by Joan Jonker
‘I remember her! She ’ad a big nose, an’ a squint in one eye,’ Eileen said triumphantly. ‘An’ I used to call her Hally?’
‘That’s right!’ Maggie laughed at the memory. ‘She used to spoil you soft. I missed her when we moved to Walton, ’cos she was a good neighbour.’
Eileen was leaning back against the wall, glad of a small break away from the heavy mangle. ‘I started school then, didn’t I?’
‘Don’t remind me of that!’ Maggie clicked her tongue. ‘I used to have to drag you through those school gates, kicking and screaming. You made a holy show of me.’
Eileen’s chubby cheeks, wet with sweat, moved upwards into a smile. ‘I ’aven’t changed much, ’ave I?’
‘Except that you’re cheekier and louder,’ Maggie said. ‘Anyway, come and take this sheet off me. Me arm’s dropping off with the weight.’
Eileen stuck three wooden pegs in her mouth and relieved Maggie of the sheet. Waddling to the door, she muttered, ‘I wish some bright spark would invent paper clothes an’ sheets. It would do away with all this runnin’ round on a Monday like blue-arsed flies.’
‘Why not go the whole hog,’ Maggie asked, ‘and have paper cups and plates? Then we’d have nothing to do all day but sit on our backsides.’
Eileen was smiling when she went to hang the sheet out, but seconds later she returned with a scowl on her face. ‘Wouldn’t yer bloody know it! It’s startin’ to flamin’ spit!’
Maggie sighed. ‘D’you want to bring the clothes in now, before it starts to throw it down?’
‘Nah! Sod it! If it rains they can stay out all night. Right now I’m goin’ to make a drink an’ get a warm by the fire.’
Maggie looked through the window into the yard, where the wet clothes were hanging limp. There didn’t seem to be the slightest breeze out, and the sky was very overcast. She hoped the rain would stay off long enough to get some of the wet out of the clothes, so they could be brought in. Mr Williamson up the street let his pigeons out at six every morning, and they weren’t fussy where their droppings landed.
Maggie sat at the table, her hands curled round a cup of hot tea. ‘I can’t make out why Bill’s going to see the doctor. He hasn’t complained of not feeling well, and he looks fine to me.’
‘Don’t be worryin’, missus, there’s nothin’ wrong with ’im!’ Eileen’s legs were stretched out to catch the warmth from the fire. ‘It’s just that ’e gets tired quickly, an’ he wants a tonic.’
‘Please God, that’s all it is,’ Maggie said. ‘There’s enough trouble and woe without Bill getting sick.’
‘Thinkin’ about Vera, are yer? I’ve just been doin’ the same.’ Eileen stared into the flames. ‘When I get enough energy back to move me backside, I’ll empty the dolly tub, make us a bite to eat, then walk round there.’ With a half smile on her face, she asked, ‘Fancy comin’ round there with me? I thought, if Danny does take off, you could ’old ’im while I belt ’im one.’
‘If that’s what you think, then you’ve got another think coming.’ Maggie’s lips formed a straight line. ‘I wouldn’t go within a mile of that man.’
Eileen roused herself. ‘Well, sittin’ here isn’t goin’ to get the tub emptied, so I’d better get crackin’.’
‘You shouldn’t sit so near the fire, anyway,’ Maggie warned. ‘You’ll end up with burn marks all over the front of your legs, and there’s nothing worse on a woman. Shows she’s lazy and sits in front of the fire all day.’
Eileen’s bust swelled as she stood to attention and saluted. ‘Aye, aye, Captain.’ She did a swift turn, ‘To the left, q-ui-ck march!’
Maggie pushed her chair back, tutting. What could you do with someone like her daughter? ‘I’m nipping down the yard for a sweet one.’
‘Say one for me while yer down there,’ Eileen called.
Maggie came back from the yard shivering. Wrapping her cardi closely around her body, she said, ‘It’s starting to rain.’
‘Yer a barrel of laughs, you are, missus!’ Eileen heaved the heavy bucket of water from the tub and tipped it down the sink. ‘Any more good news, while yer at it?’
‘Yes, there is, clever clogs,’ Maggie said. ‘There’s no paper in the lavvy.’
‘Milly’s got no toilet paper in, so it’ll ’ave to be newspaper.’ Eileen turned to the tub to refill the bucket. ‘I’ll see to it when I’ve emptied this flamin’ thing.’
