Instead of concentrating on my body, which hurt, I thought about what I had been taught. From the ant, I understood the importance of village cohesion, cooperation among families and allies, how division of labor and unemotional reliance on deeply tested instincts work together in the effective accomplishment of goals, and how different senses enrich understanding of the world. For fish, living in a world of eat or be eaten, large body size or forming large cooperative schools provided them with some degree of safety. Their ability to detect subtle water movements, another type of sense, enabled them to find food, avoid predators, and school with other fish. The regal nature of the falcon, its acute vision, and the feeling of flight, continued to amaze me, but so did the apparent contradictions inherent in the circle of life. We all take from each other in order to live, but to take too much is unwise, and to give way is sometimes the most prudent course.
I could hear nothing from the other boys. They either were asleep, or, like me, in the strange world of dream and thought that lay between the spirit world and ours. Ascopo, Andacon, Osocan, and I entered the husquenaugh together, and our first experience was that of the black drink. After we purged our inner bodies, we cleansed ourselves in the river. Then, before we fully recovered from the black drink, we received our instructions: run to the swamp at the head of a creek and retrieve one of the four strands of wampum left there by Eracano. I could barely make it. Andacon was well ahead of me, Ascopo was just behind, and Osocan was nowhere to be seen. When each of us returned, we handed our strand to Eracano, who counted the beads to ensure it was the same strand he’d left for us to retrieve. No one knew how many beads were on the strands because Eracano changed the number every year. I suspected that Andacon may have picked up two strands, one for himself and one for Osocan so that he would not have to run as far.
After the exhausting run, we leapt into the cool river again and the sudden chill caused my skin to break out in goosebumps and my hair to stand on end. As I gasped for air, I thought my heart had stopped from the shock. After clambering out of the river, we again entered the wigwam and endured the powerful herb smoke and excessive heat from the fire. I could hardly breathe through the thick smoke, yet I was still breathless from the run and compelled to suck in the air. Once we were hot and sweaty from the fire and gagging from the smoke, we jumped into the river yet again, and if I thought that the first two experiences were invigorating, they were nothing like the third one. I shivered uncontrollably from the cold and my forehead felt like it was splitting open from a headache.
Back we went into the wigwam and Eracano arrived to chant and invoke the spirits to accept us. He threw more herbs on the fire until the smoke was nearly too thick to tolerate. I was already lying down, but my head started to swim and my eyes watered so profusely that I could barely see. The coals from the fire glowed orange and the thick smoke rose up and enveloped Eracano as he chanted. He looked like a fiend in the underworld, in popogusso.
Clearly, I passed out, because the next thing I knew Eracano was beating the bottoms of my feet with a switch. The sharp pain made me jump up. Night had arrived and it was dark outside. Eracano demanded that we run to the farthest side of the old crop field and return with a shell that he had placed there. We all dashed out of the wigwam together, but could barely see where we were going. I stumbled and fell, cracking my knee against a root, but got back up and kept going. I was the last one to reach the crop field, but the other boys, who wandered about aimlessly, had not yet found the shells.
Streaks of weak silver moonlight shining through the trees illuminated the open field. I tried to think where Eracano might have placed the shells, but my mind was muddled. As I stood there, breathing deeply of the crisp night air, my mind began to clear and I remembered that during planting, some women used shells attached to sticks for hoes; the men used deer bones instead. After planting, we left the hoes and planting sticks in a pile under the big oak tree where we rested. I ran to the tree. Sure enough, four white shells lay in front, and I made some noise to catch the attention of the other boys. When they saw me sprint back toward the wigwam, they knew I had found the shells and they immediately ran to the tree and gathered shells themselves. I finished first and proudly gave the shell to Eracano before entering the wigwam and falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.
