by Eden Robins
“I may be a man, honey, but I don’t understand my man. What more does he want from me? I’m not dating anyone else. We saw each other or spoke to each other daily. I bought him gifts all the time to let him know how much I appreciate him. I let him cook for me because I knew how much he liked it. I think I’ve been pretty clear on my feelings for him.”
“Have you told him you love him yet?” Sabrina asked bluntly.
Ruben immediately looked uncomfortable.
“What? Well, uh, no. I haven’t. You know those are words I don’t throw around lightly. They mean too much to do otherwise. But enough about me, tell me more about Eric kissing you.”
“Quit trying to change the subject. You need to tell him, Ruben. Arturo wants to hear those words from you. If you don’t, you’re going to lose him. You do understand that, don’t you?”
Those words rang over and over in her head. Had she ever followed her own advice? Why hadn’t she told Eric how she felt about him until it was too late? Had she ever let down her guard enough to let him in, to show him who she really was or what her true feelings for him were? Sabrina realized in that moment that she hadn’t. That she hadn’t given herself fully to Eric. Something always held her back. And he had been able to tell.
Sabrina’s attention returned to Ruben as his casual expression turned vulnerable, and his eyes haunted.
“You know I have a problem with that, ’Brina,” Ruben admitted, using the nickname he had called her since they were children.
Sabrina could relate. She had the same problem. The only difference is that she now completely understood the consequences of holding back like that. She didn’t want her friend to make the same mistake.
“Well, it’s your choice. Just remember what you might lose because of that problem. Personally, I think you need to get over it and tell Arturo the truth—about everything.”
“Maybe.” Ruben’s face closed down at that point and Sabrina knew this discussion was over, for now. Her friend was struggling with an issue only he could resolve within himself. Just as she was battling her own demons.
“So tell me more about your hunky security guard. And I want the details, girlfriend,” Ruben asked, lightening the mood with a teasing smile.
Sabrina rolled her eyes.
“What’s to tell? You remember Eric. He hasn’t changed one bit. Still stubborn, still determined to get his own way, still shuts down whenever he doesn’t like what’s being talked about.”
“Still incredibly sexy and good-looking, with that wicked scar running down his face that makes him look like a pirate?” Ruben asked. “Does he still have that gorgeous body of his? And those eyes. Whew, I could lose myself in those eyes, ’Brina. And his butt—”
“Yes, yes, yes, okay!” she said, laughing out loud. “Enough about his appearance. Yes, he’s still incredibly good-looking. I still get lost in his eyes every time I look into them. Yes, he makes my knees weak and my legs turn to jelly when he touches me. Yes, I crave him in a way I’ve never craved another man. Any other questions?”
“No, I think you just about summed that one up, hon,” her friend said, chuckling softly.
“Oooh you! Why did you have to get me all worked up like this? I wanted to meet with you so that we could discuss how I can get a handle on this situation, how I can get a handle on him.”
“Oh you won’t be able to do that. I can tell you that right now, sweetie. Eric is not the kind of man you get a handle on. He gets a handle on you, and you love every minute of it!” Ruben laughed out loud.
Sabrina frowned at him.
“I won’t be handled, Ruben. Seriously, I need to figure this out. How can I get out of this predicament? I wouldn’t mind working with someone else at the agency, just not Eric.”
Her friend sobered up at her serious tone.
“Why don’t you talk to the owner? What’s his name again? Mr. Maksimovitch?” Ruben suggested. “I’m sure he would be open to hearing you out. Just explain the situation to him. There has to be someone else whom you can work with. He’s not the only security specialist at that agency. But fair warning, darlin’, I’ve heard in certain circles that all the men working at Sundown Security are good-looking, but they’re also all alpha males. Keep that in mind. At least with Eric you have the known factor.”
Sabrina nodded her head in agreement.
“I plan on speaking to Vlad tonight. But I know from the times I met him during the ASU case they were covering that he’s very careful about who he selects for each job. He’s very conscientious and very successful at what he does. That’s why I don’t get this. I don’t understand why he would choose Eric to guard me if he knows all about our past together.”
“I guess you’ll find out tonight. Just make sure you have a damn good argument for not wanting Eric, and go from there.”
“You’re right. I’ll talk to Vlad, make him listen. I just can’t be around Eric like this. We don’t mix. Things become too volatile. And I think I’d almost prefer the unknown factor of using someone else. Good-looking and alpha aside, with another security specialist I could prepare for the impact.”
She’d never had the opportunity to do that with Eric. He had snuck under her radar because she’d never had that kind of radar. She had been in different relationships throughout her life, but none of the other men she had known were like Eric. None had gotten beneath her skin, none had touched her heart and none had connected to her soul the way he had.
And she hadn’t even seen it coming.
She had been attracted to him from the first, but it was his mind and personality that had ensnared her. He was a poet and a warrior at the same time. So open in some ways and totally closed in others. He was a dichotomy. It was that aspect of his personality that pulled at her. That drew her in. He was a puzzle. And as she discovered one piece of the puzzle that was him, another would dangle in front of her eyes, enticing her with its complexity. She had wanted to solve the puzzle. She had wanted to find out what made this man so different, so complex and so appealing.
