by Hart, Emma
He smiled and scribbled his number on the back of a Target receipt from the coffee table. “It’s my job.”
“Well, thank you anyway.” I returned his smile and took his number. “What time should I call?”
“Whenever. I’m in work at eight, so if I don’t answer, leave a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”
“Okay.” I swallowed and said goodbye to Lucifer, smoothing around his ears the way the little demon liked.
Isaac walked me to the door. “He’ll be fine. He’s just going to need a few days to let the meds do their thing and he’ll be back to normal before you know it. I’ll do a full check on him anyway, especially since he was a stray.”
I smiled with relief. “Thanks. I still don’t even know if I’m keeping him.”
“Hannah, if you were going to get rid of him, you’d have done it already.” Isaac grinned knowingly. “I’ll take care of your kitten.”
“He’s not my kitten.”
“If you say so.” His grin became a smirk. “Goodnight, Hannah.”
“Night, Isaac. Thank you again.”
“Anytime.”
I stepped out onto the path and threw my hand up in a wave, clutching his number tightly in the other hand. He returned the gesture and stepped back inside, shutting the door.
I let myself into my house and locked the door behind me, then looked down at his number. It looked vaguely familiar, like I already had it saved in my phone, but I knew that was impossible.
I’d never had Isaac’s number, much to my disappointment. Not that I’d know what to do with it, mind you. I wasn’t exactly a go-getter in the dating department.
I’d probably just butt dial him.
Which was exactly why saving his number was a bad idea, but I didn’t have a choice. I’d just lose the receipt and then I’d be screwed.
I played with it in my hand as I went to get my phone from the kitchen.
Shit. I was late for my texting date. It was past ten-thirty.
Although, judging from the lack of unread texts, I wasn’t the only one who’d forgotten.
Whatever. I couldn’t be bothered with it tonight anyway. I was worried about my cat who wasn’t my cat.
I opened the phone menu and tapped in Isaac’s number. Halfway through, a little bar came up that matched the number.
No.
No way.
There was no way.
I finished tapping the number in and, yep, sure as shit, that number was a match.
The receipt fluttered out of my hand onto the floor, and I gripped my phone extra tightly so I wouldn’t drop that, too.
Of course I recognized that number.
I’d been texting it for the past few days.
My number neighbor, the guy I’d been sexting and masturbating to, was Isaac.
My hot, British, next-door neighbor Isaac. Who I’d had a crush on forever. Who was currently looking after my kitten, so of course he hadn’t been able to text.
I was sitting right in front of him.
And for the last few days, I’d been getting myself off and imagining screwing Nick Jonas, when the actual guy I’d been talking to was just across a driveway.
Holy mother of fucking God.
CHAPTER FOUR – HANNAH
Slap My Ass And Call Me Scarlett
ME: IT’S ISAAC
ME: MY NUMBER NEIGBOR IS FUCKING ISAAC
I put my phone down after shooting the messages off to Immy and paced the room. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t believe I’d spent the last few evenings sexting my neighbor.
Oh, God, he knew what my favorite sex position was.
I knew what his was.
How would I ever look him in the eye again?
Wait, never mind looking at him. How the hell was I supposed to call him? Presumably he had my number saved, but if not, he would probably save it after I called him, and my name would appear on the texts.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
No. This couldn’t happen. Isaac could never know about this. I would have to move, and quite frankly, I didn’t have enough money to move.
My phone rang, and I answered the video call from Immy.
“What do you mean he’s your number neighbor?” she shrieked down the line, the phone wobbling as she walked down the hallway. “How can that be possible?”
“I don’t know, but it’s true.” I was still pacing. “I took Lucifer over because he’s really sick and Isaac gave me his number and when I put in my phone the Number Neighbor listing showed up and it’s his number!”
“If you don’t breathe, I’m going to hang up on you.”
I drew in a deep breath. “What the hell do I do?”
She shrugged and entered the bathroom.
“You’re not going to poop, are you?”
She flashed me her toothbrush. “You could sleep with him. I bet there are worse things you could do than sleep with a hot, British animal lover. In fact, I know you’ve done worse.”
“This isn’t the reassurance I was hoping for, I’m not gonna lie.”
“Why did you call me then?”
“I didn’t. You called me.”
She paused, then pulled the toothbrush from her mouth. “Then you really shouldn’t have expected any reassurance at all. Your unrealistic expectations are all on you.”
“You’re ridiculous. I’m supposed to call him tomorrow morning, but if I call, he’ll save my number, and realize that it’s been me he’s texting.”
“So what are you going to do?” she asked around her toothbrush. “Hold on.”
I had a clear view of the ceiling, and the sound of her spitting the paste out and running the tap crackled through the speaker.
She really could have done this before she called.
“Are you done?” I asked when she picked the phone back up.
Defiantly, she took a mouthful of water, swilled it, and spat it out. “I’m done.”
“Remind me to make new friends.”