The next morning we did it all again, except there was nothing to purge from our empty guts, and there was a new set of wampum strands at the end of the run. This time I was sure that Andacon picked up an extra wampum strand because I was close on his heels, and though I was second among the four boys, there were only two remaining strands of wampum, one for me and one for Ascopo. When I returned to camp, Andacon and Osocan were already there, and then Ascopo came in behind me. I was pretty sure that it really didn’t matter who finished first, just that we finished, but I still wished to do better than third place.
That evening we received a meal of thin gruel to eat and we devoured it. Today’s river dunk was easier to endure, perhaps because the cool water was less of a surprise or because our fatigue overwhelmed us. After the river plunge, we shot arrows until my shoulders shook with exhaustion from drawing the bow.
The midnight run again required us to think while our brains jangled from lack of sleep and smoke. Eracno told us to bring back a flame from the sacred fire and use it to light a torch of fibers that he’d stuck in the ground. All of us ran to the fire, but once we arrived, we found the fire banked down to nothing but coals around a huge hunk of smoldering wood. Andacon actually tried lifting the hunk of wood, but it was much too heavy. Then he had an idea, grabbed four of the kindling sticks piled nearby to start up a blaze in the morning, and held them against the glowing coals. He gave one to Ascopo and one to Osocan and motioned to me, but I shook my head in refusal. Something wasn’t right. As soon as the kindling burst into flame, the boys made a beeline for Eracano’s unignited torch.
I had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn’t be quite that easy. I dug through the pile of kindling and noticed that the sticks were damp; the flame would never hold until the boys reached the torch. I found a flat piece of bark in the pile, teased out a glowing coal with a stick, and pushed the coal up onto the bark. I put another piece of bark on top so that I could carry it pressed between my fingers, but air could still circulate in from around the sides. When I arrived at the wigwam, three dejected faces greeted me, along with three blackened sticks and a torch that was not aflame. I removed the top piece of bark and rolled the ember onto the torch, blew gently, and it lit. I went into the wigwam, but the other boys had to run back to the fire and bring back an ember before Eracano permitted them to enter the wigwam.
The next day on our morning run, I was astonished to see that Cossine was waiting at the swamp and he gave us each a wampum strand and directed us to a different site that extended our run considerably. Apparently, I was not the only one who knew about Andacon’s and Osocan’s trickery from the day before. This run on the third morning was at least twice the length of the first two and it was exhausting. I could barely finish, collapsing as I entered the clearing where the husquenaugh wigwam stood.
Each day was like the next, black drink followed by a thorough wash in the river, death run, river dunk, smoky wigwam, river dunk, shooting trial, then some unexpected event in the middle of the night. I began to look forward to the thin, tasteless gruel because afterwards I could drop off into the oblivion of sleep. Finally, after days and days of absolute effort from my body, on one morning run I lost track of the other boys. I don’t know what happened to them, but they were no longer near me, and I could simply go no farther. I stopped and sat down, nearly crying from exhaustion. I felt I was a failure, unable to keep up with the other boys in the physical tests. I thought that I would never become chief, probably not even complete the husquenaugh.
I lay back on the ground and closed my eyes, and I felt a sense of well-being. It was just like the time that Roncommock first introduc
ed me to the spirit world. My mind and my body were empty, and I felt the spirits’ pity.
My bear spirit entered my mind and I recognized him at once. He told me to get up and go on. “Just walk back to the wigwam,” he said, “but get there. Your trials are nearly over. I will come to you again when you need me. Call me the way that Roncommock showed you.”
Following the bear-spirit’s advice, I somehow clawed my way back to the wigwam. The other boys were already there. I lay exhausted, starving, and nearly mad from the overpowering herbs. But I could wait. The bear spirit had promised that the trials were nearly over. So here I lay, longing for death or enlightenment, whichever arrived first.
