“Thanks,” I say, trying and failing to keep my eyes from flitting over to Braden. His expression is perfectly neutral, but I know by now that only means he’s making a conscious effort not to betray anything. The low hum of jealousy surrounding him makes me snap my eyes back to Milo. That’s when I see what he’s wearing. He’s still in jeans and a t-shirt. The corner of my mouth twitches as I realize he forgot about our date tonight. “Do you need a minute to change? I guess I’m a little early.”
I try to say it as casually as possible, but my disappointment in him resonates in my tone. Heads duck or turn to avoid me. I ignore them. People forget. Milo has been busy. He’s working so hard on finding a way to get the Ciphers out that I can hardly blame him for being distracted.
Milo looks down at his clothes and grimaces. “Sorry, Libby, I got carried away with Lance. Give me ten minutes, okay?” He dashes up the stairs without another word.
When I turn around to the quiet room, my smile is back, if a little less full than before. Braden finds my eyes right away. He doesn’t say anything, but the more often we’re around each other the less we ever have to actually say. Sometimes it seems like his emotions do his talking for him. My disappointment with Milo is tempered by his compassion. His need to protect me even from small hurts like this makes it hard to look away. When I do, it’s unfortunately to Lance who obviously noticed my distraction just now. I do my best to brush him off.
“Sorry to break up the planning session,” I say.
Lance snorts and rolls his eyes. “No problem,” he says dramatically, glad to be rid of Milo.
I scowl at him. “It sounded to me like you were being just as loud as he was, Lance. Quit being a baby.”
“I was right. I get to argue.”
Dean nods his head, then freezes when he realizes I’ve seen him. I look over at Braden for confirmation. He gives it. “Milo has been a huge help planning the route out of the compound, but this time he’s trying to take too many risks for the sake of speed. Lance’s plan only adds a few seconds and is much safer. It’s what we’ll go with.”
“Well, at least we’re making progress,” I say. “Despite what either of you think, it doesn’t matter who plans the route as long as we get the Ciphers out.”
“I know,” Lance says with a grin, “but it won’t hurt my feelings any if I’m the one who gets it right and Milo has to admit it.”
I roll my eyes at him. He and Milo have come a long way toward working together despite their dislike of each other. I really hope they aren’t backsliding.
“Okay, ready?” Milo asks suddenly, startling me.
“Yeah,” I say quickly, “let’s go.”
We both turn to leave, but Braden’s voice stops us. He trots over, and I expect him to say something to me, but instead he hands a folded piece of paper to Milo, who takes it with a questioning look. “It’s the forms I mentioned the other day to help you improve your follow through when you’re fighting. I’m sure I’ll be gone by the time you get back, so I just wanted to give them to you now before I forgot. You can work on them tomorrow.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it,” Milo says. He pours over the note for a minute, missing Braden’s fingers as they drift across my wrist unnoticed. A subtle reminder that Milo isn’t my only choice. I drop my chin before I can meet his eyes and practically run out of the house.
Milo snags my hand after closing the door and laughs when I pull ahead of him, desperate to get away from Braden. “Hungry?” he asks.
“Yeah, something like that,” I say. “Actually, I’m just excited to spend some time alone with you and get away from planning and training.”
“I know what you mean,” Milo says as he opens my door for me. “It feels like forever since I’ve been able to curl up on the couch with you and watch a movie without someone interrupting or pulling us back into planning or training.”
Milo slides into the seat next to me and takes my hand. There is no agitation to get back to work right now. It feels as it used to, warm and loving. I smile at him and relax. “I’ve been looking forward to tonight all week.”
“Yeah, me too. I’m really sorry I wasn’t ready when you got here. I just get so distracted by all of this sometimes.”
“I know. It’s okay.” This is nothing major, and maybe it’s just because I was spoiled for so long being the center of Milo’s attention, but knowing he wasn’t thinking about this night as much as I was makes me sad. “I just don’t want us to get lost in all the planning. You know what I mean?”