“Like you have the patience for that.” The phone wobbled again as she walked into her room. “What are you going to do? And how do you know Lucifer is a boy?”
“Isaac violated him and found balls.”
“Not a good day for Lucifer, then.”
It really wasn’t. “How am I supposed to call him when it’ll give it all away?”
“Are you really going down the pretending it never happened route?”
“Um, yeah?”
“Hannah, that’s ridiculous. Now that you know it’s him, you can’t text him anymore, and you have the verbal control of a toddler trying to say ‘fork.’” Immy tilted her head to the side, eyebrows quirked. “There’s no way you’re going to live next to that man and never let it slip that you know he wants to put Scarlett Johansson on her knees and fuck her senseless.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but there really was nothing I could say back. It was the damn truth. I was useless.
“Okay, fine. Then I don’t know what to do. I can’t pretend like I don’t know if I give him my number.”
“Just call him and if he figures it out, he figures it out.”
“That’s easy for you to say. I can barely focus when he speaks to me as it is. Never mind if he were to talk about dirty things.”
Immy sighed. “Yeah. I kinda spaced out when Dolly got spayed last week. I barely understood a word he said and I still sighed as we left. Mason was pissed.”
“Mason will live. My predicament is far worse and it’s all your fault!”
“Hey! I didn’t tell you to do it every night. I didn’t even think you’d do it once!”
“And that makes it okay?”
“Again, your unrealistic expectations of me are all on you.”
“How does that even apply here?”
“I think you’re looking for someone to blame even though the only person who stuck her hand in her pants and poked the bear to dirty messages with a stranger was you.”
“Wait!” Immy laughed. “Look, just go over to his place in the morning instead of calling. It’s that simple, Hannah.”
Huh.
So it was.
“But that doesn’t change the fact that—”
“I know. But it’s late. You’ve had a long day. You’re tired,” Immy replied. “Get Lucifer back and we’ll work through what to do tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.” I blew out a long breath and nodded. “Tomorrow.”
Her lips quirked. “Don’t do anything crazy like run over there right now, okay?”
“Okay. I won’t. Don’t worry. I’m not sure I can ever look him in the eye again anyway.”
“I don’t think I can look him in the eye knowing he’s a dirty talker,” she replied. “Anyway, I’m going to bed to dream of Mason with a British accent.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Thanks. I’ll just go to bed with my nightmare.”
“Ah, think of it like this: at least you might get laid now.” With that delightful silver lining, she hung up on me.
I didn’t need to be a genius to say this: I was not going to get laid.
There was no way in the world that Isaac was interested in me like that, and there was no guarantees he would be even after learning that we shared a sexual fantasy or two.
Wait.
No, he wasn’t going to learn that. I wasn’t going to tell him, and I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that he never, ever got my number to find out.
***
There was something about an early morning sunrise that made me feel good.
I didn’t know if it was being up before the birds and being able to experience the silence that came with such a thing, or if it was simply the beauty of the ever-changing color of the sky, a bit like a kaleidoscope.
Maybe it was the magic of both combined.
Either way, I was awake at the ass-crack of dawn, nursing a cup of coffee while I looked out of my bedroom window. The view made me love living in a small town. It was about the only thing that did, but something had to give.
I raised the mug to my lips and sipped, casting my gaze over the countryside. It stretched for miles, and the sun used the greenness as its own personal canvas as it rose, painting it in hues of orange and yellow.
It was beautiful.
Unlike the thoughts that were running through my head. I was completely terrified for today. Between wanting to know if Lucifer was okay and trying to avoid ever opening my mouth in front of Isaac, lest I say something stupid.
I finished my coffee and headed downstairs. It was approaching seven-fifteen, and I had my plan all figured out.
I was going to head over to Isaac’s, very carefully control my words, then hopefully bring Lucifer home.
And that would be the end of it.
It was a foolproof plan—not that anything being foolproof had ever stopped me screwing up before. However, this time, I was fresh off a cup of coffee, freshly showered, and wearing my take-on-the-world panties.
AKA, bright blue cotton briefs with lipstick print all over them.
A girl wanted to be comfortable while she was taking on the world.
It was no good if you had to stop to pull your thong our of your ass, was it?
I slipped my flip-flops on and made sure to pick up my keys so I didn’t lock myself out. Deep breaths followed; I was not going to mess this up.
I was not going to mess this up.
I was not going to mess this up.
I was not going to—
Do a damn thing, because Isaac’s car wasn’t there.
Ugh!
I dropped my head back in frustration. This was supposed to be my out, and now, I was even more screwed.
I had to call. I literally had no choice; if I didn’t, I was a bad pet owner.
For the cat that wasn’t my cat, but whatever.
Was I shallow enough that I cared what my hot, dirty-talking neighbor thought about me?
Hell yeah I was.
Anyone would be. Anyone who said otherwise was a goddamn liar.
With a sigh, I turned around and let myself back into my house. I could go by the vets and check myself, but I still had to dry my hair and get to work on time since I was opening the art store today.