But it never happened.
Because he had also tried to solve her puzzle.
He had tried to break down her barriers.
And she had let him get closer to her than any man ever had before.
But in the end, she had done what she always did.
She pulled away.
It was a hard habit to break. She had grown up with one rule drummed time and time again into her head by her parents.
We protect our own.
Sabrina didn’t want to break that faith. She and her kind were different, and because of those differences folks sometimes felt threatened. She had always been taught to keep her true identity hidden, or she and her people could be endangered. So, from the time she was a little girl, she always held part of herself back, except when she was with her immediate family. They were the only ones she truly trusted.
Despite this, Sabrina had fallen in love with Eric. But, she understood now, that hadn’t been a mistake. Her mistake had been not telling him her feelings, in hiding who she was and distancing herself from him until the last possible moment. And if she were honest with herself, she would admit that the self-protection technique she had used her whole life was what drove him away faster than anything else. That and the fact that he’d said he just wasn’t that into her.
End of story.
Sabrina had fallen apart, like Humpty Dumpty falling off the wall. She had broken into so many pieces that for a while she didn’t know herself. But slowly, painfully, she put herself back together again. The new her was different. Her skin was thicker and her radar was up stronger than before.
Never again. That’s what Sabrina promised herself. She would never let someone hurt her like that again.
“So, Sabrina’s back in your life, huh?” Malcolm asked. “That’s rough, man. You and she have quite a past together. Wasn’t she the one who dropped the love bomb on you?”
Eric cringed inside. His friend alwa
ys got straight to the point. As was the way of his people. Fairies tended to be exceedingly honest with their friends and family, to the point of pain. Malcolm was no exception.
The “love bomb” was the term the two of them had come up with during their more wild dating days. When a woman told them she loved them, they called it “dropping the love bomb”, and for good reason. Once that bomb was dropped, everything deteriorated from that point on. The relationship ended soon afterward. Neither man claimed to be interested in love. They both just wanted to enjoy female company from time to time. Considering their “special abilities” and the realities of their existences, both had little hope of finding something more with the women they dated.
But Sabrina had been different. She had tempted him, even if only for a relatively short period of time. She had made him think of rainbows and endless summer days. Spending time with her had given him false hope. Hope that maybe he could have a life with someone.
Luckily, he had come to his senses. And the fact that Sabrina had never fully opened herself to him is probably what had done that for him. He had finally realized that there was no way in hell he was going to be able to have a life with a mortal woman. Especially a woman who didn’t trust him. That path led in only one direction—pain. He didn’t want to get involved with someone, care for them, love them, only to lose them. He had played that game before and it had ended badly, very badly. He didn’t want a rerun of that movie ever again.
The minute those words, “I love you”, passed between Sabrina’s lips he’d known what he had to do. He’d known she had said them out of desperation, but he hadn’t been about to stay around while she called them back. And she would have. If she continued in the way she had since they had met, she would have crawled back into her shell and closed him out. So he had decided that he would close her out first. He’d needed to distance himself from her. He’d needed to end things with her. She would have had no life with a dragon slayer. When he wasn’t killing the creatures who had gone bad, he was putting his life in danger protecting those who needed him. His life was all about violence and death. He didn’t want that to become her reality. Sabrina deserved to be with someone who could give her rainbows and summer days. She didn’t need someone with the blood of many, both human and not, on his hands.
She would get over him quickly, he’d been sure of it. She was a beautiful woman. Finding another man to replace him wouldn’t be difficult for her. Sabrina would forget him in no time, meet a “normal” guy she could finally open up to, fully and completely, and settle down.
There was just one problem with that theory.
Eric hadn’t been able to forget her.
She had played in his mind every day for the months and years of their separation. He had tried to get her out of his head, tried replacing her with other females, but it hadn’t helped. He had fucked more women during their time apart then he’d care to remember, just trying to erase her memory. But no matter how good it had been, no matter how talented the ladies were, Sabrina stayed stuck in his brain.
Though they’d never had actual sex, the two of them had mind fucked. They had done that many times. Connecting on that mental level, through conversations and debates, had been exciting, stimulating and intense. They’d joined in a way he hadn’t experienced with anyone else in the past. And he had enjoyed it immensely. At a very basic level he’d understood that if they actually made love with the kind of bond they already had, it would blow his mind. And then he’d never been able to let her go.
So he had told her goodbye before it was too late.
“So what’s the plan? Vlad told me you’re bringing her here tonight to talk to him. What’s that all about?” Malcolm asked, interrupting his thoughts.
“Sabrina is going to try to convince Vlad that she needs someone else to guard her. She’s going to explain how we just don’t get along.”
“I’ll do it,” Malcolm offered casually.
“What?” Eric asked irritably. “What are you talking about?”
“I’ll guard her. She sounds damn hot from everything you’ve told me, and if you’re not interested, I might as well take advantage of the situation. You don’t have a problem with that, do you?” Malcolm asked. “You already said you don’t want anything to do with her, so she’s up for grabs, right?”
