“She … I …” I can’t speak through my grief. I killed her. Tears spill down my cheeks and I turn away from all of them, not caring about the weakness I’m showing. Milo has to answer for me.
“Saia’s Sihir came after Libby,” he tells Daniel. “She hurt Lance, too, but he’ll probably be fine. The worst was maybe a concussion.”
Daniel’s head hangs sadly. “How did she get away? When Libby disappeared I was sure she had been killed. There’s no defense against a Sihir, and I knew Libby would never give up someone else just to save her own life. What happened?”
“I don’t really know. I didn’t get there until after everything had already happened, but Braden said Libby pulled her spirit out of her own body, but stayed in the physical world, and somehow managed to smother the Sihir with her own spirit and destroy it.”
“I’ve never heard of anything like that,” Daniel says. “Forcing your spirit to leave your body is only supposed to happen when you travel to the spirit world. You aren’t supposed to be able to keep your spirit in the physical world. And how was she able to destroy the Sihir? That’s not supposed to be possible either, not with a freestanding spirit like a Sihir. No one should have been able to kill it.”
“But Libby did,” Milo says proudly. “Just think of how much power and control that must have taken. Do you have any doubt she can do what she was born to do?”
“I’ve never doubted,” Daniel says, “but I hate that she had to use her power like this.”
Milo pulls me a little closer. “So do I. Saia was a good woman, and a great leader. I respected her a lot.”
“So Saia is really gone,” Daniel says, not a question so much as a resigned and saddened statement.
“Yes,” I whisper finally, “she’s gone. I killed her, Daniel.”
He shakes his head and pats my shoulder in his familiar grandfatherly way. “No, you didn’t, Libby. The Guardians killed her and turned her into something unnatural and deadly. She never would have wanted to hurt anyone. You stopped her from killing. Saia would have wanted that. She would have been tormented forever if she had hurt someone.”
I know he’s doing his best to make me feel better. He’s right, I’m sure, but I just don’t see it the way he does. Arguing won’t do anything but make him feel even worse than he already does. The red shooting through his grief-filled eyes displays his pain clearly enough. I don’t want to add to that, so I keep my misery bottled up tight. He takes my silence as a sign that his words have helped, and offers me a small smile. Turning away from me, Daniel tells the rest of the gathered Ciphers that Saia has left them forever. Sobbing and outrage erupt from the crowd, but for only a moment. Daniel quiets them immediately.
“Please, everyone, gather at the Central Expanse.” Some are reluctant to go, but the crowd begins to lessen as the Ciphers travel away from us. Daniel turns back to Milo and me, and says, “Come, it’s time to honor Saia and say goodbye.”
Not long ago, I thought everyone in the spirit world was dead, a place for spirits to gather after the body dies. Attending a funeral in the spirit world would have sounded positively bizarre back then. Now that I know the truth about the wonderful people here, it would be strange if they didn’t do something to mark the passing of one of their own. I just wish this was the first one I’d ever been to. Braden has searched and scoured everything he can get his hands on since we found out the Ciphers were being killed, but Saia is the third to be taken. And I was powerless to keep it from happening.
Eight murdered in as many months. Eight times the Ciphers have gathered in this place to say goodbye to one of their own. Like the previous two memorials I have attended, everyone forms a circle around the strange depression in silence. There is no body to be buried or cremated ashes to scatter, not even a picture of Saia with flowers surrounding her smiling face. All there is are the people who knew and loved her gathered in a single place to mourn their loss.
I try again to convince Milo to let me down, but he pretends he can’t hear me. Daniel begins the memorial service with simple words that match his strong, yet unassuming nature. “I know none of us likes coming here for such a reason, but not coming to say goodbye would be even worse. I’ll admit that I feel completely lost without Saia. She came to us seventeen years ago and almost from the very first minute she became our leader. Gentle and quiet as she was, I don’t know how she managed it, but she did. She could calm almost anyone with her genuine desire to help a person, inspire a downhearted spirit, and lead the most lost soul back to the right path. Saia did so much for us. She believed more than anyone that we would one day be free of this place. If not in the way she planned, Saia is free of her prison now. But we aren’t.”
