I stayed at Ben’s house again, still not able to face Dad. We also couldn’t have sex; the whole experience had made us feel so weird. I knew we needed to talk to Dad and sort it out. We would be seeing him the next day, whether we wanted to or not, we were all invited to Rosie’s parents’ house for a barbecue to celebrate the upcoming wedding.
Ben and I arrived at the Alvez house and there was no sign of my parents. I wondered if they weren’t coming because of what I had done, but I knew Dad wouldn’t let his friends down.
We painted on a smile and mingled, chatting to people and drinking. It was the first time anyone had seen Ben and me as a couple, so everyone had questions, and congratulations.
My parents arrived and Dad walked straight past me and out into the back garden, glancing at Ben and I as he passed. I turned to Ben to hide my tears from everyone else, not wanted to cause a scene.
“Okay, I’m not having you upset like this anymore,” Ben said quietly and knocked back the rest of his drink, before following my dad outside. I froze for a moment, unsure what to do, then I caught Mum’s eyes and she nodded towards the door, telling me to go after him.
As I reached the garden, I heard my dad’s words to Ben.
“You took advantage of my daughter like that; you told me you respected her. She was supposed to be married first.”
And then Ben’s reply.
“Eduardo, I do respect her. I’m sorry that we were disrespectful to you, and your home, but I love your daughter more than anything in this world, and I fully intend to marry her one day.”
I froze, with one foot outside the conservatory. Ben had never said those words to me but I saw my dad instantly soften as he realised this was serious, and then he looked at me, causing Ben to turn and look me in the eyes. He swallowed hard as he realised I had heard him.
“You love me?” I asked, softly and Ben stepped towards me, smiling.
“More than life.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, totally unashamedly, before telling him the feeling was mutual.
Once my parents knew how Ben and I felt about each other, things got easier. Dad took Ben for a beer and they were there, hours, before coming back drunk, and Ben was invited to stay the night. So whatever was said between them, absolutely did the trick. Ben declined the invitation, respectfully, which I think won him a few extra Eduardo points.
Being open and honest with everyone about our relationship, made it very real. We were invited to double dates and even to Wii night at Rafe and Matthew’s. It was amazing to feel like I finally fit into that dynamic of our group, we were now one of the happy couples.
Unfortunately, before we all left Buxton things started to get rocky between Rosie and Jackson. It made the dynamic of the group a little weird as we’d all sort of taken him on as our own, and now we felt like we couldn’t or shouldn’t talk to him, or about him, until they sorted their stuff out.
Ben and I tried hard to juggle work and travelling to see each other. We met in the middle, at a hotel in Birmingham, as often as possible, but it was hard.
We decided to go away to Scotland for a week in June, no Wi-Fi or phone signal, bliss. We had a cottage in the middle of nowhere and just ate, drank and made love for a whole week. It was the best week I had ever had, and I didn’t want it to come to an end. And when we arrived back in Buxton, to find that Rosie and Jackson were over, my heart broke for my best friend.
A lot had happened between them, but I knew they were made for each other. I held her as she cried for hours, and then I went back to Ben and I asked him to move in with me. It wasn’t completely out of the blue. Ben had been looking to move to London anyway, to be closer to me, and had started applying for jobs. But when I saw how heartbroken Rosie was over her break up, I just couldn’t bear to be apart from Ben anymore, so I just blurted it out.
For a moment I froze, my heart in my throat at my sudden show of commitment, but when he happily agreed, I was over the moon.
Ben moved in during the busiest week I’ve had in a long time and didn’t complain once about me abandoning him in the big city on his first week. Instead, he unpacked his things, cleaned and cooked dinner each night, and waited for me to get home.
He understood, covered my food in cling film if I was late back and headed to bed.
A week after he moved in, I got home after midnight. I walked into the bedroom after the longest day of my life and was faced with the glorious naked arse of the man I worshipped. The soft glow of the TV that he must have fallen asleep watching highlighted the perfect peach that I just wanted to sink my teeth into and never let go. I stood back and just looked for a moment taking in just how lucky I really was. Then Ben farted, rolled over and scratched his balls and I was back to reality. The worst part is, it just made me love him more.