“Of course,” Milo says. “Finding time for something like this isn’t easy.”
“Oh, I know, but spending time together doesn’t have to be this elaborate. I’ve just missed being with you.”
Milo smiles. “Me too. Once we get the Ciphers out we’ll have a lot more chances to be together.”
I smile back, but not very wide.
“You showed up at just the right time,” Milo says, changing topics. “Lance can be so frustrating. He always thinks he’s right about everything. I know he’s smart and he has a head for tactics, but he’s so cautious I feel like we can’t make any progress on the escape route sometimes.”
I don’t point out that Lance was right this time. Instead, I say, “We’ll find the best route, don’t worry. We’re really close already.”
“I know. I can’t help thinking that I could have been one of them, stuck in the spirit world. I would be willing to take a little risk if it meant getting out sooner.”
When we finally pull up to the restaurant, I get out of the car, thoughtful. I would want out, too, even risk my life for freedom, but I’m not the one escaping. I think about the balance between risk and safety as we wait in the foyer. We’re led to our table quickly, and I decide to change the subject to something lighter. For one night, I don’t want to talk about Ciphers and escape routes.
“Is Celia ready for her spring recital? She showed me her costumes yesterday. They looked incredible.”
“Yeah, I think she’s ready. She’s hasn’t said anything about being too nervous, at least. We haven’t really had time to talk about it lately. I’ve been so busy that Mom has been picking her up from dance practice the last couple weeks so they can talk about what they’re doing with the Ciphers as they drive.” Milo frowns and bites into a breadstick. “Are you going to go to the recital?”
“Of course,” I say, “I already promised Celia I would. Your mom said we should just ride with her and your dad since we’re all going anyway. You were planning on going, weren’t you?” He has asked me as if my being there wasn’t already assumed. Unless something serious comes up, I’ll do my best to be there. I don’t see us being ready to go after the Ciphers that soon.
“Sure, I’m going to go,” Milo says. “I just forgot to ask you if you wanted to go before now. Sorry. I keep losing track of things lately, especially if they don’t have anything to do with the Ciphers.”
That reminds me of something else Celia said to me yesterday. “Actually, maybe Celia should have more input on what we’re doing than she does right now. She’s trying to help your mom, but she really wants to be more involved. It never hurts to start training early.”
“No,” he says.
“Milo …”
“I said no, Libby. She needs to focus on school and her dancing. She doesn’t need to be involved in all of this.” He says it with such certainty. Her participation is really not his choice, but it actually makes me smile to hear him. He’s always been like this when it comes to Celia. He’ll protect her to the end. At least he hasn’t been distracted from that habit.
“Well, just to warn you, she’s pretty adamant about getting more involved. Don’t be surprised if she tries to change your mind,” I say.
“She won’t win this one.”
“Are you still worried about her Inquest?” I ask. It’s five months away, in October. That seems like a long time. Talking to her about it yesterday made it feel a lot closer. She’s excited a
nd eager, but after going through Milo’s traumatizing Inquest, she’s more than a little nervous. The possibility of Celia’s becoming a Cipher like he is was actually the biggest reason he pushed his parents to move them out here to New Mexico. He figured it was out of the way, lower population, and easier to disappear from.
“I don’t know,” Milo says. “It’s really not very likely Celia will be a Cipher like me. I don’t think she’ll have to go through what I did. Besides, if she is a Cipher, there won’t be any hiding or cutting this time. Not with you nearby.”
I shiver at the thought of Milo’s dad slicing into his own son’s wrist in an attempt to forge diktats. Those cuts had to be right along the veins. He nearly bled out and died that night while Celia watched.
“If she’s not a Cipher,” Milo continues, “Inquisitor Moore seems like a decent guy. He’ll take care of her.”
“You’ve met Inquisitor Moore?” I ask, surprised. “I thought Lance was working with him.”
“He is, but Lance wasn’t following through on some of his assignments so I went to talk to the Inquisitor myself.”
