‘Nope, not ethical. Not religious. Just life.’ How to explain it? ‘There wasn’t much time for dating when I was living with Gran, and afterwards I just kept waiting for a man to come along. One I knew I wanted to do it with. But he never did. They always seemed nice, but nothing more.’ She shrugged. ‘I’m too choosy, I guess.’
‘No, just discerning,’ said Ellis quietly. He looked away, almost as if he were embarrassed. ‘But how about now? Are you prepared to give me a chance?’ The grin came back. His thumb moved slowly against her palm. ‘I’m not particularly nice, but I do have other qualities to recommend me.’
‘Oh, really?’ It was all she could manage, thinking about those qualities. He was, to put not too fine a point on it, drop dead gorgeous. There was no better candidate for making Dream Lover real, because he was handsome in a characterful way, not a pretty boy. And the more she saw of him, the more she was certain that he had a lean fit body beneath his clothes, one that moved well, with effortless grace and power. He was elegant, refined and, despite his somewhat eccentric choice of daywear, and his fondness for facial stubble, obviously deeply fastidious.
That was the problem. Ellis McKenna was probably too perfect. She might actually have been better off with a man with one or two faults, because even though she could readily admit she wasn’t bad looking, she didn’t class herself as fantasy woman material.
‘I’d say I’m a good choice as your first man,’ said Ellis breezily. Maybe that was the fault? He had no shortage of self-confidence … of arrogance. ‘I like to think I’m considerate. I want a woman to enjoy the experience at least as much as I do. And I do know quite a few tricks.’
I bet you do, you devil.
‘I’ll take that under advisement. Although I’m probably better off starting with the basics, rather than tricks.’ He was stroking her hand now, soft and slight, driving her crazy. ‘And I can’t see why you’d want me. Don’t you prefer a woman who knows her way around a mattress?’
‘I do as a rule, but who’s to say you’re not a natural? I sense an ocean of erotic potential, just waiting to be awakened. Someone waiting for all that as yet untapped carnal enthusiasm to be … well … tapped?’ He raised her hand, dusted a kiss on her knuckles, and then freed her. Before she could react, he reached for her glass of brandy and put it into her hand. For shock? What on earth was he going to say next? She took a brief swig, welcoming the fuzz of heat.
His eyes narrowed. He looked calculating. ‘You have touched yourself, surely? You know what pleasure feels like?’
Jess hit the brandy again, too much, and started coughing. Ellis tapped her on the back with a firm thump, then rubbed the spot he’d slapped, gently massaging.
Summoned by a gesture Jess had been spluttering too hard to see, a waiter arrived, and Ellis requested water. The man was back in a flash, with a crystal glass filled with iced mineral water, and Jess sipped from it gratefully.
‘Better now?’ Ellis said after a few moments.
‘A bit … yes …’ She glanced around. Surely they were being watched now, but it seemed not. Maybe people were all too wrapped up in each other to notice. It was all couples again. Probably couples who’d soon be going to bed together, with no hang-ups and no stupid virginity to contend with.
‘Was I too personal?’ Had he moved away from her on the banquette? Pulling back because she was acting like a nervous nelly? It was hard not to sigh and want to kick herself. Why couldn’t she just be a bit more sophisticated about this? Surely it was possible to be sophisticated and a virgin … although in her case, it seemed not.
‘No … well … yes … I’m a grown up. I should be able to answer these questions without having some kind of choking fit. Like I said, I’m nearly thirty, not a silly teenager.’ She sipped some more water, just for something to do.
This was all crazy and stupid. She wanted Ellis McKenna. He was the first man she’d ever really wanted. But she was screwing everything up. Big time self-sabotage.
‘You’re not silly. It’s a big thing, talking to a man about intimate issues when you’re not used to it.’ He paused, and gave her a quirky little smile. ‘And I should have more sensitivity … more savoir faire. But … well … I want you, Jess. And I think you want me. But maybe you’re not ready?’
I am! I am! I am!
But maybe she wasn’t. She’d lay good odds that he had a room reserved, somewhere in the hotel below them. A room that any woman in her right mind would be rushing to with him, right about now.
