“Any of these take your fancy, hon?”
Kate was too tired to care one way or the other and could barely bring herself to make a selection.
“You pick,” she said. “My choices tonight don’t seem to have brought us much luck.”
Jasper grunted and said, “Mine neither. Ally, you’re in the hot seat. Pick a guest house.”
She glanced through the windshield and peered hard through the rain.
“How about that one?” she said. She pointed to a small white property with attractively maintained flower baskets hanging from the wall. A large sign above the door identified the place as ARDMORE HOUSE.
“Anyone have any objections?” Jasper said.
No one did. It occurred to Jasper that the night’s events had brought each one of them to the very brink of exhaustion. They would remain wary and suspicious of everything from now on, he thought; to this end silence was perhaps the best approach.
“Okay,” Jasper said, sounding faintly relieved. “Ardmore House it is.”
* * *
The proprietor was a man named Mr. Wallace. He was small and looked uncomfortable as he escorted them inside. He walked slowly and held his left hand to his lower back, as though something was digging into his spine. Perhaps he was hoping to locate the source of the discomfort and physically wrench it from his body, as Jasper had seen soldiers do with shrapnel during the war. If so, the man was in for a long wait; arthritis was never so easily displaced.
Mr. Wallace offered them a pained smile. He wore a dark green hand-knitted tank top over a blue striped shirt, but to Jasper’s eye both garments had seen better days. The cuffs of the shirt were frayed and the tank top was coming apart at the seams. It didn’t augur well for the upkeep of the rooms.
Jasper followed the man as he shuffled down the hallway; he realized he had taken an instant dislike to him, but couldn’t quite determine why. Perhaps it was merely a natural by-product of being increasingly aware of how exposed Kate and Billy had become; of his responsibility to protect them better than he could so far lay claim to, despite the fact that they remained unharmed.
He stared at Mr. Wallace, wondering how many strangers he would now mistrust on sight, and fidgeted anxiously in the narrow lobby of Ardmore House. Behind him, Kate held Billy in her arms and Alison rested a comforting hand on Jasper’s hip. Mr. Wallace stood behind a dark wooden counter with a guest book and a pen at the ready. His face was clenched, like an old potato. He had strands of oily hair discreetly positioned across the top of his balding scalp.
“Would that be a family room,” he said, “or two doubles?”
He wore a pair of wire framed half-moon glasses resting on the end of his nose that seemed to constantly toy with the notion of falling off. He looked at Jasper over the rim of the spectacles and sighed, as though a delay of even several seconds would be a monumental inconvenience for him.
“Two doubles,” Jasper said. “But as close as possible.”
Mr. Wallace stared at him. He was clearly not a man accustomed to taking requests. He looked troubled for a moment, as though sensing that he had made a mistake inviting these people into his house.
“I’ll give you rooms four and five,” he said, turning to retrieve the keys from the rack behind him. “They’re on the top floor, but they’re adjacent and have wonderful views across the bay.”
He paused for a moment, possibly expecting Jasper to convey his gratitude, and then handed over the keys.
“Each fob contains two keys,” he pointed out. “One for your room and one for the front door. Please keep them safe.”
Jasper took them and made to leave.
“Perhaps you could sign in first,” Mr. Wallace said, rotating the guest book.
Jasper noticed that Mr. Wallace had a wispy mustache on his upper lip that looked like a small child’s distracted scribble. He wondered if the man was still waiting for it to grow in or if he was staring at the end product. Either way, it was certainly not a flattering look.
Jasper picked up the pen and signed in as Mr. and Mrs. Campbell. Underneath that he signed in Kate as Mrs. Jackson. Mr. Wallace turned the guest book towards him and read the names.
“And the boy?” he said.
“When he’s old enough to pay the bill, he can sign in,” Jasper said, and turned away, having had more than his fill of Mr. Wallace’s unwholesome face.
Jasper moved towards the stairs and Mr. Wallace scurried from behind the counter to intercept him.
