“Never?” It came out as a croak.
His smile was bitter. “It’s not much of a time to tell you, but I’ve learned my lesson. Our little lives are dice in the hands of the gods. I need to say this now, before some other bloody thing happens.” His face softened and tears sparkled on his lashes. “I love you, Anje. I just didn’t know how much until I saw that Hssrdan come up behind you.”
“But you’re in love with Brin,” she said dully.
Pain contorted his features. “Yes,” he said steadily. “I am. Was.” He shook his head as if to clear it. “Am. And with you.”
“Oh, Trey.” Anje pressed her face into his shirt and willed the tears to come, but it was as if some well within her had dried up. She clutched his biceps and shuddered, breathing hard. He rubbed her back in soothing circles, as though she was a child.
Finally, she pulled back. “We’re not safe yet. We need more distance.”
Twink’s wound was deep in the haunch muscle, but he limped on gamely enough, followed by a weary Brownie. Anje and Trey walked.
No word was spoken for hours, wrestling with misery so total required concentration. As dusk drew down, Anje glanced around. “This looks all right. Get me some branches and I’ll make a scout’s shelter.”
By nightfall, they had a low, rough bower and Trey had lit a small, smokeless fire. The fine tent, the camp furniture and the bedding had been on the dead packvran, but Brownie still carried the cooking equipment and food, Twink the saddlebags. Anje dug out Brin’s medical pouch, gritting her teeth against the memory of his hands on her skin. She bathed the shallow slice on Trey’s thigh and dosed it liberally with the stinging cleansing potion.
Over his whistling protests, she did the same for Twink, hoping the medicine intended for humans wouldn’t do him harm.
Trey found some dried meat strips, so salty and spicy she gagged. But there was a water gourd, and roberry, so she swallowed grimly. She was going to need her strength until she knew Trey was safe. After that… Well, she still had her scout’s duty. But that was all there was, all there’d ever be. She cradled her forehead in her hands, trying to dull the throbbing ache.
The night was cool, but not unpleasantly so. Anje stretched out, her head pillowed on Trey’s rigid shoulder. He’d found Brin’s blanket rolled up behind Twink’s saddle, but with a restless movement, she shoved it away. It was more than she could bear. Like everything that had touched the shaman’s skin, it carried his dark, spicy scent.
Trey’s tears dampened her hair, though he made no sound, but Anje lay dry-eyed. As she stared at the stars twinkling through the crevices of their leafy canopy, a tiny spark flickered and died in that horrible, aching void inside her.
She shot bolt upright with a gasp.
“What is it?” Trey sat up beside her.
“Nothing.” She rubbed her eyes and lay back slowly, her stomach knotted with tension.
A few minutes later, it came again and this time it steadied to a feeble glow, faint and faraway.
Anje put a hand to her head. “Trey.” Her voice was a thread. “I can feel… Sweet Mother, he’s alive!”
“What?” Trey’s fingers dug into her arm. “Are you sure?”
“I think so. The torque…” Her throat closed up.
“Lufra!” Trey flung his arms around her and hugged her so hard she couldn’t breathe. He began to babble, a mix of prayers and curses, tears and laughter.
A bubble of joy expanded inside her, laced with trepidation. She wasn’t used to this Bond stuff. What if her mind was playing tricks on her? She wanted so much for it to be true. She pinched Trey’s arm. “Shush. Let me concentrate. It’s very faint.”
Curling her fingers around the smooth braid of the torque, she tried to calm her racing thoughts, open her mind. Slowly, she developed a vague impression, though it was like locating one particular cloud hidden in a vast mist. “He’s hurt,” she murmured, “and angry. Very angry.”
Whatever had been frozen inside her cracked. Relief exploded through her in a torrent of hot tears. Trey held her through the hard, wrenching sobs, patting her back. Within her, the piercing agony of loss muted to the dull ache of separation. Bearable.
As the storm eased, he wiped her face with the tail of his shirt and kissed her softly. “He was right, love. You are perfect.”
Anje pulled him close and kissed him back with enthusiasm. She felt exuberant, dizzy. Running a hand down to his groin, she found him stiff and throbbing. When she squeezed hard, he gasped, “Gods, yes!” and dug his fingers into the waistband of her trews.
