so much—your unfailing belief in humanity and everything good. But Hell will freeze over before I burden him with that.”
“Will you think about it?”
I snorted. “No.”
“We can talk about this later.”
“You’re relentless. How does Jackson put up with your strong arm techniques?”
“He says I’m the boss.”
“That I believe.”
“I miss you.”
“Not as much as I miss you.”
I had experienced crushing loneliness when Emily and Jackson left. But I no longer felt lonely.
When had that feeling gone away?
Since the day Porter showed up.
I didn’t want to think about the day he left. But that day was coming. It was coming fast.
Chapter 39
“Oh, fuck, Beth,” Porter's voice was harsh in my ear.
My skirt was lifted up around my waist, and I sat on the edge of the kitchen counter with my legs wrapped around Porter’s waist, his huge cock driving into me with intensity.
“I’m so close,” I begged. “Please, don’t stop.”
His hand was fisted in my hair, pulling my head back while his other arm was wrapped around my waist, pulling me against him for better leverage. “Come on, gorgeous. Come for me. Come all over my cock.”
My orgasm exploded, making me constrict tight around his hard dick. My entire body shuddered as wave after wave of mind-numbing pleasure rolled through me.
“My turn,” he said through clenched teeth, and then he was pounding into me with ferocity. His forehead pressed hard against my neck, and he harshly swore as his body stiffened and he released himself into me.
We both breathed like warriors.
He eventually lifted his head, and his grey eyes stared into mine. “Was I too rough?”
“You know I love your savage mode.”
“Savage mode?” Amusement colored his face.
“I’m going to miss this,” I said truthfully, thinking about my conversation with Emily.
He lifted me down off the counter. “Oh, yeah?”
I pushed my skirt back over my legs and peered up at him, taking in his relaxed, post-sex face. “Not just the sex, though this is the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, but I’m going to miss you.”
Grey eyes glanced at me. “We get along.”
I swallowed, feeling more naked than I ever had in my life. “I just wish all of this had happened differently.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just…this whole fake situation put a shelf life on this….on us. And I regret that.”
He crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter. “You think this could have been different?”
Now that was a loaded question. A truthful answer would all but strip me down to my soul.
“I don’t know. I just know that when this is all over, and you leave, I’m going to miss you. All of you.”
He didn’t speak. He just studied me.
Damn you, Emily, for making me believe in all your stupid romantic fantasies.
“We haven’t plotted our big breakup either.” I turned away in an attempt to hide how much his lack of response hurt.
“We’ll sort something out.”
“Okay.” My emotions crushed me. “I should go change.”
He moved with such stealth, I didn’t hear him, but suddenly his arms were wrapped around me from behind. “You think I’m done with you?”
“What do you mean?” My voice shook.
“I can’t get through my day unless you come on my tongue at least twice.”
I can’t get through my day…what did that mean?
I opened my mouth to ask, but his phone rang, ruining the moment.
“It’s Jackson.”
I dropped a kiss on his stubbled cheek and retreated to my room, but the question continued to occupy my thoughts.
What had he meant by that?
Three days later, after two mind-altering orgasms, Porter playfully slapped my ass and got out of bed. “I’m going to shower.” He tossed me his phone. “If the pizza guy calls and says he’s arrived, don’t go down to the lobby by yourself. Come and get me.”
I rolled onto my stomach. “You’re not worried I’m going to snoop?”
He glanced back at me, a grin on his face. “You’re curious about me?”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Snoop all you want. Just don’t go downstairs by yourself.” He walked into the bathroom.
“Don’t you think the danger has passed?” I called after him.
He returned to the doorway. “Are you going to come and get me if the pizza arrives?” He had that don’t-fuck-around look to him.
“I promise.”
He stood there, studying me for a moment. “I mean it, Beth.”
“Porter! I won’t. I promise.”
He disappeared back into the washroom. I heard the shower start, and I wasted no time opening his phone. I started with his photos. He didn’t have too many. There were a surprising amount of pictures of Theo on his phone.
