by Gia Riley
Letty’s everything I’m not—gorgeous, confident, the life of the party.
Before I make a fool of myself, I need a breather.
He has Letty hanging on every word, and I should be in there breaking it up. But I can’t. I let her steal Dylan right out from under me because I can’t breathe and she can. I need to run and she doesn’t.
Dylan doesn’t notice me leave, and the front porch becomes my haven, even if I am all alone.
Why can’t I be normal?
As I finish the third mudslide, our neighbor pulls up and parks across the street. I’d guess he’s the same age as we are, average height, blond hair, and green eyes. Most girls would say he’s hot, but he’s just a neighbor who waves in passing.
Only today he doesn’t wave. He crosses the street and sits down next to me, making my heart race. I wasn’t prepared for a conversation. I don’t have it in me to think of responses that won’t make me look like a fool.
“You’re Zoe, right?” he asks in his deep baritone voice. Sexy.
“Yep,” I squeak out.
Laughing, he says, “Why are you nervous?” His smile would make my knees weak if I was standing. Since I’m not, my kneecaps just tingle. “I’m Kyler.”
“I’m always nervous these days. I wouldn’t take it personally.”
He glances at my empty bottle before digging into his grocery bag and pulling out a six-pack of beer. “Looks like we have something in common tonight.”
“Are you drinking for courage or to forget?” I ask him.
“Fun?” he says like he’s surprised that’s not an option. “What about you?”
I’ve never really drank for fun. Tonight it was all about courage. After seeing Letty, any possibility of that flew right out the window. “Survival,” I admit.
Kyler looks over his shoulder as laughter floats through the window pane. “Ah, I take it you’re not having a good time. Trouble in paradise?”
“It’s complicated,” I tell him.
“What is? You and your boyfriend?”
“I’m single. Dylan’s my roommate.”
He seems surprised but doesn’t say another word about it. He’s distracted by the car that pulls up behind his. An equally attractive male climbs out from behind the wheel.
Kyler’s smile widens the closer he gets. I’m about to ask how they know each other when their lips meet in the middle. “Guess that answers that question.”
They both laugh as their kiss ends. “Sorry, you know how it is when you’re in love,” Kyler says as he stares into his boyfriend’s eyes. I get the chills—actual goose bumps up and down my arms. “Zoe, this is Price. Price, my new friend, Zoe.”
I shake Price’s hand, wondering what it’s like to never question the person you care about. Or worry about girls like Letty getting in the way.
Would it be like that with Dylan?
Or would it remain confusing and frustrating?
“I’ve never been in love like that,” I blurt out, still in awe of their public display of affection.
“Never?” Price asks.
Most girls my age have had at least one heartbreak. I should probably be thankful. I’ve seen Keely go through enough breakups to keep the tissue business thriving. All that crying over some guy never appealed to me.
Until now.
I’d sob like a baby if Dylan and Letty ended up together.
“I’ve never had a boyfriend.”
“Talk, Zoe,” Kyler says as Price sits down in front of him.
I take a breath so deep my ribs ache. “Other than a crush in second grade, I’ve never had a real boyfriend. Recently, my sister had this crazy idea. The plan was no-strings-attached sex and lots of random dating. Only the sex was awkward, feelings got involved, and the dating app was a joke.”
Price reaches into Kyler’s grocery bag and pulls out two beers, one for him and one for Kyler. He offers me one, but I shake my head. My insides are already swimming.
“Who’d you do it with?” Kyler asks.
I already told him Dylan and I aren’t involved, even if he’s the guy I slept with once and kissed a couple of times. That makes my response risky, but I tell him the truth anyway. “My roommate.”
“Okay, so this roommate, what’s he like?” Price asks.
I turn around and watch Dylan laugh. Letty’s still inches away from his lap, and her chin’s resting on his shoulder. They’re looking at something on his phone. It stings.
“He’s my best friend.”
“The guy with the girl?” Price asks as he peeks inside.