Eileen and Maggie were having their lunch when Vera arrived with Carol. Forever thinking she was a nuisance, Vera eyed the plates of sandwiches and began to apologise. ‘I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have come if I’d known you were having your lunch. I’ll only stay a minute.’
‘For cryin’ out loud, will yer stop worryin’!’ Eileen said. ‘Yer’ve saved me a journey, ’cos I was comin’ round to yours, after.’
Vera had her long auburn hair brushed back off her face and tied with a dark blue ribbon. She looked pale and nervous, her tongue darting out to wet her lips every few seconds. ‘Danny went out early so I took the chance to come while the coast was clear. I knew you’d be on pins wondering how things were.’
‘D’yer want a Spam buttie, sunshine?’ As Eileen smiled down at Carol, it flashed through her mind that no matter how troubled Vera was, she always kept her daughter nice. The round, moon-like face was shining with health, her hair was neatly brushed, and Eileen could smell the fragrance of the scented soap she’d been washing with.
Vera pulled Carol to her. ‘Let Auntie Eileen have her dinner in peace. You had something to eat before we came out.’
Speaking with her mouth full, Eileen said, ‘Park yer carcass, Vera, an’ let’s ’ave yer news.’
‘Well, he didn’t tell me, but I heard Danny telling the boys he was going down to the docks today, to see his mates. He’s probably gone to see about getting his old job back.’
Eileen picked a crumb from the table and popped it in her mouth. ‘Has ’e been up to any shinanigans?’
Vera shrugged her shoulders. ‘He never opened his mouth at all yesterday after Bill had left. The boys stayed in all day and I think that put a halt to his gallop.’ She ran a hand over Carol’s hair before dropping a kiss on her cheek. ‘He went to the pub as usual, and when he came back I was in Carol’s bed pretending to be asleep. I heard him open the door and look in, but I kept me eyes closed and Carol was away to the world.’
Eileen pushed her plate away and lifted Carol on to her lap, smothering her with kisses. ‘Who’s a clever little girl? An’ who’s got a clever mummy?’ Looking over her head, Eileen winked. ‘Yer want to sleep in Carol’s bed every night. Might bring ’im to ’is senses.’
‘A letter came for him this morning, from Holland.’ Vera pinched her lips, nervously. ‘I took it up and threw it on the bed. When he came down an hour later, he was humming to himself and had a smile on his face.’
Eileen’s face did contortions. ‘Ooh, fancy that! Who was it from?’
‘I haven’t a clue,’ Vera said. ‘But whoever it was from he seemed very pleased with himself.’ She lowered her head. ‘When he’d gone out, I went up to the bedroom to look for the letter, but there was no sign. He must have taken it out with him.’
‘It was probably from one of his army mates.’ Eileen tickled Carol’s tummy, bringing forth gales of laughter. ‘Some of our soldiers are still over there.’
‘No, it wasn’t,’ Vera said quietly. ‘The handwriting didn’t look English to me.’
Maggie stood up and collected the plates. ‘I’ll rinse these through, then start on the potatoes. You sit and talk to Vera.’
In the kitchen, Maggie put the dishes in the sink and gazed out of the window at the white-washed yard wall. Life was changing, she thought, and I’m too old to keep up with it. When her husband had been alive, their whole lives were centred around each other and the children. They wouldn’t have dreamt of looking at anyone else. But it wasn’t like that now. Men were coming home from the war to find their wives had been chea
ting on them … some even had babies to other men.
Maggie sighed. Life had been hard all those years ago, when many men couldn’t find work and wives were hard put to make ends meet. But at least families pulled together, and stayed together. People said they were the bad old days, but Maggie looked back on them with nostalgia. They might not have had much in material things, and, yes, there were many days when the only way to put a meal on the table was by a visit to the pawn shop. But the one thing she had always been sure of was her husband’s love for her and the children.
Maggie put the plug in the sink and turned the tap on. No woman could ask for more than that.
Eileen folded a newspaper in half and ran a knife between the folds. ‘It didn’t rain much, after all, Mam.’ She folded and cut the paper twice more, then passed the squares to her mother. ‘I’m glad I didn’t bring the clothes in, ’cos there’s a good dry out, now.’
Maggie punched a hole in the corner of the squares with a screw driver, then threaded a piece of string through. ‘I’ll iron a few things tonight, then we can do the rest tomorrow.’