I crawled into ‘our’ bed, Ben stirred and wrapped his arms around me pulling me close, and I fell to sleep, happier than I had ever been.
Ben and I quickly sank into the comfort zone; we ate and drank a lot, cooked together, totally over indulged in everything and were on top of the world. When I couldn’t do my jeans up one morning though, we agreed it was time to change. Ben challenged me to a month without drinking, claiming that I drank my calories instead of eating them. I laughed it off and took the bet, but as my birthday party rolled around in August, we realised drink wasn’t the problem.
“What’s wrong?” Ben asked as he walked into the bedroom after getting home from work. I’d ignored three calls from him, so he’d rushed back to find me sitting cross-legged on the bed, puffy eyed and defensive. “Pippa, talk to me.”
He sat at the end of the bed and I looked at him; he was going to leave me, I knew it, but he needed to know.
“I’m pregnant.” The voice that left me wasn’t one that I recognised, and I started to sob again. Ben stood up and stepped back from the bed. I heard him pacing and looked up at him just as he looked at me.
“Okay,” he said, nodding and then sat down.
“What do you mean, okay?” I asked, sniffing and wiping my tears.
“I mean okay, Pip. We would probably have had kids one day anyway, it’s just happening sooner than planned, that’s all.”
I was shocked. He wasn’t running for the door; he had just accepted it.
“Are you serious?” I asked, crying again, this time out of love for him.
Ben smiled, crawled forward on the bed and kissed me.
“I always said you were going to have my babies, didn’t I?” He replied, smiling as he kissed me again. We were having a baby.
I close Vinnie and put him down on the window seat before heading into the bedroom. I open bedside draw and start to rifle through the contents, laying my hands on the small folded card near the back. I take it out and open it, sitting down on the bed as I sigh and smile.
The image of the tiny peanut on the ultrasound photograph makes my heart skip a beat. I remember so clearly the day we saw Holly on that screen, not knowing at that stage who she would be, but she was there, and her tiny heart was beating. Ben and I had been together for six months when I got pregnant, it was soon, but she was conceived in love.
I run my thumb over the photograph and remember the change in me that occurred when I saw my peanut for the first time. Rosie had lost a baby, and I didn’t want to hurt her by telling her that I was having one, but I wanted to protect my unborn child more than anything or anyone. I hadn’t realised until that moment that Rosie had always been a priority for me. I had always considered her feelings first, but my baby was more important and that was new. For me to care more for the child I had claimed never to want, than the feelings of my best friend, was huge.
I kept it a secret for as long as I could, and when I told Rosie, she was hurt. In fact, she stopped speaking to me all together for a while; angry I hadn’t told her and unable to face my healthy, progressing pregnancy. I was devastated, but I had a baby to grow, so I shook it off, knowing that I would be waiting when
Rosie was ready.
I take the photo out of the card and make my way back to the window seat; I slot the photos in between the pages and close the book.
That’s enough for today.
***
“Hi, baby,” I say, as I hold up my phone and see Holly smiling back at me.
“Hi, Mummy, I miss you.” I’ve been in Amsterdam for less than a day, but it’s already so hard to be away from them.
“I miss you too, Pops, I’ll be home in a couple of days though. Are you looking after Daddy and Cooper?” I ask.
“Well, Mummy, Cooper has been a little monkey today and Daddy is just being smelly.” I laugh at the serious tone in her voice.
“Is he, well that doesn’t surprise me to be honest.” I pull a face and she laughs, the sound tugging at my heart strings.
“Do you want to talk to Daddy, Mummy?” she asks and looks to the side.
“Yes please, baby, you go to bed like a good girl tonight won’t you?” I say, which makes her roll her eyes.
“I will Mummy, it’s Cooper you should tell that to.” I laugh out loud.
“Okay, I will. Put Daddy on, love you.”
“Love you too, Mummy.”
