I shook my head. "No, sit down, Keith. You need to hear this too."
They both sat opposite me and they held hands on top of the table.
I placed my head in my hands and rubbed at my face. Both pairs of eyes stared at me, hardly blinking, as I battled with what to tell them.
"Were you and Dad splitting up?" she asked.
"No." I closed my eyes and sighed. I hated that I was about to shatter the illusion of her perfect family. "I found out recently …" My mouth felt so dry I struggled to swallow my saliva.
"Go on."
"I found out, your father …"
"What, just tell me, Mum."
"He's HIV positive."
Yvonne snatched her hand from Keith's and covered her mouth. Keith's eyes darted from me to Yvonne, repeatedly. The silence was deafening.
Yvonne's head shook in tiny movements as she tried to process my words.
"I didn't want to tell you, but I'm not sure how much will be made public now," I said, gutted for hurting her like this.
"I … I don't understand," she said. "How?"
I raised my eyebrows at her.
"Dad wouldn't … wouldn't … Would he?"
My tight lips confirmed what she was denying.
Her eyes took on a pleading, confused look as she tried to make sense of the information presented to her.
"It's more awful than you're imagining. I'm sorry, but if you want the truth you'd better brace yourself," I said, feeling frazzled. I rubbed at my eyes before placing my hands together, as though praying, in front of my lips. I closed my eyes, dreading the words that were sure to make everything real once uttered.
Yvonne nodded to me as I opened my eyes.
I blew out, steadily. "Your dad is bi-sexual. He's been seeing men all over the country for years without my knowledge."
I witnessed the exact moment the realisation dawned on her.
"Mum, are you …?" She couldn't go on.
I knew what she meant.
I wished I could shake my head, deny everything, but I couldn't. She needed to be told everything. Well, within reason.
"Yes. I am also HIV positive."
The guttural sounds Yvonne made tore the heart out of me. I couldn't stand any more. I left Keith comforting his wife and escaped to my bedroom.
An hour or so later, Yvonne seemed to have settled down. Although her eyes were still red and swollen, she'd stopped crying.
I hugged her and kissed the top of her head.
"Oh, Mum …"
I placed my finger on her lips. "Shush. I'm okay. Honestly I am. There are drugs to help keep the illness at bay, nowadays." I suddenly remembered Gavin's medication and my breath hitched.
"What?" she said.
"Your dad's tablets—he hasn't got them with him."
"Can they wait until tomorrow? We can take them with us to the court," Keith said.
I shrugged. "I guess so." I smiled at Keith and touched his shoulder before sitting down.
"I rang Stella. She and Tina are on their way," Yvonne said.
"Oh no," I cried.
"She has a right to know, and what if the whole story comes out on Monday—we need to tell her first."
"She doesn't need to come all this way." I shook my head.
"She wants to, Mum. Just let us support you for once in your life." Yvonne argued. "We need to show the world that we're solid. No matter what happens now, we are family and will deal with this together."
"But what if your dad is found guilty of murder?" I said.
"Nonsense. I don't believe he's guilty for one minute—do you?"
I shook my head. "No. But I also wouldn't have believed everything else I now know to be true, this time last month."
Yvonne thought about it for a few minutes. Keith placed his arm around her shoulders, but she shrugged him off. "I still don't believe it and I can't see how any of this is connected," she said.
"Maybe it isn't, but it would be foolish to rule anything out at this stage."
Chapter 23
On Sunday, Stella, Tina and their spoiled, black standard poodle, Claude, arrived and my home was turned into a madhouse.
Yvonne took control of everything, leaving me to hide away in my room for hours on end. Mum made an appearance at the exact moment I thought my head might spin off with all the noise in the house.
Stella wasn't coping with the murder charges and had almost blown a gasket when Yvonne informed her of the HIV. She had always been noisy—everything she did had to be made into a huge performance. Her partner, Tina, tried to calm her, but even she couldn't manage it.
After listening to her wails and moans for over an hour, I'd had enough. I jumped off the bed and headed for the door.
Give her a break, Melanie. Imagine how you'd have been if this had happened to your precious father.
I stopped in my tracks. "Don't judge me—you've not even been around for days."
I've been here the whole time.
I sat back down on the bed. "It's difficult having a houseful when all this is going on."
They're here because they care, to support you.
"Do you think I don't know that?"
Give them a chance to get used to everything—you've had weeks, they've not.
"What makes you an expert all of a sudden?" I hissed.
On Monday morning, we all piled into Keith's SUV and headed to the court. Keith contacted Gavin's solicitor before we left. He warned him it was unlikely Gavin would be granted bail.
I dreaded seeing him. Prayed he wouldn't work everything out as soon as he clapped eyes on me, I'd never been good at keeping secrets from him.
When we arrived, the girls took one arm each and propelled me towards the courthouse.
I got through the security scanner without any hassle. Stella was asked to take off her leather jacket with the metal buttons and Keith had to remove his belt before they were cleared.
They hustled me inside the courtroom, my legs threatening to give out.
We sat on a wooden bench seat and I noticed the look that passed between Vonny and Stella as I shook uncontrollably.
