by Shannyn Leah
She crossed the distance between them and bent down in the snow in front of her daughter, taking her gloved hands in hers. “But they’re like Kevin. They’re not good people.” Olivia’s wide eyes watched her mother so intently it was as if Ava were talking to an adult. “I left them to protect you. You may be related to them by blood, but they’re not your family. Family are the people who are in your every day life. Those who love you and will put your needs before their own. That’s what every person here would do for you. Dax, Stone, Wanda, and—” She swallowed. “—Hawk, these people are your family.”
Olivia’s eyes moved around the circle of eyes behind Ava. When she looked back at her mom, she sighed. “Mom, you’re embarrassing me. I already know who my family is. Dax, Stone and Hawk are my uncles and Wanda is like my grandma, but since Dax is now my new dad, I just wanted to ask if I could call him dad. You know, like I called Rowdy grandpa.”
Now Ava’s eyebrows knitted together as her daughter’s heartwarming confession melted her heart and left her speechless.
She felt Dax’s body move against her as he bent down beside her to face Olivia. She felt his strong hand supportively squeeze her leg, reminding her she wasn’t alone. He did that now a lot. He stepped into situations she’d once had to do on her own and took half her workload. And she loved him for it.
“Kid, I would love that.” He tapped the bottom of Olivia’s chin and she beamed at him for a few long seconds before giving her mom a scolding look. She felt Dax’s chuckle against her and knew he was thinking the exact same thing.
Without warning her daughter threw one arm around Dax and the other around her mother, knocking Ava off balance. Once again, Dax was there to catch her, wrapping his solid arm around her back.
Ava tilted her head to look over her daughter’s shoulder and found Dax watching her. He winked at her and she felt him once again give her side a squeeze.
Hawk broke their sweet moment. “Let’s load this tree and get some hot cocoa!”
Chapter Four
7 Years Prior
INSIDE THE LOUNGE, Dax stood in the long food line-up of noisy folks shivering and rubbing their hands together to erase the brisk winter air. Surprisingly, the line moved rather fast. Or so he’d thought. Maybe he’d been too lost in his own thoughts while watching Ava sitting alone at a corner table.
She’d removed her bulky jacket and hat, letting her hair tumble down around her shoulders. For the first time since he’d met her, he stopped questioning her motives, dropped the decision that he didn’t like her, and just looked at her. That’s when he noticed her tense, hunched shoulders and the way her body jerked when people passed. He observed her eyes analyze and judge every person in the room and realized she trusted people as much as he did. Not at all.
It wasn’t until her attention focused outside through the wall of windows looking over the tree farm that her shoulders slightly relaxed. Being on the second floor gave them a good view of families boarding horse drawn sleighs while others were trudging through the farm in search for of a perfect tree.
A perfect tree.
He scrubbed his hands over his face. He hadn’t been here in years and, dammit, he wasn’t so sure he wanted to be here now. But his dad did. It had been a helluva long time since he’d seen his dad in the holiday spirit and the woman by the window had been the reason why.
“Excuse me, sir. Are you ready to order?”
Dax ordered a mug of cocoa for her, a beer for himself and two cinnamon buns. He weaved his way through the crowded tables and chairs. He avoided a crash when two young boys almost collided into him and tried even harder not to scowl at their parents. After all, he’d once been one of those excited boys here with his parents, feeling that magical Christmas feeling. It had been decades since he’d felt anything magical. But wasn’t getting his father here and his dad’s minor mention of his mother both magical?
Dax set a steaming mug of hot cocoa on the table in front of Ava. Her head jerked up at him in an unsure, nervous way that didn’t settle well in his gut. He didn’t trust people because he knew eventually they all left. But her reaction was different, bordering on the edge of fear.
When her eyes met his, her body relaxed a bit, then she looked at the mug in front of her. “Thank you, but you don’t have to babysit me. I’m fine. You can go spend time with your dad.”
