“Thanks, but I don’t feel particularly professional in this getup, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to hit the showers.” She started toward the bathroom.
Kendra and Trevor stepped aside, but the hall wasn’t very wide. Trevor’s masculine scent teased her as she passed by.
His breath hitched, as if he was equally aware of her. “Do you need me to show you how the shower works?”
“I can probably figure it out.” She ducked into the bathroom, closed the door and leaned against it, heart thumping. Wowza.
She had no experience with wild sexual urges. Edward had been a friend for a long time before he became her lover. The transition had been gradual, almost inevitable. No uncertainty or awkwardness. No rush. Definitely no wildness.
Even her most passionate moments with Edward hadn’t made her breathless and dizzy. She was both of those things as she pressed her back against the door and closed her eyes. The image of Trevor shirtless wouldn’t go away.
She’d never separated love and sex before, never had to. She’d loved the only man she’d ever had sex with. Honesty forced her to admit that she wanted to have sex with Trevor even though she didn’t love him.
She liked him. She liked him quite a bit. He was kind, thoughtful and brave enough to face a raging fire. He’d helped save her horses and her house. And he’d inspired a massive case of lust.
Could she have sex without love? The idea didn’t sit right with her, so probably not. She’d have to resist temptation, even though it came packaged in the form of Trevor McGavin.
And speaking of packages….
Stop it! With a sigh, she stripped down and turned on the shower.
Chapter Six
Trevor was always grateful for his family, but never more than tonight. He was dangerously close to obsessing over Olivia and the rowdy gathering provided exactly the distraction he needed.
His mom had made stew, but everyone else arrived with food, and that helped, too. If he couldn’t satisfy one hunger, he’d satisfy another. The dinner table was loaded with choices and he intended to sample them all. He’d stuff himself until he was too full to care about sex.
Ryker and April brought a large dish of meatless lasagna that smelled delicious. Ryker, the guy who used to eat some form of beef nearly every night, had become quite a veggie lover. He wasn’t quite ready to label himself a vegetarian. Not yet, anyway.
Zane and Mandy contributed barbequed ribs and slaw, one of Trevor’s favorite combos. Cody and Faith had made fried chicken and a pot of beans. Faith fried the chicken extra crispy the way Trevor liked it. Aunt Jo had baked the biggest chocolate cake he’d ever seen.
Olivia, dressed in a pair of his mom’s jeans and a purple shirt, took the chair Trevor held for her. He might have to shelve any plans to pursue her, but he could sit next to her at dinner while he ate his way to oblivion.
She stared at the feast piled on the oversized dining table. “Wow. Do you always eat this way?”
“Not always.” Zane grinned at her from across the table. “Sometimes there’s more.”
Mandy gave him an elbow in the ribs. “Don’t tease her.”
“I’m not teasing. Sometimes there is more. Back me up, guys.”
“He’s right,” Trevor said. “We’re missing Bryce and Nicole. If they’d come, they would have brought food, too.”
“Okay,” Mandy said, “but still, this much food on the spur of the moment is unusual. I think we’re all grateful the fire wasn’t worse and nobody was hurt.” She gestured toward the loaded table. “This is how we show it.”
His mom tapped on her wine glass. “And I want to start things off by toasting my firefighting son. Here’s to Trevor.”
His face warmed as everyone lifted a bottle or a glass in his direction. “Thank you, but I was only—”
“Being a hero.” Beside him, Olivia raised her wine glass. “To Trevor McGavin, who saved my house and my horses.”
Everyone cheered and his brothers even stomped their boots under the table. It was embarrassing as hell, but nice, too. When the commotion died down, he raised his beer. “I have a toast. To Ryker, who spotted that fire from the air when it was still small. The chief told me to give you his thanks.”
Another cheer went up and this time it was Ryker’s turn to be embarrassed. “I was lucky,” he said, his voice gruff. “Any of you would have done the same.”
“Sure we would,” Cody said. “Assuming we had a pilot’s license, a plane and an eagle eye like you. Own your talents, big brother.”
“Thanks, Cody.” But the extra praise only made Ryker look more uncomfortable. “Hey, could we eat, now?”
“We sure can.” His mom had the stewpot on a trivet in front of her, along with a stack of bowls. “Who wants some of this?”
“Me, please!” Olivia spoke up so quickly that Trevor chuckled.
“Hungry?” He gave her an amused glance.
She met his gaze. “You have no idea.” Heat flared in her brown eyes.
For one electric moment, the world stopped. Then she looked away. The air left his lungs. Had he imagined that? Or did she want him as much as he wanted her?
The question plagued him throughout the evening. The jokes and laughter flew as always and he participated as best he could. But he kept coming back to that searing glance of hers. What did it mean?
He was in the kitchen fetching more beer for the table when Zane came in. Trevor handed him a couple of bottles. “Just in time to help me carry.”
“I’m here to serve.” Then he lowered his voice. “What’s up?”
No point in brushing him off. His brother knew him too well. He glanced toward the dining room. The jokes and laughter should give him enough cover. “I’m…interested in Olivia.”
“Tell me something I don’t already know.”
