“No offense to your boyfriend, but I’m not all that worried about his newbie talents. He does more flailing around than anything.”
“He took out one of your strikers on his own, or have you forgotten that night already?” I snap. Milo may not be as fluid as Lance and Braden, but his raw power and determination more than make up for where he lacks.
Shockingly profound grief spills out of Braden. The power of it sets me back a step.
“No,” he says fiercely, “I haven’t forgotten that night, Libby. I may not blame you for what you and your friends did, but those were my men! I trained them, lived with them, and then watched them die. I will remember every detail of that night for the rest of my life! Nine of my strikers left that stage in body bags. You saved Milo, but you killed nine good men to do it.”
His anger filling the room doubles when I add mine. “You never should have come after Milo in the first place! If you weren’t out trying to arrest innocent people, your team never would have gotten hurt! Don’t expect me to apologize for doing the right thing.”
“I never said I expected you to apologize,” Braden argues. “If I had been in your position, I would have done the same thing, but those were human beings. Forgive me if I don’t think you should be proud of your boyfriend for killing my men. They were following orders.”
“Who said I was proud?” I jam my finger against his chest angrily. “I never said I was proud. I don’t want to kill people. I hate the idea of hurting anyone. I am not the monster everyone thinks I am, but I will stand up for my friends. Milo ran from your brothers, hid, and helped beat you off when you came back for him. I think that deserves respect, even from you.”
For a long time, the darkness occupying the room makes more sound than Braden does. It is disturbing how quiet he can be. When he does finally speak, I jump in surprise.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I know you were protecting Milo, but those men were my friends, my brothers. The fact that you were doing the right thing doesn’t change that they’re dead. It isn’t an easy thing to get over.”
If there’s one thing I can agree with Braden on, it’s that. Death never really leaves you once it stains your soul.
“I didn’t know it was so many,” I say quietly. I knew for sure that I had killed at least two. The last Guardian Lance faced had definitely been dead. Other than that, I had no idea that night had been so deadly.
“You did what you had to do,” Braden says. His body suddenly feels very close to me, but I can’t make myself move away. He continues, seemingly unaffected by our nearness. “And at the time, I did what I had to do. I’d rather not talk about it anymore.”
I nod, more than happy to change the topic … and get away from him. I step away slowly. I’m aiming for the light switch, but I stumble over the corner of the bed again. Braden’s quiet amusement at my clumsiness brings blood rushing to my face. Thankful it’s still dark, I stand back up. Desperate to get this encounter over with, I make for the light switch and flip it up. The light that suddenly fills the room makes me blink rapidly. When I can see again, I’m faced with Braden two inches in front of me. I barely keep myself from gasping.
“Would you stop doing that?” I demand.
“What?”
“Sneaking up on me. It’s getting really irritating.”
“Well, maybe you should work on not being surprised so easily. I know some pretty decent Concealors if you need some pointers,” he says. “Although, that would mean I’d miss out on seeing you jump so often. Maybe I won’t tell you who I know.”
I scowl at him and back away. “My Concealment skills are perfectly fine, for your information. Now if you happen to know any good Spiritualists …” I let my words trail off immediately. I hadn’t meant to come even close to that topic with him around. His freakish ability to put me at ease is beyond worrisome.
“Spiritualists,” Braden muses. “That brings me back to why I’m here. I want to know what happened in the hall with that girl, Casey. No more avoiding me. I want an explanation for why I’m keeping an eye on her.”
“Why do you care so much?” I ask, suddenly wary. I, of course, explained everything to Lance and Milo, but all I asked of Braden was to watch over Casey. He shouldn’t know anything about what happened between us.
“You had to pull her back from the spirit world, that much was clear, but I don’t understand how she got stuck there in the first place. Or how you finally got her back. I’m not familiar enough with your spiritual energy to have caught everything that happened. I just know there was a lot of energy involved.”