She disappears, and then I see my boys; Cooper is fast asleep on Ben’s chest on the sofa, and I yearn for home.
“Hello, gorgeous,” Ben says, smiling, “Missing us yet?”
“Like mad, this is torture,” I say before letting out a phony sob. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine, the kids are behaving, they’ve eaten. Hols is going in the bath shortly, you know because there’s a Y in the day.” I laugh, the girl loves a bubble bath. “We miss you, mama.” He smiles and I sigh, trying not to get upset; it’s only three days.
“I miss you all I love you too much. I’ve got to go, babe, I’ve got a dinner with the client and need to get ready. Kiss my babies, okay?”
“You know it. Love you, Mrs L.” he grins,
“Love you more. Night.”
We hang up, knowing we’ll no doubt speak again before bed, but I still feel sad. Maybe it’s time for me to give up travelling for work; it’s too hard.
I shower and dress for dinner, enjoy a great meal and a productive evening with the client, and then head straight back to the hotel. I texted Ben to see if he was free to talk, but he said Cooper was restless so he had him in our bed. This made me panic a little, wondering if the boy was okay, but I knew Ben had it under control, so I took Vinnie out of my bag.
I read a little of what I had written last, just to get the gist of where I was, and then started to write.
When Jackson called and asked us to meet him and Rosie in York, I was nervous. We were talking again but hadn’t seen each other since we had fallen out, and I was six months pregnant; she’d missed it all. Her and Jackson were back on track and stronger than ever, and I knew I couldn’t miss the chance of seeing her, not for the world.
So Ben and I set off for York, I was glad we got the train so we didn’t have to stop every time I needed a piss, or we’d never have got there.
My nerves about seeing Rosie were quashed the second she saw me in the apartment we had booked for the weekend. She ran to me, wrapping her arms around me and then didn’t take her hands or her eyes off my bump for a good hour.
“I’m Auntie Rosie,” she said, leaning down so her face was close to my belly, “I’m the person you come to when Mummy and Daddy say no.” I laughed and the baby kicked.
“Ooh,” I said, grabbing Rosie’s hand and holding it where I could feel movement. “Ahh.” I moaned as another strong kick hit just below my ribs and I looked at Rosie, there were tears in her eyes as she put both hands on my tummy.
“Oh my god, Pip, You’re having a baby.” She laughed and cried at the same time, and the rest of us just laughed,
“I thought I was supposed to be the hormonal one,” I replied, placing my hands on top of Rosie’s. I had my girl back.
While we were in York, Jackson announced that he had booked his and Rosie’s wedding. They were getting married in just three weeks, on Christmas Eve. I had hoped I’d be back in shape before I had to put on a bridesmaid dress, but it didn’t matter; I was just glad we had all sorted out our problems.
As the wedding fast approached, I just seemed to get bigger and bigger and, I noticed, so did Rosie.
“You’re pregnant aren’t you?” I asked her as we sank into the water of the swimming pool. We had gone for a spa day to try and relax before the wedding, but she had a bump, I was sure of it, and her boobs were much bigger than usual.
“What?” she laughed and looked away.
“Oh my god, Rosetta, when the fuck were you going to tell me,” I asked, a little too loudly, drawing gasps and tuts from the people around us.
"Pip, shhh, I haven’t had a scan or anything and my Mam doesn’t know yet.”
“Yes I do, sweetheart,” Bernie said from behind us, we hadn’t heard her approach and turned into the water to look at her. “Rosie, you’ve been my daughter, for almost twenty-eight years and you think I wouldn’t notice how big your boobs have suddenly got.”
Rosie opened her mouth in shock and I laughed out loud; I love Bernie.
“I’m sorry, Mam,” Rosie said, drawing a confused look from Bernie.
“For what? You’re making me a grandmother, with the man you’re going to marry, you’ve nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart, I’m delighted.”
Her soft Irish accent washed over us both, soothing Rosie’s anxiety and making my pregnancy hormones acts up. Tears pricked my eyes and I decided enough was enough, this soppy shit was getting on my tits. I left the Alvez women hugging in the pool and headed for a massage.