Eeeee.
That was the exact noise my brain made as I headed back into my room to blow dry my hair. It was like all the air was being sucked out my brain and funneled out through my ears or something, because the realization that I had to call Isaac, no matter what, was soul-crushing.
Sure, I could go by at lunch, but that made me a horrible person.
Besides, I promised I’d call. And unlike half the guys I’d ever met in my life, I kept my word.
I know. I was a rare breed.
Well, I kept it unless I forgot.
Instead of just calling Isaac and getting it over and done with, I delayed the inevitable and picked up my hairdryer. Twenty minutes later, I’d successfully tamed my apparently enviably thick hair into something that didn’t look like a rat’s nest.
Seriously—everyone wanted thick hair until they molted enough to make their very own Cousin It in the shower.
Unless someone was going to send me the Gomez Addams to go with it, I was never going to like the furball that left my scalp every time I washed my hair.
Thank God I wasn’t a cat. That’s all I was saying.
I ran the flat iron through my hair until it no longer looked like I’d stuck my fingers through a power outlet, then used it to make loose curls that fell over my shoulders. It took me a few more minutes to do my makeup, but as soon as that was done, I stopped and stared at my phone.
This was it.
The moment of truth.
I would have to deal with the outcome later.
Swallowing hard, I picked up my phone and dialed Isaac’s number. I hung up quickly before it could even ring and threw my phone on the bed.
Nope. Couldn’t do it.
Jesus, I had no choice. What was wrong with me?
I retrieved it from its burrow in my unmade bed and called him again. This time, it rang three times before the line clicked and there was a deep, “Hello?” rumbling in my ear.
“Hi. Isaac. It’s, um, Hannah.”
“Good morning!” he said brightly, his accent tingling parts of me that had no business tingling this early in the morning. “How are you?”
Extremely uncomfortable.
“Hi, fine, thanks,” I mumbled down the line before clearing my throat. “Uh, how’s Lucifer?”
“Much better,” Isaac replied to the sound of some shuffling. “The meds are already clearing his congestion, and he’s eating as I’d expect him to. We gave him a full check over and he’s otherwise completely healthy.”
I relaxed, my shoulders sagging as relief swept over me. A part of the tension that had been tightening my neck loosened. “That’s good to know. When can I have him back?”
“I thought he’s not your kitten.”
“He’s not.” I paused. “I’m just, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” He chuckled. “You can come by and get him, or I can bring him back with me tonight and drop him off. Do you have a cat box?”
“A what now?”
“A cat carrier? Something to take him home in?”
“Oh. No. No, I don’t have one. I haven’t taken him anywhere yet. I can get one though and—”
“Don’t worry about it. He’s quite happy here being fussed over by the vet techs in the back. I’ll bring him over tonight.”
I swallowed. “Sure. Okay. That would be great.”
“When do you finish work?”
“Four-thirty.”
“I’ll bring him by around six. Does that work?”
No. It’ll never work. “Sure,” I lied. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
I did not appreciate it.
“It’s no bother. It’s not like you’re out
of my way.” Another rumbling laugh. “My next appointment is here. I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah, see you.” My voice faded out at the same time the line did, and I turned my head to look in my mirror.
How the hell was I supposed to look that man in the eye?
CHAPTER FIVE – ISAAC
Oh, Bollocks
I didn’t have a patient.
I wasn’t even close to having a patient. I wasn’t even supposed to bloody well be at work this early, but an emergency had brought me in, and it wasn’t worth going home.
Now, I was glad of that.
If anyone would have told me that Hannah was my number neighbor a week ago, I’d have told them to bugger off. That was the most unlikely outcome of the weird yet sexy scenario I’d found myself in for the past several evenings.
Hannah.
My hot, hilarious neighbor.
If I’d been attracted to her before, that had increased tenfold. Of course I’d never moved to do anything about it—it’d been less than a year since I’d broken up with my ex, and I’d thrown myself into work ever since.
Not to mention that nobody wanted to date and potentially dump their neighbor.
You’d be fucked if you needed a cup of sugar from the girl whose heart you’d broken.
Assuming I would have broken her heart. I wasn’t really a heartbreaker, despite what the vet techs here would tell you.
They were also all older than me, bar one tech, so I was pretty sure they were just screwing around with me.
Maybe. Nobody could ever tell with these ladies.
I blew out a long breath and gripped the edge of the exam table. I dropped my head down to stare at the cold blue tiles on the floor, shutting my eyes.
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
I had no bloody idea how I’d kept my cool in that phone call. When the oh-so-familiar number flashed on the screen, I hadn’t even realized why I recognized the unsaved number until I’d already answered and it was too late.
Hearing her voice…
Fuck.
That was all I had for it.
Fuck.
How was I supposed to see her later without my dick getting hard? How was I supposed to look her in the damn eye with the knowledge that she liked it on her knees with her hair being pulled?