My breath freezes in my chest. How does he know any of that? Did Casey actually tell people what happened? She’s on thin ice with the rest of the school as it is. I can’t imagine she’d risk actually telling anyone that the Destroyer had to rescue her from the spirits. That would be social suicide. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I try to get away from him, but a Strength-enhance hand grips my shoulder and stops me momentarily. I shove his hand off of me with a flick of my wrist. The burst of pain from him doesn’t last long enough. We both finish the exchange glaring at each other.
Braden breaks the standoff first. “Don’t lie to me, Libby. I know what happened. I just want an explanation.”
“Just an explanation?” I mock. “I don’t have to explain anything to you.”
“Tell me what happened.” His demanding voice fills the room.
“Why? So you can run back and tell your Captain about it? I’m not telling you anything!”
“Did you not hear me when I said I lied to my captain about my reasons for coming here?” he yells. It takes him a few seconds to calm back down and speak at a normal level. “I didn’t tell the Captain about Casey, and I have no intention of telling him. I’m not here because of orders.”
“Then why are you here?”
An internal struggle I fear is an extension of our conversation at school today rages in Braden’s eyes. When it calms, he leans back against the wall in defeat. For a moment, I don’t think he’s going to answer me. Then he stands up straight and approaches me. When his hands grab my wrists, I don’t stop him, purely out of curiosity. Principal Andrews interrupted him today before he could say whatever it was he was going to tell me. Will he say it now? Braden’s fingers push back my long sleeves.
“The bruises Casey gave you are gone now, but I still remember them. I’m here because I want to be, Libby. That thing in the hall the other day, it scared me. I know how dangerous the spirit world can be. I was afraid you were going to get hurt trying to help that girl.”
“What do you mean you know how dangerous the spirit world is? How do you even know what happened? Did Casey tell you something?” I demand, completely ignoring his incredibly sweet confession.
“No, Casey didn’t tell me,” Braden says. “I know because I’ve been there plenty of times and had a few close calls of my own.”
Realization dawns on me. I hadn’t even considered the possibility. I hadn’t even thought about what other talents he might have. “You have Spiritualism? And you’ve been to the spirit world?”
He looks at me with a strange expression. “Uh, yeah, isn’t that what I just said?”
“Sorry, I didn’t even think about it. I figured with you being a Guardian …”
“The only talents I had were Speed and Strength, like Lance,” he finishes. “You have to have those two to be a Guardian, but plenty of Guardians have other talents, too.”
Of course they do. That’s who the Seekers are, aren’t they? Guardians who have the added talent of Vision to see future dangers and stop them before they happen. Why shouldn’t Braden have more than two talents? Milo is a Guardian, after all, and he has six talents. Although, Milo is a special case, being my own personal Guardian, so he isn't the best one to go off of. Braden is always careful to keep his diktats and Guardian blade covered so he doesn’t make people uncomfortable, so I’ve never had any visible hint of oth
er talents. How good of a Spiritualist is he? He was strong enough to understand what was going on with Casey. And it sounds as if he’s been in the spirit world quite a bit.
“Libby?” Braden asks.
“Huh?” How long have I been standing here thinking?
“Are you going to explain what happened with Casey?”
I hesitate. If he’s really experienced in the spirit world he may be able to help me. It would be a huge risk, though. When I do speak, my words are slow and testing. “You’re on the wrong team, remember?”
Unlike most of the Guardians-in-training at school who brazenly display the Guardian blades strapped to their left forearms, Braden keeps his covered by long sleeves. He knows the general public fears Guardians. Doing his best to protect people without bullying them is only one of many things that set him apart from other Guardians. His right hand slowly pushes back his sleeve so his blade is fully exposed. My heart jumps into my throat and tries to strangle me. Is he really going to do it?