I yawn and look at my phone; it’s past midnight and I have an early start, so I close Vinnie, set my alarm and turn the light off. I’m very aware of being alone in the bed, so pull the pillows down onto what would be Ben’s side if I was home. I snuggle into the pillows, resting my head on them and wrapping my arm around them, mentally scolding myself for being such a soppy twat, before eventually, falling to sleep.
“Mummy!” Holly calls out as she runs towards me in the airport. I drop my bag and hold out my arms for my girl, scooping her up as she reached me. “We missed you, Mummy.” She says as she wraps her arms tightly around my neck and I sigh; I’m home.
Holly chats all of the way, back from the airport about what I’ve missed while I’ve been away, Ben just holds my hand and I know he’s missed me. I’m so relieved to arrive home that I actually feel my whole body relax as I walk in the door. I drop my handbag on the armchair while Ben takes my holdall to the bedroom, and I head straight into the kitchen. I need to be ‘Mummy’. I need to cook and clean and show them I am home, but as I get there, I see that Ben had already prepared a lasagne and I smile, I know how lucky I am.
I feel arms around my waist and Ben’s breath on my neck as he nuzzles into me, raising goose bumps all over my body.
“I’m so glad you’re back.” He kisses me, just below my ear and I close my eyes involuntarily.
I turn in his arms and wrap mine around his neck. “I’m not going away again,” I say, and I’m met with Ben’s wide-eyes. “I’ve worked so hard to be at this level in my career, what good is that if I can’t choose to stay near to my family?” I question, rhetorically, and Ben just smiles, before leaning in to kiss me, the sound of our babies laughing and playing in the background. It’s good to be home.
“Was it a productive trip?” Ben asks as I raise my feet up onto his thighs; the kids are both fast asleep and we’re enjoying a bottle of Merlot in front of the TV.
“It was, it went well. I just wanted to be home though.” I sigh and take a sip of my wine before Ben reaches out and takes the glass from my hand.
“Well,” he says as he places my glass next to his on the table. “You’re home now,” I raise my knees as he moves onto his and crawls forward, towards me. I bite my lip in anticipation. “And I have really misse
d you.”
He kisses me and I smile against his lips. “Really? How much?” I ask playfully, as his hand skates up my outer thigh and under the oversized t-shirt I put on after my bath. He kisses me again.
“I’ll show you,” He promises as he grips the undersides of my knees and yanks my body down towards his, making me squeal and laugh.
“Ben,” I protest a little, we never get fruity on the sofa in case Holly comes out of her bedroom. “The kids.”
He hooks his fingers into the waistband of my knickers and, smirking down at me, pulls them down my thighs, as far as they’ll go with him between my legs.
“They’re asleep, and this is happening. God, you’re sexy.”
I love it when he’s like this, starving for me; it makes me instantly wet when I see that look in his eyes and that tone in his voice.
Without another word, I raise my knees towards my chest, allowing him to remove my knickers and toss them aside. Ben places his hands on my knees and parts my legs, moving between them until there’s only the material of his shorts stopping him from being inside me.
“I want to take my time,” he sighs as he leans down to kiss me, “but I need to be inside you.”
He kisses me again, hungrily, frantically and making me breathless. He reaches down between our bodies and growls when he feels how wet I already am. He pushes a finger inside me the drags it up to my clit, making my hips rock towards him and a moan escapes my mouth, into his.
His fingers leave me and I feel his hand move between us and then it’s there; my husband’s hard cock pressing against me, into me. My hips roll in response as Ben fills me and stops kissing me for a moment, then looks into my eyes. They’re devilish, filled with mischief and love. I feel whole; like he was made to fit inside me, like it’s more comfortable with him there than without.
I smile, wiggling my hips playfully and making him raise one eyebrow, before drawing out of me and rolling his hips, entering me again at an agonisingly slow pace.
Memoirs of a Wild Child Page 18
