by Kim Lawrence
‘I think we’ll just have to play the arty card. Genius is the dispensation for a lot of things, including not shaving…but then I’m sure you already know that.’
Josh placed his unhappy son on the soft sand. He lifted a hand to his square jaw. ‘Actually I did shave; by mid-afternoon it’s always back.’
‘I’d noticed.’ Her stomach muscles did a quick butterfly hiccough as she recalled the abrasive quality of his skin against her own when he’d kissed her.
‘Perhaps I should grow a beard…?’ he suggested innocently.
Her eyes widened in mock alarm. ‘Perhaps you shouldn’t, not if you want to carry on being seen with me,’ she responded firmly. A girl had to draw the line somewhere.
‘So shallow,’ he sighed.
‘I’m just not crazy about unrestrained facial hair. How would you feel if I stopped waxing my legs?’
‘Severely lacerated?’ he speculated.
‘You’re hilarious!’ She was pretty sure he was disputing the point out of sheer bloody-minded cussedness; fortunately Liam distracted him before the argument got even more silly.
‘Swim!’ the child insisted loudly. His soft baby chin developed a distinctive stubborn tilt as he glared disapprovingly at his father.
‘Not now, Liam.’
‘Swim…swim!’ Lying down on the sand, he began to drum his heels in time with his escalating demands.
Ignoring the synchronised display with the air of a man who’d seen it all before, Josh scooped up the rigid child and strode back towards the four-wheel drive that was parked on a gravel area just above the banks of long spiky grass that fringed the beach.
‘Ordering groceries on the net is a godsend when your kid is going through the tantrum stage. Mind you, I’m assuming it’s a stage. Occasionally I have this vision of a strapping fifteen-year-old lying down on the floor and screaming until he’s blue in the face when I tell him to do his homework.’
‘Heavens, no,’ she soothed, ‘teenagers have much more effective ways of punishing cruel parents.’
‘I can hardly wait! What a little ray of comfort you are, Flora,’ he breathed drily.
He placed Liam in the back seat before sliding in himself.
‘Could you get the spare change of clothes from the back?’
Between the two of them they managed to strip the wet clothes off the unco-operative, already chilled child and replace them with a dry warm set.
‘Pity I didn’t think to pack a spare set for myself.’
‘Great pity,’ she agreed, letting her limpid blue gaze rest on his distracted face. ‘I wouldn’t mind undressing you in the back seat.’
Josh abruptly stopped what he was doing. ‘I can’t say the idea doesn’t interest me.’ The pair of sodden dungarees in his hand dripped unnoticed onto the leather upholstery as he allowed himself to match a mental image to her words.
‘Lucky for you it does,’ she retorted bluntly, ‘or I’d be out this door.’
‘Only if I let you go,’ he rasped, his eyes darkening as they came to rest on her face.
This confident announcement made her pulses quicken. Flora swallowed past the sudden constriction in her throat. She still couldn’t get her head around the swiftness with which they could be transported in a heartbeat from a relatively calm, companionable atmosphere into a sexually charged maelstrom that left her panting—quite literally panting, as it happened just now! She made a conscious effort to still the agitated rise and fall of her tingling bosom.
‘How do you think you’d stop me?’
‘Oh, I reckon I’d think of something.’
She snorted without conviction and dragged her eyes from his smouldering scrutiny. ‘Shouldn’t we get Liam back? It’s getting late.’
‘Coward,’ Josh taunted gently, but his glance followed her affectionate scrutiny in the direction of the rosy-cheeked and now sleepily placid toddler in his arms.
As Flora watched Liam’s head flopped sleepily onto his father’s chest. Stubbornly he jerked upright once more.
‘He can hardly keep his eyes open.’
‘But he’ll try,’ Josh predicted, strapping his son into a child restraint. ‘He’s as obstinate as a mule. Sometimes the only way I could get him to sleep when he was tiny was popping him into the car and driving around until he went off.’ He gave a shudder.
