by Desiree Holt
Tara shook out her napkin and placed it in her lap, took a sip of iced tea and set down her glass. Might as well get this over with now.
“I saw my mother today,” she began.
Cole’s features tightened. “How did that go?”
“Fine, fine.” She sipped more tea. “She and my father have asked us to have dinner with them, if that’s all right with you.”
He put his fork down. “Tara, they’re your parents. They know you’re getting married. It’s reasonable they would want to get to know me better.”
A soft puff of breath whooshed from her in relief. One hurdle down. “I invited them here for dinner tomorrow night. Saturday. If we eat at eight,” she continued in a hurry, “Molly will be down for the evening. If they want to see her, I’ll take them up to the nursery. She won’t be part of the…festivities.”
A muscle jumped in Cole’s jaw line. “Fine. If that’s what you think would be best.”
She’d hoped for a little more enthusiasm, but at least, he hadn’t said no.“Thank you.” She picked up her fork then went on in a casual tone. “I was taking inventory for tomorrow night and noticed that your liquor cabinet is empty. Would you like me to restock it?”
“No.” He bit off the word, his tone vicious. “No liquor in this house. Wine for dinner, but that’s it.”
Tara was shocked. She wanted to ask him why, but at the look on his face, she kept her mouth shut. She was walking through a minefield here and would need to step very carefully. Then she almost stepped on one more.
“I apologize for not straightening your room today. I guess I was just too busy with everything else. I’ll do it tomorrow, though.”
Cole put his fork down carefully and squared his glass with his plate. “You do not need to do anything with my bedroom. There’s no reason for you to go in there. You don’t need to clean house, anyway. Set up a regular day with the service. They can change the sheets and towels when they’re here.”
What was wrong with her going into his room? Was there some secret she wasn't allowed to know? Sighing internally, she switched to a different topic, trying to diffuse the situation.
“All right. Thank you. I had a chance to really look at the house today. It’s beautiful. Your wife had excellent taste.” The moment the words were out, she could have bitten her tongue. Maggie was a closed subject—one of the rigid rules set down.
“My wife had nothing to do with it,” he said, the edge of bitterness back in his voice. “It was done before we were married.”
Things were getting more complicated by the minute. Tara wondered if she would ever know the whole story, or if she’d just keep falling into black holes. They finished dinner in silence then he headed for his den. Tara didn’t know if he expected her to stay downstairs and talk to him or just make herself scarce. She was still struggling to adjust to a Cole completely unfamiliar to her.
In twenty-four hours, she’d discovered she was living with a man who was uncomfortable in his own house, who couldn’t interact with his own daughter, and who hid painful secrets that laid traps she seemed to keep falling into.
But there was a need here so great there was no way she could turn away from it. She paused tentatively in the doorway to the den. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll go upstairs now.”
He looked up, forcing a smile, then leaned back in his chair. “I’m sorry, Tara. This is still very new for both of us. Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out as we go along.”
“All right.” What else could she say?
“I’ll be leaving early in the morning again,” he told her. If you need anything just call me at the office or on my cell.”
“Thank you.” She backed away headed upstairs.
* * * *
Cole stayed in the den long after Tara went to her room, disconnected thoughts bouncing around in his brain. In just two days, things here had improved beyond his wildest expectations. For the first time in months, he felt better about life, not so absorbed in his own misery.
When he finally felt tired enough to go upstairs, the nursery door stood open as well as the door to Tara’s room. Knowing he was making a big mistake, he walked silently down the hall to stand just beyond her door. She was just turning back the covers on her bed. Backlit by the bedside lamp, the curves of her body were visible through the sheer fabric of her gown. At once, his rebellious cock hardened to almost painful rigidity.
Why couldn’t he have married someone like her to begin with? But he knew the answer to that. He’d been down that road and had no one but himself to blame. The problem was what did he do with his body that refused to obey commands anymore?
She turned, startled at seeing him. “Oh!” She grabbed for the robe at the end of the bed. “I…didn’t expect to see you.”
Nor had he expected to be standing here. But he couldn’t stop staring at her, at the body the robe couldn’t hide very well or the cloud of dark sable hair floating to her shoulders. His hands itched to reach out and run his fingers through it, but thankfully, his feet were rooted to the floor.
“I’m sorry,” he finally managed. “I was just checking to make sure you were all right.”
“I’m fine. Thank you.” Hugging her robe around herself, she walked to the door and put her hand on it to close it.
For a moment, she stood there. Her eyes met his and the heat that flared between them was hotter than any fire he’d ever lit. Hell! This was a problem he didn’t need. He was no doubt the world’s biggest fool. One of them had to be sensible until the feeling went away. This whole situation was precarious enough without introducing sex into it.
“Goodnight,” he finally managed.
“Goodnight.” She closed the door firmly, clicking it shut with a definite finality.
Cole trudged back to his room, four walls that held some of the most unpleasant memories in the world. A prison of his own making. Would this torture never end?
At last, he got into bed, but he lay staring into the dark for a long time.
Chapter Six
“I’m in town, and I’m coming by for lunch, if that’s okay.”
