I had spent the whole weekend going over every word he’d said at the beach, every look he had given me. Was it because he was interested, or was I simply another friend, another hanger-on? Did he see me differently? God, I hoped so. I hadn’t been able to eat or sleep, and I hadn’t wanted to listen to anything my parents or brothers had to say. All their boring talk had dragged me away from my thoughts of Fin. Couldn’t they see I needed to be alone? To think. To dream.
I finally reached Mr William’s class with my pulse racing, smoothed my hair and walked in. A quick scan of the room showed only a handful of students had arrived before me – Fin not among them. I slouched over to my usual spot, about a third of the way from the front, and sat down before hauling my textbooks out of my bag, trying not to look up every time someone else walked in. Fin normally sat a couple of seats across from me, over near the window, so he’d probably pass right by me when he arrived. Sian was in a different academic set, so I didn’t share any lessons with her, apart from PE.
Mr Williams sat at his desk, engrossed in his marking. Few of the teachers at Shelborne looked like they enjoyed their jobs, and Mr Williams was no exception, his face set in a permanent scowl. When my parents moved here, they hadn’t realised there was such a huge difference between standards of schools in the area. Unfortunately, I’d ended up in the one with the worst reputation in the whole of the South of England. It was safe to say I had no love for the place, but at least I found the work easy. Plus, I had my best friend, and I was quite possibly on the verge of acquiring my very first boyfriend. Education was a frequent topic of conversation between my parents, though, and I lived in fear of them yanking me out of a school I knew, to enrol me somewhere else where I’d have to start all over again.
‘Hey.’ A soft voice to my right made me jump.
I glanced up and bit my lip as Fin gave me a lazy smile, his blonde waves obscuring one eye.
‘Oh. Hi.’ I tried to sound nonchalant.
‘Good weekend?’ he asked.
I shrugged. ‘It was okay. You?’
‘Same.’
‘Mr Chambers . . .’ Williams’ Welsh accent cut through our conversation.
We both looked up at the teacher.
‘Sorry to interrupt your social life,’ he continued, ‘but will you zip it and SIT down.’
‘Twat,’ Fin murmured under his breath. I’d become familiar with this well-used English term over the past year, as it had been applied to most of the teaching staff and more than half the kids at school. Sian had explained that it related to a part of the female anatomy.
I stifled a smile.
‘Did you say something?’ Williams was on his feet, now, eyes narrowed, glaring at Fin.
Fin shook his head.
‘Because if you did, then you should know that I am on detention duty this week and I’d be thrilled to have your company, Mr Chambers. Thrilled and delighted.’
‘I didn’t say anything, Sir,’ Fin snapped. Then, under his breath, I heard him utter the word “twat” once more.
I inhaled sharply. This wasn’t going to end well. The whole class was totally silent now, all eyes flitting from Fin to Williams, waiting to see how this was going to play out. I realised he was getting into trouble for talking to me, but I didn’t know what I could do to help.
‘You know,’ Williams continued. ‘You, Mr Chambers, you think you’re a big shot in this school. You think you’re “cool”.’ He raised his fingers in air quotes. ‘But, let me tell you, Boyo, I’ve seen it all before. I may be a History teacher, but I can also predict the future. And I can tell you exactly how your life will play out. Do you want me to be your fortune teller? Because I have a ninety-nine percent accuracy rate.’
Fin stayed silent by my side, the anger radiating off him in waves. I willed him not to say or do anything else stupid.
‘Here’s how it goes.’ Williams smiled and cast his eyes around the room, his gaze finally coming back to rest on Fin. ‘You, Boy, are a waster, a loser, and you’ll never amount to anything. Do you hear me? Everyone, pay attention. If you want your life to end up down the toilet, this, right here’ – he pointed to Fin – ‘is how you behave. Now sit down in your seat and I don’t want to hear another word come out of your pathetic mouth.’
Silence hung in the air for the briefest of moments before Fin kicked over a chair and stormed out of the classroom, slamming the door behind him and raising his middle finger at Williams through the glass door panel.