“That’s him.” I don’t need another look. One was enough.
“You’re in love with him,” Kyler says without a shadow of a doubt. I didn’t think it was that obvious considering I haven’t come to terms with these new feelings.
Each day, the butterflies make it harder to concentrate and harder to look at Dylan without wanting more of him. And then he says sweet things or kisses me, and I realize there’s only one direction to go, toward him.
Running was never an option.
I don’t want to lose my best friend, and I don’t want him to give up on us, either.
“What is it, Zoe?” Price asks when I zone out. “What’s keeping you from him?”
“I care about Dylan. He means a lot. But I’m worried the second we become an official couple, everything will change. Titles and labels cause trouble because they leave room for breakups. If you never make it official, you can’t break up. It won’t end.”
I’ve had trouble admitting the truth, but it helps that Kyler and Price aren’t invested in either one of us. There’s no side to choose or outside influences to sway their opinion, they simply don’t have one. They have no idea how we operate when it’s just the two of us.
Kyler asks the million dollar question, “What if he’s the one?”
With a deep breath, I give them the honest-to-god truth. “We’ve been friends so long, I don’t remember a time he wasn’t in my life. If we crash and burn, all of our memories will disappear. It’ll be like our friendship never existed and I’ll be expected to move on with my life without him.”
Price smiles. It’s kind of an annoying time to smile, and I hate how wise these two boys are. But when he says, “That’s the best answer you could have given us,” I smile just as wide.
“How so? It makes me want to throw up.”
“Vulnerable is the only way to love, Zoe. If you’re not all in, don’t even bother.”
All in? Am I all in? That would mean I’m okay with the possibility of losing Dylan. And that will never be the case. “I never said I was all in.”
“Yes, you did.”
What does he mean? And why is he still smirking at me? I’m petrified. Nothing about the way I feel radiates comfort and stability, the two things I need most in my life. “Does being scared mean I’m all in?”
Price nods. “You’re terrified Dylan could be the one. That means you’re already invested, and that’s why it’ll work.”
I swallow, blinking slowly. He’s right. He’s one hundred percent right. Dylan is the one. There will never be someone else who makes me feel as safe as he does. “If the universe could guarantee we wouldn’t lose each other forever, it’d be easier to take a leap of faith.”
“A guarantee doesn’t require much faith, Zoe.”
He’s right, I know he is. My hands are shaking and the butterflies have burrowed so deep in my stomach, I might heave all over the porch.
I’m in love with Dylan.
Maybe I always have been.
“I think I can do this,” I tell them.
“Fall and let Dylan catch you,” Kyler tells me. “Because if he loves you, he will.”
“You’re forgetting one little problem, Kyler.”
“What’s that?”
I point at the window. “Her. I can’t make things happen if she’s in the way.”
Price rubs his hands together. “I’m positive we can get Dylan away fro
m that girl in less than five minutes.”
“Seriously? How?”
“Competition.”
If I was a sane girl, I’d leave with my dignity and pride intact. I’d pull Dylan off the couch and take him to my room where I’d ask him to be my boyfriend. I might even tell him I love him. Since I’ve never claimed to be sane, though bright, I go with whatever plan Price is cooking up. Pointing to the beer, I tell them, “I’ll need a lot more courage if I ever plan on leaving this porch.”
Price stands and brushes the dirt off his jeans. “The good stuff’s in the car. I’ll be right back.”
“Grab some blankets, too. It’s freezing.”
Dylan
When the front door opens, I expect Zoe to walk through on her own two feet. Not on our neighbor’s back.
Zoe’s arms are around Kyler’s neck and she laughs like she’s enjoying his playfulness. I didn’t know they even knew each other, but she’s damn comfortable with Kyler holding her, and it makes my skin crawl. I have to shove my phone in my pocket so I don’t chuck it at his head.
Tonight was supposed to be about us—a first step in showing the rest of the world we’re ready to do the whole relationship thing. But instead of joining me on the couch, she walked right out the front door.