“What about your luggage?” he said.
“It’s in the truck,” Jasper said quickly. “We’ll collect it when it stops raining. Now if you don’t mind, Mr. Wallace, my family and I have had a long journey. We’d like to get some rest.”
There was another lengthy pause and then Mr. Wallace stepped aside.
“Of course,” he said. “Make yourself at home. I’ll be down here if you need anything.”
Jasper nodded his thanks and the four of them walked to the stairs. Nobody spoke; they didn’t need to. The weight of their silence was enough.
* * *
The rooms were marginally better than Kate had imagined. Though sparsely appointed with cheap furniture, the beds were comfortable and the views across the bay were exactly as the proprietor had described. She had arranged with Jasper and Alison to spend an hour resting before reconvening to review their options. She had too much on her mind, though, and Billy was growing restless. There were only so many boats a child was willing to watch drift along the horizon before the novelty lost its appeal. She found a deck of cards in the drawer of an old bureau and taught him how to play Chase the Ace and Happy Families. In this way the hour passed and Kate began to formulate a basic plan of action. Once the realization hit that it would be better to confront Jimmy on her own terms, it seemed logical to start thinking about how and where such a meeting might take place.
There was a gentle knock at the door and Jasper’s voice said, “Kate? You awake?”
She opened the door and invited both Jasper and Alison into the room.
“Get any sleep?” she said.
“A little,” Alison replied. “You?”
“Billy decided we didn’t need any,” she said with a smile.
The boy looked up from the bed and reached for Alison’s hand. “I’ve got a new game,” he said, holding the deck of cards aloft in his hand. “Want to play with me?”
“Of course, sweetheart. I’m not too old for it, am I?”
Billy grinned. “Anyone can play,” he said. “Even little kids, like me.”
Alison sat on the bed and began dealing the cards, distracting Billy with simple questions about the game. Jasper took Kate by the elbow and steered her towards the window overlooking the bay. He noticed that the rain had stopped.
“How’re you feeling?” he said, not really knowing where to begin.
“Pretty drained. You?”
Jasper grunted and stared out to sea, trying to measure the miles between where he stood and the distant coastline.
“What happens next?” he said.
Kate ran a hand across her face. She looked older than Jasper remembered; dark clouds had gathered beneath her eyes; her hair was dull and unkempt.
“He’ll keep coming,” Kate said. “Jimmy won’t stop until he’s tracked us down and taken Billy back. He’d rather die than be left with nothing. That’s the kind of man he is.”
Jasper thought for a moment. “Is it about reclaiming the boy or is it more about hurting you?”
Kate closed her eyes, pictured Jimmy holding Billy in his strong arms as he carried him up to bed. “Probably a little of both,” she said.
Jasper nodded, having suspected as much some time ago. “I really don’t know what to suggest for the best, hon,” he said. “If Jimmy’s as persistent as you say he is, it might be time to consider going to the police.”
Kate lowered her voice. “We’ve been over this, Jasper. I put Jimmy’s eye out. My house is covered in his blood
. He’ll use it to his advantage and make me out to look like a bloody head case. I’ll lose Billy for sure.”
“So what do you want to do?”
Kate looked at Jasper, this sweet, gruff man who had willingly drifted into her nightmare to help save her and her son from a one-eyed lunatic. She still wasn’t entirely sure why Jasper and Alison had stood by them for so long, but she was damn grateful that they had. Without the McCrays, Kate had no doubt at all that she and Billy would have been forced apart hours ago.
“I have to confront Jimmy,” Kate said. “Try to talk to him. That way I get to negotiate on my own terms.”
Jasper frowned and shook his head. “That sounds like the worst possible idea, Kate. We’ve just spent the last ten hours trying to put as much distance between us as possible. I don’t think any of us could face Jimmy again after tonight. Especially Billy.”
Kate listened to Jasper’s argument, understanding it completely, realizing that everything he said made sense.