My fingers tighten around my fork, bending the silver easily. “Milo, what were you thinking? If people find out Inquisitor Moore is helping me he’ll be removed from his position. We can’t afford for him to get exposed right now.”
“Lance is in and out of Inquisitor Moore’s house all the time,” Milo says. “Isn’t he making it pretty obvious whose side Inquisitor Moore is on?”
“No, he’s not. Lance and I grew up playing at Inquisitor Moore’s house. His grandkids hung out with us any time they came down to visit. He’s been friends with Inquisitor Moore since before people found out who I am. Plus, Lance’s dad is head of the Inquisitor’s security. Nobody thinks twice about Lance stopping by the Inquisitor’s house. But you going there … Milo, everyone knows who and what you are. If anybody saw you it could crush everything we’ve planned. You can’t go back there,” I say.
Milo just stares at me, irritation and guilt playing on his features. “No one saw me, Libby. I went to the back entrance. Did you think I just marched up to the front door and demanded to be let in? I wouldn’t do that.”
“I … I wasn’t saying you did. You just scared me for a minute.”
“I know what I’m doing,” Milo says.
I sigh and cover his balled up hand with mine. “I know you do. I think you forget sometimes that you’re not the only one doing it. You have to trust other people to help you and let them do what they need to do. This is going to take everyone to pull it off.”
Milo’s hand stays frozen beneath mine. “Maybe you trust people too much, Libby. Lance tried to kill you, but you give him more responsibility than anyone else. Braden, I still wouldn’t trust that guy to water a plant for me, and he’s involved in every aspect of this plan. I can’t turn around without finding him behind me looking over my shoulder. This whole thing was our idea, our chance to change things. Yours and mine.”
Not only do I know he’s wrong about my faith in both Lance and Braden, but the way he talks about rescuing the Ciphers as being ours sours my stomach. The first time the topic of going after the Guardians came up, I asked Milo if me being the Destroyer was what made him risk hanging out with me. He denied it, promised he was with me because he cared about me and not because I was a means to an end. I wanted to believe him then. I convinced myself that I did believe him. There was always a hint of doubt that lingered deep inside my heart. I thought it had disappeared at one point, only to realize now that it hadn’t.
“Whether this was our idea or not,” I say quietly, “we can’t do it alone, Milo. We need help, a lot of it.”
“I know,” he says. “But can you blame me if I don’t like the fact that our help comes from your ex-boyfriend and the guy who tried to arrest me?”
I manage a small smile. “No, I guess not, but it’s not like we have a lot of other options.”
Quiet for a long time, Milo finally says, “Do you really think we need their help? You’re the Destroyer, Libby. If anyone can do this on their own, it’s you.”
“If I was meant to do this on my own I wouldn’t need you, and I already know that’s not true,” I say. Milo’s hand reaches forward and takes mine, his smile warming to genuine. “Plus, there wouldn’t be Ciphers waiting around to be my army.”
Milo’s face scrunches up in defeat. He can’t argue with me on that no matter how much he might want to. He hunches down in his chair and changes the topic to how my Naturalism training is going. If I need the Ciphers, him included, then there’s a good chance I need the others too. What I add to myself silently, is that I know I can’t do this on my own because of Braden. Every time I’m near him and feel that rush of energy and knowledge, I know I am going to need his help very desperately before this is all over.
I take a bite of my pasta and try to swallow my concerns. I wanted to step away from my destiny for a moment and find out what has happened to my life, but I don’t think the two are separated anymore. I don’t think Milo sees it that way anymore, either. Once us was our relationship. Bringing down the Guardians was something separate. Now it feels more as if the two goals have merged.
My dearest dream is to spend my life with Milo, quietly living a simple life. I once thought it was both of our dreams. I’m beginning to worry that Milo has found a new dream. If defeating the Guardians can go from second to being equal to me, can the opposite happen? Will I forget Milo? Will he forget me? I tell myself I could never let him go, but I worry I will get consumed by my destiny. Or by something else.
