by Bonnie Lamer
I didn’t hear anything. “The sound of your brain trying to work, probably,” I grumble.
“Open your ears or is there too much fat tissue in there for you hear correctly?” he snarls.
This time, I hear it. Voices. A male and a female voice coming from the grotto. Quickly, I douse the light ball putting Dipweed and me in total darkness. Well, except for the pure, white light now coming from the small cave room. Angel light?
“What do you mean, you can’t help me anymore?” Xandra’s doppelgänger purrs. “You want me to win, don’t you?”
A voice I don’t recognize responds. “You know I do.” Is that kissing? What is it with these humanoids smashing their lips together? How could that possibly be entertaining? “But my censure,” the male voice groans. I do not want to know what she is doing to him to make that noise come from his mouth. I may need to put blinders on to deal with this situation.
Stealing forward, my doppelgänger peeks around the cave entrance. It doesn’t take him long to come scurrying back. “This is not good,” he gasps, out of breath from fear.
I can barely make out his form in the small amount of light coming from the grotto. “It’s just kissing,” I snark. “Didn’t she do that in your realm?”
“Yes,” he snarls and I can see the greenish white of his teeth in the dark. “Often. But nothing good ever comes from her seducing Angels. Especially dark ones.”
Oh. This must be the mysterious Belial Xandra and the other Angel were discussing when they thought I was a living statue like everyone else in the room. “He was told he couldn’t do any more to help her,” I assure my doppelgänger. He snorts and I have to wipe god knows what off my snout with my paw. “Could you get a little closer the next time you want to slime me with snot, I would hate to miss out on any.”
“It was me trying to get your stupid out of my nose,” he grouses. “And do you think the Seraph who dropped us in your watered down universe was supposed to help her?”
No, I suppose not. I should take a closer look. Sidling along the wall, I reach the entrance to the grotto and peek around. Yup, she’s seducing him. I can’t wait to see the look on Xandra’s face when I tell her she was fooling around with her arch-nemesis. I’ll have to save the news for a special occasion, like the next time she calls me fat.
For someone who claims to hate Xandra so much, the Angel sure is willing to have her touch him. Everywhere. Oh, I really didn’t want to see her touch him there. I pull my head back before I vomit on my paws. I admit, it’s strange to see Xandra being touched like that by anyone other than Kallen. The dude may be a wanker, but he takes good care of her.
Padding back to my doppelgänger, I say, “Now’s probably not the best time to make a stand.”
“Do you think she’s going to stay long after they’re done? It’s now or never, Goblin-made.”
I try to arch an eyebrow. Something else I apparently can’t do like the humanoids can. “When did you get on board with this? I thought you were going to crawl off into a corner sniveling while I do all the heroic stuff.”
He snorts again but I am well out of firing range this time. “You, a hero? There isn’t a universe out there where that happens.”
I don’t bother to respond to his negativism. He’ll see soon how big of a hero I can be.
Chapter 27 - Xandra
“What do you mean you can’t open the door?!” Dagda exclaims in surprise through the oak door. He personally came to see what was taking us so long when we didn’t come down after Sindri’s request. He was probably afraid I ran off to do something foolish. Like I wanted to do.
I feel him pulling magic. Just like Kallen’s and mine, it’s useless against the magic holding the lock closed. After several unsuccessful tries, my biological father asks, “Have you tried teleporting out of there?”
Glowering at the door, I say, “No, I completely forgot I have that power.”
“Your sarcasm is not appreciated,” Dagda says dryly. “Sindri, please ask Isla to join me. Be discreet.” Yeah, I can see why he doesn’t want the other rulers to know that the person who’s supposed to save them all is locked in her own bedroom and can’t get out.
“Can you tell what type of magic is being used?” Kallen asks through the door.
“No, I can’t. Perhaps Isla will be able to identify it.”
