by Joan Jonker
‘Why didn’t yer ’usband come ’imself?’ The woman’s eyes were half closed against the smoke wafting up from the cigarette still dangling between her thin lips. ‘Can’t he do his own messages?’
‘My husband’s ill.’ Eileen counted slowly up to three. She didn’t want to lose her temper, but if this woman didn’t stop looking her up and down as though she was a piece of dirt, she’d clock her one! ‘And besides, he doesn’t know I’m ’ere. He’d kill me if he did!’
‘I don’t know what it is yer after, but whatever it is yer’ll be lucky to get it from my feller! If I can’t get anythin’ out of him, I’m bleedin’ sure you won’t!’
They were sizing each other up like opponents in a boxing ring. Eileen felt at a disadvantage because standing on the step, the woman was able to look down on her. But Eileen wasn’t going to be intimidated. Thinks she’s tough, does she? Well she’s met her match! And I feel sorry for her husband if this is what he had to come home to. ‘Well, are yer goin’ to let me talk to ’im?’
The woman threw her cigarette into the street, missing Eileen’s face by inches. ‘Please yerself! But yer’ll get nothin’ out of ’im!’
As Eileen followed Mrs Kennedy down the hall the smell hit her with full force. It was a combination of dirt and bugs, and Eileen could feel herself retching. She pressed hard on her tummy and tried not to breathe in, but the smell was so overpowering she could feel herself going weak at the knees. ‘There he is.’ Mrs Kennedy nodded to the man sitting in a chair, staring into space. ‘Sits there all bleedin’ day and never opens ’is mouth.’ A look Eileen could only describe as hatred, flitted across the woman’s face. ‘He may as well ’ave stopped where he was, for all the good ’e is.’
Swallowing her distaste, Eileen stood in front of the man who seemed not to hear his wife’s voice. ‘Hello, Mr Kennedy! My name’s Eileen Gillmoss, an’ my ’usband came up from the army camp with yer.’
Tired eyes, filled with hopelessness and despair, met hers. And Eileen felt she could have been looking into Bill’s eyes, except that this man’s were blue. He wasn’t as thin as Bill, and he still had his mousey-coloured hair, apart from a few odd streaks of white. But the sadness written on his face told Eileen that here was someone suffering as Bill was. ‘I ’ope yer didn’t mind me comin’,’ Eileen knew she’d wait till Doomsday before Mrs Kennedy invited her to sit down, so she pulled up a chair and placed it next to Arthur’s, ‘only Bill was wonderin’ how yer were gettin’ on.’
‘Yer wasting yer time!’ Mrs Kennedy picked up a packet of cigarettes from a sideboard that was thick with dust and finger marks. As she lit up, Eileen noticed they were the same American Camel cigarettes that Ivan smoked. ‘He sits there all day like one of Lewis’s! Neither use nor ornament!’
Eileen flashed her an angry look before turning back to Arthur. ‘I guess yer like my Bill! He doesn’t feel too good, either!’
‘If he feels like me, then he knows what hell is like!’ The strength of tone surprised Eileen, and from the sharp intake of breath behind her, it had also surprised his wife.
‘Well, my God, it can talk!’ Sarcasm dripped from Mrs Kennedy’s lips, and Eileen could have willingly strangled her. Fancy a sick man having to put up with a wife like her!
‘How would you know?’ Arthur stared hard at his wife. ‘You’re never in the house!’
Eileen’s eyes rolled from one to the other. Her brain was working overtime, putting together the American cigarettes and Arthur’s statement. It sounded as though his wife was a fly turn! She certainly looked like one, with her made-up face, and tarty clothes. She was probably one of the many women who hung around the American camps waiting to be picked up.
You could almost touch the tension in the room, and Eileen felt partly responsible for upsetting a man who obviously needed help as much as her Bill. ‘Have yer seen a doctor since yer came ’ome, Arthur?’
He shook his head. ‘When we were in the rehabilitation camp, they told us it would take a long time to adjust.’ He flung his arm out to encompass the room, and there was such bitterness in his voice, Eileen’s heart went out to him. ‘How do you adjust to this? And how do you adjust to your wife going out every night all tarted up?’
‘There’s nothin’ to keep me in, is there?’ Mrs Kennedy stood with her hands on her hips, a sneer on her hard face. ‘Yer can’t even …’
‘Shut up, Sylvia!’ The words were like a shot out of a gun. ‘Why don’t you go where you go every night, and leave me in peace?’
