by S. H. Kolee
Aunt Brenda took a deep breath before continuing. "We can also hypnotize one another. When seers are hypnotized, we can reveal things that we aren't even conscious of. It's as if we sink deeper into our sights, to see more than we realize. Sometimes a seer under hypnosis can predict what's going to happen to a person that they've had a vision of, beyond just their death. But it's dangerous to be hypnotized and you need several seers to do it properly."
"Why is it dangerous?" I asked.
"There have been times a seer hasn't been able to come out of hypnosis. It's much deeper than a normal hypnosis that a psychiatrist might put a patient under. There needs to be enough seers present to pool their energy to pull the seer out of it."
I paused, letting this new fact sink in. I didn't like the sound of hypnosis. I had enough problems with the visions I already had.
"How do you know for sure once a person has been killed by their vardoger?" I asked. "Do they look different somehow?"
"For all intents and purposes, they look exactly the same. The only way to tell is to look into their eyes when you say their name. You'll see their pupils dilate until their irises are practically gone. It's quick and you have to be paying attention, but it's there. We're lucky that they at least have this tell."
I thought about Claudia's vardoger in my vision, how its eyes had looked black instead of Claudia's light grey.
I then thought about my vardoger.
"You said you had a vision of my vardoger killing me. How did it happen?"
Aunt Brenda hesitated before speaking. "You were being burned alive."
I shuddered as I thought about the vision of Claudia being burned alive. I then thought about the night of Jenny's birthday party, when I thought I had heard Claudia asking for help and the smell of a fire. Was I mistaken? Did it have something to do with me and my vardoger?
"But I'm safe, right? As long as I sleep with my iridium?"
Aunt Brenda nodded. "Most seers have vardogers that want to overtake their body. Fortunately we have protection against them. Something other people don't have."
I thought about Simon sitting outside in the car. I tensed as I suddenly remembered Simon's eyes when we had been in his bedroom yesterday. His eyes had looked almost black during our embrace. I had thought they had darkened with passion. Was it possible that he had been overtaken by his vardoger? The thought made my insides clench painfully. I reminded myself that I hadn't had a vision of Simon's spirit leaving his body. I could still save him.
"I've had a vision of my friend."
"The one outside?"
"Yes."
Aunt Brenda looked at me sympathetically, which made me fearful. "But the vision changed. I've only had it twice, and it's been like the ones I had before. Where I'm just watching a scene. But there was a change in the second one."
I explained to her about the shower curtain and how it had appeared in the second vision. It was a relief to be able to tell someone everything. Even if Aunt Brenda's eyes were getting larger and larger as I continued to explain what happened.
"So the shower curtain you bought with your friend, after you had the first vision, appeared in the second vision?"
I nodded. "What does that mean?"
"Caitlin, I'm sorry. You came here for answers and I don't have them. You seem to be experiencing things I've never encountered. I don't want to tell you what it may be because they're just guesses."
"Guesses are better than what I have now. Which is nothing."
"When are you leaving to go back to Rochester? Today?"
I nodded. "Yes. I was planning on staying until this evening, but now...I need to get back to school. Just to make sure that there's still not a chance to save Claudia." There were still so many questions I wanted to ask Aunt Brenda. I wanted to know when she had experienced her first visions. I wanted her to tell me why this was happening to me. I wanted to ask her how it was possible to live a life centered on killing shadows. But I knew that I couldn't be selfish. Not anymore. If there was a chance to save Claudia, I needed to try. There would be time for more questions later.
"I understand," my aunt replied gently. "I'm going to consult my inner circle today. Can I call you tonight with whatever I learn?"
"Of course. Call me any time. Please call me even if it's to tell me you don't know anything."
Aunt Brenda smiled at me sadly. "Of course. Caitlin, I wish there was time to talk about other things. About your life. What you're doing. I've wondered about you so much all these years. It seems so unfair that all our time has been spent on the evilness of this world."
I impulsively grasped my aunt's hand, squeezing lightly. "Maybe once we get this figured out, we can talk. I'd love to learn more about my mother."
Aunt Brenda looked grateful for the touch. "Of course. I'd be happy to tell you everything I know."
I glanced at my watch. "Now I have to go. Even if there's a slim chance, I have to find Claudia as soon as possible."
My aunt walked me to the door and gave me a quick tentative hug, as if she expected me to pull away. I hugged her back, needing her warmth and affection at the moment. When we pulled apart, she looked curious.
"How's George? Your father?"
I shrugged, not sure what to say about my father. "He's good, I guess. We don't talk that often."
Aunt Brenda looked at me as if she understood. "George was always...difficult. Even as a child. He always seemed disappointed that people didn't meet the impossibly high standards he set for everyone. Including me. I hope you know that it has more to do with him than anyone else."
I nodded, not having anything else to say. Even though her words rang true, it was hard to grow up with a father like mine and not think there was something lacking in yourself.
My aunt paused before opening the front door. She reached into her pocket, drawing out a coin. She held my hand up, placing it in my palm and closing my fingers over it.