This is the scariest thing. Kallen can’t identify the type of magic being used. My super smart husband who can read magical signatures and know how long they’ve been around can’t identify what kind of being was able to create such strong magic. I feared it was Belial at first, but I would recognize his magic.
Seeing the worry on my face that’s just as prevalent as his, Kallen wraps his arms around me. “We’ll figure this out.” He’s trying to convince both of us.
It doesn’t take long for Isla to arrive. “What do you mean, they are locked in?!” she exclaims. She grabs the doorknob and rattles it, trying her own magic against that which is keeping us in here. It’s not a surprise when nothing happens other than her cursing softly under her breath. “Kallen, how did this happen?”
“If I knew, Grandmother, I would certainly tell you.” He’s not quite as sarcastic as I was with Dagda, but he’s close.
“And yes, I tried teleporting,” I say before she can ask the question.
“How can this be?” Isla asks.
I can almost see Dagda shrugging. “I wish I knew.”
Kallen comes up with something we haven’t tried. He creates a hatchet. Oh, yeah. If it’s just the lock that’s holding us in here, maybe he can still break through the door. “Stand back,” he instructs to Dagda and Isla.
There is a loud smack as the hatchet hits the door. There is an even louder curse that comes out of Kallen’s mouth when his shoulder is painfully wrenched back similar to what happened to the Centaur King when he tried to shove his sword through my magic.
“Maybe the wall?” I suggest.
Kallen looks thrilled to be trying this again, but he moves several feet from the door and swings the hatchet. I’m tempted to cover my ears. Those are some pretty foul words coming out of his mouth as he drops the hatchet to the floor and holds his wrist up. It may be broken.
This I can still fix. Walking to him, I have him hold out his arm and I fix the damage to his wrist. With a tight smile, he says, “Thanks.” Picking the hatchet up again, Kallen goes to the balcony doors. The hatchet hits the glass and it doesn’t shatter.
I believe Kallen’s wrist did again, though. I heal it for the second time. “I think we can safely say we can’t break out of here through the walls or doors,” I say gently, not wanting him to keep hurting himself.
A loud bang comes from the other side of the wall. Apparently, Dagda is attempting the same thing. “So, that’s where you learned all those colorful words,” I say to Kallen with a smile.
Dagda has the same luck as Kallen did. Not even the tiniest of cracks appears in the door or the walls. After a few minutes, we hear the sound of heavy footsteps in the hall. After the same conversation about us being stuck in here, Quinn takes a stab at it. Even his Giant strength is useless here.
A noise from the balcony scares the heck out of me until I see Kegan’s face. He must have flown up here in his sparrow form. Now, he’s trying to break in from the other side of the glass doors. It doesn’t work. Unfortunately, I can’t heal his wrist at the moment. I give him a ‘thanks for trying’ smile.
Kallen and I look at each other and the same thought is crossing both our minds. If my doppelgänger is somehow responsible for this…
“Uncle,” Kallen says through the door. “It may be wise to evacuate the palace.”
Once again, my biological father is muttering things a father should never say in front of his child no matter how old she is.
Chapter 28 - Taz
“What’s your brilliant plan?” my doppelgänger asks, keeping his voice low. From the tone he uses, it seems he believes I don’t have one.
“We wait for the Angel to leave.”
“I said brilliant, not pathetic.”
“You have the patience of a gnat,” I sniff. “Once he is gone, we will do what we came to do.”
He snorts. “Not bloody likely. We’ll be lucky if we can avoid being impaled on a stalagmite.”
“You must be fun at parties with your charming wit and upbeat personality.”
“I can still kill you, Goblin-made,” he snarls.
Untrue. “Actually, you cannot at the moment.”
“You got the better of me once, it won’t happen again.”
My turn to snort. “You’ll find out how foolish you are soon.” As soon as his Witch Fairy stops trying to convince the Angel to do some god awful thing to my Witch Fairy. Waiting out here while she does wouldn’t be so bad if we could kill the audio. My ears are going to bleed soon if they keep it up.