Oh, Lord, what have I done? Eileen screwed her eyes up. I came here for help and end up causing a row! Then she thought, no, I haven’t done any harm! I’ve probably given him the chance to let off steam, and that can only do him good!
Sylvia Kennedy tapped Eileen on the shoulder. ‘I suppose yer expect a cup of tea?’
Thinking of the dirty state the kitchen would be in, Eileen shook her head. Besides, she wanted nothing from this woman. Fancy being a prisoner for years and coming home to this! At least Bill had her and the kids, and a clean home! ‘No, ta!’
Eileen’s eyes showed her dislike, and Mrs Kennedy’s lips curled. ‘Please yerself!’
If I could please myself, Eileen thought, I’d have you hung, drawn and quartered! She sniffed her disapproval and turned back to Arthur. ‘Have yez got any family?’
‘Two boys,’ he told her, ‘they should be home from school soon.’
Eileen looked at the clock. Her kids would be home soon, and she’d told Bill she was only calling to Mary’s for half an hour and would be home in time for their tea. So Eileen decided to stop pussyfooting around and get on with it. Otherwise her visit was going to be a wasted one.
‘Would yer leave us alone for a few minutes?’ Eileen’s face told Sylvia she would be ill advised to refuse.
‘I was goin’ to the shops, anyway! Yer can ’ave all the time in the world!’
‘I’m sorry about that,’ Eileen said when they were alone. ‘But I’m so worried about me ’usband, I don’t know where to turn! I thought you might be able to ’elp, seein’ as yer went through what he did. He won’t tell me anything … never talks about what ’appened when he was a prisoner, and he’s so quiet and withdrawn. I’m at me wits end, wonderin’ what to do to help ’im.’
‘He’s a lucky man, having someone who cares about him! My wife, as you have seen, couldn’t care less!’
‘Can you talk about what yer went through, or is it too painful?’
‘Oh, I can talk about it all right, but no one wants to know! It’s over now, so forget it! That’s what they say! What they don’t understand is that you can’t just forget!’ Arthur’s voice was filled with passion as his story poured out. Every now and again he would stop, close his eyes and struggle to compose himself. Eileen could see and hear his distress as he recounted tale after tale of torture and degradation.
Eileen sat silent, hardly breathing. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined prisoners of war being treated in the way Arthur was describing. It wasn’t human!
‘But who cares?’ Arthur asked, his voice filled with bitterness. ‘You’re home now, so forget about it, they say! But how the hell can you forget things like that?’
Arthur dropped his head for a few seconds, and when he raised it his eyes met Eileen’s. ‘I’m sorry about that! I’ve been wanting to get it off me chest, but I shouldn’t have put you through it. It’s just that you’re the only one who’s shown any interest!’
‘I’m glad yer’ve told me, and I thank yer, because it will ’elp me understand what Bill’s gone through.’
‘It’s me who should be thanking you!’ Arthur told her. ‘I really needed to talk it all out of me system. Perhaps I’ll be able to sleep tonight, now.’ Then Arthur remembered why Eileen had come. And a picture flashed through his mind of the man who’d sat next to him in the Jeep for the short journey from the station. The man had never opened his mouth, but he didn’t have to. That he’d suffered more than most was
written all over him. Arthur looked into Eileen’s eyes and saw the kindness there that was missing from his own wife’s. ‘I don’t know what your husband went through, because we weren’t in the same prisoner of war camp. But after we were liberated and came back to England, we heard that some camps were a lot worse than the one I was in.’
Eileen met his gaze. ‘You’ve helped me more than yer know, Arthur! And when yer feel up to it, come and see me an’ Bill! Yer’d be more than welcome.’
After giving the address, Eileen held her hand out and impulsively kissed Arthur on the cheek. Then she made her departure.
Chapter Ten
Eileen held on to the door frame while she stepped sideways into the street. With her bust being the size it was, she couldn’t always see where her feet were landing. ‘If there was any justice in this world, Arthur, I’d be as thin as a rake!’
Arthur had followed Eileen down the hall, and he understood when she gulped in the fresh sea air wafted in from the Mersey. After the sickly stench of the house, the air smelled like Evening in Paris perfume to Eileen. ‘She wasn’t always like this, you know!’ A wistful expression crossed his face as he remembered the young girl he’d married. ‘She was nice looking, took pride in her appearance, kept the house clean and was a good mother to the boys. Then the war came, and I’ve been away for so long she probably got lonely. Unfortunately she got in with the wrong company, and you can see for yourself how she’s ended up.’