Dax set his beer down and settled in the seat beside her. He set the plate of dessert between them and offered her a fork. “The old man is fine on his own.”
She eyed the fork through thick, black lashes, before finally taking it. “We both know it’s not your father I’m worried about.” She fidgeted with the metal handle of the fork. “I’m sorry if my being here has somehow overstepped a line between you two.”
“It hasn’t.” He ripped off a piece of his cinnamon bun and popped it in his mouth.
“Do you always scowl during the holidays or just when I’m around?” She raised an eyebrow at him before she ripped off a piece of her cinnamon bun and placed in her mouth, licking away the icing that had landed on her bottom lip. She leaned back in the chair and tilted her body to face him.
Dax leaned back and took a long sip of his beer, letting the cool liquid drench his throat while he watched her watch him. Was she challenging him? Feeling him out? Or just trying to get to know him better?
He rested his arms on the arms of the chair and tapped the bottom of the bottle on the table. “I always scowl during the holidays. Maybe I’ve been scowling a little more with you around.”
She nodded, and he swore he caught a tiny smile lift her lips. “At least you’re honest.”
“What about you?”
Her eyes flickered to the food in front of her, but she looked back at him and asked, “What about me?”
“Do you like the holidays?”
“I’ve never celebrated Christmas. Not in the traditional sense anyway.” She took a sip of her drink and his stare lingered longer on her lips than he liked. When she spoke again, his eyes lifted to find hers—again watching him. “I’ve never set up a tree. Never had a Christmas tree actually.”
Dax slanted a questioning look at her. “You’ve never had a tree?”
She shook her head.
“What about when you were a kid?”
She shook her head again. “No. Let’s just say my family wasn’t like your dad.” The trees and activities outside caught her attention again. “He’s sweet after he questioned me—” She smiled at Dax. “—a lot like you’re doing, and once he discovered I’ve never set up a tree, or had a meal or exchanged gifts, he decided that’s what we would do this year. So, I guess it’s my fault your dad’s going hog wild over Christmas.”
“Whatever the reason, it’s nice to see him this excited again.” Dax smiled back at her, and a sense of relief settled inside him as he realized the smile wasn’t forced like it had been the last months. “And if you’re the reason we’re out here cutting down a tree, I’d like to say thank you for making him remember the good in the holidays. For giving him good memories to mix with his bad ones.”
“Although not intentionally, it’s the least I can do after everything he’s done for me—all he plans on doing for me. The man has a lot of plans.”
The conversation halted, with nothing left to say, and the usual awkward silence weaved between them until Rowdy came to their table rubbing his hands together. “Are you two ready for the sleigh ride?”
“No,” Ava said quickly. “And if one more person extends their hand toward my stomach I’m going to hit them.” She protectively rubbed her own stomach now. “I’m sorry, I know these are your friends but I’m not some big dog who wants my belly rubbed.”
A small laugh escaped past Dax’s lips as he pictured Ava following through on her threat. He knew Rowdy would be warning everyone at the shop and fire station to keep their hands off her from now on.
Rowdy nodded. “Alright then, I guess we better go find that Christmas box and start the tra
ditions.”
Dax stood. “I have to stop by my condo first.”
Chapter Five
Current Day
“I’VE ONLY EVER missed the sleigh ride once.” Ava watched the horses trot away, waving at her daughter, Wanda and the two men snuggled under wool blankets in the sleigh. She dropped her hand as they turned along the path heading into the brush. “And never without Olivia.”
“Technically, she was here the year we skipped the sleigh ride. Just in your stomach.”
Ava glared over her shoulder at Dax and he wrapped his arms around her body, pressing his front against her back. “That’s what happens when you invite a couple of huge men tree picking, we don’t all fit in the sleigh.”
“Hmm.”
“Or when you embarrass her in front of everyone.”
Ava groaned, hoping that wasn’t a memory she’d relive every holiday at the tree farm.