Braden’s first two fingers press against the Guardian emblem on the hilt of his blade. I hold my breath and watch in rapt attention for where they will go next. But instead of moving to his heart and forehead, his fingers stay pressed to the emblem. “Libby, I promise I will not tell my Captain anything you tell me tonight.”
My shoulders fall as a quiet, “Oh,” escapes my lips.
Braden’s expression turns quizzical. “Are you disappointed? I thought my promise was what you wanted.”
“It is!” I say quickly. His eyebrows rise even higher. “No, it is. Thank you. I’m glad you won’t tell your Captain.”
“But you were expecting something else?” he asks.
I can feel my cheeks turning red. “No. It’s nothing. I’ll tell you what happened with Casey.”
And it’s not just a desperate attempt to change the subject. His promise made on the Guardian emblem is something I know I can trust. It is a physically binding gesture. He can’t tell even if he wanted to. I’m eager to explain now, and ask him for help as a Spiritualist, but Braden seems to have forgotten his earlier curiosity and replaced it with a new one.
“What were you expecting me to say?” he asks, looking down at his blade. Then he rethinks his question. “Not say, do. You wanted me to do something more than promise.”
“Do you want to know what happened, or not?” I demand.
“The Guardian Oath?” he asks.
My quivering expression betrays me. It’s not something either Lance or Milo will get in trouble for, but I don’t know what Braden will think about it, or how he’ll react. I don’t say anything.
“You wouldn’t expect it if someone hadn’t already done it,” he says. “Which one was it? Lance or Milo?”
I don’t respond, but I must give something away in my expression.
“Both of them?”
My reluctant nod sends him into silence. My imagination runs wild in the emptiness, wondering what he’s thinking. Both Lance and Milo made their Oaths willingly, eagerly, but they’re both simple trainees. The Guardian Oath is a very serious commitment. Will Braden think they’ve mocked it by giving it to me? Without illuminating me, Braden tips my chin up so I am looking at him. His hand drops away, but his eyes linger.
“Either those two have some incredible belief in what you’re doing, or they’re head over heels in love with you,” Braden says.
“I think it’s a little of both,” I say quietly. “More the second one for Lance than the first, but he’s coming around.”
Braden’s hands suddenly come up and press against my cheeks. The fiery warmth of his skin against mine ratchets up my awareness of him to an electric current running through my body. I want to pull away, but I find I can’t make myself do it. The effect he has on me won’t give me the chance.
“And you wanted me to give you my Oath like they did?” he asks, his voice soft and dangerous.
I have to swallow the lump in my throat before I can say, “Yes. It … It’s the only way I’ll ever be able to trust you.”
His hands slide back to my neck, pulling me closer. I’m sure he can feel my pulse racing under my skin, but I’m too consumed to do anything about it at the moment.
“And what reason do you want me to have for giving you my Oath? The first … or the second?” he asks.
“The …” His lips are so close to mine. So achingly close. I have the sudden, inexplicable desire to kiss him. He’s made gestures and subtle indications before now that he may have more than a professional interest in me. Nothing as forward as this, though. I can’t push him away. I’m not sure I want to. I …
“The first!” I nearly shout at him. Finally, I find the strength to jump back. “The first.”
It’s torturous to watch his lips curve into a knowing smile. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I say quickly. The last thing I need right now is another guy thrown into the battle of suspicions raging between Lance and Milo. Even an older one. Twenty-two to be exact. He’s probably more mature, too. I don’t need that, though. Two are bad enough.
Even still, I can’t help feeling disappointed when Braden steps back. He sees it, and takes his time with his next step. It requires all my control not to reach up and stop him. But I gave him my answer, and I know without him saying so that he’s going to respect it. He won’t give me his Oath until he is personally committed to my cause.
If I had chosen differently, would I already have another Oath? I don’t really want to think about what that might mean.
“Okay, then,” Braden says, “are you going to explain what happened with Casey?”
Thank goodness. “Yeah, sure.”