‘I can’t imagine where he gets that from…’ Genetics had a lot to answer for. The thought pushed home hard the nagging knowledge that she’d never have the opportunity to see what their combined genes might produce. She tried to ignore the bleak little cloud that settled around her heart. Determined not to allow anything to spoil what had been a perfect day, she vowed to concentrate on what she did have, not what she didn’t!
‘Is this brother of yours stubborn too?’ Flora wondered curiously as they both climbed into the front seat, leaving Liam to fight sleep behind them.
‘Jake…? Depends on who you ask. When he and Nia fight the sparks really fly.’
‘But they have a good relationship…?’ she wondered with a frown. ‘I mean, they’re happy?’
‘Are your eyes blue?’ he responded drily. ‘I’ve been thinking I’ve outstayed my welcome with Jake’s in-laws…’ The expectant silence lengthened as did Flora’s tension.
It wasn’t so much what he’d said but the way he’d said it that convinced her he was leading up to something. It’s been nice knowing you, but…? She gave a tiny angry shake of her head. When did I get so damned insecure? she wondered. Being in love was like a white-knuckle ride and she’d never been able to see the attraction of deliberately exposing yourself to that sort of gut-grabbing fear.
‘It doesn’t seem that way to me,’ she retorted lightly. ‘They seem to treat you like a favourite son.’ Continued speculation about what was coming next made her feel deeply uneasy.
She knew that inevitably they’d both have to return to their proper lives—understanding partners aside, her own sabbatical couldn’t be extended indefinitely. In some ways what they had together had more in common with a holiday romance. Would they find their lifestyles were totally incompatible back in the real world? Was he already having second thoughts? She tried to let the tension seep away, but her spine remained stubbornly rigid as she waited for him to speak.
‘That’s on account of me being Jake’s brother and since he—with a bit of help from Nia—has turned them into grandparents he can do no wrong.’
‘I think it’s possible they like you, for some inexplicable reason, for being you,’ she snapped, irritated by his false modesty, and worried—despite a brisk internal pep talk—about where this was all leading.
‘Like you do?’
‘No,’ she denied, shaking her head vehemently. ‘Not at all like I do!’
Josh thought about that as he pulled the car to one side to enable a wide farm truck to pass. He shot a swift searching sideways glance towards her clear-cut profile as he pulled out of a passing place on the narrow single track road he was negotiating.
‘Meaning you don’t like me…?’
As if he didn’t know…! Cheeks flushed, she threw him an exasperated, hot-cheeked glare. ‘I think we’ve established I like you far too much for my own good—when, that is, I don’t want to strangle you!’
Josh’s smug expression suggested he was well satisfied by her murderous intent. ‘I’ve decided to put my cottage—the one Liam and I live in—on the market,’ he announced abruptly.
‘Oh!’ This was the last thing she’d been expecting.
‘When Bridie and I bought it we hadn’t the faintest idea how much space kids need.’ Practicality had actually played no part during the heart-searching that had gone into this symbolic gesture.
Flora hadn’t missed the symbolism. ‘The place must hold a lot of memories…’
He didn’t bother denying her quiet observation. ‘Good and bad. I’ve known it was time to move on for some time now but it never seemed to be the right moment.’
Fl
ora wondered if wishful thinking was guiding her hand as she excitedly filled in the blanks left by his amazing announcement—sometimes her optimism got out of hand. ‘But it is now?’ she prompted carefully.
‘I’ll never forget Bridie, but I know now that I’m not rejecting her and what we had by getting on with my life. I think the time has come to look towards the future. Hell, I can’t believe I just said anything so amazingly trite!’
‘If it’s any comfort, I can’t believe I’m crying over something so amazingly trite.’ She sniffed gruffly. Failing to discover a tissue on her person, she rubbed the back of her hand across her damp face.
‘What I’m trying to say is, I’d like you to be part of that future.’
‘With the proviso I don’t break the rules and start getting broody.’ She shot a sneaky glance in Josh’s direction. He was looking pretty remote all of a sudden—and I’m surprised…! Why the hell did I have to go wreck the moment?
‘I’m sorry, Flora, but that’s the way I feel.’