“Besides, we’re not missing a sleigh ride, woman.” He stepped back as a tall black-colored work horse trotted toward them pulling a sleigh. Dax pressed a kiss against the side of her head as it slowed to a stop beside them. “We even get some alone time. I love them all, but sometimes I just want you all to myself.”
Ava giggled when she thought of Wanda and her mention of “sex time.”
“What’s so funny?” Dax helped her climb the stairs of the sleigh.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she teased giving him a wink. He slapped her rear end and she let out a tiny surprised scream.
She felt the sleigh shift as Dax climbed on and barely got turned around before he was pulling her down beside him. “You’re a tease.” He covered her mouth with his, his tongue diving into her mouth and momentarily making her forget they were at a family event. It wasn’t until the horse started to move that she remembered and pulled away.
He smiled his swollen lips at her. “Maybe we should have taken this to the truck.”
“I am not having sex with you in your truck.”
“We’ll see.” He leaned back and pulled her tightly against his side.
“I guess you haven’t lost your cocky side,” she muttered.
“And you damn well love it.”
She tilted her head to look at him. “I love you.”
He cupped her chin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She lifted her mouth, giving him closer access to kiss him.
“Maybe we should discuss this marriage thing you seem so keen on avoiding.”
She snapped her lips back together. “I didn’t mean the marriage topic to come out the way it did. I just don’t want to pressure you.”
He softly kissed her lips in the loving way only he could. “Don’t be afraid to pressure me. Tell me the things you want because I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know. I believe you.”
“And neither are you.”
“Never.”
He kissed her again before pulling her close as the archway of trees invited them into the incredible brush of glistening icy branches. It was a magical wonderland and she wished thoughts of her daughter’s earlier discussion wouldn’t keep rearing its ugly head into the present.
“One day she’ll be able to find Kevin’s family—the people I’ve been protecting her front. When she gets to an age where she really wants to know, it’s not hard to find people....”
He squeezed her shoulder. “And if that day comes, we’ll deal with it. But right now, she’s not interested.”
“So she says.”
“When has she ever lied to you?”
Ava sighed and tilted her head to look at him. “Omission of truth is as much a lie. She didn’t tell me Kevin had said any of that until today. Who knows what else he said to her.”
“If there’s anything else, when she’s ready, like today, she’ll tell you. You’re her mom and she sees the world in you.”
“That’s because she’s seven. She won’t stay seven forever.”
“No, it’s because you’re amazing.” He kissed the tip of her nose.
“Yeah, well you didn’t see me as a teenager. I was bad. I was so bad.”
“I think I would have liked teenage Ava. I got myself into a little bit of trouble when I was that age too.”
“I got myself into lots of trouble with lots of boys like you. So where does that leave my poor daughter? With my wild streak and your wild streak combined?”
“I’ll eliminate any boy that thinks he’s getting her into any trouble.”
Ava laughed. “I’m holding you to that.”
Dax chuckled and slipped his bare hand under her jacket and shirt, finding her warm flesh. His touch cooled her skin. He nuzzled her neck again with warm kisses and her eyes closed at his touch. “We’ll talk details after I strip you bare in the back seat of my pickup.”
She laughed and playfully hit his chest. “That’s not happening.”
His hand inched higher until it cupped the outside of her bra. “Maybe not today, but tonight we still have a Santa suit with your name on it.”
Ava let him kiss her one last time before she pulled his hand out from under her shirt and laced her fingers in his. “I guess you’ll have to wait for tonight then.”
He chuckled and settled back against the seat. Ava leaned into the nook of his arm and they listened to sleigh bells as the snow laden trees and bushes passed. She thought about the possibility of her daughter having a wild streak and another question popped into her head. “Has Olivia ever used the word ass or damn in the shop?”
