He strolled over to Astera, asking her to walk with him. I sent a portion of myself with them. Charles said, “You recognize me?” They were about a hundred yards down Freemont Boulevard when he stopped and faced her.
Astera swallowed. “I wanted to get as far away from you as possible. I can’t understand why”
“I am part of the Entity who created Akenton,” he said.
Astera turned away, shaking. Essence memories working to the surface. She turned back, face contorted with disgust. “What happened to that monster?”
“When Akenton’s Entity withdrew his energy, and Akenton died, the personality was dismantled.”
“Dismantled?”
“Akenton left as he was with the Sound Language would be too dangerous to be allowed to roam loose on the Other side. He had no ethics to guide him. In short, he had his power taken away. Then his Entity forced him to experience all he’d done to others from their point of view. All the pain, anguish, and terror.” Charles paused, running a hand over his chin. “I carry those memories within me now. Including what was done to the two children that caused your family to go after Akenton. I understand this desire to snuff out Akenton. But Akenton carries with him those experiences too, and they have changed him. His energy signature is vastly different from your essence memories. He would be unrecognizable to you. Would you like to see what he is doing now?”
“Yes, I would.” Shaken, Astera nodded.
Charles nodded. “Good. Tonight, when you sleep, I will come by and we will travel to the reality where he lives and works.”
“Works?”
“He works with life forms that are growing into a decision making consciousness. This requires an enormous amount of patience. Your search for him has not borne fruit because his change has been so profound. You were looking for an energy signature from the past that no longer exists.”
That night in the dream state, Charles and Mary showed up, but they weren’t alone. Kodus, Marta, and Judith were there. Astera arrived. When we were oriented to each other, we followed Charles who moved sideways for want of a better word. We emerged in a tropical world watching an human-like Being amid a group of large parrots. A language of high human sounds in a raucous conversation erupted around us. The brightly colored birds of blue, green, yellow, and red perched high in a great tree. There must have been twenty-five birds in an extended family of all ages.
Charles touched the Being. He turned. The family resemblance was there, but this Being was mature and patience itself. “How can I help you?” The thought fed into our minds.
“These people come from another time and place. They are concerned about a time in the past,” Charles said.
The Being studied us and shook its head. “Sorry. I have no memories of you. I know Charles, as you call him. We share the same Source.” The Being turned to Astera. “I sense I offended you grievously in another time, but I have no memories of that. I have been told I did horrendous things, but those times have been removed from me so I could go on. From that past I have certain built in behaviors I cannot - will not do. For that I am profoundly grateful.”
He turned to Astera, “If I hurt you or yours, I ask your forgiveness, and give you my pledge it will not happen again.” The wise eyes studied her. “Beyond that I don’t know what I can do.” His face brightened into a smile. “You see my friends here ... ”
We returned to Cheshire. “I expected someone far different from the man we meant,” Astera said.
“He held the family essence,” Charles said.
“We know what Akenton did. How can these memories be removed?” Astera frowned. I could feel her distress.
“What has happened cannot be destroyed, but you can remove memories until the personality is mature enough to review and experience them,” Kodus said. “The memories are set aside. Entities are capable of programming and deprogramming their personalities. They can alter just about anything having to do with their creation, except take away their free will and their rights to experience the natural laws of the Creation.”
“Astera,” I said, “the carnage created by Akenton was deliberate, far-reaching, and affected a whole world before it was cut short on Adora. Justice and compensation for these acts comes from his understanding so they aren’t repeated.” I didn’t know if she could accept that. Knowing what Akenton had done, it was hard for me to accept a system based on personal growth, and not an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. There are personalities that are the linchpins of movements, wars, and horrendous acts. What happens to them? Like Julius Caesar, Genghis Khan, Tamerlane, Hitler and others who caused millions to be killed, ruined, and enslaved. That I could not fathom. In the scheme of things, Akenton certainly ranks up there. I had to remember that they did not operate alone, but were catalysts for followers that committed the carnage. I was pleased to only read about them in books.
We broke up after that. None of us satisfied. But I knew we were not done with the past. There were elements out there that needed to be resolved. Judith, as Marta the Queen, had surfaced once, and I knew would again. I hoped not in front of General Carson. And who would do it, out of mischief or a sincere desire to resurrect an ancient past. As Severin said, the Marta Entity was Adora. She had represented a world over thousands of years. Something not easily forgotten. The disaster of eugenics had lasted only a hundred years out of thousands. It took only that long to reduce Adora to an unlivable hell and snuff out the monarchy.
The hell of eugenics was simply being transferred to our planet. What lessons had been learned in Adora that could provide a solution or solutions? How could we direct the eugenicist’s energies? Using ethics and aiming them at genetic problems that could be solved using eugenics. That was my gut feeling.
