Håkan glanced sullenly down at his shoulder. Then he hissed through gritted teeth: ‘When did you nick those files?’
I adopted a questioning look that I had practised at home in front of the mirror. I thought it gave the desired impression.
John caught up with me on the way to the canteen. He held out his hand.
‘Congratulations, Björn,’ he said with a crooked smile. ‘It’s great that things are going so well for you now.’
I took his hand and thanked him.
‘I’m sorry about all that business before,’ he said. ‘You know how things get in stressful workplaces. There isn’t always enough time to talk things through calmly.’
I decided to hold back from responding and just gave him a quizzical look.
‘I mean, places like this aren’t exactly famous for taking care of their staff when they get a bit – well, how can I put it? – overwrought.’
I went on looking at him in silence. It was obvious that it was starting to make him nervous.
‘But I’m really pleased you’re back on track, Björn. I just wanted you to know. Even the DG is pleased, he’s let us know how happy he is.’
He let out one of those exaggerated laughs, as if he was hoping I’d join in. I didn’t. His laughter died out. He looked round, leaned forward and said in a confidential tone, ‘Even the Minister is said to be pleased with our recent progress. You might manage to save all our jobs.’
He patted me on the shoulder and walked off.
54
I worked on the investigations in the room in the evenings and at night. I edited them during the day and found every part of the job as good as you might expect when it’s done by an expert. Inside the room I found a structure for the work. I regarded the investigator’s words as gospel, and through a process of elimination all that remained in the end was a clear and unambiguous decision. I found it easy.
Obviously each and every individual has different ways of reaching a decision. Some people find it hard, or think it feels strange. I discovered that I find it very easy to make decisions. It seemed to come naturally. I’m happy to decide things, and every time it felt perfectly fine formulating the way that things should be.
Jens came up to me one day fishing for advice.
‘How come you can suddenly …?’ Jens said. ‘I mean … we had no idea …’
‘Hard work,’ I said. ‘Hard work is the father of success.’
‘But how do you go about it, exactly?’
I smiled.
‘I’m sure you can understand that I can’t reveal my reasoning. That would be both undesirable and impossible. The best thing for the department and for you personally would be for you to work out your own way of reasoning on your own.’
55
To start with I only dealt with four-figure cases. But as news of my success began to spread, the occasional three-figure case would land on my desk. Suddenly Karl came up to me, all excited, and asked how I would feel about taking on number 97. It was a direct request from the DG, he said. I said I’d be happy to. Framework decision number 97 was my first double-digit case.
Karl came with me up to the investigators to pick up the material. We could have done with a trolley. As he walked beside me along the corridors of the upper floors with the heavy burden in his arms, it almost felt like he was my assistant. In some ways he had started to rely on me. I remember thinking: This is your future, Karl. Stick close to me.
Jörgen was losing his temper more and more often. Every now and then one of his outbursts would be aimed at Karl, usually for no obvious reason. But Karl shouted back, which I thought reasonable. Angry dogs need to be kept on a short lead.
56
My days were spent writing up and editing, but seeing as that didn’t fill the whole working day I soon abandoned my fifty-five-minute method and had a lot of time left over for networking in the office.
I spent long periods by the coffee-machine in the little kitchen, and noticed how people’s attitudes towards me gradually changed. I was given the space to spread out in social conversation. I would declare my opinion on various subjects and could immediately identify those who agreed with me, and those who said they did but were lying.
One day when we were standing there, Hannah with the ponytail suddenly said: ‘It’s great that you changed the bulb in here, Jens. It was high time that got done.’
She was grinning broadly and Jens tried to look nonchalant.
‘Oh, it’s no big deal,’ he said.
I put my cup down.
‘I thought about doing that a few weeks ago,’ I said.
And suddenly I realised the difference between me and my colleagues. I was ahead of them the whole time. By about two weeks. It took them numerous attempts to understand what I could see at the first go. Was it the same thing with the room? Would they stand there one day and discover what I had tried to show them such a long time before? Maybe they were just too immature to see what seemed utterly obvious to me? Was this how Copernicus felt?
57
As the days passed I began to feel a degree of irritation spread out and take hold of me.
Karl always helped me with heavy piles of documents. Sometimes he would be wholly responsible for their transportation from the investigators down to our department, if I had a lot to do, for instance. But when the work actually had to be done, I had to shift the heaps of material into the room without anyone seeing. It started to get rather wearing after a while.
Eventually I began to feel irritated at having to keep quiet about my real workplace. Besides, I was finding it both uncomfortable and tiring to have to wait until all the others had left each day before I could get any real work done.
Everyone else in the department carried on as usual. Took their breaks, chatted. Which annoyed me as well.
I realised fairly early on that there was a difference between my time and other people’s. I don’t just do one thing at a time. I can be on my way somewhere, but I’ll spend the time thinking about other things, things that may not have anything to do with what I’m doing just then. That way I maximise the use of my time.