I plop down on the bed, wishing I could just fall asleep right now and put this whole day behind me. Braden’s weight settling on the mattress next to me banishes that thought. Not yet. No sleeping yet. I have to get the professional killer out of my room first.
As quickly and simply as possible, I give Braden the muddled rundown of what happened with Casey, leaving out the tiny detail of how the Ciphers said something bad was coming for them. Braden already knows who the Ciphers are and how the Spiritualists lock them away, but I don’t think he’s connected my interest in the Ciphers to anything other than my boyfriend’s being one. Used to be one. Better to leave all that out until I have his Oath securely under my thumb. When I finally finish, Braden surprises me with his reaction.
“Do you have any idea how dangerous that was! You could have killed yourself wrapping your spirit around Casey’s! What were you thinking?” he demands.
The force of his anger shocks me. “I wasn’t thinking! I was trying to save her. It was the only thing I could do. I couldn’t just let them kill her, Braden.”
“You could have died.”
“How? Why would wrapping her up like that hurt me?” I ask.
Braden rubs his hand across his forehead. “You really have no idea what you’re doing with your Spiritualism, do you?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” I scoff.
“I would.” He shakes his head and laughs.
“What?”
“Nothing, it’s just that I expected Cassia the Destroyer to be able to do anything she wanted to do. I thought you would be this amazingly powerful terror,” he says.
I smack the side of his leg. Hard. “I am powerful. I just don’t know how to use my power sometimes. I’m still just a regular person underneath all this Destroyer crap. I still have to learn to use my talents just like everyone else.”
“I only have one problem with that, Libby,” he says.
“And what’s that?”
He looks over at me, holding me in his serious gaze. “You are not a regular person. You are unique and amazingly special.”
I have to remind myself to take a breath. Time to change the subject.
“So are you going to help me with this, or not?” I ask.
“Of course. I’d say tomorrow night, but I’ll be out of town. So, two nights from now.
Same time, same place?”
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. “Can’t you just tell me now?”
“It’s a little more complicated than that. You have an obvious spiritual block when it comes to the spirit world. It’s affecting every aspect of your Spiritualism. I’m going to have to help you get over your block. It’s a long process, and you look like you’ve had a long enough day already.”
I snarl at him. “Thanks to you. Mostly.”
“But not just me, right?” he asks with a smile. “I’m not all bad.”
I don’t even dignify that with a response. Partly because he’s right. He has been, in large part, the worst part of the last couple weeks for me, minus the renegade Ciphers and teenage vigilantes. But as I remember the way he makes me feel, I have to admit that he has been a bright spot in my days, too. A second later, guilt for my admission sours my stomach.
The electric sensation is an oddity, one that makes me want to feel it again. There’s nothing more to it than that, and it’s only affecting me so much because he always manages to corner me when Milo isn’t around. With Milo next to me, I’m sure I could ignore this connection with Braden. The insane desire to drive back to Milo’s house and scale the tree in his backyard to get to him grabs me so strongly I can barely shake it.
Braden needs to leave. Now. I stand up and walk resolutely over to the door, pulling it open for him. He smirks at the not-so-subtle hint and rises from the bed. He takes his coat off the uncomfortable sling chair next to the bed and slips it on smoothly as he approaches the door. Please just go. He’s almost over the threshold when he stops.
“Can I ask you something, Libby?”
“What?” I groan.
“The bonds you have with Lance and Milo, how strong are they?” he asks.
I so don’t want to talk about this with him. “Why?”
“I’ve never known anyone to give their Oath to a single person. I’ve heard that the connection can be different, stronger, that the Guardian can feel more than whether their charge is in danger. Is that true?”
I can’t imagine why he would want to know other than pure curiosity, so I tell him for the sake of getting him to leave so I can bury myself in my bed and hopefully never come out again. “Milo can’t, but Lance can. He can feel my emotional responses.”
Secret of Betrayal: Book Two of The Destroyer Trilogy Page 7