He peeled them off, unlaced himself and plunged into her without preliminaries. By the third stroke, lightning sizzled at the base of her spine. By the sixth, she’d climaxed so hard, the stars blurred above her. At the seventh, Trey froze, shuddering in release.
The entire act had taken no more than a few minutes.
Trey clasped her ass to keep them joined and pulled Brin’s blanket over them both. Hugely comforted, Anje relaxed into a boneless stretch. Then she chuckled.
“What?” asked Trey sleepily.
“You forgot Lufra’s Law.”
“Shit!” Withdrawing from her body, he sat up with a jerk. “So I did.” Cupping a protective hand around his privates, he closed his eyes and began mumbling under his breath. It sounded like a prayer.
Anje yawned, rubbing a hand over the back of her skull. “Doesn’t matter. I absolve you.” The link itched, urging her to leap to her feet and go now. Now! But it wasn’t practical. They had to rest.
“It matters to Lufra! Shit, shit!” Trey’s face was a pale smear in the darkness. She could feel a faint tremor run through the firm thigh pressed against her.
“It won’t drop off, you know,” she said, caught between concern and amusement.
“It might,” he said darkly.
“Don’t tell me people never forget, Trey. What about the heat of the moment? What about life partners?”
“Maybe,” he admitted. “Lufra allows true love a lot of leeway.”
“Then…” She spread her hands and shrugged. “Under the circumstances, I’m sure She’ll forgive you.” She leaned up to drop a kiss on his shoulder.” I have.”
“Yes, but—”
“If you’re still worried about it, you can owe me. Two tomorrow.”
Tomorrow.
“We’ll find him, Trey. And get him back.”
“Ay, that we will.” His voice was no less determined than hers.
Chapter Seventeen
Fellwolves:
Predators of the plains and forests, fellwolves hunt in packs. The beasts are hunted for their magnificent pelts, particularly the so-called “twilight” furs, a dark gray with blue undertones, shading to silver on the belly. A common motif in folk tales is the character who is cursed to live as a fellwolf until released by the power of true love. (See Ballads—Traditional). Fellwolves mate for life.
Excerpt from the Great Encyclopedia, compiled by Miriliel the Burnished.
They made love again at dawn. Trey used his mouth on her, at first gently, then with ruthless efficiency, until she peaked. Twice.
Then he pulled her limp body over his and they flowed together like music. Afterward, he stacked his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. Anje hung over him, running her fingertips over every inch of creamy, hair-dusted skin, the planes and hollows limned with golden light.
Trey purred with pleasure. Without opening his eyes, he said, “Is Brin all right?”
Anje hesitated, cupping the curve of his hipbone in her hand, while she reached tentatively for the link. “He’s asleep, I think.”
Trey exhaled softly, but he didn’t speak.
His nipples were pink, not brown like Brin’s. She swooped to brush one with her lips and asked, “When did you know you loved him?”
He levered one eye open, the hazel gleaming green in the light washing through the leaves of their bower. “Remember I told you how he saved my life?”
&nb
sp; She nodded.
“His vran was screaming with pain. Gods, it was a horrible noise. I remember he stroked its head, whispered to it, before he cut its throat.” She heard him swallow. “He had his stone face on. You know?” He shot her a glance and she nodded again.
Trey shivered, goose bumps rising on his skin. “Lufra, I can still see him! He walked toward me holding the dripping knife and I nearly wet myself. I thought I was next for sure. But he kneeled and checked me all over and his hands were so gentle.”
Trey smiled crookedly. “Then he picked me up and shook me ‘til my teeth rattled. That was it. Forever.”
He sighed, his ribs expanding under her hand. “It took me five years to understand what it was, what it truly was. And that he didn’t love me back.”
Anje frowned. “But Trey—”
He broke in. “Oh yes, he’s fond of me, he cares for me as a friend, a companion, his prince. But Anje—” He sat up and took her hands in his, forestalling the question on the tip of her tongue. “Gods, I want him! As much as I want you. When he looks at me a certain way, I get hard, and I seem to go soft in the head at the same time. I can’t help it.”