The effort to destroy Kodus, perhaps thinking I was actually Kodus. That we shared the same Entity made the family resemblance. Did the assassin know the structure of the Soul or Entity, and simply decided to use me as a whipping boy? The act wasn’t finished. I’d already survived two attempts on my life. Hensley being egged on by Ren. Then Nick Ryan in his mindless attempt with the mysterious help of an unknown energy. Finally, the crying spider that I’d yet to encounter. Something I’d never dreamed of a couple of weeks ago. What else, who else was out there that I didn’t know about?
I had no place else to go but to a source I didn’t really know, trust, or understand. My Entity. A living structure with intents and interests I knew little about. But I was Its creation for better or worse, programmed with great cunning to place me in this place at this time. I was also the recipient of its past visiting me with a violence I’d never known before. But I had certain new abilities that provided an edge. What other abilities might be coming? I still, above all, had to rely on my intuition, and that came from my Entity. Back where I started. I had to meet face to face with my Entity.
I remember asking my Entity several times about past lives, but always got ‘you don’t want to know’. Now I understood a little. They weren’t my past lives but my Entity’s. Many of these lives were horrible, short, and filled with great hardships of suffering and pain. I had seen them in the corridor of dreams. The reasoning behind them was beyond me. I had access to the essence memories, but I wasn’t responsible for what other personalities had done or not done with their lives. I wasn’t responsible for what my Entity did or didn’t do. This life was new, and I was new, though carefully programmed by my Entity for this moment in time. That wasn’t encouraging or settling considering what was going on. I looked at the clock. It was early. I was determined to meet this creature that had created me and get some answers.
I slipped into sleep again, and found myself on a sunny patio before a lighthouse amid pine trees overlooking a blue-green sea. Turning, I faced a mature man in his early forties, silently watching me with eyes that seemed to hold endless experience. He perched on an ornamental blue rock. An aura of good humor and genuine interest radiated from him. “Jamie,” he said. “We’ve been avoi
ding each other. You have been afraid of what you might find, considering the bits and pieces you’ve encountered. They’ve made no sense and often produced fear and loathing. I understand this.” He jumped down in one fluid movement, grace itself, and stood behind a wooden bench hands resting on the back. “When I created you, I had no intention of sharing my past. That would trouble anyone who didn’t understand it. But the personalities we program and create have free will and independence that we cannot impinge on. That is part of the cost of creating something out of yourself. You must give the ultimate gift - total freedom. Personalities we create often surprise us, as you have me. You have insisted on understanding more than I expected.”
He frowned and looked around, then grew a grove of giant hundred foot ponderosa pines around us, giving a more protective air to the patio. Filtering the sun into more dappled shadows and lowering the temperature slightly. “Better. Always liked tall pines. And lighthouses. This lighthouse has a lower story with a long library study that overlooks the sea. Places for favorite books. Overstuffed chairs, desk, fireplace, and a small kitchen. Wonderful pieces of art displayed just the way you like them.” He watched me and smiled. “I recommend creating one when you come over on this side.”
“Why all the terrible short lives ... ” I began.
“What happens to the personalities after?” he finished for me. “First, we know we are eternal. Our personalities do not. We learn from our personalities believing everything is real. They are bread and butter ... ”
“You’re rather like vampires sucking up your personality’s experiences.”
He winced. “Crude, but true.”
“Say you created an orphaned child in Victorian England who was used as slave labor in the new industrial mills. The child dies of malnutrition, beatings, and pneumonia. Why do that?” I said.
“Okay. Look at your essence memories. You have certain things you absolutely will not do. Violating other life-forms. Where did you get this reverence for all life? From lives I created in other times. What happens to these abused personalities is what you really want to know?”
“Yeah. What is their compensation for a short disastrous life? What happens to them?” I could feel my anger welling, and felt a familiar energy calm me. The anger almost made me lose my focus.
“First, they have free will. They die and come over in various mental, emotional, and physical conditions. They have no definitive idea of where they came from and who we are. We contact them. Sometimes that’s hard considering what they’ve been through. They often become trapped in the belief systems they acquired in their lives. We work them through that gradually. Those we created with mental, emotional, physical problems and defects find themselves made whole. We use many techniques.
“Going to the Light is popular. Entities take any forms that are comforting to the personality - religious heroes, pets, friends, relatives and so on. There are rest homes available for the traumatized. There are orders of Beings that help in this regard. Some Entities are quite immature and will ignore their personalities once they have come over. There are Beings that help here too.“ He stopped taking a deep breath. ”You’d like to hear there is natural justice for an abused life, but there are no real compensations except the opportunity to learn. Learning and growing are rewards in themselves.“
“That awful.” I snorted in disgust. “It isn’t something people will want to hear. Why do I have so many abilities?”
He smiled, but it wasn’t pleasant. “You have need of them. There will be more to come. This is not done lightly. There is unfinished business from Adora and the wars with the eugenicists between Akenton and Mator.”
“Can they be settled without violence?” I asked. The unsettled horrors of the eugenics laboratories almost overwhelmed me. Again the calming energy.