Daniel’s eyes well with tears and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t stop them from falling. He isn’t the only one. Nearly every face sparkles with moisture. Daniel continues through his pain. “Saia wanted more than anything to see every one of us back with our families. I don’t plan on abandoning that dream just because she isn’t here to see it come true. The Guardians took Saia because they knew she was one of our strongest. They think they’ve hurt us, hurt our chances of escaping them, but they haven’t. Everyone standing here right now is going to work even harder. We won’t let Saia down and we won’t let Libby down either. We are going to go home.”
His words turn toward memories of Saia with others stepping forward to share as well. I am considering asking Milo yet again to put me down so I can share how much Saia’s motherly influence affected me. I only get as far as opening my mouth when I spot Braden slowly making his way through the crowd to me. A thin filament of spiritual energy spirals out of my hands and races toward him.
My hands being behind Milo’s neck is the only thing that allows me to keep my secret. If he puts me down he’ll spot the link at once. I glare at Braden, hoping that will make him back off. All I get in return is a steely look.
He promised to help me keep our link a secret from Milo! Surely he won’t come over here. I shake my head at him, begging. He keeps marching forward.
He would! I can’t believe him! What is he thinking? My arms tighten to a stranglehold around Milo’s neck. He looks down, and I think he’s about to kiss my forehead, but my panic stops him.
“Libby, are you all right?”
Braden catches my panic as well, but he continues marching toward me, looking rather determined. “Milo, I don’t feel very well. I want to go back.”
Milo frowns. “I better get you to my dad to check you out. Braden was at least right about needing to go to the hospital.”
“What?” I hiss. “I’m fine. I don’t need a doctor.”
Milo looks confused. “I thought you just said you weren’t feeling well?”
Milo looks around, thinking correctly that something I saw has upset me. I panic and latch onto him more tightly so he can’t look behind him. Now Milo looks even more worried.
“Fine,” I say, “I don’t feel good. I just don’t want to go to the doctor, even if it’s your dad. You know how much I hate hospitals.”
“Libby, my dad isn’t going to hurt you,” he chides. “I’ll be with you the whole time, anyway. Come on, I’ll take you back.”
Relief sweeps through me as I feel Milo reach for his Spiritualism so he can take me back home. Part of me thought Braden must not have been thinking about our link being revealed if he showed up here, but his shoulders fall as Milo prepares to leave, making it clear Braden knew exactly what he was doing.
Chapter 2
3
Impossible Feat
Convincing Milo’s dad that I don’t need to be taken to the hospital proves impossible. It takes both Milo and Lance pulling me along behind them to get me out of the car. Milo very nearly has to carry me just to get me into the building. Milo and Lance have both been through this with me before, so they are prepared for my reaction to the smell of antiseptic and latex. Braden, on the other hand, watches from a distance, an amused smile plastered fir
mly on his face. Not even my shame at acting like a huge baby keeps me from glaring at him.
At least I don’t have to wait in line, a perk of Milo’s dad being an ER doctor. He draws the curtain around me and gets started. The only consolation I have occurs when he motions to the bed next to me and tells Lance to get on it. Dr. Hanover is not as sure as Lance that he’s perfectly fine after being attacked by Saia’s Sihir and later passing out. Lance doesn’t look thrilled when Dr. Hanover mentions stitches for the cut and a CT scan for his head, but throws me a haughty look as he climbs up without a word of complaint. Jerk. When Dr. Hanover turns away from us to get a blood pressure cuff, I stick my tongue out at him. I’ve wanted to do that all day.
Milo rolls his eyes at both of us. He should just be happy Lance has been much less antagonistic toward him lately. Mine and Lance’s relationship has changed slowly since I broke my block, but somehow he’s reverted back to the protective, and mildly annoying, big brother figure he was all through our childhood. I know it bothers Milo that Lance and I have become close friends again, but I have truly missed this side of Lance. I feel as if I have gotten back a brother, not a possible boyfriend. I hope Milo understands that, because I don’t think I could give Lance up if he asked it of me. Even though I hated Lance fiercely after he tried to kill me, there was still always some regret that I would never again have him in my life. I feel good about where we are now.