‘I don’t think I am,’ she admitted glumly. ‘Sorry.’
‘No need to be. We don’t have to rush.’ He lounged back against the banquette. ‘Let’s just enjoy ourselves here for now. Get to know each other first, eh?’
‘Okay.’
Sod it! Sod it! Sod it! she screamed inside, livid with herself. Then, she was even crosser when a couple at a nearby table rose as one, their faces wreathed in mysterious smiles. The woman turned and headed for the door, her walk elegant, sensual, confident. The man followed close, his hand brushing the small of her back in an intimate gesture, and his companion reached behind, to confirm his touch.
They’re going to bed. I wish it could be that easy.
8
Too fast, you fucking idiot. Too fast.
Ellis cursed himself inside, even as he made small talk. Why had he pushed? Jess wasn’t like his normal dates, so why had he tried to treat her like one?
He felt like a fool. Where was his sophistication? His experience? Instead he’d lumbered like a bull at a gate because he wanted this unusual woman so very badly. It was important to be circumspect, and take his time with her, but inside, the spoilt greedy boy in him was furious. Furious with himself for cocking it all up. Metaphorically grabbing for the goodies far too soon.
And yet, it was a good thing just to talk. In fact it was a very good thing, and often missing from his brief liaisons. There was a sweet relief in conversation, without pressure. At least now he didn’t have to worry about failing her in bed, and not being the perfect lover she deserved for her first time. Oh, he had the technique and all … but his raw hunger for her might make him rush too fast there too.
But she was so haunting, so different … so goddamn beautiful. That pink outfit, it made her look like an elegant angel. The skirt was just the right length to show off her astonishing, shapely legs. And her hair was like silk. Her lips, blush rose, almost made him insane.
Damn, he was hard. Hadn’t she noticed? Maybe it was her innocence. She didn’t look blatantly like an experienced woman. He suddenly wished he could pose for her … then she’d have to check out his body!
A germ of an idea formed. A tactic. Not so much for him, as for her. Maybe another night though. He’d messed things up enough already with his crass question, fucking idiot that he was. He needed to dial things back a notch. She’d be worth the wait, he’d stake his fortune on it … and he was a billionaire, last time he’d seen the figures.
‘Maybe we should check out some galleries? Is there anything notable in the area?’ he asked on the spur. ‘I must admit that when I come up here at weekends, I mainly doss around the house, watching the telly in between dips in the pool. Maybe we could go for a drive or something? Lunch somewhere first, if you’d like that?’
She gave him an odd look, a little crooked smile as if she’d seen right through him. Please believe in me, he wanted to say. I might be making small talk, but I mean it. I can’t bear not to see you again.
‘Sounds good. I’d love to. Thank you, lunch would be great … if you’re sure?’ She toyed with her coffee cup. ‘I thought you’d have moved on by then. I mean, don’t you have business interests all over the world?’
‘I do, but I like to come up here when I can. Windermere Hall is a family place. I’ve been spending quite a bit of time here, in between London business and fly-aways.’ That impulsive urge swept through him again. ‘In fact, I’ve decided that I’d like to spend even more time here. I like
the countryside and I like the vibe, and virtual offices make it possible to work anywhere nowadays.’
‘Oh … right … That’s great.’ She sounded so unsure. Not quite trusting. Oh why wouldn’t she trust him? How could he get her to let her guard down?
For God’s sake, you stupid bastard, I wouldn’t trust you if the positions were reversed!
He had to slow it down, way down. But maybe not too far. After all, this thing would only be lasting a few weeks at most.
‘I’ll take you home now.’
Wait? What? Oh no … She’d been right. It wasn’t easy.
If only I’d loosened up. Acted less uptight.
‘But … I thought …’
‘Let’s take it slowly, Jess. It’ll be better that way. We only met today, and you are … what you are.’ He rose to his feet, and reached out for her hand, drawing her up too. ‘We need to get to know each other. Be friends first, then lovers, eh?’