Lindsey Varner’s voice was bubbling and just the tonic Tara needed as she fretted over the coming evening.
“Great.” Tara smiled. Lindsey was obviously making an effort to smooth over an awkward situation. “I’ll throw together a salad.”
“I’ll bring a fattening dessert.”
Even though it was Saturday, Cole had been up early, just leaving for the office when she came downstairs to heat Molly’s bottle. His way of avoiding things, Tara was certain, so she was glad to have some company.
Lindsey arrived at twelve-thirty sharp, carrying a small bakery box and grinning broadly. “I never can resist Charlotte’s goodies. They make the most wonderful French pastries.”
“I’ve set us up in the kitchen.”
Lindsey looked around as she walked down the hall to the big sunny room. “God, I can’t believe the difference in this house in just two days. It even smells fresh.”
“I raided a lilac bush I found in the back.” Tara pulled a big salad bowl from the fridge. “I haven’t even had time to see what all is planted. I want to look at everything before the yard service comes next week.”
“It’s a real transformation, but I guess you know that.”
Tara busied herself pouring their iced tea.
“I know we don’t know each other all that well,” Lindsey said, sipping the cold liquid, “so please tell me if I’m overstepping here. I just have to say, you have more guts than I think I would. This is quite an arrangement you’ve agreed to.”
Tara picked at her salad. “I figured Jake had told you all the details.”
“Please don’t be upset with him.” Lindsey reached over and put a hand on Tara’s arm. “We have no secrets from each other, and Cole is a very close friend.”
“I know, and it’s all right.” She sighed. “I guess I’m just glad he has someone to talk to.”
&nb
sp; “And you need someone, too.” Lindsey fixed her with her clear blue eyes. “We don’t know each other that well yet, but I’m hoping that will change. I want to be your friend, Tara. You’ve taken on an enormous job here.”
“Molly is well worth it,” Tara said, forking a piece of lettuce into her mouth.
“This past year almost completely destroyed Cole, or I might have killed him for putting you in this position. It’s just that, well, I know what he’s been through so I can excuse a lot of things.”
Tara wanted to ask Lindsey what she was referring to and why things were so weird in the house, but she wasn’t sure how to approach the subject. “Do you know the whole story of his marriage?” she asked finally.
Lindsey hesitated for just a fraction of a second. “I think that has to be Cole’s story to tell. And he will, when he’s ready. All I can tell you is he’s one of the finest men I’ve ever met. He was a rock for Jake and me when everything came down for us.”
Tara nodded. She knew that the Varners had run into some rocky times before they’d married, and Cole had been there for both of them. “I wouldn’t have accepted this if I didn’t admire and trust him a lot. Right now, everything is very fresh, though, and I think we’re still feeling our way.”
“‘Each day in its own way,’ my mother used to tell me, and I have to say I believe it. I just want you to know I’m here for you.”
Tara looked at the woman across from her, so calm and serene and warm. She was suddenly grateful to Cole for suggesting the phone call.
“Do you think Nicki could babysit for us next Friday? The wedding’s at five, and it’s a bad time to be juggling her schedule. Not to mention the fact that Cole will freak if he has to be anywhere near Molly.”
“I’m sure she’d love to. I’ll call her tonight and give her a heads up.”
The situation with the baby was another thing she wanted to ask about, but she was sure Lindsey would punt this back to Cole, also. Would he ever get around to telling her the whole story?
Cole still hadn’t returned by late afternoon, and Tara began to wonder if he as just going to hide out until dinner was over. Dinner was in the oven, the dining room table set and she was just getting ready to go upstairs to feed and bathe Molly when Lindsey called to tell her she’d spoken to Nicki.
“She’s happy to do it. And she only has a half day of school next Friday, so she’ll come early if you want. She can watch Molly while you and Cole dress for the wedding.”
“That would be perfect. Thank you again.” She hung up the phone.
“Who are you thanking for what?”
She’d been so engrossed in her conversation she hadn’t even heard the garage door go up or Cole come into the house.
“That was Lindsey. Nicki’s going to babysit Molly next Friday. She’s going to come here a little early so we have time to dress.”
“Good.” Relief flashed across his face for a brief moment. “And I’m glad you and Lindsey connected. I think the two of you could become good friends.”
“So do I.” And heaven knows I’ll need one.
Despite her misgivings, the evening went even better than she hoped. Of course, she shouldn’t have been surprised. She’d seen Cole at work, talking, smiling, using the famous Cassidy charm. She knew how well he could play a part. In the role of the perfect host, he was on solid footing.
Her father kept squeezing her arm and whispering, “Smart move, Tara. Very smart move.”
“Thank you for tonight,” she told Cole as they waved goodbye to her parents.
He frowned. “Tara, you must have a very low opinion of me to think I wouldn’t want your parents to feel comfortable with this situation.”
“I’m sorry.” She felt herself tense up. “I just didn’t want to put you in an awkward situation.”
He sighed. “I know, and I’m sorry you have to worry about it. I want to make things as easy for you as I can.”