Malcolm didn’t even see it coming. Eric grabbed his collar and pinned him to the wall.
Sticking his face in his friend’s, Eric didn’t mince words. “Don’t even think about it. You’ll have to go through me first. And if you ever touch her, you’re dead, fairy boy. Remember, I know how to kill more than just dragons.”
Malcolm lifted his hands in surrender.
“No harm, Eric. I didn’t know you felt so strongly about this chick. I won’t go anywhere near her.”
Eric didn’t release him right away. The fury he was feeling was hard to get a handle on. The thought of his friend touching Sabrina made him see red.
Malcolm’s eyes narrowed and his face grew hard.
“You’re a good friend, dragon slayer. But if you don’t let go of me I’ll show you exactly what us fairy boys are capable of.”
Eric saw the deadly intent in his friend’s face. He didn’t want to make an enemy of Malcolm, they had too much history and good times between them. He released his collar and stepped back.
Malcolm straightened his clothing and met Eric’s gaze with his own challenging one.
“Are we cool on this?” Malcolm asked, holding out his hand.
“Yeah,” Eric said, shaking his friend’s hand. “Sorry about that. I didn’t realize I’d get so uptight about it.”
“No problem. I can’t say that I understand what you’re feeling, but I do respect it.”
Vlad walked into the office just as he and Malcolm released each other’s hands. The vampire looked back and forth between the two men.
“Is there a problem?” Vlad asked, frowning.
“No, no problem. We’re fine, right, Malcolm?” Eric asked his friend.
“Yeah, we’re cool,” Malcolm replied with a mocking grin. “Eric and I were just having a discussion about his new client. But since you’re here now, Vlad, I’m gone. I have my own demons to deal with. Later.”
“What was that all about?” Vlad asked, closing the door after Malcolm left.
Eric shrugged.
“Nothing much. I was just explaining what lengths I was willing to go to protect Sabrina.”
“And what lengths are those?”
“Whatever it takes to keep her safe, Vlad. Isn’t that what you pay me to do?”
Vlad didn’t say anything at first. He just stared at Eric in the way that vampires sometimes do. As if he were some insect being studied instead of a real person. Eric met Vlad’s eyes stare for stare. He had learned early on in life that fear was not something he could let control him. Just like so many other emotions, it had to be controlled. Besides, he knew Vlad. The guy was tough, but he was also fair as hell. Everyone at Sundown knew that. And that if you treated Vlad with respect, he treated you with the same.
“Just make sure no lines are crossed, Eric. This business is based on our good reputation. That can change in the blink of an eye by a bad decision. Are we clear on this?”
“Crystal,” Eric said with a curt nod. “I’d love to stay and continue with this heart-to-heart, but I need to pick Sabrina up. You know she’s going to demand that you have another specialist guard her, right?
Vlad nodded his head. “Yes. Is there any reason I should seriously consider her request?”
Eric’s eyes hardened and glinted with determination. “No one will protect her as well as me.”
“Agreed. That’s why I picked you to handle it. I’ll be doing some work in my office. Let me know when you arrive back with Ms. Reyes.”
Eric thought about Vlad’s words as he drove to the university. Last night had not been a good example of him controlling his emotions or much else. Things could have gotten way o
ut of hand if Sabrina hadn’t given them both a wake-up call. Last night would not be repeated. He would protect his gatita as long as he was needed, then he would get out of her life, this time for keeps. Nothing good could come from their continued association.
He couldn’t give her what she wanted and deserved.
It would have to be business. And business only.
That fact was hard to remember as Eric walked into Sabrina’s office. She was sitting at her desk, full attention on a paper in front of her. Her hair was up, but tendrils that must have escaped during the day hugged her neck, drawing his eyes there again and again. The graceful curve of it called to him. He wanted to kiss the ticklish spot on the side that had always given her goose bumps on her arms and left her giggling like a schoolgirl. Then he wanted to kiss the hollow at the base of her throat. He longed to dip his tongue in it then trace a trail up to her stubborn chin and on to her full lips. He’d devour those lush lips like the feast they were. His body hardened as he remembered how good her mouth had felt against his last night.
Though he hadn’t made a noise, Sabrina must have sensed his perusal. She stiffened slightly and her gaze flashed up to meet his. Her beautiful doe eyes looked startled and her mouth parted in a small gasp.
“Oh I, um, I didn’t hear you come in. How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough.”
Sabrina wasn’t ready for this. She had tried to gear for up for their meeting all day, but it hadn’t helped. Even her pep talk at lunch with Ruben hadn’t done any good. Eric had a way of getting under her skin and staying there. Somehow, some way, she had to get him out. But as she looked into his incredible golden eyes, she couldn’t even imagine where to begin.
All she could think about was the heat in Eric’s gaze and the deepness in his voice. She remembered how low and husky his voice got when they touched. The sound of it rubbed roughly against her, leaving her itchy and restless. She felt that now, as he spoke to her with that bedroom voice.