"My grandmother gave this to me. You're great grandmother. She was an amazing seer with special powers. You remind me so much of her. This coin is made of iridium. It used to be her charm to destroy vardogers. I want you to have it."
I wanted to ask her about my great grandmother. About my grandmother. About everyone on my father's side of the family. But I told myself there would be time for that later. I had more urgent things to address. But my aunt's gift still touched me. Suddenly, I had a family member that seemed to care.
"Thank you. Thank you so much."
Aunt Brenda gave me a solemn smile as she opened the front door. I walked out and seeing Simon waiting for me was both comforting and terrifying. My aunt looked at Simon sitting in the car and waved at him. I watched him wave back with a smile.
"How'd it go?" Simon asked when I slipped into the passenger seat. He started backing out of the driveway after my aunt closed the front door.
I thought of all the things I could say. About how his vardoger was trying to overtake his body. How Claudia's vardoger probably already had. But all I could say was, "Good."
"Great," Simon beamed. "You'll have to tell me all about it over lunch."
"Simon," I said, and looked deep in his eyes, terrified that I would see his pupils dilate and his eyes turn black. I was relieved when his clear blue eyes looked back at me.
"Hmm?" he responded as he pulled out of the driveway.
Now I had another problem to tackle. I didn't know how I was going to insist we go back to Rochester right away. "Can we head back to school now?"
"What?" Simon said in confusion, his eyebrows drawing together. "You want to go back to Maxwell now? We were planning on heading back around six. We have plenty of time."
"I'm sorry to do this but I really have to go back now." I scrambled to come up with a believable excuse. "I completely forgot about this assignment I have due tomorrow. I just remembered it. I don't know how it slipped my mind. I really have to go back to school and work on it."
Simon glanced at me, not seeming to know what to think. "
You just remembered this assignment?"
"Yes!" I said, a little too eagerly. "I've...I've been having so many nightmares that I haven't been getting much sleep. And it's making me forget things. I know it's so stupid of me. I'm so sorry. Maybe if there's a train station, I can just catch one back."
Simon's gaze softened. "You're not stupid. You must be exhausted from lack of sleep. I hope one day you can trust me enough to tell me about your nightmares." He said the last part with a meaningful look.
I nodded my head, willing to agree to anything at this point to get me back to Rochester. "I will. Someday. Right now I just have to get back to school."
On the drive home, Simon called Grant to let him know we were leaving early. Apparently, Grant was having a miserable time at home and he was more than happy to leave early. I suspected it was because Sarah hadn't gone with him.
When we got back to Simon's house, Sarah had given up on watching movies and was just moping in her room. She jumped at the chance to go back earlier than planned.
Simon's father was back at the office working again so we weren't able to say goodbye to him. His mother and sister were disappointed we were leaving early but were understanding. I apologized profusely for my forgetfulness. They assured me repeatedly that it was fine, Kendra gleefully reminding us that she would be coming to visit Simon soon.
We packed up our things quickly and soon we were back on the road, having swung by Grant's house to pick him up. The tension was thick in the backseat and the conversation was stilted. I couldn't help saying Simon's name every now and then, just to search his eyes to make sure I could still see his clear blue eyes. It was completely different from the mood of the drive down to Connecticut just a couple of days ago. It was amazing what a few days and some killer shadows could do to dampen a mood.
CHAPTER TWENTY
It was a relief to finally make it back home and escape the tension of the car. It was six o'clock and just starting to get dark when Simon pulled into our driveway. He took my suitcase and Sarah's out of the trunk and bounded up the stairs with them. Sarah and I followed him while Grant grabbed his bag and went into his apartment, slamming the door behind him.
Sarah immediately went to the bathroom after we entered the apartment and Simon set our suitcases by the door. Simon and I stood by the open door awkwardly. All of our easy affection and banter from before last night had vanished. Luckily, I didn't have to worry about Simon wanting to stay because the boys were headed to the East End. Grant had called Joel and told him they were coming home early and asked if he wanted them to play tonight. Joel had jumped at the chance, sorely missing the crowd the band brought in, so Simon had to head down to the bar after dropping us off.
"Thanks for coming home with me this weekend," Simon said, breaking the silence.
"Thanks for inviting me. I had a great time," I replied quietly, staring at the collar of Simon's jacket instead of his eyes. "Sorry that we had to leave early."
Simon reached out to cup my cheek, shifting it gently so that I was looking at him. He smiled at me sweetly. "Don't worry about it. I have enough great memories of this past weekend. A few hours don't matter."
My heart physically ached at his words. Simon was being so sweet and understanding. He didn't realize yet that there would be nothing between us. I couldn't risk putting Simon in any more danger than he already was. My only connection to him would be trying to save him from his vardoger. After that, I would have to sever all ties with him. I had a feeling that it would take more than a fake boyfriend named Bob to make that happen.
"Well, have a good show." I didn't know what else to say.
Simon leaned down and kissed me gently. I knew I should pull away but I promised myself that this would be the last kiss. I wanted one last kiss to remember. I allowed myself to respond and Simon pressed in closer, our lips clinging to each other as he deepened the kiss.