Eileen’s feelings were a mixture of sadness and anger. She’d got on like a house on fire with Arthur, and she’d learned a lot from him. He’d needed someone to talk to, and Eileen felt a burning anger against the wife who couldn’t be bothered to listen. But she hadn’t come to cause trouble between man and wife, so she kept her own counsel. ‘The air’s lovely and fresh down ’ere! Good as a dose of medicine!’
‘We’re right on the sea, that’s why! You can’t see it from here, but if you look straight ahead when you turn the corner, you’ll see the ships in the Mersey.’
Eileen lifted her hand in farewell. ‘Ta-ra, Arthur! Don’t forget what I said about comin’ to see us! Yer’d be very welcome, and it’d do Bill good to ’ave a man to talk to.’
‘We’ll see!’ Arthur returned Eileen’s wave. ‘Give him my regards.’ He watched her retreating back for a while, then sighed as his mind returned to his own worries. He didn’t know what was going to happen with him and Sylvia. She’d changed that much he didn’t know her any more. He’d tried reasoning with her, but she wouldn’t listen, and she adamantly refused to give up her friends. Sometimes he thought she was sorry he’d come home.
Head down, Eileen started to walk quickly. The kids would be home from school and there was nothing in for the dinner. It’d have to be something from the chippie, like it or lump it! The kids would be happy, they liked nothing better than proper chips, wrapped in newspaper.
Eileen was so deep in thought when she turned the corner she didn’t see anyone before her until they collided. ‘Ooops! I’m sorry, I …’ The automatic apology died on Eileen’s lips when recognition dawned. ‘Oh, it’s you!’
Mrs Kennedy, her actions slow and deliberate, drew heavily on the cigarette she was smoking, then blew the smoke directly into Eileen’s face. ‘Yer know what they mean now on the posters that ask “is your journey really necessary”, ’cos I bet your journey’s been a complete waste of time. I said yer’d get nowt out of my feller! He’s had it! He’s not even any good in bed!’
The cocky expression fled, leaving a look of alarm on her face when Eileen moved in on her, pressing her back against the wall. ‘What the ’ell d’yer think yer doin’, fatty?’
‘What I’d like to do is put me fist right in yer gob!’ Eileen hissed. ‘But instead, I’ll give yer a piece of me mind! I wouldn’t normally waste me breath on a tart like you, but I will for Arthur’s sake! Yer’ve got a good man there, far too good for the likes of you! All he needs is someone to talk to, someone to understand, and he’d be as right as rain in no time. So I suggest yer take my advice an’ get ’ome an’ clean the place up for a start, ’cos it stinks! Then sit down and get to know yer husband again.’ Eileen’s hand was on the wall behind Mrs Kennedy, keeping her prisoner. Their faces were almost touching. ‘That’s if he’ll let yer, of course! Not many men would fancy a tart for a wife! If it was my ’usband, yer’d be out on yer ear!’
Eileen’s hand dropped and Arthur’s wife quickly stepped away. ‘You don’t frighten me, fatty! Why don’t yer toddle off ’ome and mind yer own business?’
‘Oh, I’m goin’, don’t worry! In fact I can’t get away from yer quick enough! The gas works smells better than you do!’ Eileen said. ‘But when Arthur walks out on yer, don’t say yer weren’t warned!’
Eileen stepped off the bus at the Pier Head just as one of the ferries landed, and she was caught up in the rush of people making for the buses which would take them home after a day’s work. She groaned when she saw the queue and knew she wouldn’t be getting on the first bus. It was half past five now, and it would be at least another three quarters of an hour before she got home. There’d be blue murder when her mother got hold of her, for leaving Bill for so long.
The first bus filled up and pulled away, leaving Eileen sixth in the line for the next one. Her eyes were on the people in front of her, but she didn’t see them. Her mind was in a whirl, thinking of what Arthur had told her, the little set to she’d had with his wife, and what excuse she was going to make when she got home. That was the worst of telling lies, you always had to tell more to get away with the first one!
But it had been worth it, Eileen told herself. Talking to Arthur had been a great help, and she’d had her eyes opened. She understood a bit more about how Bill felt, and what he’d gone through, and how patient she was going to have to be. And she swore she’d have the patience of a saint, ’cos she loved her Bill very much.
Eileen’s thoughts turned to Arthur and his wife. Fancy going away to fight for your country and coming home to that! How in the name of God was he going to get better living in filth, with a wife who was little better than a prostitute?