Moments later, the courtroom filled and Gavin came in, handcuffed to a guard.
My heart almost stopped.
He didn't acknowledge us.
Stella called out and his back stiffened, but he continued to stare down at his feet.
I couldn't understand what was being said. It sounded like a solid hum of noise to me, and it took all my energy not to scramble over the top of everyone and get the hell out.
Within minutes, Gavin turned and was led from the courtroom. Yvonne and Stella were crying. I wasn't sure what had just happened, but I knew it wasn't good.
They ushered me back into the corridor. I was completely confused.
"What just happened, Keith?"
"The case has to go to trial because Gavin pleaded not guilty. He's been remanded in custody due to the seriousness of the crimes."
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"He will be taken to prison. If you wait here, I'll go and ask if we can see him." Keith walked off.
The three girls were huddled together. Tina had her arms around the other two. I stood to the side like a spare part, aware I should be crying too, but I couldn't.
Keith came back, his forehead furrowed.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"We can visit him for a few minutes. However, he told his solicitor he doesn't want Vonny and Stella to go in." He smiled and shrugged an apology at the girls.
"Why ever not?" Stella’s squealing voice hurt my ears.
Keith shook his head.
"He can't do that! We've come all this way to see him." She continued.
"For goodness sake, Stella, be bloody quiet for five minutes, will you? I can't hear myself think," I said.
"Mum!" Yvonne sounded shocked.
"Well, it's not all about her. He obviously feels terrible. Did you see the state of him?" My voice shook, along with the re
st of me, and I felt light headed.
Keith put his arm around me and led me away.
We took the lift to the basement. As the doors opened, I panicked.
"I can't, Keith. I can't." I uncurled his fingers from my arm and shoved him in the direction of the stark whitewashed corridor beyond.
"He's waiting for you, Mel. Come on, you'll be okay, I promise."
I took a deep breath and allowed him to guide me out of the lift.
The distinct lack of windows freaked me out, making me feel claustrophobic. I clawed at my neck, dragging the fine lace scarf off and poked it into my bag.
Fluorescent lights threatened to cause one of my migraines. Squinting, I turned my face towards Keith, who held me to his chest protectively.
Moments later a guard appeared and unlocked a huge white-painted metal door. Keith guided me through it and my breath hitched at the sight of Gavin sitting at a table in the middle of the room.
He gasped. I could tell he, too, was fighting back the tears.
My heart contracted. I took in the broken demeanour of my usually confident and larger than life husband—from his stooped shoulders to his sallow grey complexion. His raggedy five-o-clock shadow looked as though he'd used a knife and fork to shave with. However, the weight loss shocked me more than anything. What the hell had I done?
What you had to do.
I wasn't so sure. Another woman would have left home or kicked him out. Not take the law into her own hands, murdering people in cold blood, and setting her husband up to take the fall.
Don't go losing your nerve now.
I noticed both Gavin and Keith staring at me and I felt uncomfortable. What had just happened?
"What?" I asked, confused.
"I asked how you are." Gavin half smiled.
I nodded. "Okay, I think." I glanced around and shuddered. "You?"
He shrugged. "Coping. I prayed for a miracle today, for the judge to take pity on me and allow bail. But Terry told me there was no chance."
I couldn't talk. Couldn't think of a single thing to say.
"How are the girls?" Gavin asked.
I nodded and tried, without success, to swallow the lump in my throat.
"Upset and confused, but okay," Keith said when I didn't answer.
"They do believe I'm innocent, don't they?"
"Yeah, course they do, Gavin," Keith continued.
"Why do the police think you did it?" I asked.
Gavin scrubbed his face with his hands. "That's the odd thing. I was one of the last people to see each of the dead men. The murder weapon from two of the murders was found in my car and my car was the final murder weapon."
Shocked, Keith gasped and began to cough. He stood and left the room seeming to be choking to death.
"You believe me, don't you, Mel?"
"I don't know. I want to." My voice sounded flat.
He slumped in his chair as if all the air had been sucked out of him.
"I brought your medicine. What should I do with it?"
Gavin shrugged. "Dunno. Ask Terry."
"I'm sorry, Gavin. I wish I could say I believed you, but over the past few weeks I've learned nothing is as it seems with you."
"I know, but in this, I'm innocent."
"Not totally."
"What do you mean?"
"You chose to meet up with those men, and you chose to infect them."
"I'll hold my hands up. With the first two I admit, you're right. But that's all, I never hurt them, had no reason to."
“You never hurt them?” I felt like putting my hands around his throat and squeezing till every last bit of life seeped from him. “What about infecting their wives? Their children? Why can’t you take responsibility for what you have done?”
He didn’t respond. Just stared at me, his eyebrows knitted together and his mouth twisted.
I took a couple of deep breaths, replaying what had just been said. "The first two?" My stomach clenched.
"What?"
"You said you were guilty of having sex with the first two? What about the last one?"
Gavin shook his head. "He wasn't anything like that. It was strictly business."
A cry left my lips as I realised my mistake. Thoughts of that beautiful family all laughing in the car that day, followed by the vision of the twins’ dad pinned to the wall, inches from my face—all these images swam around in my head.