I slowly pulled back and my heart clutched as Simon smiled at me. I wished that he would always look at me with love shining in his eyes, but I knew that was impossible.
"The only thing I'll be thinking about onstage is that kiss."
I bit my lip, not knowing how to answer. Simon brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. "Call me when you're done with your assignment. No matter how late it is."
I nodded, not knowing whether I would call him or not. Even though I couldn't pursue a relationship with him, I still needed to keep in contact with him until I was able to destroy his vardoger.
Simon left, closing the door behind him. Sarah came out of the bathroom and flopped down on the couch, turning on the TV.
"That was one uncomfortable car ride," I said. "How are you?"
Sarah shrugged, flicking through the channels on the television. "I'm okay. I'm just glad to be home."
As much as I wanted to comfort Sarah, I had more pressing things to do. Like try and save Claudia. I had texted Jenny on the drive up, asking her for Claudia's number with the excuse of having everyone over for dinner next week and wanting to invite Claudia. It was a weak reason but Jenny seemed to accept it without question. Probably because she had no reason to think I would lie.
I left Sarah to mope in the living room, watching a sappy movie on Lifetime, and closed my bedroom door behind me. I dialed Claudia's number and nervously waited for her to pick up.
She picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"
"Hi. Claudia?"
"This is Claudia."
"Claudia, this is Caitlin." I sounded tentative and I cleared my throat, trying to sound as normal as possible. "Jenny's friend? Er, Simon's friend too."
"Oh, hi Caitlin!" Claudia's voice brightened with recognition.
"Hi." I wondered how many times I was going to say hi. "I know this is kind of sudden, but I was wondering if we could meet up. There's...something I want to discuss with you, but I think it's best if we meet in person."
"Sure," Claudia replied, but she sounded far from sure. She sounded suspicious and I took this as a good sign. A normal person would wonder why a relative stranger would call up, demanding to see them. Although I had no idea how a vardoger would react, for comparison's sake.
I was relieved that I didn't have to say more to convince her to meet up with me. "Great. Can you meet me on the quad? Do you know where Downing Hall is? We could meet at the steps."
"I know where that is. What time do you want to meet?"
I checked my watch and saw that it was six-fifteen. "Is six forty-five okay? I know it's only half an hour from now but..."
"It's fine," Claudia replied, although she sounded guarded. I wondered if she thought I was going to start a cat fight with her over Simon. God, I hoped so. I would be ecstatic if that was my biggest problem.
"Great. I really appreciate you meeting up with me. See you soon."
Claudia hung up without replying and I grabbed the coat I had just slipped off and thrown on my bed, pulling it back on. I grabbed my backpack, thinking I'd use the library as an excuse as to why I was leaving the apartment.
"I'm heading out to the library to work on my assignment," I said, passing Sarah laying on the couch. Sarah nodded without much enthusiasm. I paused before opening the front door. "Will you be okay?"
Sarah gave a heavy sigh. "It just sucks that I'm in the dumps over a relationship that didn't even exist." She looked over at me standing by the door. "I'm going to head over to the East End later with Jenny."
I raised an eyebrow and Sarah gave a snort. "I know what you're thinking. And it's not to see Grant." I didn't say a word but looked at her in disbelief. "Seriously, I'm not going because I want see Grant. The East End is our bar. I'm not going to stop going there just because Grant's playing there. And Simon and Marcus are still my friends. I'm not going to let this crap with Grant affect that."
"I'm sorry, you're right. You deserve to hang out at the East End just as much as Grant. And it won't hurt to see him miserable either."
Sarah smiled, but her eyes still looked sad. "Too bad Grant
couldn't figure out that he would be miserable without me before it was too late." She shook her head, as if to clear out the funk she was in. "Anyways, try not to have too much fun at the library. And come out if you get finished at a decent hour. I'll probably still be there even at an indecent hour, so head on over either way."
"Maybe," I replied, but I knew there was no way I was going to the East End tonight.
The walk to campus was blustery and cold and I tightened the collar of my coat closer around my neck. It was already dark and despite the numerous lights on campus for safety, it didn't dispel the gloom of the night.
When I reached the steps of Downing Hall, I still had fifteen minutes to spare since it was a quick walk from our apartment. I sat down on the steps and surveyed the campus. There were a few students hurrying across campus, but it was relatively quiet. Most students were at home now or at the bars, mourning the end of the weekend and dreading the coming Monday. I wished there were more people around, although that was a false safety. What could they do to help me against a vardoger? They'd just look at me like I was crazy if I told them a shadow was after me.
I saw a figure hurrying towards me and recognized Claudia's short blonde hair. She was smiling as she approached me and I stood, watching her. She looked completely normal.
"Caitlin!" she called out. She stopped just short of me, her breath coming out in misty puffs in the cold air. "It's freezing! It probably wasn't a good idea to meet outside. How long have you been waiting? You must be so cold!"
I realized I didn't even feel the cold. Fear seemed to be a good way to keep warm.