My thoughts and my moment of pleasure are squashed when Dr. Hanover turns around with a giant syringe. Okay, maybe it isn’t any bigger than normal, but I stiffen and try to flatten myself against the hospital bed. Lance snickers at me. I can’t even force myself to turn my head so I can glare at him. My jaw is clamped too tightly to tell him to shut up. Milo squeezes my hand more firmly. It doesn’t help.
“Libby,” Dr. Hanover says, “I’m just going to draw some blood, okay? Braden mentioned the sensitivity to cold you’re still experiencing. I want to do a full workup to make sure you’re all right.”
My bones seem to grate together as I turn to face Braden, who has snuck up beside me somehow. I must really be a mess if I didn’t feel him approach. “Thanks a lot,” I growl at him.
He doesn’t say anything in his defense.
“Just try to relax, Libby,” Dr. Hanover says, “I’ll be as quick as possible, okay?”
Relax? Yeah, that’s really not going to happen. Unclenching my fist is pretty much impossible, right now. In fact … a wave of calm ripples over me. My body releases its tension slowly, but it happens. Shocked by such a sudden change, I close my eyes and try not to lose the calm. Only after a second with no other distractions do I feel the slight point of pressure on the side of my arm. Light and small, I recognize the feel of Braden’s skin against mine immediately. My calm deepens knowing where the feeling is coming from. I don’t open my eyes, though. I don’t want to see the needle in my arm. Even more, I know I can’t keep myself from looking at Braden.
The rest of the examination passes quickly and Dr. Hanover goes over to check on Lance. As soon as he leaves, Milo leans over and kisses my forehead. I finally open my eyes.
“You did great, Libby.” The pride in his eyes makes my stomach turn.
“Thanks,” I say weakly.
Braden says nothing. In fact, he’s unusually quiet for the rest of the evening, except to advise that I cancel my training for tonight. But just me. Everyone else is still planning on going on with what they were supposed to be doing tonight, even Lance after getting cleared by Milo’s dad. Thankfully, everyone else already having plans to train cuts the night short. Although, it does mean I’m going to miss out on time to work on my Naturalism tonight, which is a shame because I’m getting really good at it. But I do need a break. Convincing Milo I’m fine driving myself home is impossible. He pulls into his usual parking space much faster than I would have liked and kills the engine.
Popcorn, a movie with Milo, and the bag of chocolate truffles I’ve been saving are what I want tonight. Along with a chance to cry for my friend. It takes being attacked by a crazed spirit that used to be my friend for me to get a night off. I shudder at the memory of Saia’s face twisted by madness. I shy away from using her death as an excuse to take some time off, but I can’t bear the idea of doing any work tonight.
Milo walks around the car and opens my door. He reaches in to help me. I take his arm, though I don’t really need it, and let him walk me to the door. Once inside, he makes sure I’m comfortable on the bed before sitting down next to me. When he doesn’t move to snuggle up with me like I want, I look up at him questioningly.
“You aren’t staying?”
His expression is torn. “I want to, but Casey called to remind me about working with her tonight. I know how much you want me to figure out doing an Inquest, but it’s been a hard day for you. I don’t want to leave you alone.”
I’d forgotten about Casey completely. It wouldn’t be a big deal to push training with her back one day, but I know she’s going to be out of town all next week. With as close as we are to being ready to rescue the Ciphers, waiting another week makes me nervous.
“Maybe you should go,” I say, trying not to let my disappointment show through.
Milo slips his arm around my shoulders. “I’d rather stay. I know you don’t want to be alone tonight.”
“If Casey weren’t going on vacation …”
“But she’ll be back.”
“What if that doesn’t leave you with enough time? We’re so close to being ready, Milo.”