For instance, I don’t just stand on the bus staring out of the window at things I’ve seen hundreds of times. I think about other things instead, calculating and thinking things through. Making decisions.
You have to apply the same principle in dealing with other people. Otherwise certain conversations can become incredibly time-consuming. I listen until I realise where the conversation is going, which in many cases can be deduced fairly early, then I switch off and concentrate on other things. There’s no reason to hear the same thing twice. Or three or four times. Ordinary people listen to a huge amount of nonsense that they would be better off without.
Ordinary people can do one thing at a time. I can deal with plenty. Surely I ought to be rewarded for that?
58
‘If it’s possible, I’d like to go through a few practical issues,’ I said to Karl in his office a couple of days later.
‘Shut the door, Björn,’ Karl said, parking his little trolley in the corner behind the desk.
I had asked for a private meeting to go through a list of things I couldn’t help thinking about. Maybe I could put a bit of pressure on him now that I had established myself and become more or less indispensible.
Karl was sweating a lot, and I couldn’t help wondering deep down about the state of his health.
‘I noticed that I didn’t get an email about the staff-development days,’ I said.
‘Didn’t you get the email?’ he said with the look of surprise between breaths.
‘Well, that depends on your definition.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Well,’ I said, leaning back in the chair, ‘it wasn’t addressed to me.’
‘But you got the email?’
‘I was copied into it, yes. I’d appreciate it if my name could be included in the list of recipients. As it is, I just got it as a copy.�
�
Karl pulled a handkerchief from his trouser pocket and mopped his brow.
‘But you did get the email?’
‘Only as a copy.’
‘Do you want to attend the staff-development days? If you do, I can just—’
I shook my head.
‘I’d never consider that,’ I said.
We both sat there in silence as he folded the handkerchief and put it back in his pocket.
‘Obviously, I’m not making any demands,’ I said. ‘I just wanted you to know that you’d be making it easier for me to choose all of you here, if there was ever any chance of my considering anything else.’
‘Considering anything else, Björn?’
‘You never know.’
‘Are you thinking of leaving us?’
‘I can’t go into that.’
Karl rubbed his head with one hand. I thought I could see a stiff smile on his lips.
‘Well, go ahead. What would you like to see?’
I took out the pad on which I’d written a few reminders.
‘Jörgen has to go.’
Karl looked at me, wide-eyed.
‘Sorry?’
‘I want Jörgen to leave. Be removed from the department. He can stay in the building, just out of my sight and hearing.’
‘Björn, that sort of demand—’
‘And I’m sure,’ I went on, ‘that my suggestions are well within the bounds of the organisation’s wishes.’
‘What … what did you say?’
‘I think you probably heard what I said.’
He patted his legs and attempted a strained grin.
‘You don’t understand, Björn. That isn’t how it works. I can’t just dismiss someone who—’
‘I think you can. With a bit of imagination.’
Karl shook his head. He looked at me, then shook his head again.
‘Like I said,’ I continued, ‘obviously I can’t decide what happens to anyone else …’
‘No, exactly,’ Karl said.
‘… apart from myself.’
He looked at me, suddenly serious.
‘I see. What else?’
I took my time, crossing one leg over the other. I adjusted my jacket with a pointed gesture.
‘Håkan should be demoted.’
Karl held up a hand to stop me, but I carried on before he had time to interrupt.
‘That can be motivated by disciplinary measures. I’ll see that you get the necessary evidence.’
‘You don’t understand,’ Karl began again.
‘What don’t I understand?’
‘Björn …’
‘According to the DG, I’m the only person in the department who’s understood—’
‘Björn, we can’t just suddenly—’
‘Do you want to hear my demands or not?’
Karl stared at me as if he were hoping I was going to stop joking. But I wasn’t joking. I was deadly serious.
‘Håkan has a wife and children …’
‘I can’t take that into consideration.’
Karl shook his head again, let out a deep breath, and looked very unhappy.
‘What else?’
‘Last but not least,’ I said, ‘possibly more important than everything else.’
‘Yes?’ Karl said.
‘I need free access to the room.’
Karl was staring again, and I thought I could see one of his eyebrows twitch.
‘You mean, “the room”?’
I nodded.
‘No!’ Karl said emphatically.
He stood up and started walking round the room.
‘No, no, no, Björn,’ he went on. ‘I thought we were done with that room?’
‘Not exactly,’ I said.
59
‘For God’s sake, there is no room!’ Jörgen said, waving his arms about and making the fruit picture sway.
He was sweating and looked like he might lose control at any moment. I thought this ought to be enough to make even Karl realise that keeping him in the department was untenable.
When we were all gathered like this it was called a big departmental meeting, but it just felt like Karl’s little glass cube was getting smaller and smaller. And hotter and hotter.
Yet there was something of a different atmosphere this time. Some people – John, for instance – were sticking closer to me.
‘But there is no room,’ Jörgen almost hissed this time. ‘Is there?’
He was staring at Karl almost beseechingly. Karl held up his hand.
‘Perhaps we could agree on the formulation “the room does not exist for everyone”?’