It made such sense. What was it, barely more than twelve hours, thirteen, fourteen, since that old blue car had pulled up beside her? And now here she was, disappointed because he’d not rushed her headlong into bed, and ushered her skilfully into the world of not being a virgin.
But I want him! I barely know anything about wanting, not really … but I want him!
Smiling and chatting as normally as she could with Ellis, Jess allowed him to escort her down to the lobby and out of the hotel. Was he aware of how glum she was inside? How angry with herself? He probably was, but was too much of a gentleman to act in any other way than as if the evening, and she, were both perfect. The Citroën was waiting for them when they stepped outside, driven round for him from the parking area by a porter. Did everybody get that service at Green’s, or was it just billionaires?
The powder blue car glided through the town like an air-sprung ghost. With every yard it covered, Jess cursed herself more and more.
Blithering idiot, you should have gone for it! Just look at him … he is Dream Lover. He’s glorious. And no matter what he says, you might never see him again.
She’d kick herself, she knew, if that happened. This might be it. All there ever was of her ‘relationship’ with the mysterious, glamorous, handsome man beside her.
He was quiet, almost as if his thoughts were as troubled as hers. Watching the road and the traffic, he turned and stole a quick glance at her occasionally and smiled, but said nothing.
In what seemed like no time, they were drawing up outside her house.
This is stupid. You’re a coward.
‘Ellis?’
He turned to her, and it was the unmistakable rush of hope in his eyes that did for her.
‘Will you take me back to the hotel? Now?’ Aiming for his forearm, at the last minute, she swerved and laid her hand on his thigh. So muscular. So hard. Solid against her fingers beneath the fine cloth of his suit trousers.
The rush of hope flared to something else. In the darkness, he focused on her. His beautiful oceanic eyes widened. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, I am. I’ll probably be rubbish in bed and a complete nervous nelly, but I’ll try and do my best.’
Ellis’s bark of laughter made her flinch, but before she could even start feeling terrible, he swept his arms around her, and pulled her against him. It wasn’t a voracious kiss, raunchy passion and all that, just a hug. A happy, enveloping hug, his face pressed against the side of hers, lips in her hair.
‘You won’t be rubbish, you crazy woman! You’ll be wonderful!’ He nuzzled his face against her, rubbing like a cat somehow, affectionate yet primal. ‘It’s me who should be worried about being rubbish … not being able to contain myself enough to make your first time great.’
‘I’ll take my chances.’ She reached up and cupped his jaw. Oh, how silky his demi-beard felt. Not scratchy or stubbly at all. It was soft against the skin of her palm as she angled his face to hers. Now, fool, go for it!
She compelled him to kiss her.
His lips were soft too, pliant yet with strength beneath. They lay against hers, latent and promising, then began to move a little, but subtly. As he buried his fingers in her hair, steadying her, she wound her arms around him, sliding them beneath his jacket.
He was so warm. Warm lips. Warm body. Heat flowed into her, bringing confidence, reassurance, and simple pleasure at the contact. A wave of his deliciously spiced cologne billowed up where she’d pushed aside his jacket. It hit her senses with all the power of the luscious champagne she’d drunk earlier.
Kissing him was easy, and lovely. His tongue didn’t push, but she felt it, brushing like a feather against the seam of her lips, speaking to her silently and promising. Everything.
He kisses like Dream Lover only a hundred times better!
Drawing away from her, he looked into her eyes, his own as brilliant as aquamarine suns. He didn’t say anything, but she was glad of that. It was as if he knew precisely how delicate the moment was. She saw him swallow, his strong throat undulating, then he pressed forward again, bestowing another measured kiss.
When they broke apart again, he said, ‘Good God, woman, we’re making out in a parked car! I haven’t done that in ages.’ He grinned. ‘I’m so excited I nearly forgot where we are.’
You are! You are excited! Jess glanced downwards. In every way …
There it was, the tell-tale bump in his perfectly tailored trousers. Had it been there before? Probably not. It hadn’t taken but a few seconds for him to get rampant.
With a struggle, she tore her attention away from Ellis’s crotch, and looked again to find him watching her, mischief dancing on his face because he’d caught her checking out his equipment. As if of its own accord, her hand snaked out, and cupped him.