‘Right! Everybody, open your Tudor textbooks to page 57,’ Williams boomed, his face red, his jaw now tightly clamped. We all did as he asked, heads down, mouths closed. I was surprised Williams hadn’t gone after Fin, but I guessed he couldn’t leave his class unattended.
The whole lesson passed by in a sickening blur. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Thankfully, Williams didn’t single me out to answer any questions. What was going to happen to Fin, now? Would he get detention? Suspension? Expulsion? I hoped not. Had he left school for the day? Would Fin blame me for getting him into trouble? No, surely not. He’d been the one to come over and start talking.
I’d never felt so relieved to hear the bell go for break. I needed to tell Sian what had just happened.
~
‘God, that must’ve been horrible.’ Sian linked her arm through mine as we walked around the English block – a familiar loop we always did at break time. We weren’t cool enough to hang out by the music block, and all the juniors played their childish games on the playground so we wouldn’t be caught dead there. Walking around the English block was the only place we didn’t get hassled.
‘It was awful,’ I said. ‘But at the same time, I was sort-of happy because he’d come over to talk to me. Do you know what I mean? Only now I don’t know where he’s gone. Do you think he’ll be expelled?’
‘No. Don’t worry.’ Sian squeezed my arm. ‘He’ll definitely get detention though. Maybe a week’s suspension if he’s bunked off.’
As we passed by the school fence at the back of the building, a long whistle made us look up. Sian nudged me in the ribs and pointed. Fin stood on the opposite side of the road, partially obscured by a red van.
‘Hey, Anna,’ he called.
Sian and I came to a stop and my heart began to race.
‘Come over here.’ He was asking me to leave the school premises. To skive – something I’d never done before.
‘Don’t go, Anna,’ Sian hissed. ‘You’ll get in trouble.’
Fin smiled a lazy smile that made me catch my breath. He jerked his head, indicating that I should join him.
‘Come with me, Sian,’ I begged, scared of doing this alone.
‘Joking, aren’t you.’ Sian’s eyes widened. ‘I’m not getting in trouble just so I can be a gooseberry. Three’s a crowd.’
‘Okay. Well, I’m going to go.’ I glanced left and right, my pulse racing.
‘But―’
‘I’ll be fine. Tell the office I’m not well. That I had to go home.’
‘You’re mad,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘Okay. Well. I suppose you need a bunk up over the fence?’
I nodded so she looped her fingers together. ‘Will you be okay on your own?’ I asked.
‘I’ll go and find the film nerds,’ she replied. ‘They won’t mind me tagging along.’
I tossed my schoolbag over the fence, stepped into her hands and pulled myself up and over the warm metal fence, my face hot as I landed on the dusty pavement.
‘Have fun, you rebel,’ Sian teased.
‘I’ll call you later. Don’t forget to tell the office for me.’
She nodded and then disappeared around the side of the building, leaving me feeling suddenly quite alone and wondering what on earth I was getting myself into. But then I turned to see Fin give me a wink and my stomach flipped. For months I’d wanted him to notice me. Well, it looked like now he had. Only this wasn’t quite the scenario I’d been imagining.
I snatched up my bag fro
m the ground and ran across the empty road to where Fin stood waiting on the pavement.
What now?
He took my hand in his and led me around the back of the van where we were hidden from view of the school. I chewed the inside of my cheek, hyper-aware of our hands locked together, his other hand sliding around my waist, his face coming level with mine. The minty smell of his breath. Before I could say anything, he kissed me.
It happened so quickly.
I’d never kissed a boy this way before. Not this hungry type of kiss with tongues. A kiss which connected with every part of my body, a deep pull inside. There was no question in my mind about what it would lead to. When you kissed Fin Chambers you were his. Special. Our kiss was a pact. Sealed with the thrust of his tongue and the press of his fingers. He was in control and I had no say in the matter. He was Fin, and I was lucky to have been chosen. I truly believed that. The luckiest girl in the world. Finally visible.
He broke away first, leaving me breathless, my lips raw, my brain spinning. ‘I like you, Anna,’ he said. ‘Let’s get out of here.’
I nodded, swept away by the force of him. At that moment, I would have followed him to the ends of the earth.