A prince? What prince? Her brain teemed with questions, but she could only ask them one at a time. She chose what interested her most. “What way? How does he look at you?”
Trey shook his head helplessly. “His eyes laugh, you know? Or they flame with the light of Lufra.”
“He makes my knees shake,” she confessed, feeling the heat creep over her cheeks.
“I watch him with you, Anje, and it hurts.”
“But you’re a part of it.”
His laugh was shaky. “I know what you’ve been trying to do. It’s a beautiful gift you’ve given me, to share the one you love.”
“But I don’t—” She stopped, her mouth hanging open like a fool.
“Yes, you do,” said Trey gently. “How could you not? Lufra sent you. And She approved the Bonding.”
The world tilted on its axis. Anje sank back on her heels, completely flummoxed. How could she have missed it? What was it Brin had said?
“You’ll surrender, scout, and you’ll glory in it. You’ll abandon yourself and adore it. And you’ll do it because you trust—trust absolutely.”
Sweet Mother, she’d done all those things! And why? Because she loved Brin, more than life, more than breath, more than—
No, not more…
She stared wide-eyed at Trey, his compact body dappled by sun and shade, and saw through the sweet, cocky façade to the rock-solid strength at his core. It was Trey’s love that kept Brin grounded, lightened the darkness in his soul, ensured his humanity.
And her own.
Even before she’d had Deklan, she’d lived her life alone. And to be honest, Deklan had made little difference, though she’d been fond of him. Fond! Inwardly, she rolled her eyes. She’d needed no one and been perfectly content.
What sort of cosmic joke had the gods played on her? Not once, but twice.
She was so deeply tangled with the both of them, she’d never get free. Wryly, she acknowledged that her solitary existence was gone forever.
“What are you thinking?” Trey took her hands in his. “The flames leap in your eyes.”
“I—” She stalled. Mother, the words were hard to say!
Trey kissed her knuckles. “Go on, Anje. Say it aloud, say you love him.”
Her mouth was dry. “That’s not it.” She shook her head. “I mean, I do. I do love him, but…”
“But what?”
She got it out in a single breath. “I love you too.” Gulping, she added, “I must be mad. Completely insane.”
There was absolute silence. Trey stared as if he’d been poleaxed. Then he laughed with delight. The ringing, exuberant sound echoed among the trees.
“Yes!” He punched a fist in the air. “Lufra, yes!” Hauling her into his arms, he kissed the life out of her.
“Trey, you idiot!” She struggled without much conviction. “I can’t breathe.”
His grin was blinding. “When? When did you know?”
“About three minutes ago?”
“Oh.” He looked taken aback for a second, but recovered quickly. “When do you think was the first moment then? When you fell?”
“Gods, you’re vain.”
“No, I’m not. I just need reassurance.” He waggled his eyebrows and leered. “Was it when you saw my cock?”
“No-o-o.” Smiling, Anje considered. “It was when you kissed me hullo. Remember?”
His face softened. “Like this.” He took her face between his palms and gazed deeply into her eyes. “Hullo, Anje. I’ll love you all my life.”
His lips whispered over her cheek, her eyelids, her nose, drifted to her mouth. Anje let her head fall back and he pressed her down. She relaxed beneath him and it seemed the most natural thing in the world for him to ease a small, sweet climax from her with his fingers, before slipping inside her and stroking them gently to completion.
The silken glide of his thrusts, the slow rise of her hips were a benediction, an act of love so exquisitely beautiful that they sipped each other’s tears, whispering foolish words of comfort and joy.
As she reached the crest and slipped over, Anje felt the link glow far, far away, like a blessing.
She ran her hands down Trey’s spine and over the curve of his fine ass, brushing her palms over downy hair and taut muscle. She took his earlobe between her teeth and breathed, “He’s awake.”
Trey arched a dark gold brow. “We’d better get on with the rescue then.” With a sigh, he disengaged himself from her body. Then he chuckled. “I can’t wait to see his face.”
Anje shrugged into her shirt. “It won’t be easy.”
He grunted as he pulled on his boots. “More like impossible. But we can’t leave him to the Hssrda.”