Chapter Six
7 Years Prior
DAX BRACED HIMSELF for the cold wind that whipped around him as he exited the sliding front doors of his condo. Living on the lake brought cooler temperatures and higher winds from the water. Now, gripping the wooden box in his arms, he jogged along the icy sidewalk to the driver’s side of his truck and climbed in.
He slammed the door shut and brushed the snow off the top of the box.
Ava looked at the box and her teeth clamped down on her lower lip. Dax knew she assumed it was the one Rowdy had been searching for all day. She was right.
Dax set the wooden box on the console between them and took a deep breath before he glanced in the back seat at his dad.
Rowdy’s solemn eyes were glued to the rustic box. Dax recognized the mixture of happy memories and painful grief dance in the old man’s eyes. He’d gone through the exact same sequence each year he’d pulled out the box.
First, he’d remember his family’s past traditions of choosing a tree at the tree farm, decorating it as holiday music played in the background and cookies sat on the table. Then he’d fill his stomach with a little of everything from the buffet of takeout food they’d ordered in, and would still manage to eat some popcorn while watching an old Christmas cartoon. He remembered always finishing the night by falling asleep under the lit tree. All good memories. But then memories of his mother’s funeral scratched the happiness away. Her death, her funeral, and his dad’s momentary demise almost had him resenting the box which hadn’t had a memory added since her death.
Rowdy cleared his throat now and looked at Dax. “You had this in your condo, son?”
He only nodded, unsure his voice wouldn’t crack. Plus, there was no way in hell he was going into details about taking the box right now, in front of Ava.
“Okay then.” Rowdy patted his son’s shoulder. “Let’s go get some supplies.”
Dax parked his truck facing the snow-covered beach alongside Willow Valley’s Main Street. Mid afternoon and the white snow sparkled under the sun peeking in and out of the clouds. Later this evening, as dusk settled upon the town, strings of lights draped through the trees and up the light poles would turn the main street into a festive sight. Dax avoided the main street as much as possible during the holidays, but today everything they needed to fill their box was on this street.
They stopped at the local bakery for a basket of assorted snacks to munch on when they got home to set up the tree. Dax and his dad au
tomatically turned around as the hostess Mrs. Calvert secretly picked the treats out just as she’d done before his mother had passed. Dax found himself enjoying Ava’s small shake of her head at their silliness. He chuckled as his dad nudged her around with them and told her, “No peeking.”
Next they stopped at the movie store where they spent a ridiculously long time debating and picking out a holiday movie. Then on to the gift store which had a great selection of ornaments dated for the present year. Rowdy chose an ornament with four cartoon snowmen heads with red hats and scarves while Dax stood quietly aside watching as another debate began.
“Rowdy, please don’t buy that because you feel obligated to include me. I don’t want to add something to your box that you open next year and regret.” Ava argued a good point, but Dax knew his dad far too well to assume he hadn’t already thought the ornament over before they’d arrived.
“Young lady, I don’t live for next year any more. I live for the now. And right now you’re spending the holidays with us.” Rowdy finished jotting down names on a piece of paper before he handed the ornament to the worker behind the counter. The ball on the end of the young girl’s Santa hat bounced each time she moved. With a big smile she silently read the names before she thanked his father and bent down—the white ball doing another bounce—and began working her magic on the ornament.
Rowdy leaned against the counter and sent Ava a curious smile. “Family is a funny word, isn’t it?”
Dax rubbed his bristled jaw line an attempt to conceal his grin as he recognized the start of one of his dad’s knowledgeable, one-sided conversations slash lectures that generally left the person he confronted more confused than before he began. The way his father could sprinkle contemplation in a person’s head was incredible.
“Families come in all different shapes and sizes. Some are tied together by blood while others are brought together by circumstance. It doesn’t mean that one is right or wrong, or because you’re related by blood, it’s stronger than circumstance.” He reached over and touched Ava’s arm. “Family is who is there for you when you don’t even think you can be there for yourself. So whenever you’re not sure who your family is, take a look at who is beside you at that moment.”