“They think Molly is adorable.”
“Fine. That will make life a lot easier for you.” His face was lined with pain, his eyes filled with such anguish, Tara didn’t know what to make of it.
“Don’t you like children?” The words were out before she could stop herself and she wished she’d bitten her tongue.
A muscle jumped in his cheek.
“More than you know,” he said in a harsh whisper. There was no mistaking the heartbreak in his voice. He turned on his heel and headed toward his den.
Tara bit back her tears and slowly climbed the stairs to her room. Whatever was eating at his soul, she hoped they could fix it before it destroyed him. Or both of them.
* * * *
The next week was a blur for Tara. She moved her clothes and personal things from her house and shopped with her mother for a wedding outfit. She checked daily with Cole to make sure the temp was working out. And Friday moved closer and closer. She was glad for all the activity. It kept their problems at bay and her hormones from getting out of hand. Living in the same house with Cole was proving more of a challenge than she’d expected. If they accidentally touched, that same current sparked through them, like a miniature thunderbolt, startling them both. By unspoken agreement, they carefully avoided mentioning it, but it didn’t seem to be going away. At least, she hadn’t had any erotic dreams for a few nights.
Thursday night when Cole came home, he startled her with the news he’d made reservations for dinner after the ceremony.
“I thought we should do a little something to celebrate,” he said.
“That’s very nice of you.” She hadn’t expected a celebration of any kind.
“I want this to be a nice evening for you, Tara. It may not be the most standard marriage in the world, but we should treat it as something special, don’t you think?”
She was touched by his thoughtfulness and felt the tension begin to ease. She smiled her thanks at him.
Promptly at one-thirty on Friday, Nicki Varner rang the doorbell. Once Tara had given her instructions, she hurried upstairs to get ready. She expected Cole home in a little while. He’d said they needed to leave at four.
Upstairs, Tara organized everything she needed. Her treat for the day was going to be a long, relaxing soak before she dressed, something to soothe and relax her. She was determined to approach the ceremony and dinner with the right attitude, although she wasn’t exactly sure what that would be. She closed the door from that bathroom to the nursery and locked it, giving herself complete privacy. Submerged in the hot water and bubbles, she closed her eyes and just let her thoughts drift.
He stood at the door to the bathroom studying her in the tub, that same heat flaring in his eyes…
“That looks good. Is there room in there for me?”
Tara felt her body respond immediately. “It’s a big tub. Come on in.”
In seconds, his clothes were piled on the floor and he was lowering himself into the water behind Tara. His legs bracketed her on either side, and she felt the thick hardness of his cock pushing against her buttocks. His hands slid up the soapy slickness of her ribs and cupped her breasts, thumbs rasping against the already hardened nipples.
“I love to touch you everywhere.” Cole’s breath was warm against her skin as he pressed his lips to the sensitive spot beneath her ear. “Your body is so responsive.”
“Only with you,” she murmured.
He pressed his thighs against her, gripping her, pushing himself more tightly against her. “You have no idea how much I love to fuck you. Your cunt is so tight it’s all I can do not to come the minute I’m inside you.” He nipped at her earlobe. “Is it the same for you?”
“Yes. Nothing’s better than having you inside me.”
“Nothing?” he teased. “What about this?” One hand slipped down to cover her mound and press against her folds. “And this?” His finger dipped into her flesh and rubbed up and down. “Or this?” He slid the finger inside her, curling it to scrape the sensitive nerves.
“Yes,” she h
issed, shifting to impale herself on the finger. “Oh, yes.”
“And what about this?” The finger moved upward to touch her clit, lightly rubbing back and forth across the tip.
She felt the familiar flutters in her pussy, the clenching of the walls and wriggled against him.
“I’d fuck you now, but I don’t have a condom.”
For a heart-stopping moment, she thought he’d leave her in this state of suspended arousal. Then he moved his hand back down to her opening, and this time he thrust three fingers inside her. With the fingers of his other hand, he pinched her nipple, hard, then shifted it downward so his thumb and forefinger could grasp her clit. As his fingers moved in and out of her cunt, he stroked her clit with the same rhythm. His voice was almost harsh in her ear as he described to her over and over what he was doing to her and what he wanted to do.
Tara had to clutch the edges of the tub to hold herself steady, leaning back against the solid wall of Cole’s chest. The orgasm rose up and grabbed her so suddenly it took her breath away. She convulsed around his fingers over and over again, pushing down on them, needing to get them as deep into her as possible.
“That’s it.” His voice was heavy with lust. “Come like that for me, Tara. More. Yes. Like that.”
She was barely conscious of the water splashing over the side of the tub, rolling in little waves. For some strange reason, it was making a loud, banging sound. Like a knock…
“Tara?” Cole’s deep voice. “Are you okay? I heard some strange noises and got worried about you.”
Her eyes flew open.
Oh, shit.
That was a loud banging, Cole’s knuckles n the door. She sat up, sloshing more water over the side, trying desperately to compose herself. She certainly didn’t need him breaking in here because he thought she was in distress. Oh, it was distress, all right, but of a different kind.