We walked a few blocks in silence, my hand in his. I couldn’t think of anything to say. Nothing witty or smart came to mind. Cars passed by, and the occasional pedestrian. My eyes darted around, thinking any moment we could run into someone we knew – a parent or teacher. But I kept my fears to myself. Eventually, I couldn’t bear the silence between us any longer.
‘I hope it wasn’t my fault you got into trouble today,’ I said.
‘What? No. Course not.’
‘It’s just that you were talking to me when Mr Williams―’
‘He’s such a knob.’ Fin stopped walking. He let go of my hand and turned, levering himself up to sit on someone’s brick wall. ‘I mean, who the fuck does he think he is, anyway? Does he think he’s something special? He teaches at Shelborne for fuck’s sake – probably the worst school in England. Telling me I won’t amount to anything. Yeah, well watch this space, Mr mortgage, two kids and a boring hatchback.’
‘He’s an idiot,’ I said. ‘I can’t believe he spoke that way to you. They’d never be allowed to talk to students that way in Sweden.’
‘They’re not supposed to talk like that here, either. I should report him.’
‘You should.’
‘Thanks.’ He dropped his scowl and drew me closer, dipping his head to kiss me again. ‘Want to come back to mine?’
I wondered if he expected me to sleep with him. Either way, I knew I wouldn’t say no. I wanted to be as close to him as I could get.
‘Where do you live?’ I asked.
‘Not far. Just to warn you, our house is a dump, and my dad is worse than Williams.’
He must have noted the look of worry spreading across my face.
‘Don’t worry,’ he continued. ‘We’ll hang out in the shed so we don’t have to talk to him. He’ll be getting stoned with his mates, anyway. He won’t notice us.’
At this, I bit my lip, determined not to wimp out and ruin my chances with him. ‘Hang on,’ I said, fishing my phone out of my bag. I called my mum’s number. She’d be at work now. It rang three times before she picked up. ‘Mamma?’
‘Anna. Are you okay?’
‘Yeah. I mean, no, not really. I’ve got a stomach ache. Can you call the school and tell them I’ve gone home?’
‘Oh no. Do you want me to come home, too?’
‘No. It’s okay. I’m going to try and get some sleep.’
‘Have you vomited?’
‘No, Mamma. Don’t worry. I’m just going to get some sleep. Can you call school?’
‘Okay. But call if you need me. I’ll try and be home by five thirty.’
I could hear the stress in her voice, but I shrugged off my guilt. I was always well behaved, always doing the right thing. This was a one-off, to be with the boy I’d wanted since forever.
‘Thanks, Mamma. See you later.’
‘Bye, darling.’
I ended the call and slipped my phone back into my bag.
‘You were speaking English,’ Fin said. ‘I thought you’d speak Swedish with your family.’
‘No. When we got to England, my parents said we had to speak English all the time – even at home.’
‘So that’s why your English is so perfect.’
‘Thanks.’ I dipped my head and smiled.
An angry banging made me look up to see a woman thumping on her bay window, pointing to Fin sitting on her wall and making a shooing motion with her hand.
He turned to look, blew the woman a kiss, then hopped back down onto the pavement. ‘Come on,’ he said, taking my hand once more. ‘Let’s go to mine.’
My throat was dry, my head whirling with everything that was happening between us. I had wished so long for this moment, and now, at last, it seemed my wishes were coming true.
Chapter Six
2017
No matter how late I go to bed, I always wake early. It’s annoying. I wish I could lie in, but once I’m awake, I’m awake, and that’s that. Will’s still in bed, out for the count. The house is silent as I pad down the stairs, my dressing gown loosely tied, my feet bare – the wonders of underfloor heating. I rub at my face; my skin papery, eyes raw. I forgot to take off my makeup last night, only managing to give my teeth a quick brush before sliding under the covers. I don’t know why I bothered even trying to sleep. My brain was so wired, I barely snatched twenty minutes. It’s a miracle I slept at all.
Everything that was only recently so comforting and familiar about our house seems different this morning. Even the air smells tainted. I have to keep my panic at bay. Have to think of a way out of this. I can’t let that text message change my life. I can’t. This is all too precious to lose.
