by Ivy Smoak
Hails turned around to look at me. "They just had an exclusive with one of the doctors from the hospital where James Hunter is. They said that each day that goes by he gets less and less likely to wake up. It's not looking good. I can't even imagine what his family is going through. And his new wife? It's heartbreaking."
"It really is." Heartbreaking. I couldn't think of any other way to describe it. I looked away from the image and grabbed my bags and her duffel. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah." She turned off the TV. "I can carry that, you know."
"I got it."
"Do you want me to take a turn driving today?"
"Nope."
"Oh, come on," she protested as she followed me out of the room.
***
"I thought Kansas would be more...magical," Hailey said.
I laughed. "Why did you think that?"
"Well, because of Wizard of Oz and everything. But really it's almost exactly the same as Indiana."
"The Wizard of Oz isn't magical until Dorothy leaves Kansas."
"Still." She shrugged her shoulders.
The more time I spent with her, the more I liked her. She had these cute little freckles underneath her eyes and across the bridge of her nose. And her eyes lit up whenever she spotted something half interesting on our drive. Earlier today she had freaked out because she swore she saw a buffalo. I'm pretty sure she hadn't. She had even made me pull over and stop so that she could stare at nothing.
Half the time it seemed like she smiled as a defense mechanism. But when she laughed, her smile really showed. I liked seeing her real smile. We had stopped asking each other tough questions, and somehow that made it easier. It didn't mean I didn't want to know more though. I had been thinking about it a lot. Why would she just suddenly come home from college and leave immediately? What drove her away?
"I need to make a quick phone call," she said. "If the waiter comes, can you just order me a cheeseburger with fries?"
"Gladly." Yup, the more time I spent with her, the more I liked her. Any girl who ordered real food instead of a salad won my heart a little. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and clicked on one of my many new voicemails.
"Tyler Stevens, this is Officer Daugherty with the NYPD. We talked on the phone the other day..." I pulled the phone away from my ear and pressed the delete button.
Penny told me she'd take care of it. And despite everything, I trusted her with my life. She'd fix this. She'd fix this and probably forget I ever existed. I was easier to cast aside than she was to me.
I clicked on the next voicemail. "Tyler Stevens, this is Officer Daugherty with the NYPD. We need you to come in for questioning..." I deleted the message before I heard the whole thing again and clicked on the final voicemail. "Mr. Stevens, this is Officer Daugherty with the NYPD. We've already arrested your accomplice and we're going to be issuing a warrant for your arrest if you do not come in for your..." I pulled the phone away from my ear and pressed the delete button.
Accomplice? Penny told me to ignore their calls. She told me she'd fix it. So why the fuck were they still hounding me? I blocked the number from my phone. It didn't matter if they arrested me. I didn't have enough energy left to care.
Chapter 11
Hailey
Sunday
I knew my dad would be sitting in his office. I could picture him there. It was easy to see an image I had seen so many times in my life. But now he looked frail. He looked sick. I closed my eyes as the phone started to ring.
"Hello?" said a raspy voice.
"Hi, Dad." I leaned my back against the brick wall outside the restaurant.
"Hails, where are you? I've been worried sick. You can't just..."
"I'm in Kansas."
There was a pause. "What are you doing in Kansas?"
"I got a ride to California."
"With who?"
I bit my lip. I didn't want him to worry. "A friend."
There was another long pause. "You're still going to see her?"
I already felt guilty for leaving him. And now I felt like I was betraying his wishes too. "It's our only option."
"I want you to come home." His cough made me wince.
"I'll be home soon. I'm going to fix this."
"There's nothing for you to fix. I'm the adult. I'm the one..."
"I'm an adult now too, Dad. Please. I have to do this."
"She'll turn you away."
"Then at least I'll know I tried everything I could."
"I don't like the idea of you seeing her. Last time you two..."
"I'll be fine, Dad. I'm not a kid anymore."
He sighed. "I know, honey."
I swallowed hard and looked up at the stars. Whenever I saw the stars I felt close to him. For some reason I felt the distance tonight, though. And for some reason I knew he wasn't outside looking up at the same stars as me anymore. He was inside. He was sick. I felt like he was slipping away. "How are you feeling?"
"The same."
I put my face in my hand. It was hard talking to him like this, knowing that he had already given up. Knowing that he was angry at me. "I have to go. I love you, Dad."
"I love you too, Hails."
I pressed the end call button and kept my face in my hand. Again I wondered what the fuck I was doing. My dad didn't want me to go see Elena. So why was I disregarding his wishes when he had four months to live? I wiped away my angry tears and pushed off the wall.
Fuck this. Fuck everything. Just for one night I wanted not to think. I wanted not to feel like shit for being so blind. I took a deep breath and made my way back into the restaurant. I walked over to the bar and ordered two shots of tequila. Before the bartender even had a chance to walk away, I downed both of them.
"Two more, please."
He laughed. "Preparing for karaoke night?"
"It's karaoke night?"
"Yup, it starts in ten minutes."
"Then yes, I'm absolutely preparing for karaoke night." I picked up the two shot glasses he had just poured and walked back over to our table. I slid one of the shots over to Tyler.