‘Oh! Oh, yes!’ he gasped. The words were barely audible, little more than an exhalation, yet they echoed in Jess’s brain, a clarion of triumph, his, not hers. His hips bumped, pushing his body against the contact. His long lashes fluttered and he looked angelic, divinely suffering.
Was she hurting him? No, not that. But how could such a simple touch pleasure him so, a man as experienced as he was? Tentatively, she moved her palm against the hard knot, and he jerked again, rocking in synchrony. The beast itself twitched. It was so hot through his clothing, and seemed to have a life of its own, distinct from its owner.
‘Mm … that’s lovely, Jess. Lovely. You have a wonderful touch.’
Still she erred on the side of caution. She knew anatomy. She’d read erotic books. If she went in too heavily, she could hurt him. But still, she pressed lightly with her thumb, exploring the shape.
‘If we weren’t parked on a public thoroughfare, I’d ask you to unzip me, love.’ Ellis’s voice was husky, sultry. ‘But I think I’ll have to wait for that pleasure. I know it’ll be worth it.’
‘I hope so,’ Jess said, laughing nervously. This was crazy; any passing neighbour might look in, attention caught by the beautiful vintage car, and see what its occupants were doing. But she couldn’t take her hand away. It was as if the living bulge in Ellis’s trousers was magnetic and her fingers were metal.
‘I know so!’
When she withdrew her hand – reluctantly – Ellis drew it to his lips and kissed her palm, slowly and with intent.
‘Do we really have to drive all the way back to the hotel? What about your place?’ He nodded to the house, currently in darkness, save for one small lamp lit in the sitting room. They always left that one on when they were out. Cathy was clearly not yet home.
‘I suppose so.’ She hesitated. It seemed weird. She’d always imagined some hotel or other as the location where she’d eventually lose her virginity. Somewhere a bit nice, but unspecific. Just the act itself was the important thing. Her body, and the man’s.
‘Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself again,’ said Ellis, kissing her hand again. ‘Forget it. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. You’ve got me so crazy that I want you anywhere, but if you prefer neutral ground, I think I can keep my
self in check long enough to drive to the hotel, or even to my place. It’s your choice, Jess. I just want you to feel at ease.’
It could all go pear shaped now. Hesitation could lead to postponement. Postponement could lead to, well, him changing his mind in the cooler light of day, and thinking, What the hell was I doing? A nearly thirty year old virgin? Not really …
‘No, it’s okay. Cathy’s not home. My room might be a little bit untidy if you don’t mind slumming it … and I think I might actually feel more relaxed, in my own space. Do you know what I mean?’
‘Oh, you angel!’ Grabbing her by the shoulders, he kissed her hard and quickly. Then in a flash – perhaps before she could change her mind – he was out of the car, round to the passenger side, and handing her out into the night air. Within moments they were on the pavement, and hurrying inside.
Jess was self-conscious, aware that her cheeks were pink and blushing, and that any passer-by could read from that exactly what she’d been doing with Ellis and to Ellis in the car. He, on the other hand, appeared sublimely unconcerned, as cool and suave as ever. Jess daren’t look at his groin to see if he was still sporting his erection, but she didn’t doubt that he wouldn’t be embarrassed if he was.
But there was only one other person in the street. A middle-aged woman in a fleece and jeans, with her dog on a leash. The bumptious canine was bounding around, and his owner’s full attention was on him, rather than a pair of potential lovers thirty yards away on the other pavement.
Never before had her own front door seemed so daunting. She could still change her mind once she was inside, but somehow, it didn’t seem that way. The threshold to the house was like jumping off a cliff, like skydiving. Once she was in there was no return. Her fingers fumbled with the key, clattering against the lock. Ellis took it from her and manipulated it easily.
Key into lock. A simple act. But suddenly a metaphor.
Hearing her gasp, Ellis glanced at Jess, and saw that she was on the same page. Good grief, she was blushing like a schoolgirl. Exactly like the virgin she was.
How to Seduce a Billionaire Page 8