I shouldn’t have cared, but I did—I do. Just once, I wanted a gorgeous girl to walk into a room with her eyes focused solely on mine. She’d sit down beside me and let me wrap my arm around her. She’d stay tucked against me where she’s safe and warm and everyone would see how amazing she was. Their jealousy would eat away at them because they’d wish they had a relationship as great as ours.
That’s not how tonight has gone.
Letty showing up was out of my control, and I admit I shouldn’t have been paying her so much attention. She was excited to be here though, and with it being my house, I couldn’t ignore her. That’s not the person I am.
Regardless, she isn’t the girl I want to be sitting beside tonight. The girl I want spent the majority of the night out on the porch, for reasons I don’t understand.
With the way she was eyeing Letty, looking like her blood was ready to boil, I thought for sure Zoe was ready to stake her claim. That didn’t happen either. Now the roles are reversed and I’m the one who’s about to lose my shit because some other guy has his hands all over Zoe’s body.
I need to kick his ass out of the house, but what if Zoe doesn’t want him to leave?
What if he’s what she wants?
What if she’s already chosen him over me because he’s the easier choice. There’s no history to worry about. They can start fresh without memories holding them back.
I’d have my answer, not the one I was hoping for, but it’d be an answer nonetheless.
Kyler carries her into the kitchen and the last time I heard one of her high pitched squeals she was in my arms and in my bed.
“Dylan.” Letty latches onto my arm like a leech. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ll be back.” I never once led Letty on, but I haven’t told her to leave me alone, either. She’s Trevor’s neighbor—I can’t be a dick.
“Where are you going?”
“I have to make sure Zoe’s okay.”
Letty reaches for my hand and though I try to shrug it off, she won’t let go. When she pulls me closer, the alcohol on her breath is a lot stronger than it was a half hour ago. “She’s old enough to take care of herself. If she wants to take that guy to her room, let her.”
Life would be so much easier if I wanted Letty instead of Zoe. If I could accept Letty’s flirtation and be turned on by it. But I’m not. And I can’t. Zoe’s always been my first choice and now that Letty’s put the visual of Kyler and Zoe screwing into my head, I can’t seem to pry Letty’s hand out of mine fast enough.
Trevor gives me a look, and I give him one back. “Take care of Letty,” I tell him. “Keep her out of the kitchen.” The last thing I need is her following me and causing a scene.
He nods and takes my spot on the couch where Letty is pouting like a child. She rests her head on Trevor’s shoulder and he runs his fingers through her hair. For a second I wonder if she’s his Zoe. If she is, he better prepare for one hell of a ride. It doesn’t get any easier.
As soon as I walk in the kitchen, I wish I hadn’t. Kyler has Zoe sitting on the kitchen counter and he’s standing between her legs. One pant leg is pulled up to her knee, and he’s dabbing a wet paper towel against her shin. He’s taking care of her the way I would, and I don’t like him invading my territory.
“Are you okay, Zo?” I ask her.
She tries with all her might to press a button on the watch she’s holding. When she gets it, she turns it around and shows Kyler. “We did so good.”
“Three minutes and twenty-one seconds. Told you,” Kyler says.
I glance back and forth between the two, confused by their secret conversation. “What’s going on?”
Zoe blinks and throws me a bone. “I fell on the porch,” she giggle-slurs.
I step closer and see the cut she knocked open. “Is it hurting you? She fell in her room earlier today, but you wouldn’t know anything about that, Kyler. Would you?”
Kyler glances over his shoulder and smirks. He fuckin’ smirks at me and I’d love nothing more than to punch the grin right off his face. If he stands in my kitchen, touching my girl much longer, I just might.
“I’m fine,” Zoe tells me. “Can’t feel a thing.”
“It’s freezing outside, you’re numb.”
“Na, I’m hot,” she insists. She makes a sizzling noise that sends her into a fit of hysterics. I’ve never seen her this drunk before. She likes control too much to get this far gone.
“Why are you so hot?”