"I thought you wanted us to keep driving after dinner?"
"That was before I found out that it was karaoke night." I lifted up my glass.
Tyler smiled. "How about you sing and I'll watch?" He slid the shot back over to me.
"Duets always get a better response. Please." I hated the desperation in my voice. And for some reason I felt like I was going to start crying again. "For one night I just want to forget about all my problems. I need this."
His tongue darted across his lower lip as he considered my idea.
I was already feeling the buzz of the tequila. And all I could think about was how good it would feel for his tongue to dart across my lips. I pressed my thighs together. Maybe this was a bad idea. I was so attracted to him. If I drank much more I'd probably throw myself at him.
"Let's both forget," I said before I could overthink it.
"I'll do one song. But that's it." He lifted up his glass, clinked it against mine, and downed his shot.
I smiled as I followed suit. I waved to the bartended and pointed to our shot glasses. "This is going to be so much fun, I promise." I reached across the table and placed my hand on his. The same spark I felt back in Indiana shot up my arm and I immediately removed my hand. God, I was in so much trouble.
***
"Ah, it's our turn!" I grabbed his hand and pulled him up out of his seat.
"You should just go."
"I already signed us both up. We're singing Closer by The Chainsmokers."
He looked so reluctant, despite the fact that I had been forcing shots on him for half an hour.
"There's a boy and a girl part. I can't do it by myself." I gave him an exaggerated frown.
"Fine."
I grabbed his hand and we walked up to the stage together. I was surprised when he kept his fingers intertwined with mine until we got up on the stage. As soon as he dropped my hand to grab his
mic, my hand felt cold. I liked the feeling of his skin against mine. I stared at him as he cleared his throat. The music started blaring through the restaurant.
"Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you," he sang and pointed at me.
I laughed.
"I drink too much and that's an issue, but I'm okay." He winked at me.
Why the hell had he not wanted to do this? He was such a good singer. So much better than me.
His eyes stayed locked on mine. It was like he was singing directly to me.
He pulled the mic off the stand and walked over to me. "Now you're looking pretty in a hotel bar." He lightly touched a strand of my hair.
I felt frozen in place. Was this really happening? It felt like he was serenading me.
"Bite that tattoo on your shoulder," he sang and lightly touched my shoulder.
Chills ran down my spine.
He pulled the mic away from his face and I realized that it was almost my turn to sing.
I wanted to sing to him too. I wanted him to know how attracted I was to him. I wanted him to want me back. "You look as good as the day I met you," I sang and touched his chest with my index finger.
The fire in his eyes made my throat feel dry.
"Stay, and play that Blink-182 song, that we beat to death in Tucson, okay." Looking at him made me nervous. But I needed to go for it. This seemed like the best possible moment. "So, baby, pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover." I grabbed the front of his t-shirt and pulled him closer to me, before turning around and pressing my ass against him.
"Fuck."
Oh my God, had he really just said that out loud? Or had I imagined it? Why had I drank so much? I tried to focus on the lyrics but all I wanted to do was dance with him. I wanted to feel his hands on my hips. I wanted him to literally pull me closer, just like the song said.
"Baby pull me closer," he sang and grabbed my hips, pulling me more firmly against him.
And I could feel him. He was hard. Really hard. God, he wanted me too. I grinded against him.
"Pull the sheets right off the corner," I sang as I dipped low against him.
His fingers definitely tightened on my waist.
"We ain't ever getting older!" I stood up straight and reached behind me, running my fingers down the back of his neck.
"We ain't ever getting older," he whispered in my ear.
I laughed and turned around, spreading my arms in the air. "We ain't ever getting older!" I sang at the top of my lungs and spun around in a circle. "No, we ain't ever getting older!"
The music stopped and we were both staring at each other on the stage.
People in the audience clapped and a few patrons whistled.
I laughed and grabbed Tyler's hand, pulling him off the stage. I dragged him to the side of the bar, away from the speakers, hooking my hands behind his neck.
"Let's get out of here." Yes, I had consumed a lot of alcohol. But that wasn't what was making me feel the way I was right now. I was intoxicated by him.
"I can't drive right now." He didn't try to pull away from me. He let me stay pressed against him.
"I know. Let's go to the hotel next door." I ran my thumb along the scruff on his jaw. "Maybe we could share a bed again?" I stared up at him. I had never been so forward in my life. Hopefully it was working.
He stared down at me and for a long time he didn't say anything. I watched his Adam's apple rise and fall.
"I don't think that's a good idea," he said, almost too low for me to hear over the music.
"Why? You could just pretend that I'm her." It spilled out of my mouth before I even realized what I was saying.
"Who?"
"The girl you're in love with."
His eyes suddenly looked sad. "I don't want to pretend with you."
"Then don't pretend." I stood on my tiptoes and placed a kiss against his lips.
He didn't pull back.
I let my tongue dart against his lips. But he didn't part his for me. He didn't let me in. Instead he took a step away from me, and my hands fell from his neck.
"You're drunk, Hails."