“But I can’t figure her out.”
Zane smiled. “That’s never happened to me. When it comes to women, I have all the answers.”
“Sure you do.” Trevor took out three more beers and set them on the counter while he went into the pantry for another six-pack.
“But you need to give me more to go on if you want my excellent advice.”
Trevor put the six-pack on the counter and faced him, keeping his voice low. “This morning she broke down because our crews destroyed the garden her husband planted. I took that to mean she still loves him and I’m SOL. Then tonight she gave me a look that would scorch the label off a beer bottle.”
“That’s easy. She still loves her late husband but she desperately wants to do you.”
“And how am I supposed to respond to that?”
“Depends on what you want.”
Trevor gazed at him. “That’s the big question, isn’t it?”
“Yep. Short-term gain or long-term reward.”
“I’ll have to think about it.”
“Figured you did.” Zane took the six-pack and opened the refrigerator. “Time to chill these puppies and get back to the party.” He shoved the carton in the nearest empty space and closed the door.
“Hang on a minute. When Mandy came back to town, which were you after?”
“Short-term gain. She had her fashion design career in New York so I didn’t think I had a chance for anything more. But…”
“But?”
“Deep down I had that long-term reward in mind. I just couldn’t admit it.”
“That’s a bullshit answer.”
“Not really. Sometimes you have to go for the short-term gain and see what happens.”
“You are so full of it.”
“She looks cute in Mom’s clothes. She’s not as stuffy as I thought.”
“You should have seen her in a nightgown.”
“Hot?”
“Oh, yeah.”
Zane nodded. “Your face has short-term gain written all over it right now.”
“Where’s the beer, losers?” Ryker bellowed in his drill sergeant voice.
“Sir!” Zane wi
nked at Trevor. “Coming immediately, sir!”
When Trevor walked in behind Zane, Olivia was laughing about something. Then he saw Cody balancing a spoon on his nose. Trevor had never seen her laugh like that, red-faced and gasping for breath. She had to take off her glasses and wipe her eyes.
He liked seeing her have fun, considering the trauma of losing her barn and nearly losing her house. What he wanted might not be all that important when stacked up against what Olivia needed. He wouldn’t presume to make that decision, but if he paid attention, she might tell him.
Everyone stayed late, lingering over coffee and Aunt Jo’s spectacular cake. Ryker built a fire to take away the slight chill and everyone gathered in the living room to enjoy it. Trevor absolutely would build a wood-burning fireplace in his home. People were drawn to it in an elemental way.
Midnight approached, and the leave-taking began. Trevor watched with a full heart, glad to be here. He belonged in Eagles Nest, where he could share a family dinner with the people he loved, where he knew the roads by heart and a good percentage of the townspeople.
He liked the certainty that he’d get a fair deal at George’s Garage and a hearty meal at the Eagles Nest Diner. Pills and Pop had a soda fountain. Not many places did anymore.
Olivia had chosen to live here. She could have left after Edward died, but she hadn’t. Instead she’d stuck it out, maintained the accounting business they’d started, and planted veggies and flowers.
He was determined that she’d plant again next spring, but first he had to get her over the shock of that first glimpse. He’d be there for that, thanks to the chief’s suggestion and a holiday weekend.
If humanly possible, he’d be there every damn time she needed him. She’d been put through the wringer and had survived. No surprise that he was drawn to her after being raised by a woman who’d made it through similar circumstances.
After everyone had left, Trevor made sure the kitchen was shipshape before he walked into the living room. His mom and Olivia were deep in conversation, so he said goodnight and left them to their discussion. Then he quickly finished up in the bathroom so Olivia could have it to herself.
Their rooms were next to each other, but early this morning, when he’d been exhausted from fighting the fire, he hadn’t cared. Tonight he was more rested. Tonight he cared.
Stripping off his shirt, he tossed it in the laundry hamper. He’d taken off his belt and started to unbutton his jeans when a soft knock at his door sent his pulse into overdrive.
His mom wouldn’t knock softly. She’d rap on his door with the authority automatically granted to a mother, especially one as bossy as his. That left only one other possibility.
Olivia stood outside his door.
He took a quick breath. “I’m finished in there. You can have it.”
“Thanks, but I…I wanted to talk with you.” She glanced at his bare chest and her cheeks turned pink. “If it’s okay.”
“Sure. Want to come in?” Bad idea, but it seemed like the polite thing to say.
“Um, all right.” She moved into the room with tentative steps and looked around. “You have bunk beds in here.”
“There are bunks in the other room, too. Cody’s the only one who got a double bed.”
“Because he was spoiled rotten.” She smiled.
“Exactly.”
“I had a bunk bed.” She wandered over to it. “Only mine was white. The idea was to invite my friends for sleepovers.”
“Did you?” He’d had trouble concentrating when they’d been alone in her pink-toned bedroom with the erotic painting over the bed. It was ten times worse here when he was already half undressed. Two steps and he’d be right beside her.
“Sure, I invited people, and we had fun, but I was always on edge, trying to figure out the dynamic. Edward was an only child, too. When we moved in together, we both admitted it was the first time we hadn’t felt alone.”
