by K Larsen
Salve and an ambulance were the first on the scene. A gory scene. One that I still can’t quite fathom I created. I can’t figure out why Aubry dragged the two guys from outside into the entryway. It seems morbid. Like she just wanted to see the body count all in one place. Liam called Salve after my text to him. I should have known better, but what’s done is done and now it’s time to pay up.
“Tell me your movements of the last six hours. We have to do a complete report. It’s necessary for us to know where everyone was.”
I sketch the details of my time for Detective Salve, telling him about my night at Aubry’s, going to grab breakfast, finding her gone. About my suspicion that the Russians had a hand in Aubry’s disappearance and how I knew Liam had done real estate deals with them in the past. How I used that to my advantage. I was about to give Detective Salve the rest of the story when his phone rings and he excuses himself.
“Don’t say anything else,” Aubry spits from her spot tucked beneath my arm fiercely. I eye her warily, uncertain what she’s up to. She nestles her face against my chest possessively.
When Salve returns, Aubry speaks up. “Mike found me and tried to save me. They fought.” She sniffles, “It was so scary. I shot them. Mike started the fight, but I was the one who got one of the guns when it skidded across the floor. He’d knocked it out of their hand. I was the one who pulled the trigger.”
Salve gives Aubry a curious look, as if he’s weighing his options. Does Aubry even know how to shoot a gun? If I’m thinking it, Salve’s got to be thinking it as well. But in the end, he only nods before making a note and being called away again.
“Why’d you do that?” I whisper to her.
She turns her big ocean blue eyes up to me and with the utmost sincerity says, “Because it makes more sense and I won’t get in trouble. Don’t you see? It’s the only way I could return the favor and save you.” I can’t control the desire itching inside me at her words. She wants to save me. Dipping down I press my lips to hers.
Aubry walks next to the gurney as they wheel me to the ambulance. My leg throbs. A bone deep pain ever persistent. Now that adrenaline has wilted and eased, the pain is almost unbearable. She squeezes my hand signaling me to look at her. I follow her gaze to the police tape perimeter and sigh.
Nora is lifting the tape, red hair flying wild in the wind. She plows through two cops, marching directly toward us.
“I will kill you,” she seethes at me.
“Stop,” Aubry says holding a hand up. “He saved me.”
“Being a vigilante is not the same as being a hero. You could have disappeared forever. Died!” Her voice is full of emotion. Before I can form a coherent response, Liam appears behind her. Aubry releases my hand and pulls Nora into a hug whispering things I can’t make out.
“You shoot yourself?” Liam asks quietly. He presses his lips into a firm line. Like he’s stifling something.
I chance a smirk and shake my head. “No, ass. I’m a damn good shot.”
The paramedics stop me outside the back doors and Liam uses their distraction to speak.
“I couldn’t risk losing you both.” His tone is genuine.
I nod, staunching the emotion bubbling inside my chest. Dudes don’t do emotion. “I know. I’m glad you called Salve.”
“What’s the story?” he asks.
“Aubry told him there was a fight, she got a gun and shot them all.”
Liam’s brows hike up. “And Salve bought that?”
I clench my teeth against the pain radiating through my thigh. “Doubtful, but he didn’t question it—yet.”
“He’s a good man. You’re lucky he’s also a friend.” Liam pats my shoulder a little too firmly but I don’t mind because he’s here, talking to me, which means he won't hold a grudge forever. It means I still have a best friend.
“So are you,” I tell him as the paramedics drop the gurney legs and slide me inside.
39
Aubry
Nora holds my hand, sitting in the backseat next to me, as we drive to the hospital to meet the ambulance there. Her eyes are still full of fury but her expression tells me she’s softening, just a little. She can’t outdo me in the fury department anyway and I know she won’t try.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks.
“It wasn’t my secret to tell, plus, I legit thought I was bat-shit crazy when I first woke up. I mean, even alone with me, Mike denied the whole jungle thing.”