"But I wanted you before I even had one shot."
He shook his head.
God, I was so embarrassed. I put a smile on my face. I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself. And that it was his loss. But his rejection stung. I blinked away my tears. I didn't want to think about anything. My dad, the bar, him. Seriously, fuck him. I didn't need this. I already had enough shit to deal with without whatever the hell this was. "Awesome. So, I'm going to go drink more and sing another song without you." I turned away and then quickly turned back to him. "And you know what? Don't bother waiting for me, I'll find a ride with someone else. Just leave my bag at our table. I really hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. And just for the record? You're being a coward for not going after her. Grow a pair." I turned on my heel and walked away from him.
Chapter 12
Tyler
Sunday
I watched her walk away from me and tried to swallow down the anger brewing inside of me. She was drunk. She was slurring her words. She didn't walk in a straight line up to the stage, despite there being a clear path. What did she want me to do? I wasn't going to take advantage of her. Of course I wanted her. But not like this. Not when she thought I was only doing it to forget about someone else. Not when she was drunk out of her mind.
She didn't really mean anything she said, but it still made my blood boil. She didn't know shit about me. I pushed my hair out of my face. Didn't she realize that I was being the bigger person? All I wanted to do was push her up against the wall and fuck her. I didn't care about the people around us. But I did care about her. Which is exactly why I didn't do that. I was trying to be respectful. And her reaction? To throw accusations at me.
So, fuck her. I didn't need this. Forgetting for one night had seemed like a good idea. But there was no forgetting. I turned away from the stage.
I had given up because I did love Penny. Not because I was a coward. Not because I needed to grow a pair. But because I wanted Penny to be happy. And she was happier without me. No one needed me. Hailey certainly didn't need me.
The beat to Toxic by Britney Spears started pumping through the restaurant. I let my eyes gravitate to the stage. Hailey was swaying her hips to the music staring directly at me.
"Baby, can't you see, I'm calling," she sang with a flip of her hair. "A guy like you should wear a warning. It's dangerous, I'm fallin'."
She was definitely wasted. But I couldn't seem to look away. Not when she was so blatantly singing at me. Albeit angrily, still directed at me. She dipped her hips low and shook her ass at the crowd. What was she trying to do to me?
"With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride. You're toxic, I'm slippin' under." She shimmied. "With a taste of a poison paradise." Her hips swayed again.
She was the sexiest girl I had ever laid eyes on. And for a second I did forget about Penny. I let myself get completely lost in the beautiful brunette running her fingers through her hair in the most sexual way possible.
"I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?" She ran her fingers down her neck and between her breasts. "Intoxicate me now. With your lovin' now."
She was wrong. She was the toxic one. And I was in a little over my head.
She dropped the mic on the ground and threw her hands up in the air to the sound of the roaring applause. She slowly made her way back over to me. The flirtatious nature of the song was over. She was now giving me death stares.
"I told you to go get my bag. We're done." She gestured between the two of us as she sat down in the booth.
"How about you sleep on it?"
"Tyler Stevens, you're toxic and I want nothing to do with you."
"That's not what the lyrics mean."
"Yes it is."
"No. They're about how you love the toxicity. About how badly you want it."
"You're so full of yourself." She closed her eyes a
nd leaned her head on the back of the booth. "I don't want you. I was trying to make you feel better."
I ignored her comment. She had definitely wanted me a few minutes ago. Maybe it was the tequila talking, or maybe it was something more. Either way, tonight was definitely not the night to talk about it.
"Let's go sleep off the alcohol at the hotel," I said.
She groaned.
"Hails?"
Her head dropped slightly so that her chin was almost resting on her chest. I swore I heard a light snore.
I shook my head as I stood up. Despite what she thought, she did need me. I put my hand on her shoulder. "Hails?"
She snored again.
I leaned down and picked her up in my arms. She felt so light. I ignored the people staring at me as I carried her out of the restaurant. They had all seen me singing with her earlier. Besides, I had no intention of taking advantage of her. If I had, I would have given in when her lips were on mine. She snuggled her face against my chest.
***
I kicked the door of the hotel room open with my foot and turned the light switch on with my shoulder. I had told myself it made sense for us to share a room again. Just for the sake of safety. If she started throwing up, it would be better if I was with her. But I had at least gotten two beds this time.
She sighed against my chest. "You smell like freshly cut grass," she whispered. "And toothpaste."
I smiled as I carried her over to the first bed. I pulled the covers back and laid her down.
She moaned and rolled over. She was wearing a tank top and cutoff jean shorts. It probably wasn't the most comfortable outfit to sleep in, but I wasn't about to undress her. I grabbed her flip flops, tossed them on the floor, and pulled the covers up around her.
"Can you hold me?" she whispered. "Just for a second?"
Something constricted in my chest. I tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Get some sleep, Hails."
She closed her eyes tight and turned away from me.
I so badly wanted to give her what she wanted. When we had danced earlier, it felt like her body fit perfectly against mine. But if I climbed into that bed with her, I was afraid it would turn into something more. After one last glance at her, I went to the bathroom.