She reached for his hand and said, “That’s why I plan to meet him alone.”
Jasper looked at her, unable to fathom where she was headed. He wondered if the fatigue had addled her brain.
“An even worse idea,” he said, pulling away his hand. “Bloody foolish.”
“If I can talk to him,” Kate went on, “I might be able to make him realize he’s making a huge mistake. Either way, I have no intention of standing by and letting Jimmy hunt us down. Not anymore.”
There was a pause as Jasper considered Kate’s words. “What if he’s not in the mood for talking,” he said softly.
Kate glanced over at Billy and Alison happily playing cards on the bed. “I’ll just have to try a different approach,” she said. “He’s not taking Billy away from me, Jasper. I’m prepared to do anything to protect him.”
The statement hung in the air like the last peal of a cathedral bell, haunting and resonant.
“It might be better for the boy if you just kept running. When we left him, Jimmy was in a pretty bad way. Christ knows what Sally intended to do with him.”
“He’ll have found a way to sweet-talk his way out of that,” she said. “I know Jimmy. He won’t stop until he finds us. We could keep moving, looking for new places to hide, but I refuse to live in fear of him. I’ve spent the last three years doing that and look where it’s got me. How can I expect Billy to live like that?”
Jasper sighed, conceding defeat. He realized that the boy was Kate’s strongest card. In any discussion about the way forward, they were all agreed that the child should be safeguarded at all costs.
“I need you to promise me something,” Kate said. “You and Alison.”
Jasper waited, already resigned to helping in whatever capacity he could.
“I need you to look after Billy for me,” she said. “Even if I don’t come back.”
Jasper chose to ignore the implication. “We’ll look after him till you return,” he said. “After that, he’s all yours.”
He made to move away from the window and then stopped and turned to face Kate.
“How the devil do you expect to find him?”
Kate smiled. “He’ll retreat to the house,” she said. “He knows I’ll return eventually. Doesn’t everyone find their way back home in the end?”
* * *
Kate and Billy were walking hand in hand along the beach. The sand was wet, but the rain had stopped, leaving behind a firmer surface on which to walk. Billy had taken off his shoes and socks and was dancing out of reach of the encroaching sea, giggling happily when the water surrounded his toes. He seemed to have dismissed from his mind all the bloodshed and horror that had unfolded during the night and had rediscovered the kind of playful innocence that broke Kate’s heart as she watched, knowing even as she held tight to Billy’s hand that his delight in such simple pleasures could never last.
“Did you enjoy playing cards with Alison?” she said, helping him dodge another incoming wave.
Billy grinned. “She gave me a penny every time I won,” he said. “Look.” He turned out his coat pocket and showed Kate a handful of coins.
“You’re quite the gambler,” Kate said, laughing.
They had left the McCrays in Ardmore House to allow Kate to talk to Billy alone, but she suddenly realized that she missed them. They seemed to know the right thing to do whenever things got tough; always intuitively reached for the right thing to say. Kate felt her stomach tighten at the thought of trying to explain to Billy what she was about to do. Guidance from the McCrays would have been welcome right about now; and Alison would have known exactly how to play it, too.
She glanced out at the surf, suddenly ashamed of herself. She had relied on the support of the McCrays enough for one night. This was something she had to do alone. It was between her and Billy. No one else. She just had to find the right words.
“It’s been a strange day,” she said, searching for an opening. “I hope it hasn’t made you too sad, Billy.”
The boy stopped and looked up at her. “Why would I be sad?”
“Because of what happened between me and Daddy. Some of the things you saw last night weren’t very nice.”
Billy went silent and looked away over the distant dunes. Kate wondered what he was thinking about; clung to his hand as though she could somehow divine whatever anxiety was playing on his mind.
“It’s alright,” Billy said softly. “Jasper said it was okay to feel scared. He said he felt scared sometimes, too.”
Kate felt a fresh heaviness in her heart and wanted to reach out and hug the boy till he screamed. The child had witnessed far too much for one so young. That she had been partly responsible for creating his distress was unforgivable.