The door-flap of the wigwam opened, emitting a stark, white light that hurt my eyes. I lifted my head up slightly and saw Eracano enter. He moved among us, leaning down over each of us and lifting our heads in his hands. I dropped my head back down, too drained and exhausted to hold it up on my own. When he came to me, he touched my cheek and called my name. I looked up at him and he nodded. He moved back to Osocan and lifted his arm, holding his wrist. He put his ear on Osocan’s chest and listened, then he stepped outside, the brilliant white light blinded me again, and he returned with someone else. They lifted up Osocan and took him away. I was too tired to wonder whether he was dead.
When we next awakened, instead of a black drink, Eracano gave the three of us who remained a thin gruel. He allowed us to rest instead of making us run, and he changed the herbs on the fire to something much more pleasant. I definitely detected the sweet, spicy fragrance of sassafras—winauk—in the fire. Andacon asked about his brother, but Eracano did not answer. Instead, he said it was time to contact our animal spirits. Although we had completed the difficult tasks of the husquenaugh, an animal spirit had to accept each of us as a worthy tribal member before we could be called men.
Eracano added the sacred mixture of uppówoc and herbs to the fire and told us to concentrate and to call our animal spirits, to ask them to find us and claim us. I relaxed my body, just as I had done with Roncommock, and once I felt calm and relaxed, I opened my mind and called to the bear spirit. He answered me at once and I sensed that Eracano was nearby.
“This boy has completed the tasks of the husquenaugh. He has withstood the deprivation and difficult tasks. Do you accept this boy as a man?” I heard Eracano ask.
The bear replied, “I accept Skyco. I sensed him when he was just a boy. I will guard and protect him, and I will send him visions from the spirit world. His future is bright because he is honest and thoughtful. His listens to those who would teach him. He learns and grows in wisdom. He will become a shaman as well as a chief.”
A shaman as well as a chief! I was proud of myself, but humbled, too. I felt honored. The responsibility I was given was entrusted to me by my tribe and by the spirits who guarded us. I bowed until my head touched the ground and I thanked the spirits with all my heart. When I raised my head, Eracano was looking at me.
“We must wait on the others,” he said. Ascopo appeared to be in a trance, eyes closed and posture stiff, but Andacon was fidgeting. Something wasn’t right with him. Ascopo exhaled, opened his eyes, and Eracano nodded at him.
“The spirits said they would accept me. Like the other carvers, the woodpecker spirit accepted me. I will carve, but my guardian spirit told me that I will still have time to hunt and to fish. I am thankful.” Ascopo actually smiled, the first I had seen in days.
Then Eracano said to Andacon, whose eyes were still screwed closed and who was clearly uncomfortable, “Andacon, you have not been accepted by the spirits. Do you know why?”
Andacon opened his eyes. “Where is my brother? Where did you take him? Is he dead?”
“Osocan offended the spirits because he did not complete one of the runs. He cheated by receiving the wampum beads from you before he reached the swamp. He did not run the entire distance.” The boy’s eyes opened wide in terror and he said, “But I didn’t mean to get him into trouble! I was just trying to help him. We always help each other. I stole them and threw them at his feet. He just picked them up.”
“Andacon, you tempted Osocan, but he should have resisted the temptation.”
“But is he alive? I can’t tell! I always feel his presence, but now it is not there,” Andacon said in a strangled cry.
The room was deathly silent for a few very long moments, and then Eracano sighed and said, “He is not dead. We removed him before contacting the spirits and did not allow him to attempt it. You failed to contact the spirits. Both of you must undergo the husquenaugh again next year. In the meantime, the tribe will shun you both for the entire year. It will be as if you are dead to us. No one will speak to you. No one will acknowledge your presence. You will leave our territory. Perhaps you have now learned the value of honesty.”
Andacon hung his head and looked as if he might cry. I felt sorry for him, and for Osocan, too, having to undergo the husquenaugh for a second time. They could have stopped after the second day since that was when each faltered. Now both he and his brother would be shamed for the whole year. I wished there was something I could do. Maybe there was.