She squeezes my hand. “I can’t lose you, Aub.”
“You won't. I’m right here. But, now you totally know how I felt when you were missing. It’s agony.”
Liam smiles at us through the rearview mirror.
“So, what now?” she questions.
I shrug. “I don’t know. I really need to sell Salve on the whole me-pulling-the-trigger thing, and Gregor is still unaccounted for, but honestly, I’d like to go back to normal.”
“Normal?” she snorts, “define that term for me because, I don’t know what it means anymore.”
I grin because I definitely do know what normal means to us. “Well, it means yoga, and girls nights with bad movies and popcorn with peanut M&Ms. It means me picking on Liam and Mike every opportunity I get. It’s snuggling on a sun-soaked couch after a night of hot sex with a steaming mug of coffee and Mike. It’s family dinners and design projects and laughter and—and” Nora puts a finger to my lips.
“Okay, I get it. Our normal can be defined.” Her eyes are wide and full of emotion that she’s trying to contain. She’s trying so hard it makes me want to tear up. She doesn’t have to treat me with kid gloves. I try to lighten the moment.
“Don’t sound so upset about it,” I tease.
“I’m not. I like our normal,” she says. I rest my head on her shoulder. “Nadir, optimum?” she whispers.
Simultaneously Liam and I burst out laughing, because only Nora would ask my low/high of the day given the circumstances.
“Nadir. I got kidnapped and degraded. Optimum, hmm, Mike came for me, is alive and in about,” I look out the window to check where we are, “ten minutes, all my favorite people will be together.”
“How are you so okay?” Liam asks. It’s a valid question but I don’t have a concrete answer. We all cope differently.
Shrugging I say, “I didn’t ever give up.” Nora shoots me a sad smile and looks out the window. “Hey,” I say bumping her shoulder with mine. “I didn’t mean anything by that.”
“I know. I didn’t give up either. We all have to make choices in life and no two people will ever make the same one in the face of fear and survival. Sometimes I just wonder what might have happened had I … tried to stay me a little longer.”
I squeeze her hand in support. “I have a feeling you’d be dead or single. Remember what you told me? How bad things lead us to good things just in the nick of time? See that sort of attractive dude driving us right now?” Nora snorts and Liam makes a face in the rearview at me. “Well, he’s your optimum. Holden was your nadir.”
Liam clears his throat. “For once, Aubry makes an accurate point.”
Woman comes on the radio station and it sends shivers down my spine. “Driver, would you mind turning this to deafening levels?” He rolls his eyes at me, but does as requested. The words. The music, it soothes my soul because I am a motherfucking woman and that is powerful.
Mom and Aimee are in the admitting waiting area when Liam, Nora and I walk in. Aimee rushes me. Her teenage-skinny arms latching around my waist, her head pressed firmly to my chest. She crashes into me with such force that the wind almost leaves my lungs.
“Hey, hey. I’m fine. Look. I’m okay,” I whisper into her hair but my words only cause her to yank me more tightly to her. Mom’s arms come around my shoulders, sandwiching Aimee between us and for the first time in a long time, we have a family hug. Something I thought was a thing of the past. Something we’d grown out of over the last few years. Not gonna lie though, it feels heavenly. I make
a mental to note to instigate more family hugs in the future while committing the feeling of this one to memory.
“Aubry Clark?” I snap my eyes open and look over Mom’s head to the voice calling my name. One by one, Mom and Aimee’s arms loosen and release me. I raise a hand in the air.
“That’s me.”
“Michael Chesterfield can now take visitors and is,” she clears her throat, “adamantly requesting you.”
I bite my lip and ignore the irritated looks from Mom and Nora. I have faith they’ll adjust. If I can, they most certainly can.
“What about you?” My mom snaps. “You’re the victim. We need to get you checked out.”
I put a hand up to stop her.
“Mom, the medics already checked me out and cleared me. I’m fine. Mike took a bullet. For me,” say pointedly. It seems to ease her panic slightly.