“Cause I drank the gas.”
“What’d you drink, Zoe?” If I find out Kyler slipped her something, he’s dead. Right here, I will kill him with my bare hands.
She giggles, an actual over-the-top girlie giggle that’s never once come out of her mouth before today. “Not the car kind. The bottle.”
“I assume you mean alcohol. Where’d you get it?”
“Kyler likes beer, but Price had whiskey in his trunk. It’s horrible.”
“Who the hell is Price?” I’m raising my voice like an asshole and I don’t even care.
Kyler’s probably a nice guy. At least he seemed to be the few times we’ve run into each other. But Zoe’s not his. She may be wasted, but she’s still not available.
“You’re all set, buttercup. Need a lift to your room?”
“Buttercup?” I mutter under my breath. “How original.”
Zoe giggles again as Kyler turns back around. Like they’ve done this dance a hundred times before, she attaches her arms around his neck and hops on his back.
They’re heading toward her bedroom before I can get the words out to stop them. The door closes, the same one I had to bust through earlier, and I turn into a crazed lunatic.
This time, I don’t care what she’s doing on the other side of the door. I don’t care if she’s only half dressed. And I could give two shits if I’m invading her privacy. All I care about is getting Kyler away from Zoe.
I’m through the door and in Kyler’s face, pushing him against the closet door I fixed a couple hours ago.
“I think it’s time for you to go,” I tell him.
He holds his hands up, backing away. “Calm down, Dylan. Everything’s cool.”
Glancing at Zoe, I realize something’s wrong now that her smile’s gone. She’s no longer laughing, and she doesn’t seem to want whatever was about to happen.
The red I was seeing a few minutes ago has become the deepest shade of burgundy. I get in Kyler’s face, giving him one chance and one chance only to tell me the truth. “What’d you do to her?”
“Nothing,” he tells me, unconvincingly. “This was all a game.”
“Don’t lie, Kyler. That girl has only been with me. If you so much as touched her with y
our pinky, I’ll know. And when I find out all the details, I’ll come across the street and strangle you in your sleep.”
Zoe stands up and moves in between the two of us. Her body sways from side to side as her eyes try their damndest to focus on mine. “Stop, Dylan. He’s my friend. We were just playin’ with you. Don’t go mad.”
“What are you talking about?” Is this some kind of joke?
Kyler helps Zoe sit on the edge of the bed before spotting the broken bedpost and laughing. I take it they covered that topic during their drink-fest on the porch. “You weren’t kidding about the bed.”
“Kyler, I never ever joke about my bed.”
Zoe doesn’t realize it because of the alcohol, but her comment’s laced with so much sex appeal, she’s sending the wrong message to Kyler.
“Zoe, I think it’s time your friend left.”
“Right,” she says. “He’s a good guy, Dylan. Don’t be mad. I got jealous. I had big plans to make you feel the same way, but I bumped my leg on the stairs and it never happened.”
“Oh, I’m positive it’s happening, Zo. I think it’s time to call it a night. You got your revenge.”
“Is Letty going home, too?” she asks with her arms crossed over her perfect chest.
Kyler stands by her side, rubbing her back like the supportive chump he is. Why does he have to keep touching her?
I run both my hands over my face, hoping that I don’t lose it before we finish this conversation. “I don’t want Letty. I want you, Zoe. How many times do I have to say it before you’ll believe me?”
She flinches, but she’s still being stubborn. But shit, angry Zoe is so damn sexy. “But I saw you through the window. It looked like you wanted her, Dylan.”
Before we continue, Kyler steps in front of Zoe and hugs her. “I’m gonna let you talk it out with Dylan. You have my number if you need anything. Or come across the street and knock on the door.”
“That’s right, we’re neighbors.”
He chuckles. “We are, but call instead. You’re a little too tipsy to be near traffic.”
Zoe nods and the urge to yank each one of his pearly white teeth out of his mouth is strong. As usual, I have to be the bigger person, even when he doesn’t deserve it.