“Come. Walk with me. I wish to show you some things. How to answer your last question? Settled is the right word. Some can. Some won’t.” We walked into the lighthouse, and I knew I’d been there before. I felt at home. I’d come home. The/ intense emotion made the dream wobble. My Entity placed a hand on my shoulder and I felt myself calm. “This is your refuge. A place you’ve been many times before to gather strength and information. To decide on future courses in your life.” He tapped my shoulder. “Remember.”
Memories and experiences flooded me. All in the space of seconds. But there was more to me than one life could contain. I’d been doing things in the dream state that didn’t require time. I’d been going to various schools without being consciously aware of it. I had acquaintances from only in the dream state. There were teachers and plain friends. Places we went just to have fun. It was a whole new part of me. I felt my Entity smile. “Good to introduce more of you to you.”
“Why didn’t I know about this before?” I asked.
My Entity laughed. “How many distractions do you need? You’re on Earth to focus your energies in a specific direction. If everyone remembered what they did in the dream state, they wouldn’t get any work done. The Veil of Forgetfulness we call it. A personality tool we use to keep a focus. It’s almost always used.”
We walked down tiled stairs from the living room and kitchen to the spacious wood paneled library study. So familiar now. Out on the large covered porch we watched a pod of whales blow and folic. “Will this Veil be lifted?”
“Only if you want it lifted. You can operate very successfully without it being lifted. You have up to this point.”
“Then keep it in place except when the information will help with our Earthly project,” I said. We went back into the study. “So how did you get involved with this Adora - Sound Language thing?”
“Entities or Souls are drawn naturally to certain things and may not even know why. I and Marta’s Entity had been involved with building Adora - world and nation building. It is a natural bent for us, and I suspect we got it from the Entities that created us. The eugenicists started innocently enough, until Akenton got involved and focused on the negative - the dark side.” He shook his head. “Before we knew it, it got out offhand.” He sat on the raised hearth before the cheerful crackling fire.
“So, what am I to you? Where do you begin and I end for you?” I said, lowering myself into a brown corduroy-covered easy chair.
“That is hard to say. You never end for me. My energy forms your flesh and other parts of your Being. That is where begotten not made comes in. Begotten is created out of yourself like a child. Made is like you creating a chair out of wood. Your free will defines you. The tools of time, experience, and self-interest allow you to grow away from me - like parent and child - you becoming a more independent self for better or worse.” He smiled.
“But you are my finest creation to date. Unlike a parent who leaves the scene because of time and circumstance, I will never leave. I will keep my distance and honor your free will, but the connection will never be broken. That is where the God thing come in - the eternal parent, but you are the boss.” He took a deep breath. “I can prompt you with information as in dreams, gut feelings, intuition, messengers in people with ideas, stories and experiences that will or could help, but you must be alert to them. They are the Language of the Entity or Soul. There are Beings that do this for personalities of immature Entities. They are never alone. The God thing again. Love and caring are the most powerful forces in the Universe. You will never be alone. You will never be alone ... ” I woke to tears soaking my T-shirt.
13
In the days to come with the rush of new technologies changing how we lived, I almost forgot the problems that lay just under the surface. We now had unlimited power in our community and the surrounding area including the fort. New types of lighting illuminated our homes and buildings, heating and cooling we had not known before, and all this added up to a comfort zone we had to get used to. Refrigeration and freezing of food started up again. In many ways it was a new world, without the shadows of the old. Years ago intense Solar flares had ruined most of the satellites along w
ith the businesses that depended on them. The astronauts on the International Space Station had barely escaped with their lives when they bailed during a solar storm. Whole new world.
General Carson flew out to Cheshire early one morning with Derek Randolph, and a very tall man who had to unfold himself from his seat to get out of the chopper. “Brian Muldower. Jamie.” Carson gestured. I accepted a firm handshake from the largest hands I’d ever seen. Blue eyes and thick white hair.
“Brian,” I said, and immediately felt a need to act with great care.
“Brian is Director of National Intelligence, Jamie,” Carson said.
Brian’s blue eyes studied me speculatively from his great height. “I’ve heard superhuman things about you, Jamie. What do I do with you?”
I felt slammed against a wall, breathless with panic with no place to go. Inner panic, traced back to a past personality, a Spanish converso, dying in an auto-da-fe, tortured, finally strangled and burned at the stake by the Spanish Inquisition. God Almighty, what Entities do to their personalities. I pushed the personality away. I smiled. “You do nothing with me, Mr. Muldower. I am not a disease, nor a criminal. I have broken no law. I was born and raised in Flagstaff. I am not yours to command.” I paused, seeing the shock on his face. He spoke for a nation and he knew it. He wasn’t used to anyone challenging him in anyway. To allow myself into his power and control was out of the question. “You and this nation, this world, have nothing to fear from me or the aliens.”
Muldower’s lips turned thin and his eyes examined me; he was not intimidated in the slightest. I could feel the gut catching fear from the converso, and shoved it away again. Muldower’s Entity had a personality who had been an inquisitor who enjoyed the power and the terror he brought into people’s lives. The converso had been one of his victims. I smiled at him, knowing.
Children of the Source Page 20