“Mike took a bullet because he’s reckless,” Liam snorts out. I glare at him and reiterate that I am not injured.
Following the woman’s directions, I find Mike’s room and pause at the door, suddenly nervous. If all this is over now, what if we are too? Just because you come together in stressful times or experience trauma together doesn’t mean that you’re bonded for life. Sometimes, it’s the opposite. What if we need different things to heal and move forward?
“I can practically hear you thinking.” Mike’s voice comes at me softly from the other side of the door. Looking down, I notice I’m gripping the handle. I must have jiggled it. How else would he know I was standing here? “Aubry, just get in here.”
Pushing the door open I step into his room. A wave of familiarity hits me. It was only a short time ago that I was stuck in a hospital bed here. With no hesitation I stride to his bedside and perch on the mattress next to him. He looks ok, tired but alive and the relief I feel is overwhelming.
He takes my hand in his and looks me over. “What’s going on up there?” he asks while glancing at my forehead. I shake my head and with it shake away the thoughts of Mike and I not having a future together, and instead, lean down and plant my lips on his. He groans in the most sensual masculine way.
“I fucking love you.” I blurt still lip to lip with him, foreheads pressed together.
His smile lights up his eyes in a way I’ve never been privy to before. “I fucking love you too.”
40
Aubry
I’ve kept my appointments with Dr. R because although girls were recovered from the docks—in this part of the country it’s being hailed as one of the largest trafficking busts in decades, and Yuri and others are dead, Gregor disappeared into the wind and that makes me nervous. But she’s helping me channel my anger and anxiety regarding that one loose end and it’s working. The past weeks have seemed more turbulent than the actual ordeal itself, but I might also still be compartmentalizing my emotions; so here I am, relaying all the nitty gritty details of the last few months to the fine Doctor.
Dr. Richardson’s expression as I relay the truth of all that happened, now that Mike is in the clear, is quite humorous. It’s not often you get to witness an expert psychiatrist slack jawed. It makes me wish I’d brought Nora with me today because she would absolutely get a kick out of this moment. I make a mental note to give her a detailed play by play later on.
“Mike slept with me here, home, after, and lied about it. I knew without doubt that the jungle happened after Mike’s reaction to that night. So you see, it all happened, but I couldn’t tell you anything until we were safe.”
“I’m so sorry, Aubry.” Dr. Richardson genuinely means what she says.
I grin at her. “It’s okay. I knew and that’s all that matters. I couldn’t risk telling you until now.”
“Still, it makes me feel foolish thinking I misdiagnosed you. That, as your therapist, I didn’t believe you. That I tried to convince you what you experienced wasn’t true. That would drive anyone mad.”
I pull my sleeves over my fingers. “Like I said, it’s okay. It wasn’t just you, everyone was working against me because of Mike lying.”
“And how are you and Mike?”
I look at the books, spines spread out across a ceiling to floor bookshelf and smile. “We’re great.”
“Are you? Any lingering issues to work through? It’s never easy when you’ve gone through what the two of you have.”
“You know, I couldn’t forgive him at first. All I felt was anger. But I didn’t know why he bothered lying once I was home. I didn’t understand why he was doing what he was. We were back, both alive.”
“What changed?” she asks. She looks good today, happy. I wonder what happened in her life recently that has her glowing.
“Nora.” She raises her brows at me. “She didn’t even know she was helping me really. But she made me realize that love isn’t finite. That when you love, it doesn’t have to fit inside any boundaries to be legitimate. I wanted Mike, but I couldn’t reconcile what he was doing with my love for him.”
“How’d you finally accomplish that?” She’s watching me curiously.
“I decided love mattered more than his actions—but before you go saying that’s not smart—let me remind you that I knew Mike before his actions became shady. Instead of trying to work out the puzzle ahead of time, I let myself love and accept him until he was ready to fork over the missing puzzle pieces.”