The two in the grotto are speaking again. That’s a little better. “If I knew the Witch Fairy was this much fun, I never would have gone after her,” Belial moans.
“She and I are not the same,” Xandra’s doppelgänger purrs. “If you help me get rid of that weak creature, I will continue to make it worth your while. Just like this.”
Now I’m glad we’re far enough away not to have visuals. Yup, my Xandra is going to be so pissed when she hears about this. Not to mention nauseated. If this goes on any longer, my own nausea will become uncontrollable.
“Yes,” Belial groans. “I will help you.”
“You have no idea how happy that makes me,” the evil Xandra murmurs.
A light so blinding I know my retinas will never recover from it explodes from the grotto. “No!” the evil Xandra screams. “No! You can’t do this! You have no right!!”
“Who is she screaming at?” I wonder aloud.
“My guess is there was some other Angel intervention,” the other me says. “Intervention she wasn’t planning on.”
“Hence the vulgar language, thanks” I say dryly. “I know what happened, I simply wondered who it was.”
“Does it matter?” he asks.
No, not really. The important thing is the evil Witch Fairy is now alone in the cave. “It’s time to make our move,” I say, walking forward. I’m almost to the grotto when I realize my doppelgänger is still rooted to his spot twenty feet away. I guess he needs a little zap of courage, the wanker.
Chapter 29 - Xandra
“Do you think they’re all out?” I ask twenty minutes after Dagda left to give the evacuation order.
Kallen shrugs. “I would assume the guests are. The staff may be harder to round up.” The palace is huge and they’re scattered in different areas doing different jobs. “I assume Dagda is trying to be as discreet as possible.”
If my doppelgänger is in the palace, he won’t want to alert her to what’s going on. That means word will have to travel from person to person instead of a general announcement being made with magic loud enough for everyone in the palace to hear. “I hope he doesn’t make Sindri find everyone.”
Kallen smiles. “Sindri would appreciate your concern. He does not receive enough kind words.”
That’s because he’s the King’s go-to person for everything. “Has he been with Dagda from the time he became King?” I ask. Any subject other than the one involving our incarceration in this room and its possible ramifications is a relief.
Kallen seems to agree. He nods and says, “I do not know how he does it day in and day out. The Fairy has unending patience, it seems.”
“Kallen, Xandra,” Isla’s voice says through the door. “I thought you would like to know the evacuation is complete. Dagda, myself and Kegan will be here to do what we must to keep you safe in there. Please let us know if you are in immediate trouble.” Her voice is shaky with something I’ve never heard from her. Fear.
“We appreciate it, but it would be best if the three of you left as well. Kallen and I can handle this.” Even as I say the words, I know nothing will pry them from the hall outside the door. Nothing except death at the hands of my doppelgänger. Knowing that they are so fiercely loyal to us brings tears to my eyes.
“Hey, none of that,” Kallen says softly, rubbing a stray tear from my cheek. “Just like every other time we faced a situation like this, we will all walk away alive and well.”
I try to smile. I can’t because my lips are busy keeping the words ‘We’ve never fought me, before’ from escaping. Instead, I nod my head and lean into his hand.
Chapter 30 - Taz
“You can’t get revenge if you’re sitting there like a coward,” I grouse to my doppelgänger. I had to walk all the way back over here and I am not happy about it. “Get off your butt, Dipweed. We have a job to do.”
“Who decided it was our job to die?” he asks. The wanker really is scared. So scared, I don’t believe he can move.
“Do I really seem like the type who will sacrifice myself for the greater good?” I drawl.
Dipweed shrugs his shoulders. “You attacked me to save your Witch Fairy.”
I snort. Which I manage to do without covering his snout with boogers. “You had no chance against me.”
The other me suddenly straightens. “I let you win because my Witch Fairy was gone. I had nothing to prove.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” I say, once again walking toward the grotto. “If you say it enough times, maybe one of us will believe it.”