Eileen shivered. It was well known that the girls who hung around the docks ended up with VD. And then they passed it on to other people. Wouldn’t it be terrible if that happened to Arthur?
A frown crossed Eileen’s face when she recalled his wife’s words. ‘He’s not even any good in bed!’ And into Eileen’s mind came the picture of Bill turning his back on her. It had to be a coincidence! She wasn’t a tart like Mrs Kennedy! She could understand Arthur not wanting to touch his wife, knowing she was messing about with other men! But it was different with her and Bill! She’d never let another man touch her, and Bill knew that! And since he’d been home she’d showed in every way that she loved and cared for him.
The bus screeched to a halt and the line moved forward. Eileen pulled herself on board with the thought that she was letting her imagination run away with her. I’m being daft, she told herself, taking a seat by the window and leaving a quarter vacant for a man who equalled her in size. She didn’t even notice when he tried in vain to push her up, so he could at least get part of his backside on the seat. As it was, the poor man spent the entire journey sitting on air with a prayer on his lips.
Maggie was standing in the street with the girls when Eileen turned the corner, and they made a dash for her. ‘Where the hell have you been?’ Maggie demanded. ‘There was nothing in for the tea, so we’ve had nothing to eat!’
‘Don’t get off yer bike, Mam, I’ll pick yer dummy up!’ Eileen managed a smile. ‘The world won’t come to an end because yez got yer tea late!’
‘But you’ve left Bill all this time! I’m really surprised at you, our Eileen! Where’ve you been till now?’
‘Mam, will yer keep yer ’air on, for heaven’s sake! Anyone would think another war had started!’ Eileen opened her scruffy purse. ‘Here’s five bob, Joan, run to the chippie and get five lots of chips, f
our fishcakes and one fish.’
‘Ooh, great!’ Joan grabbed the two half-crowns and legged it down the street fast, with Edna close on her heels. That’s two satisfied customers, anyway, Eileen smiled to herself. Now to smooth things over with Bill and me mam.
‘Come on, Mam, let’s set the table.’
Maggie grabbed her arm. ‘Hang on a minute, I’ve got Something to tell you. Father Younger called before, but I told him Bill wasn’t too well, and I didn’t let him in. I felt terrible keeping him on the step, but I didn’t know what to do!’
‘Well, yer weren’t tellin’ lies, so what yer worryin’ about? An’ he knows Bill was a prisoner of war for five years, so he should understand!’
‘He said he’d come back at seven o’clock, when you were in.’ Maggie spoke quietly, but when she saw the look of dismay on Eileen’s face, her voice rose. ‘What the heck was I supposed to say? That he wasn’t wanted?’
‘Shit!’ Eileen screwed her eyes up and stamped her foot. ‘Bill’s not in the mood for visitors, Mam! Couldn’t yer ’ave just told Father Younger that? He wouldn’t have minded!’
‘I did try, love, but he wouldn’t have it! Said it was his duty to see Bill! And you know what Father Younger’s like! I’d rather face a raging tiger than him! Would you have had the nerve to turn him away?’
‘No, Mam, I’d ’ave been a coward, just like you!’ Eileen took her mother’s arm and led her to the front door. ‘We’d better get our skates on and see to the tea before he comes.’
Maggie could feel her daughter’s body start to shake and she looked at her with surprise. ‘Don’t tell me you can see anything remotely funny in this? Your sense of humour is beyond me, sometimes!’
‘I was just thinkin’, I should ’ave asked our Joan to get an extra fish for our visitor.’
Chapter Eleven
It was half past seven and there was still no sign of Father Younger. The tea had been hurriedly eaten, with Maggie standing by ready to snatch each plate as the last mouthful was eaten, to wash and put away out of sight. That the priest would never see the kitchen didn’t deter Maggie. He was a very important person in her eyes and it was out of respect for his station in life that everything in the house had to be just so. No newspapers could be left to litter the floor, Bill’s ash tray was washed every time he finished a cigarette, and if she straightened the runner on the sideboard once, she straightened it a dozen times. Billy had been allowed to go out when his mates had called for him, but much to the disgust of his sisters, they were made to stay in and told to behave themselves, or else! So far they’d sat quietly together on the couch, but as the minutes ticked by, they were starting to get restless. ‘It’s not fair!’ Joan whispered to Edna. ‘Why could our Billy be let out, but not us?’