“Your daddy−” Kate began, but then stalled, unable to finish the sentence for fear of where it might lead. She tried again. “Your daddy’s angry, Billy, because he misses us. He did something very bad and that’s why we had to leave, but he still loves you very much. You know that, don’t you?”
Billy nodded. “I think Daddy hurt his eye,” he said.
Kate looked away, frustrated by how difficult this was proving to be. She could barely bring herself to look into Billy’s face without feeling a wave of guilt and pain.
“Don’t worry too much about Daddy,” she said. “He can take care of himself. You’re the one I’m worried about, Billy.”
“Why? Is Daddy still looking for us?”
“I think he is, yes. And I don’t think he’ll stop until he finds us.”
A single tear appeared on Billy’s cheek. “Does he want to hurt me?” he whispered.
Kate bent down and knelt on the sand, taking Billy’s face in her hands. “God, no,” she said. “He’d never hurt you, Billy. He adores you. That’s why he’s still looking for us. He just wants to see you again. That’s all.”
“I’m scared of Daddy’s eye,” Billy said. “I don’t think I want to see him like that.”
“You don’t have to,” Kate said. “I’m going to meet Daddy and have a long talk with him. We’ll figure out what’s best for everyone. Okay?”
Billy took in what his mother had just said and looked momentarily confused.
“If you see him, Daddy might get angry again.”
“I don’t think he will, Billy. I’ll talk to him, make him understand that we won’t sit idly by while he destroys our life together. It’s just not going to happen.”
Billy remained unconvinced. “I don’t want you to go,” he said. “I’ll be all alone.”
“Don’t be silly. You’ll have Jasper and Alison to look after you. It’ll be like a seaside adventure. Just the three of you.”
“But I don’t want to stay with them. I want to come with you. I’ll miss you.”
Kate had to turn away; she was barely able to suppress her emotion. If Billy kept picking away at her like this, she’d fall apart.
“And I’ll miss you,” she said, giving him a lingering hug. “But it’ll just be for a da
y or two. I promise. Until we get everything straightened out.”
Billy reached up and touched his mother’s face with his gritty hand. “What if you don’t come back,” he said.
Kate looked at him—her gentle, beautiful child—and tasted the bitterness of the sea salt in the air.
“I’ll not let anybody come between us, Billy. I promise. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep us together.”
She knew it didn’t altogether allay his fears, but it was the best she could do under the circumstances.
“You promise you’ll take care of Alison and Jasper for me while I’m gone?”
Billy nodded solemnly.
“Good boy.” She gave him another hug and kissed him on the cheek. “One last thing,” she said. She delved into her coat pocket and then reached out her hand. She opened her palm. A playing card rested there, facedown.
“Take it,” Kate said.
Billy did as he had been bid and turned the card over in his hand. It was the Queen of Hearts.
“Keep it safe,” Kate said, “and every time you feel lonely or afraid, I want you to take it out and hold it in your hand, just like this. It’s a very special card, Billy, because it will remind you of me, even if we happen to be apart. I want you to picture me blowing you a kiss and sending it through the air, directly from my heart to yours. That’s where the magic is, Billy; it always lies in the kiss.” She knelt down and placed her finger against his damp lips. “The Queen of Hearts never lets anyone be lonely or afraid for long. Okay, sweetheart? Never.”
She stood up and felt the wind whipping around her face. Sand was catching in her eyes and she let it come, freeing up the tears she no longer had the strength to contain.
CHAPTER 17: HOME FIRES BURNING
Frank stepped outside the cottage and felt the cold work its way into his bones. He lifted his face to the open sky, taking in the wide darkness above, and invited the snowflakes to land on his skin. He stuck out his tongue, remembering Jake doing something similar in winters past, and the snow that settled there instantly melted. He smiled, thrilled by his victory; the cold flakes were no match for the heat of his blood.
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