I realised Keith had returned and was looking at me strangely. He spoke, but I couldn't hear the words. Gavin's mouth also moved. All I heard was a screaming white noise.
As Keith led me from the room, my eyes locked with Gavin's one last time and I knew the game was well and truly up.
Chapter 24
Two things horrified me. The first and most terrible of all, I'd killed an innocent man—torn a loving family apart. God only knows the damage I'd done to those beautiful little twins.
It never occurred to me that Gavin might have been working when he met those men. But of course he would have had a certain number of business meetings. Otherwise, the company wouldn't insist he stay away so often. They had an unmanned office in Pinevale where I had imagined those meetings would be conducted, not his motel room.
The noise playing in my ears sounded like an awful scream, which mirrored the way I felt.
At home, Keith all but carried me into my room and lay me on the bed, insisting the girls leave me alone. I was grateful. The awful sound had ceased, but I had my mum jabbering away instead.
It's not our fault. How were we to know?
We're talking about a man's life, Mother. Not just a whimsical decision that didn't mean anything—we should have checked and been absolutely certain first.
The second thing worrying me was Gavin. I thought he might work everything out if we were together long enough, and the expression on his face told me he had done just that. It was only a matter of time before the police came knocking.
You stupid, stupid girl. It was all going according to plan and you had to let it slip. You stupid, stupid girl.
"Enough!" I yelled. "I've had enough. Not one more fucking word out of you!"
The door burst open and Yvonne and Stella charged in the room. Keith and Tina stood in the doorway.
"Mum, what's wrong?" Yvonne cried.
"Get out!" I screamed. "Get out! Get out!" I continued as they backed out of the door, the horror evident on their faces.
They closed the door behind them.
I ran around the room in a fit of rage, upending the bookcase, swiping everything off the dressing table and kicking over the wicker chair, before collapsing onto the bed and tearing at my hair. All the while a guttural roar ripped from my throat.
Exhausted, all the suppressed emotions from the past weeks faded as I cried myself to sleep.
The sound of the phone ringing woke me from my slumber. Disorientated, I staggered from the bed thinking it was the middle of the night. The daylight peeking in through a chink in the curtains surprised me.
I opened the door a crack, hearing Keith talking on the phone. The tone of his voice intrigued me and I crept down the hallway towards him.
"That's bizarre. He was adamant he had nothing at all to do with the murders. No. No. He seemed fine, I think."
Keith's body tensed when he saw me, he screwed up his face in a troubled wince.
"Yes, I'll tell her. So what will happen now?" he continued.
"What?" I whispered.
He held one finger up and turned away from me.
The lounge door opened and Yvonne came into the hallway. I smiled at her and she smiled back with tight lips—not really a smile at all.
I shook my head and walked into the kitchen. Tina sat at the dining table reading a book. She closed the cover as I entered.
"Hi, Mel. You okay?"
"I'm tired, to be honest."
"Understandable, in the circumstances."
"I guess. How's Stella? Still sulking?"
"You know Stel, she'll h
ave forgotten all about it by tea time."
I sighed and reached for the kettle.
Tina got to her feet. "Hey, let me do that. You sit down."
The shirt and trousers she'd worn to court had been replaced by a t-shirt and jeans. With her short-cropped brown hair and broad, chubby figure, she looked manlier than most men I knew. But she was a good girl, and a saint for putting up with my youngest daughter.
"Oh, you're okay, love. I need to do something. I might take Claude for a run in the park soon. I could do with a bit of fresh air." I got two mugs from the cupboard and raised one towards her.
She nodded.
"I was thinking the same myself. Shall we go together?" Her French accent, although mild, gave a sing-song lilt to her words.
"If you want, but to be honest I don't think I'm much company right now. I'd rather go alone if you don't mind."
"Well, if you're sure," she said.
I handed her a mug of coffee and rubbed her shoulder, then went in search of Keith. I'd expected him to come through by now. He'd been off the phone for ages.
I found him in the lounge with Stella and Yvonne. They all stopped talking as I entered.
"So what's happened now?" I asked.
They all looked stupidly at each other and then back at me.
"Keith. Tell me. Who was on the phone?"
"Terry Hamlet."
"Jesus, this is like pulling bloody teeth. Just spit it out."
"We don't want you upset, Mum," Yvonne said.
"A bit late for that, don't you think?" I smiled.
"But …"
"Vonny, tell me what's happening, I'm okay, I promise."
Stella and Yvonne turned to Keith.
Keith cleared his throat. "Well, erm … Terry said Gavin changed his plea."
"Meaning?" I shook my head, confused.
"Meaning …" he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. "… meaning, he's confessed to all three murders."
"He can't have! He didn't do it!" I shook my head, scanning everyone's face in turn. None of them met my eyes.
The cool evening air was exactly what I needed. Claude trotted along beside me on his lead.
The thoughts churned around and around in my brain making me dizzy, and I just had to escape from all the sympathetic and wary gazes. You'd think I wouldn't care, considering they were family and experiencing the exact same feelings as me, but I couldn't cope.
Psychological Thriller Series: Adam Stanley Boxed Set: Behind Shadows, Positively Murder and Mind Bender Page 35