It wasn’t as if she wanted a baby this precise second, it just made no sense to her to rule out the possibility so totally. His intransigence made her want to scream, stamp her feet and do all manner of immature emotional things, but she didn’t.
‘Just checking.’
‘I’ve been doing some checking myself on houses. Perhaps at some point in the future when you’re comfortable with the idea…’
‘Josh, are you asking me to move in with you?’
‘No…at least, not immediately. You have to appreciate that I come as a package deal…’
Flora twisted around in her seat and smiled softly at the sleeping figure of the other half of the package. ‘That hadn’t escaped my notice.’
‘I think that’s something you should think about very carefully.’
‘What is it with you?’ she demanded hotly. ‘You say something nice and in the next breath you try and snatch it back. I’m falling in love with you, Flora, but if you want babies look for another man. Move in with me, Flora, but you lack the maturity to accept my child!’ Her impassioned voice stilled, but only long enough for her to catch her breath. ‘It’s as if you’re looking for some reason why this won’t work,’ she accused, finding there was a definite pattern to his behaviour.
‘Maybe,’ he suggested heavily, ‘I don’t think I’m good enough for you.’
‘Pooh!’ she mocked. ‘Humble really doesn’t suit you—you’re arrogant down to your little cotton socks. You’re well aware of your own worth on the open market.’
‘It does a man’s ego no end of good to be discussed like a piece of meat.’
‘Don’t go all politically correct and prissy on me, Josh, you know exactly what I mean. Talk about mixed signals!’ she grumbled. ‘Small wonder I’m confused. Let’s get this straight—do you actually love me and do you want me to live with you?’
‘Wow! I bet you have the opposing counsel trembling when they have to come up against you in court!’
‘Don’t try and sweet-talk me, Josh.’
‘Fine!’ he flung in a goaded voice. ‘Yes, on both counts. Suddenly you don’t seem to have so much to say for yourself.’
‘Yes, on both counts,’ she breathed shakily. ‘Will that do?’
‘It’ll do just fine.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘I DON’T know exactly where you’ll find him, Flora, but I think he said he was heading towards the lake. If you take the footpath through the woods it takes you right up to the west side of the lake, but you’ll need a coat.’
Megan Jones touched Flora’s arm and felt the coolness of her firm young skin through the thin cotton shirt she wore. ‘Have you walked over here like this?’ she exclaimed disapprovingly. ‘You’ll catch your death,’ she admonished. ‘Come along through to the fire,’ she urged the young woman who just stared back at her blankly, but did as she was bid.
‘There, take a seat by the fire.’ She wondered worriedly where the animated creature Josh had described to her had gone. ‘I offered to keep an eye on Liam for an hour or two,’ she explained as Flora sat down in the chintzy over-stuffed armchair. Megan’s motherly eyes crinkled with pleasure as she smiled towards the small figure seated at the low table, his expression intense as he drew a childish scrawl with his jumbo-sized crayon in a dog-eared colouring book.
The child looked up and smiled his crooked little smile of spontaneous pleasure when he saw Flora. The uncanny similarity to his father smote her to the heart.
‘He’s a good boy, aren’t you, cariad?’ Megan clucked warmly. She looked to Flora for confirmation of this and her smile faded. The girl didn’t turn her head quickly enough to hide the sparkle of tears. ‘Is something wrong, my dear?’
Flora bit her lip. ‘Please don’t be nice to me,’ she begged shakily, ‘or I’ll start blubbing.’
‘Do you want to talk about it?’
Flora shook her head. ‘Did you know Liam’s mother?’ she asked suddenly. The toddler had come over to solemnly give her a page he’d carefully ripped from his colouring pad. ‘Thank you, darling,’ she responded gruffly, kissing the top of his dark curly head.
‘No, I didn’t know her. Nia didn’t meet Jake until several months after she’d died…tragic…’ She gave a sigh. ‘But life goes on,’ she pointed out briskly. ‘I don’t think you have any need to worry about ghosts, my dear. I’ve never seen Josh look so happy, not that he’s ever been one to go about with a gloomy face.’
Not worry about ghosts! Considering the anonymous much-read letter crammed at that moment into her pocket, the irony of that comment brought an hysterical bubble of laughter to her aching throat.