In the kitchen, I head straight for the Nespresso machine. I don’t trust my stomach with proper food. Not yet. I run the tap and fill the jug with water, slotting it back into its holder and pressing the start button. Normally, we get great sea views from up here in our clifftop arts-and-crafts house, but this morning a sea mist has rolled in, pressing itself up against the bay windows, blanking everything out. The huge room seems somehow smaller, like the walls are closing in.
Will grew up here, and when we married, his dad gave us the house as a wedding present. He said the place never felt the same after Will’s mum died. That it needed a family, kids, dogs and all of that. So, he moved out and now the place is ours. We love it, despite the fact that half the garden has crumbled away down the cliff. Will’s dad now lives in a brand new mews house - a bachelor pad, easy walking distance to the bistro. He says he feels much happier there.
The aroma of coffee soothes me for a second or two and I lose myself in the ritual of pouring milk into a tall glass, warming it, frothing it, then pouring the coffee over the top. But my hands are shaking and I’m trying desperately not to cry. I must pull myself together before Will comes down. This was the day I was going to tell him everything. But how can I tell him now, after getting that text? I had thought the danger had long-since passed. But I was wrong. It’s all got worse. Much worse.
Part of me wants to check my phone again to see if the message is really there. That it wasn’t a figment of my drunken imagination. But the thought of seeing that girl’s body again . . . I shut off that train of thought. Push it out of my head. I’m not looking at my phone this morning.
We’re supposed to be meeting Sian and Remy later for brunch followed by a walk on the beach. So that’s what we’ll do. I’m not going to let a text message ruin everything. You can’t just ignore it, the voice in my head says.
I take a sip of coffee, pick up the TV remote and press the power button. The mundanity of breakfast television should take my mind off things. I let the local-news presenter’s voice wash over me as I make Will a cup of tea. I’ll take it up to him in bed. Probably need to grab some paracetamol for
him, too. I bet his head’s in a delicate state after last night. Beer and champagne don’t mix too well.
‘Morning,’ a voice says behind me.
I give a small scream before spinning around. ‘God, Will, you scared me. I didn’t hear you come down. I thought you were still asleep.’
He stands in the doorway dressed in grey jogging bottoms and a red hoody, and gives a small smile. ‘Sorry. I know it’s early for me, but I needed tea.’
‘I was just about to bring you some up to bed.’
‘You do know, you’re quite possibly the best wife in the world.’ He comes over and kisses the side of my head, takes a sip from the mug I hand him, and points at the window. ‘Foggy.’
‘Yeah, I know.’ I give a small shiver. ‘It’s creepy out there. How’re you feeling this morning? Not too hungover?’
‘Not bad. Hangover’ll probably kick in later. Such a great night. Thank you, Anna.’
‘Glad you had a good time.’ I reach out, attempting to tease down a stray lock of his hair sticking up at a funny angle.
‘And, oh my God, that car.’ He brings his hand up to try to help me smooth his hair down before giving up. ‘Leave it. I’ll take a shower in a minute. I can’t believe I own a Mustang. Shall we take it out today?’
‘Yeah, why not. Better be careful in the fog, though.’ I take another sip of my coffee and lean back against the counter top.
‘Didn’t think of that.’ He frowns. ‘We’ll have to wait until it clears.’
‘Probably a good idea,’ I say. ‘You don’t want to end up crashing it into a lamppost.’
‘I was worried about you last night,’ Will says, his brow creasing. ‘Do you feel any better this morning?’
‘So much better. It must have been a weird bug or something.’
‘Or maybe a touch of champagne-itis.’ He wraps his arms around me and gives me a gentle hug. ‘We can take it easy today, if you like. Shall I cancel Sian and Remy?’
Will is still speaking, but suddenly I don’t hear him anymore. Instead, I turn to the TV where the news presenter is talking about a boat company based in Poole. My blood freezes when I hear the company name, all thoughts dragged from my husband’s gentle concern to the fresh horror that’s encroaching on my life.
The Millionaire's Wife Page 3