‘What the hell are you talking—’ Jörgen began, but Karl interrupted him.
‘I’m just trying to find a phrase that works for all of us. Can we agree …?’
‘But there is no room!’
Jörgen was getting close now. Jens hurriedly added: ‘First there was the business with the shoes …’
‘I’ve paid for them,’ I said.
‘… and now this.’
‘Either it’s there or it isn’t!’ Jörgen practically yelled.
John suddenly stood up beside me.
‘Maybe we’ve reached a point now where the room has a certain significance. And on those terms then it obviously does exist.’
Everyone looked at John.
‘Either there is a room there or there isn’t,’ Ann said.
‘It’s not quite that simple,’ Karl said.
‘Isn’t it? So what the hell is it, then?’ Jens said, glaring at Karl.
Karl turned to me. I cleared my throat, ran one finger over my chin and made no effort to hurry.
‘To put it mildly,’ I began, ‘we can probably take it for granted that out of everyone here, I’m the one who makes the largest contribution, purely in terms of work. I have to say that it seems more than reasonable for me to have access to a space of my own, and the room is a place where I feel I can work.’
Håkan was staring at me open-mouthed, then said: ‘But it doesn’t exist?’
Karl looked round.
‘I wonder,’ he said, ‘if it might be a good idea to bring in a consultant to look at this issue.’
‘What would the consultant do?’ Niklas said.
‘It might help us find a new way of looking at things.’
Jörgen craned his neck towards Karl. He was making an effort not to lose his grip.
‘You’re going to bring in a consultant to tell us the room doesn’t exist?’
‘Or does exist,’ I said. ‘I can quite understand that you might be scared of bringing in an outsider.’
‘That costs money,’ Ann said.
‘Maybe it would be worth it?’ Karl said.
Suddenly there was a loud noise. Not a howl, but an almost muffled sound. It was Jörgen.
‘Jörgen.’
‘I think I’m going mad,’ Jörgen said.
‘Okay, you need to calm down,’ Karl said. ‘It’s extremely important that we do the right thing in a situation like this. It’s important for the whole Authority. We’re not going to make any hasty decisions.’
I got the impression that he glanced in my direction. I stood up and walked towards the door.
‘Call me when you’ve finished working out how to clear up this elaborate charade. I’m perfectly prepared to overlook the whole thing and move on, but I’d like you to identify one person responsible for it. Someone I can consider as – how can I put it? – the guilty party. Have you got that?’
No one said anything. Their mouths were all hanging open. Even Jörgen was sitting there gawping.
Karin looked very unhappy.
‘Can’t we say that the room exists a little bit?’
Hannah with the ponytail tilted her head to one side.
‘It strikes me that it would feel rather uncomfortable to have a room that only Björn is allowed inside.’
While everyone was looking at her I walked out. I heard the discuss
ion resume with fresh impetus as soon as I closed the door.
60
I sat at my desk, moving the mouse up and down over the mouse-mat. All the while I could see above my screen the heated debate taking place inside Karl’s office. It looked quite funny, all those big people in such a little room. It was like they were part of some work of art. They were gesticulating and talking. I heard fragments of sentences, ‘a monster’ and ‘ought to get help’, but also ‘remember that Björn is working on two-figure cases these days’.
Eventually things quietened down and I stretched to get a better view of what they were up to.
After a good while they all emerged.
John came straight over to me. The others followed him, stumbling rather aimlessly, like the flock of sheep that they actually were. No one really seemed to know where to go. No one seemed capable of going back to work.
‘What’s going on?’ I asked.
‘Karl’s on his way up to the DG,’ John said.
‘Oh, what for?’
‘He’s going to ask him.’
‘About what?’
‘About the room. That’s what we agreed. That this is a matter for the DG.’
I smiled and patted him on the shoulder.
‘That’s probably right,’ I said.
Ann came up to us, and behind her trailed the rest of them. They ended up in a circle around Håkan’s and my desks. As if they didn’t really know where to go. As if I were going to read them a story.
‘What exactly is it that you want?’ Ann asked me.
She looked distraught. Unhappy. I wondered if she was about to burst into tears. I tried to answer in a gentle, friendly tone of voice.
‘I just want to do my job,’ I said.
There was muttering in the congregation.
‘And what do you think we’re doing, Björn?’
That was Håkan’s voice. He was having trouble getting to his place with everyone crowding round my desk. I looked up. First at him. Then at all the other anxious pairs of eyes around me.
‘Obviously I don’t know with one hundred per cent certainty,’ I said. ‘I can only speak for myself. Seeing as I have noticed the room over there and find a certain joy in working there, I have no option but to accept its existence, as I’m sure you can understand. I could work on the assumption that I myself am wrong and the rest of you right, but that doesn’t make much sense in my head. I simply have to assume that one of us is lying. Because I know that I am telling the truth, I draw the conclusion that the rest of you are telling untruths. That’s simply the logical conclusion.’
The Room Page 9