“And if he hadn't? What would your love feel like then?” she asks.
“If he wasn’t capable of explaining his actions I wouldn’t have fallen for him in the first place. I believe that right down to my core, just like I know without doubt that Mike is a good man.”
She scribbles notes down at a furious pace. “Interesting.”
“You don’t have to take notes anymore, Doc, because I think I’m ready to graduate therapy.” Dr. Richardson laughs as she looks from her notepad to me.
“Usually, Aubry, when a person thinks they’re done with therapy is when they need it the most. Humor me and give me four more sessions with you.”
Sighing, I lean back into the chair and purse my lips. “I really am okay.”
She half smiles at me. “Let’s shoot for fabulous instead of okay. I’m only asking for one more month of your time.” She gives me a warm but knowing look that implies she knows something I don’t. That makes me wonder if, belatedly I might have feelings to talk about. Not about Mike, but about other things. I cross my arms over my chest but my defiance doesn’t intimidate her.
“Fine. One more month.”
Her lips curl up into a wide smile.
Epilogue
Mike
She laughs and drops down next to me. We sit by the waterside and I kiss her cheek. The best thing I ever did was tell Aubry I loved her. The last few months were a whirlwind of reporters and lawyers and court appearances but we weathered it all together.
Aubry, forever a fighter, almost had a nervous breakdown when the judge awarded me five thousand hours of community service for my obstruction of justice charge. She was removed from the courtroom for cursing the verdict. Her belief that I should escape all punishment was so vehement that she couldn’t control her mouth. I nearly wept with relief. Plus, my volunteering keeps me close to everyone I love. Somehow, Liam and Nora made sure that I could volunteer at N.E.L., Nora and Eve’s non-profit. And really, I can’t complain. I don’t have a job that interferes with five thousand hours’ worth of community service, and I have more money than I can spend in this lifetime so it suits me to spend my days helping others when for so long I only bothered helping myself.
“Can we stay another day?” Aubry asks, staring out over the water.
I pull her close. “Babe. I’m not even supposed to be out of the country.”
She shoots me a devious smile. “You’re such a badass.”
“Are you mocking me, Ms. Clark?”
She squirms from under my arm and stands, toes buried in the silt sand. She gives me a sultry come and get me look while she shimmies out of her shorts. Her tan
k top is next to disappear from her body.
“What are you doing?”
She unclasps her bra, letting it slide off her arms and into the sand followed by her panties.
“I feel dirty,” she says as she turns on her heel and heads into the river water. “Come help me clean up.” She wades up to her thighs before diving under the water.
I rip my shirt over my head and fling it to the side before standing and ditching my pants. The sun glints off her wet, jet-black hair when she emerges and my stomach clenches at the immense beauty that is all mine. No one will ever have her like I do. Not now, not ever. She’s chained to me in a way no other ever will be. I dive into the murky water, only mildly worried about snakes, and revel in its cooling effect. When I pop up, Aubry swims to me and wraps her legs around my waist. Her wet skin is slippery and silky soft against me. As she bobs, attached to my waist, water dripping from the ends of her hair down her ample breasts, I lose my breath at the sense of peace and complacency I feel.
“What’s going on up there?” she asks tapping my temple.
“Not all that much. It’s hard to think with your legs wrapped around me like they are.”
Her lips meet mine in a kiss that is animalistic passion. Some women wouldn’t come back here after what happened. Some wouldn’t ever be the same again. Many, as I’ve witnessed through various days volunteering at N.E.L. turn meek and shun physical contact after trauma, but not my Aubry. Her spirit is too bold to be dampened. I kiss her back with vigor. When she requested to come back here, to the jungle, I was hesitant to oblige. I didn’t want to have anything negative resurface for her emotionally. I didn’t want to bear the weight of my own guilt, if I’m honest. Her fingers slide down my arms leaving a trail of gooseflesh behind. The water gently moves around us as she pulls back, eyes hooded, framed by thick wet lashes.