Eileen kept a key on a length of string inside the letter box in case of emergency, and she now heard the key rattling against the door as it was pulled upwards. She glanced at the clock. ‘The kids are ’ome early.’
Joan stood framed in the doorway, puffing and panting. ‘D’yer know that Joey Wilson? Well, ’e’s just chased me down the street, an’ when he grabbed me coat I felt me blouse tear.’
‘What was ’e chasin’ yer for?’
‘I dunno.’ Joan blushed bright red as she scraped the lino with the toe of her shoe. ‘He said ’e was goin’ to kiss me.’
‘Did yer clock ’im one?’ Eileen asked, indignantly.
‘I kicked ’im on the shin.’ Joan hunched her shoulders up and giggled. ‘I didn’t ’alf hurt ’im too, ’cos he hobbled down the street an’ his face was all screwed up.’
‘Good for you, sunshine!’ Eileen laughed. ‘Never let a feller get the better of yer.’
Joan dropped her coat on the floor and lifted her arm. ‘Just look what the daft begger did.’
Eileen was silent as she eyed the rip in the side of the blouse. My God, she was only just thirteen, and she had a bust! For the first time, Eileen realised her daughter was filling out. The spindly legs were becoming shapely, her face had lost that thin, peaked look, and the school uniform which had once hung loosely, was now stretched tight across her chest. The skinny ugly duckling was changing into a swan.
‘Put these squares on the nail in the lavvy for us, then change into an old dress to play out in. I’ll sew yer blouse later, ready for school temorrer.’
When Joan dashed down the yard, Eileen made a face at her mother. ‘Kids grow up quick these days, don’t they, Mam? She’s only ’ad that blouse an’ gymslip a few months, an’ she’s grown out of them already. The gymslip’s up to ’er backside, an’ the blouse fits where it touches.’
‘She’s as tall as you now.’ Maggie nodded. ‘She left me behind ages ago.’
‘Aye, but you’re only a midget, Mam.’ Eileen laughed. ‘Even our Edna’s taller than you.’
Maggie huffed. ‘You know the old saying, that good stuff comes in little parcels.’
‘So does poison.’ Eileen lifted an arm as though fending off a blow. ‘So put that in yer pipe an’ smoke it, missus.’ She peeked cheekily under her raised arm. ‘That was a joke, missus, an’ yer supposed to laugh.’
‘Oh, I’m laughing me head off,’ Maggie said huffily. ‘In fact, I’m splitting me sides, it was so funny.’
Bill was very late getting in and Eileen had got herself so het up with worry, she jumped on him. ‘Where the ’ell ’ave yer been? I’ve been out of me mind, thinkin’ all sorts of things ’ad ’appened to yer.’
Bill’s smile was forced. ‘There were a few before me in the surgery so I had to wait.’
Eileen watched him take his coat off, and when he didn’t volunteer any further information, she asked, ‘Well? Are yer goin’ to tell us, or do we ’ave to drag it out of yer?’
Maggie tutted. ‘Give the man a chance to get in the door, for heaven’s sake.’
‘There’s nothing much to tell you, chick.’ Bill didn’t meet Eileen’s eyes. ‘It’s just as I said, I need a tonic.’
‘Bill Gillmoss, are you tellin’ me the truth?’ Eileen stood in the middle of the room, her feet spaced apart, her hands on her hips. ‘If yer keepin’ anythin’ from me, so ’elp me, I’ll flatten yer.’
‘Eileen, if you don’t believe me, go and see Doctor Greenfield.’ Bill’s face was pale, his voice weary. ‘He said there’s nothing wrong with me that iron tablets, and cod liver oil and malt, wouldn’t put right.’
Eileen’s eyes became slits. She wanted to believe him, but something about the set of his face convinced her he wasn’t being perfectly honest with her. But she could feel her mother’s eyes on her and decided she’d get the truth out of him later. ‘I’ll get yer some from the chemist’s temorrer. An’ if yer not swingin’ from the lamp-posts like Tarzan in a few weeks, I’ll be round to that surgery meself.’
‘I can’t promise that, chick, but I’ll do me best.’ Bill fell back into his chair and fished in his pocket for his packet of Capstan. ‘The neighbours might think it funny though, if I start swinging from lamp-posts.’
‘Yer needn’t light up that fag,’ Eileen said. ‘Yer dinner is boiled dry as it is. I expected yer ’ome an hour ago.’