I don’t say it, but once we figure out the last few steps of the escape route, all we’ll be waiting on is Milo to master the Inquest. I hate putting pressure like that on him, but I could definitely use his help when we make our attempt. I keep these reasons far from my lips, but I’m sure Milo is thinking the same thing.
“Do you really think Casey can help me?” he asks.
I nod. “She has such a gentle nature, I’m positive she’ll be able to show you how to use your power more calmly.
“What should I do?”
Stay with me all night, I think. I don’t want to let go of him, but then I’m being selfish. The Ciphers need him to master an Inquest so he can help me free them. “Why don’t you call Casey back and tell her you’ll still meet with her tonight? It’s been such a long day, I think I just want to go to bed, anyway.”
Milo doesn’t move. “Libby, I can stay.”
“No, you should go. I’ve been worried about this, and I know you have too. We’ll both feel better if you work with Casey. If she can’t help, we’ll try this again tomorrow night, okay?”
He frowns, but a little relief shows in his expression as well. “Okay, but only if you’re sure.”
I nod and kiss him. “You can tell me how it went in the morning.”
“Okay, get some rest.”
I walk Milo back to the door. In my head I am begging him to ignore my words and stay regardless of what it might cost. Will a week really matter that much? Will he even be able to perform an Inquest on the Ciphers? It’s very possible I’m the only one who can. I don’t want him to leave. Please, I plead silently, forget Casey and stay with me so I have someone to cry for Saia with when her death finally hits me as I know it will.
I stand in the warm summer air, reluctant to let Milo go. His arms slip around me in a hug. When he starts to pull back, I hold him tight for a few more seconds. Finally, he steps away with a goodbye kiss and slides into his car. I watch him pull away, unable to hold back my tears. I know it’s silly to cry when I told him to leave, but I can’t help it. I turn back toward my room. The flash of headlights stops me and pulls me back around.
I wipe away my tears quickly at the sight of the Aston Martin. Braden peers at me from behind the windshield as he parks. He steps out of his car slowly. Silence falls between us like a stagnant cloud. I stay in my doorway and say, “That was a dirty trick you pulled today.”
He stares at me, innocent as a newborn lamb. I’m not fool
ed.
“I can’t believe you came to the spirit world while I was there with Milo. You didn’t care at all if he found out about our link.”
“No, I didn’t care,” Braden says firmly. “I loved Saia. She has been more of a mother to me over the years than anyone else has ever been. I wasn’t going to miss her memorial just to keep a secret I don’t even think needs to be kept. Not everything is about you, Libby.” Braden runs a hand through his hair roughly, his frustration palpable. “But I was also worried about you. Without me there, I wasn’t sure you’d have enough strength to stay. I didn’t want you to miss the memorial either.”
Feeling more than a little bit chastised, I look away. The anger in my voice a few seconds ago has disappeared when I ask, “Braden, what are you doing here?”
“Just making sure you’re okay,” he says.
“Well, I am.”
“It doesn’t look like it,” he says. “Where did Milo go? I didn’t expect him to leave you tonight.”
Instantly defensive, I say, “I told him to go. He needs to master an Inquest before it’s too late, so I told him he should go work with Casey like he’d planned earlier.”
“Sill, I didn’t think he would leave after everything that happened today.”
Neither did I, but it was my own fault. The echo of Braden’s words is clear. He wouldn’t have left me. He’s obviously proven that, but maybe he expected Milo to leave. Is that why he’s here? Milo’s birthday dinner wasn’t the last time I’ve slipped his mind in favor of something Cipher-related. Milo should have been with me earlier today, but it wasn’t his fault. He was working. No one can fault him for that. Regardless of that fact, tears burn at the corners of my eyes. I refuse to cry again. “Milo needed to go. He understands how important it is to me to have him master an Inquest.”
“Does he understand how important you should be to him?” Braden asks quietly.
Dropping my head to avoid his seeing a rogue tear slide down my already stained face, I say, “Go home, please.”
Secret of Betrayal: Book Two of The Destroyer Trilogy Page 23