But the further back I went, the more pictures I found of Felicia. Fuck, she was gorgeous. She had that ethereal beauty that just defied logic. The more I studied her face, the more perfect looking she became.
There was a photo of her lying on a beach in a bikini. Another one of her cooking and laughing. One where she was lying on the couch, reading. But the one photo that ultimately hurt my stomach was a selfie of her and Porter.
They were on a beach. She had her arms wrapped around his big neck, and her head was on his shoulder, and she had the most content smile on her face. He was laughing up at the camera. He seemed so damn happy it hurt. And if you tried, you couldn’t find a more beautiful couple.
What had their relationship been like? How could two people look so happy and end so tragically? Did he want her back? When this was all over, would he return to her?
I moved to skim his text messages, caring only about the ones between him and Felicia. I scrolled past dozens of messages from her, begging him to call her, and then there were three texts from him.
Porter: Felicia, where are you?
Porter: Felicia, I need to know that you’re okay.
Porter: Felicia, just pick up your phone.
I could feel my heart pounding in my stomach. I checked the dates. These texts were just before the weekend of Theo’s christening. Which meant he had come home, found her missing and sent those out.
The man did not resort to begging. He texted her three times and then nothing. He never reached out again. That didn’t mean he hadn’t tried to find her, but he hadn’t bombed her phone with messages either.
I scrolled further back in time. Some messages showed me just how regular of a couple they were before she had left.
Felicia: At the grocery store, do we still have potatoes?
Porter: Yes. Can you pick up some more toothpaste?
Felicia: Got it already. Anything else?
Porter: I think we need pancake syrup.
Felicia: Okay. Home soon.
I kept scrolling. A few more texts that showed they were a typical couple that didn’t always get along perfectly.
Porter: Some friends are going out tonight. Want to come?
Felicia: Again?
Porter: Come on, it’ll be fun. The wives are coming, too
Felicia: I’m doing my nails tonight
Porter: Do them tomorrow
Felicia: No, thanks
Porter: I won’t be late. Wait up for me
Felicia: Don’t wake me when you get home
Wow. Her snarky tone shocked me. If Porter texted me to wait up for him, I’d be lying on the bed in something sexy, counting the hours until he got home.
I scrolled down some more and covered my mo
uth as I read what appeared to be a fight. About sex.
Porter: I’m sorry, okay?
Felicia: You know I HATE THAT
Porter: I didn’t mean to take it that far
Felicia: You pulled out some of my hair extensions, do you know how expensive they are?
Porter: I did not know you had fake hair attached to your head
Felicia: My extensions are not fake!!! Okay?!? That is hair from a real person and pulling my FUCKING hair is not acceptable
Porter: I barely touched your hair. I was gentle
Felicia: You were not gentle. You were rough. New rule. Don’t pull my hair, don’t touch my hair, don’t even look at my hair when we make love!!!
Porter: Don’t be mad
Felicia: I’m mad!
Porter: Don’t wait up
That exchange shocked me. Exactly how incompatible had they been in bed? Porter never was overly rough when we were in bed, but damn, I loved it when he pulled my hair and showed me who was in charge.
I couldn’t imagine ever complaining about anything he did in bed. The guy defied my wildest dreams in the bedroom. Honestly, I’d take anything he’d give in bed.
I heard the shower water turn off. I hurriedly scrolled through his phone calls. There were multiple phone calls from Felicia, and all of them were unanswered except the last one.
My throat tightened.
Two days ago, Porter had picked up one of her calls, and they had talked for over ten minutes. My heart buzzed in my throat.
“Did the pizza guy phone?” Porter called from the bathroom.
“Not yet.” I quickly locked his phone screen and tossed it aside.
Worry washed over me. Three days ago, I had confessed to Porter that I was going to miss him when this was all over. I had told him that I wished this situation was different.
His indifferent response had cut me deep. Now, to find out that the very next day he took a call from Felicia and talked to her for ten minutes? That sent chills down my spine.
I watched through half-shut eyes as Porter walked into the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, showcasing his perfect body off. Usually, I would be plotting how to get that towel on the floor, but instead, I rolled off the bed and began to pull some comfy clothes on.