The soft scratching of nails on the cave floor tells me the Dipweed is finally following me. “If we die, I will shred your spirit into a million tiny pieces,” he threatens lamely.
“Quit being such a wanker,” I grumble. We’ve reached the grotto entrance. The Witch Fairy inside is pacing back and forth and still muttering profanities to herself. I don’t announce our presence. I wait for her eyes to find us. When they do, they are so full of anger and pure, unadulterated evil, I’m almost impressed. My Xandra will never master those expressions. She doesn’t have it in her.
“It’s about time your worthless ass got here,” she snarls, her upper lip curling up. Interesting, her teeth could use some brushing, too. Dental hygiene must not be important in their universe. “Where have you been and why do you have that creature with you?”
My doppelgänger tries to stand taller but he still looks scared. He’s even shaking a little. “I was captured. He set me free and brought me here.”
Evil Xandra’s eyes are back on me. “You? How could you bring him here?” she demands to know, stalking toward us.
I don’t care to have her too close to me, so I stop her. She runs into an invisible wall of magic like the ones my Xandra creates. The expression on her face is priceless. “I’ve been given the job of stopping you,” I explain. I don’t know if she heard me or not. She’s so busy throwing magic at the invisible wall that she’s really not concentrating on anything else. And her language? Too disgusting to repeat.
I try again to get her attention. I do because I’ve taken her voice away. This is really satisfying. I can understand why Xandra does this so often, now. “Even you can’t fight Divine Grace.”
Again, her reaction? Priceless.
Chapter 31 - Xandra
“This waiting is killing me,” I grumble. I’ve taken up pacing and I’m not usually a pacer.
“Maybe this is part of her plan,” Kallen says. “She must know this would be torture for you.” He almost sounds amused.
I stop and narrow my eyes at him. “Glad to know you find this so funny.”
“You know that is not the case,” he says with his ‘patient’ voice. I hate his patient voice.
“Why aren’t you freaking out?” I demand to know. “Why are you so calm when everyone we know may be killed and we can’t do anything about it?” He’s sitting on the bed propped up against the headboard. He looks so good, I want to crawl all over him despite trying to be annoyed with him.
“I believe you are currently freaking out enough for the both of us,” he chides.
Frustrated, I flop down on my back on the bed with my arms flung out to the side. “I have never felt so helpless in my entire life.”
Kallen leans over me and kisses me lightly. “That is how I feel every time you go off without me to fight a battle.”
Well, I definitely get it now. “Do I really make you feel like this?”
“Yes, you do,” he says, kissing me again. “But, that is the price I pay to have the most incredible, beautiful, intelligent, powerful, sexy woman in my life.” He punctuates each word with a kiss. “And in my heart. And in my bed.”
I laugh. “I think you like that last part the best.”
He shrugs. “If I had to choose between having you in my heart or in my bed, I would always choose to have you in my heart.”
“Me, too.”
Chapter 32 - Taz
I definitely have her attention now. “You remember Divine Grace. The stuff that let you jump universes?” Just because I’m curious what she’s thinking, I give her voice back.
“What do you know of Divine Grace, you ugly little beast. I will grind you to dust with my bare hands.” Turning her useless ire to my doppelgänger, she says, “You, you I will make suffer long and hard before I finally let you die.”
“Now I see where you got your charming personality,” I tell the other me. “She’s a bowl full of the jolly.”
“What are you doing?” he hisses. “She means every single thing she says. She does not make idle threats.”
“Believe him, you little mongrel.” The amount of magic she is throwing at the invisible wall is impressive.
“Sorry, I don’t believe stupid. And sticking around with you for as long as he did, that makes him stupid. Me? I’m not afraid of you.” To prove my point, I let the wall of magic go. I admit it, the evil grin she gets on her face is almost enough to make me back up. I hold my ground.