‘I think I’d better go,’ she rasped huskily.
With concern Megan searched the young woman’s pale face before reluctantly nodding. ‘If you say so.’ She sighed. ‘But if you’re following Josh up to the lake you’ll need something warm.’
Follow…it made her sound like some meek, mild little helpmate. Does everyone who’s seen us together assume I’ll follow Josh wherever he goes? Flora wondered angrily as she slid her arms into the overlong sleeves of a fleece-lined cagoule. It was time to disillusion the world in general and Josh in particular!
Josh lay down his sketch-pad as he saw Flora’s slim figure approaching. The welcoming smile faded from his lips as she got closer and he was able to appreciate that he’d never actually seen her angry before—not properly angry. He was seeing it now, though—oh, boy, was he seeing it! Warily he watched as her briskly swinging arms punched the air energetically as her long, shapely legs swept her closer.
If she’d been walking across hot coals he seriously doubted she’d have registered it. He automatically rose to his feet and brushed the dust from the dry stone wall off his trousers. Wouldn’t Mum be pleased if she knew her early lectures about old-fashioned courtesy had made a lasting impact on her sons? That icy fist that had grabbed his guts suggested to him it was going to take more than nice manners to get him out of this one.
Flora came to a halt just in front of him. She was burdened by the awful things in the letter, but seeing him still did the same things to her it always had done. It couldn’t all be a lie…could it?
‘Well, is it true?’ The trembling hand she thrust aggressively under his nose held the crumbled sheets of a letter she’d received that morning. A few scraps of paper remained in her tightly clenched fingers when he took the letter from her. ‘Was your wife my dad’s patient?’ she asked woodenly. ‘Did you follow me from London?’
Josh’s eyes flickered across her face briefly before his eyes returned to the typed sheets of paper in his hands.
It was the all important response she’d been watching for. That look said it all. At that moment the tiny flicker of hope inside her died. She’d known it made no sense for anyone to make up lies like the allegations in the anonymous letter. Despite this, part of her still hadn’t believed it wasn’t true—not until now. All the way over to confront him she’d kept tel
ling herself over and over again that she’d have known if he was pretending.
‘I see.’ Actually she didn’t see how anyone could be so calculatingly cruel. ‘You just forgot to mention it.’
Eyes filled with pain, she watched Josh skim over the contents; his dark, lean features were drawn tight across his impossibly perfect bones. Angry, yes, he was angry, but not because he was reading meddlesome malice, he was angry because it was true and she’d found out before he wanted her to—when, she wondered bleakly, had he planned the finale?
‘I didn’t want to hurt you, Flora.’ He lifted his dark head, his expression was sombre and his eyes shone with passionate sincerity.
The sincerity really got to her, she’d had enough of his so-called sincerity to last a lifetime—probably longer!
‘I thought that was exactly what you wanted to do!’ she sneered scornfully. ‘Oh, I appreciate my feelings were almost incidental to your plan, it was Dad you wanted to get at through me. How inconsiderate of him to die and rob you of your ultimate revenge!’ She bit back a sob and flinched back, her expression registering loathing, as he reached out for her. Had he opened the champagne to celebrate whilst she’d been weeping at her father’s funeral? ‘I suppose you’re selling your story to the tabloids in order to spare me pain.’
Gritting his teeth, Josh lowered his rejected hand awkwardly. ‘I’m not selling anything!’ Actually he’d sell his soul to banish the hurt in her eyes. ‘You can’t actually believe I’d do that.’
‘Don’t you think it’s a bit late to play the integrity card?’ she asked him bitterly.
‘Do you really think I’m the sort of man who’d deliberately court that sort of notoriety?’
‘So maybe that part isn’t true!’ she conceded carelessly. ‘If only a fraction of the stuff in that letter is half true it’s enough to condemn you.’
‘Why stop with condemnation?’ The revulsion in her eyes cut him like a knife. ‘Why not have a bash at sentencing too…?’ Her eyes suggested life wouldn’t be long enough to satisfy her sense of outrage.