“Andacon and Osocan have a strong bond because they are twins,” I heard the bear spirit say, in my mind. “Take the boys together to the spirits. Neither boy alone even made the attempt today—their husquenaugh is not complete. They may attempt to contact the spirits once more, after waiting for another sunrise. Perhaps each has gained some respect for the spirits, for the ritual, and most of all, for himself.”
Eracano looked sharply at me, and I realized that I had been speaking as the bear spoke to me. The other boys looked at me with their mouths agape.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Oh, yes,” said Eracano, but he seemed stunned by my pronouncement. He left the wigwam and soon returned with Osocan stumbling behind him. “You two will stay here,” and pointed to Andacon and Osocan. “You two may sit outside,” and he pointed to Ascopo and me. “The husquenaugh will last one more day, which, I presume, means that no one is released until tomorrow. Is that right?” Eracano directed the last question at me, somewhat hesitantly.
“What do you mean, Eracano? You are in charge. I just reported what my bear guardian spirit said.”
“No. You spoke as the bear. Your spirit guides you now, speaks through you, and commands the fate of others. You are a shaman now, Skyco. You have the spirits’ favor and can interpret their will. You are now my equal.” He bowed toward me and I was stunned. The other boys looked up, their faces betraying similar emotion.
“You got a bear?” Ascopo whispered in awe. “That is a powerful totem. Maybe you really will be chief, and a shaman too?” he continued, with a look of respect on his face.
“Outside with you two, now,” Eracano said to us with a look of mild reproach, but when he turned back toward the brothers, his face became stony. “These two boys have some more thinking to do.”
Ascopo and I walked outside and lay down in the sun. It felt good to lay there, resting, as we talked about our experiences.
Ascopo said, “I’ve never felt the spirits before, Skyco. Is this what you have meant all along? This deep feeling of understanding and direction and belonging? Now, like you, I have the guidance of the woodpecker to help me and to lead the way. She will show me how to ask the trees for their favor. Now I understand why you kept talking about the importance of the spirits. I just didn’t understand until I contacted them myself. But you, a shaman. How is that even possible?”
Ascopo and I spent the whole afternoon resting and talking in the fresh open air next to the wigwam, and thankfully not inside its smoky interior. When the sun reached its zenith, Andacon and Osocan emerged from the wigwam to begin the regular run to the swamp and back again, but both Ascopo and I noticed that they repeated the run a second and then a third time. They ran until it was dark. Sweat poured off their backs and chests
, their hair plastered down, dripping sweat into their eyes, and their bodies sagged from exhaustion.
That night, Ascopo and I slept outdoors under some skins that Eracano brought for us. I awakened once when the brothers passed us in the night, running again, off on another mission. They redoubled their efforts for the last day of the husquenaugh. I couldn’t believe they had anything in reserve, but they were clearly demonstrating their resolve.
We reentered the wigwam at dawn, when the brothers were to make their attempt to contact the spirits. All five of us sat around the sacred fire, Eracano between the two brothers. The brothers looked exhausted: faces pale, hair disheveled, eyes with black bags underneath them. They had hardly stopped running since the previous morning. Eracano began the chants again, adding uppówoc to the fire and asking the spirits to accept the brothers. I closed my eyes and immediately felt the bear spirit again. I was able to see through his eyes as the wolf spirit stepped up to claim the two boys. The boys were there, too, watching anxiously in anticipation.
“These boys erred in their ways, but because they demonstrated their remorse by voluntarily running both day and night, it is clear to us that they understood the enormity of their error. Because they chose to run even though they were exhausted, because they truly repented, and because the bear spirit asked us to consider them, I accept Andacon and Osocan and will be their guardian.” The wolf spirit nodded his head to me—the bear spirit—clearly asking my permission.
Once again, I returned to myself, sitting before the fire. Andacon bowed to me and poked his brother in the ribs so that he bowed too. “Thank you, Skyco, for interceding on our behalf. I know that you asked the spirits to give us an opportunity to prove ourselves. They told us so.”
Spirit Quest Page 21