He didn’t want to hear that, but he needed to. “You must have had a close bond.”
“Very close. I miss him every day.”
“I’m sure.”
“But that isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about. Well, it is, in a way.” She pulled a section of her hair forward and combed her fingers through it in what was clearly a nervous gesture. Once again she stared at his naked chest and blushed.
“Hold on a minute.” Digging his shirt out of the hamper, he put it on and fastened the snaps. He left the shirttails hanging out. No need to be anal about it. “Is that better?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Her fascination with his pecs was flattering. If she suddenly stripped to the waist he’d have trouble carrying on a conversation, too.
Great. Now he had that image in his head. Not helpful.
She took a deep breath and met his gaze. “I decided honesty is the best policy, so here goes. I’m attracted to you.”
That was the good news. He figured the bad news was coming next. Might as well meet it head on. “But you wish you weren’t.”
“That’s right.” Her breathing was becoming uneven. “Although it’s exciting to feel this way.”
“Yes, it is.” She was giving him that look again, the same one from the dining table. Damn, she sure did get to him.
“But it’s…it’s only sex.” She gulped. “I’ll never love anyone but Edward.”
“Understood.”
“So having sex when I still love Edward isn’t fair to you.” She spoke the words quickly as if desperate to get them out.
“Let me be the judge of that.” If short-term gain was all he could have, he’d take it. His body heated at the prospect.
She stared at him. “You’d be fine having sex with me when you know I’m still in love with Edward?”
“At the risk of having you think less of me, yes, I would.”
She combed her fingers through her hair and looked away. “Well, I wouldn’t be okay with it.” Her tone softened. “I’ve never had sex without love.”
Wow. He blew out a breath to release some of the tension. “Are you saying that Edward was your only—”
“Neither of us had been with anyone.”
“I see.” And he was so screwed.
When she looked at him again her gaze was pleading. “I know I’ve been giving off mixed signals and I apologize for that. I’ve never dealt with lust before.”
Too bad it was such a serious discussion because that was funny. He’d insult her if he laughed, though, so he dialed it back. “Is there anything I can do?”
“That’s just it. You can’t help being so sexy.”
He rubbed a hand over his mouth to cover a grin. Being kicked to the curb had never felt so good.
“This is my problem, not yours. I’ll handle it, but I thought I should explain what was going on with me.”
He cleared his throat. “Thanks.”
“I’ll see you in the morning.” She started for the door.
“Does this mean you’d rather have someone else take you over to your place when you’re cleared to go back? I’m sure someone else would be happy to do it if you think—”
“I’d rather have you.” She glanced at him. “You were there so you’re prepared. Anyone else would be seeing it for the first time, like me.”
“Good point.”
“I promise to behave myself.”
He swallowed a laugh. “Don’t do it on my account.”
“See there?” She gestured toward him. “You’re sexy without even trying.” Groaning in obvious frustration, she hurried out the door and closed it behind her.
He stood very still and watched the door. If she was as worked up as he was, she’d charge back through it and throw herself into his arms.
But she didn’t. Clearly that wasn’t her personality. For the time being, she appeared to be serious about controlling her lust. Who did that these days when they had a willing partner? An exceedingly willing partner! Olivia Shaw, that’s who.
Chapter Seven
Olivia got the call first thing the next morning. She could return home. She wanted to go, but leaving the comfort of the ranch wouldn’t be easy. It had been a refuge.
Originally Trevor had planned to drive her there but that made no logistical sense. He’d only have to bring her back to the ranch so she could fetch her truck. Instead she asked him to follow her over so she wouldn’t face the devastation alone.
Once she was settled in, he could head back to the ranch. Despite her embarrassing confession the night before, she still wanted him to come with her. His solid presence was the best insurance against freaking out.
After breakfast, she gave Kendra a hug and walked out to her truck. Trevor had borrowed her keys so he could park her trailer out of the way beside the new barn before he unhitched it. Then he drove her truck up to the front of the house and climbed out, leaving the driver’s door open.
She walked around the front bumper. “Thank you so much. This is like valet parking.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He smiled and touched the brim of his hat. “Oh, wait. You don’t like me to call you ma’am.”
Except this time she’d been charmed by his use of it. “Evidently that depends on your delivery.”
“Oh, does it, now? Care to explain that?”
Now she’d done it. She glanced up at him and heat swirled in her belly. Even shaded by his hat, his eyes cast a powerful spell. “I guess it’s the difference between being formal and familiar.”
“So the other day it sounded too formal?”
“In a way. It…I don’t know…I guess it put distance between us.”
His gaze warmed. “Lord knows I don’t want that.”
The distance between them was shrinking faster than a cotton shirt in boiling water. “Could you please stop flirting?” She swung up behind the wheel and laid her purse and a small canvas bag for her nightwear on the passenger seat.
“Probably not after what you said last night.”
She turned to him. “I made it worse?”
“’fraid so. Want me to round up Zane to follow you over there? He’s a married man. I guarantee he won’t flirt.”
A Cowboy's Courage (The McGavin Brothers Book 5) Page 5