She shuddered. “Mother, no! I’d rather die. In fact, I know I would.”
Trey crawled out of their shelter and stood, stretching ‘til his shoulders creaked. “Agreed,” he said and the bleakness of his expression was worthy of Brin at his grimmest.
As she joined him, sniffing the green freshness of the morning, something shifted in Anje’s perceptions—and there it was.
The price in pain. The gods’ price for the love of two such extraordinary men.
Her duty and her honor.
There was no question about what she was going to do next. She couldn’t abandon Brin to slavery or death, nor could she leave Trey to die in a single-handed rescue attempt. Her guts clenching, she acknowledged the simple truth.
If she had to, she would sacrifice her life for theirs, because life without them wasn’t worth living. She loved Brin and Trey more than her duty as a scout, more than her professional pride. Ah, Mother of Mercy, more than the welfare of her people!
Bitterness rose in her throat and she closed her eyes, breathing hard. Holy Mother, forgive me, forgive me! But I can’t leave him to the gelding knives of the Hssrda! I cannot!
Like the Mother’s blessing, another thought came to her. All was not completely lost. If she could get her map to a fast rider, a messenger she could trust… Her reputation as a scout would never be the same in Mother’s Hearth, but that hardly mattered when the Matriarchs would have all the intelligence they needed to plan the Children’s defense.
Biting her lip, she worked with Trey to strike camp, worrying at her problem like a fellwolf with a carcass. Soon. It would have to be soon.
She cast a speculative glance at her companion, at his grim face as he strapped the saddlebags on the vranee. A smile trembled on her lips. Such a beautiful warrior, the Children would love him. He’d be safe once he reached Mother’s Hearth. She stole another look from under her lashes and sighed. His jaw was set rock hard, that luscious mouth thin with resolve. No, he’d never go and she couldn’t make him.
She lifted her arms so Trey could swing her up and settle her in front of him on Brownie. Twink still limped, so the
y’d decided to spare him the weight of a rider. “Which way?”
Anje closed her eyes and sought the tiny spark. Gods, she hoped she got better with practice! Deliberately, she relaxed, breathing the tension out of her muscles. The link tugged at her. “Through there.” She pointed and they set off.
After a little while, a thought occurred to her. “Trey, can you set wards?”
His brow creased. “It’s shaman’s magic. I don’t have the gift. We’ll just have to be very careful. How far away are they?”
“That’s just it!” Anje spat out an oath. “I know they’re not really close, because my head still hurts, but apart from that I can’t tell.”
Trey brushed her cheek with his lips. “It’s the link, love. It’ll get better as we get closer.” He hesitated. “We’re still somewhere on the tableland. My guess is the Hssrda will head for The Hollows.”
“What are they?”
Again the pause. “It’s the last settlement before the forest and the mountains. Though settlement is a polite description. The Hollows is more like a stationary blood bath, with lots of rotgut liquor thrown in.”
Anje’s heart leaped. There might be a rider there she could hire. It sank again. Scouts lived off the land. She had only a few coins.
Trey ran a hand through his hair until it stood up in red-gold spikes. When he spoke again, his voice was tight. “There are almost always Hssrda there, because of the slave market.”
Anje’s guts roiled. She knew what the Hssrda did to male slaves, especially the strong, potentially dangerous ones, but she couldn’t bear to say the words aloud. Instead, she asked, “He won’t do anything stupid, will he?”
Trey thought about it as Brownie waded through a shallow stream as delicately as a maiden lady. “I don’t think so. But if there are others, women or children…” She felt him shrug. “Lufra only knows.”
For another two days, they traveled through the forest of Sitariat-Gillen and every hour, the glow of the link grew imperceptibly brighter and the ache eased infinitesimally. Sometimes, Anje could even distinguish emotions. Once or twice, Brin’s rage had been so violent, it had actually hurt her in a vague sort of way, like grit in the back of her skull. But he wasn’t provoking punishment, because he was not in pain, only fretting under a low level of discomfort. She wondered if he was dampening the effects somehow, to spare her. She wouldn’t put it past him.
Gift of the Goddess Page 16