‘Just a couple of puffs, chick, I’m not really hungry, anyway, I’ve gone past it.’
‘Yer’ll eat yer dinner an’ like it, Bill Gillmoss! I’ve made some broth with pigs trotters, carrots, split peas, and barley. It’s lovely an’ thick, an’ it’ll put a linin’ on yer tummy.’
Bill returned the unlit cigarette to the packet. ‘I may as well give in, ’cos you’ll have your own way no matter what I say.’
Eileen marched to the kitchen, missing the wink exchanged between Bill and her mother. But she heard Maggie saying, ‘I don’t know who she takes after. I still think they got the babies mixed up in Oxford Street, an’ I got the wrong one.’
Eileen’s head appeared round the door. ‘Ay, don’t be talkin’ about me be’ind me back. I ’aven’t got cloth ears, yer know.’ Her head disappeared for a second, and when it reappeared her brows were drawn together in a frown. ‘Yer know, Mam, I think yer may be right about me bein’ someone else’s baby. ’Cos I must ’ave got me good looks from someone.’
Eileen ducked when her mother sent a cushion hurtling through the air.
‘Now, now, temper!’ Eileen wagged a finger. ‘Yer see, Bill, there’s another sign that I don’t belong ’ere. How could anyone with a sweet nature like mine, come from a mother who throws things?’
While Bill grinned, Maggie clicked her teeth. ‘I give up. She’s beyond redemption.’
‘I expected Arthur to come tonight to see ’ow Vera ’ad got on.’ Eileen was sewing the tear in Joan’s blouse and wasn’t making a very good job of it. Her hands were too fat to hold the needle properly, and the stitches were like tacking stitches. ‘He seems to be very interested in ’er affairs.’ Eileen broke off the cotton with her teeth and looked with disgust at her handiwork. ‘I’d never make any money as a seamstress, that’s for sure.’ She folded the blouse neatly over the back of her chair. ‘It’s a pity he’s not married to Vera. They’d make a nice couple.’
Bill looked at her sharply. ‘Don’t go matchmaking, chick. They’re both married and that’s the end of that.’
Eileen leaned forward, her chubby hands resting on her chubby knees. ‘Now we’ve talked about everything under the sun, except the price of fish, let’s get down to brass tacks. What really ’appened at the doctor’s?’
‘I’ve told you, chick, I just went …’
Eileen broke in. ‘Come off it, Bill Gillmoss! D’yer think I’m daft? Yer came in ’ere lookin’ like death warmed up, an’ yer expect me to believe yer only we
nt for a tonic? I might have been the last in the queue when they were dishin’ beauty out, but I did manage to get a few brains. I wasn’t born yesterday, yer know.’
Bill looked down at his hands. He hadn’t gone to the doctor’s for a tonic, and Eileen was entitled to know the truth. But he couldn’t bear to see the look he knew he’d see on her face if he told her what the doctor had said. That his impotence was due to the deprivation and degradation he’d suffered in the prison camp. It was something that could last a year or two, or even longer. It could even last forever.
Bill’s conscience was in conflict. He knew he should be honest with Eileen, but he lacked the courage to tell her now. He would have to eventually, but not now … not tonight.
‘Chick, if I don’t feel any better in a couple of weeks, you can come to the doctor’s with me, and hear for yourself what he’s got to say. Now, does that satisfy you?’
‘It’ll ’ave to, I suppose.’ Eileen screwed her face up and rubbed her nose. ‘I’ll get yer them things from the chemist temorrer, an’ we’ll see ’ow yer go on.’ Wearily she rose from the chair. Why hadn’t he asked the doctor about something else, something more important than tired bones? Something that affected them both and was driving them further away from each other. Because they were drifting apart, even though she didn’t want to admit it. The way they were living now, they were more like brother and sister than man and wife.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
‘I wonder what’s up with our Rene, she ’asn’t been for weeks.’ Eileen stood back to inspect herself in the mirror. She licked a finger and thumb and tried to coax a strand of hair into a kiss curl. But the second she removed her fingers the hair flopped down on her forehead. ‘It’s not like ’er to leave it so long.’ With a look of disgust at the lank, thin hair, she turned from the mirror and reached for her coat. Thank God for small mercies, she thought, at least I’ve got a decent coat to me name. ‘If we ’ad a phone, I’d ring our Rene, to make sure there’s nothing wrong.’