The inside of my wrist where Braden’s fingers slid across my skin grows warm as I remember his touch. Every day it gets harder to resist him. I know I’m going to need Braden’s Oath because of his power and knowledge. It’s not even a question anymore. I’m scared the real question is whether I’ll end up asking for his Oath in the end because I need it—or because I want it.
Chapter 2
1
Dead
“Why are we running so slow?” I complain for the millionth time. I hate running, but if I’m going to be forced to do it I should at least get to put my Speed to good use. I wish Milo were here already. He was supposed to be, but he is working with Dean on his knife skills instead. Running with Milo is more fun because he likes to go fast. Nowhere near as reckless as my Guardian friends in that regard, I still enjoy the adrenaline rush of pushing my body to its limits once in a while. Lance says the slow pace is for building endurance, something not wholly connected to Speed and Strength, but I think he just enjoys torturing me. He rolls his eyes at my complaint.
“If you don’t stop whining I’m going to double your workout load for today.”
I sneer at him, and say, “You can’t. Braden’s orders, remember? So there.” I refrain from sticking my tongue out at him like I want to because I’m afraid of accidentally biting it off while I’m running.
Now it’s Lance’s turn to throw me a dirty look. Neither he nor Milo were very thrilled when after picking up Dean a few months ago Braden demanded they revamp my training schedule. They didn’t like him telling them what to do, but what they really took offense to was his telling them their training methods were putting me at risk. Milo was instantly defensive, claiming he would never do anything to hurt me. Lance mainly seemed irritated that Braden was criticizing his methods. Lance still enjoys holding it over Milo’s head that he’s been training as a Guardian for longer than he has. Braden handled the whole issue with the air of a captain speaking to his men, serious and unbending. He’s been my savior this summer.
The second Braden brought up the topic, I was sure his emotions were going to get the better of him and screw everything up for me. Amazingly enough, Braden’s calm dressing down of Lance and Milo not only got me a much more realistic schedule, but seemed to gain Braden a little more respect in their eyes. After they got over their hurt feelings, that is. It helps, too, that Lance and Milo have Dean to worry about now. Not t
o mention Cole and his little band of Miniatures. They’ve all had way too much fun training together. I was worried summer break would be a tormenting two months of nonstop training, but with so much energy being put into getting Dean ready to help rescue the Ciphers it’s actually been a relatively nice couple of months since school let out. I’m back to being firmly opposed to the whole idea of going back to school in a few weeks.
At least it’s been nice and hot all summer long, record temperatures even. I might be the only one happy about that in the entire state. I felt as if I had been shivering since January before it finally warmed up. Every once in a while when there’s a rainy day I wake up shivering and have to pull out a sweatshirt, but most of the time I’m fine. Running through the warm afternoon feels great despite my complaining.
“So, have you guys gotten any further on the escape plans?” I ask Lance. “I know you were working on them last night while I was in the spirit world.”
Their initial plan seemed promising. They were so hopeful when they were discussing it at our last meeting. Unfortunately, the Guardians are a little smarter than I would like. They’ve been scouring every inch of the compound for weeks trying to cement a route that works with the guard rotations and everything else that’s causing them problems.
“We’re getting close. We’re still going through the nutrient lines like Mr. Walters suggested, but we hit a new dead end at the supply bunker. We’re back-tracking now, but I’m sure we’ll have a route soon,” Lance assures me. “How is the planning going for getting everybody to the safe houses?”
A sudden urge to tear my hair out assails me. “The plans are ready. That was the easy part. The actual houses are the problem. A few of the Inquisitors we were counting on are being difficult. Two have backed out altogether. And that means we can’t use their trainees as handlers to round up the Ciphers when they escape. We’ve got to find alternate locations, but Milo’s mom is working on it. A few of the Cipher families have offered up buildings and people. She’s checking to see if any of those will actually work.”
Secret of Betrayal: Book Two of The Destroyer Trilogy Page 21
