“I—I—” I couldn’t string two words together. She called us out on our actions, which made me feel like I was being scolded.
“Mack, you know me.” Jason sidled over to her and smiled a sheepish grin. “It was nothing. We played the game and the pledges got horny. If you ask me, that’s on them, not Kate and I. Right, Kate?”
“Yeah, right.” I was so glad he answered. He winked and I knew he really did answer for me. He was quick and picked up on my hesitation. Jumped right in when I needed him to.
Just then a provocative beat resonated off the plaster walls and apparently it was a house favorite. Jack, Jason, Charlie, Ryan and Shawn met in the center of the dance floor and put on a show that had most of the females panting within the first ten seconds. The boys could dance. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever witnessed so much sexy in one place. And when they tossed their togas and danced shirtless in basketball shorts, I, for one, thought I’d die. And if I did, I’d die happy. Ally, Emily, Hayden, MacKenna, Jules and I whooped and hollered from where we stood. When the song was over, we all crashed their little ensemble and danced our asses off for who knows how many hours. Jason and I had a couple sexy moments together. He couldn’t keep his hands off me but was respectful the whole time. So much so that I actually wished his hand would drop a little lower than my waist.
“Guys, I’m beat. Who’s ready to go?” Ally yawned and rubbed her eyes.
“Mack, you staying here?” Hayden motioned with her head toward Jack.
“Yeah, but you girls promise me you’re sticking together on the walk home.” MacKenna looked at each one of us in the eyes, one at a time.
“I’d be happy to walk you all home.” Jason scratched his head and looked a tiny bit shy for a split second. That was an emotion something I hadn’t seen in him prior to that moment.
“Um, sure.” Jules looked back and forth between Hayden and MacKenna.
“Would you like me to walk you home, Kate?” Something about a guy who could stay where he was and have his pick of any of the hundred drunk girls offering to walk home a group of girls he had no shot with was more than sweet. It was freaking sexy.
“I’d like that, Jason.” Someone, one of my girls, nudged me right in the middle of my back. I dared not react for fear Jason would think we were all stupid nerds getting giddy over him.
I never would have guessed how hard Jason could make us all laugh on the way home that night. He spent the entire walk back to Webster Hall acting out each type of college student that inhabited every corner of the U of M campus. I would never walk to class the same. I’d giggle until my graduation day when I saw any one of the quite possibly fifty types Jason acted out.
He wasn’t being mean—that was clear. It was just hysterical to see him transform from his version of a stoner party kid to what he called a cheerleader wannabe—ya know, the girls that can find something to be excited about no matter what the situation.
“What?! You failed Bio Chem? Girl, you know what that means? Right? That class is the furthest corner of campus from our dorm. You make that trek every day for another semester and you’ll be skinnier than me! Bitch! Never mind! I hate you!” That in itself was funny, but to add the wannabe voice and then actually see it coming out of Jason’s mouth was enough to turn me inside out.
“Jason, how is it you don’t have a girlfriend?” Hayden spoke up in a way that wasn’t typical for her.
“Oh, ya know, we axe murderers tend to scare off the ladies.” He did his best scary murderer face and we all cracked up again.
My stomach muscles were sore by the time we got to our dorm. Ally, Hayden, Jules and Emily thanked Jason and quickly darted through the door, letting it slam closed and lock behind them. I knew why they didn’t hold it for me. I was onto them. It would force me to take the time to dig out my ID, which was tucked discreetly in my bra, which would give Jason and me a couple seconds longer alone.
“I had a lot of fun tonight. Thanks for making sure I was on your team.” I took advantage of Jason looking up and waving at some guys who called his name to quickly fish out my ID.
“I had fun, too, Kate. You’ll have to come out to the house again. Soon.” He scratched his head and did the shy thing again for a millisecond.
Oh, God. He wants to kiss me. What would Oliver think? It was only the second time I’d thought of Oliver all night. I was sure it was mostly the amount of alcohol I’d consumed paired with the constant activity that kept my mind in the present. But, it was at that moment I also realized, I wanted Jason to kiss me.
Like the awkward four-second lean-in you see in every eighties movie, Jason and I leaned in for what I thought would be a typical first kiss. A quick peck. But, Jason’s hands pressed gently against my jawline as he brought my face to his. And what I thought would be a somewhat awkward, unfamiliar kiss was instead tender, almost familiar and soft. No tongue. Jason was trustworthy and respectable. And, I’ll be damned if it didn’t leave me wanting more.
“So, you didn’t answer Hayden’s question.” I looked up at him through my sleepy eyes.
“Question?” He shoved his hands in his pockets and licked me off his lips.
“How do you not have a girlfriend?”
“That’s a conversation for another night, Kate. You can barely keep your eyes open.” He tapped me on the nose with the tip of his finger.
“Yeah, I’m not sure I won’t pass out before I even get under my covers.” I smiled and pulled him in for a hug. His body was hard; he obviously worked out.
“Good night, Kate. I hope we get to spend more time together soon.” He gave me a quick peck.
“Me too, Jason. This was a night I hope I never forget.” I slid my card through the security lock and pushed the door open. “Night.”
I smiled the whole way to my room. I walked in to my radio app still playing on my laptop. Oliver’s soft, sad voice and the snowball of a lie filled my room. I succumbed to the guilt and sadness. And unfortunately, all the fun I had at the party soon was just a memory. Real life sucked me back in.
I sat down on my bed. My head swam in alcohol and my lips still buzzed with the feeling of Jason’s kiss. I dialed Oliver’s number. It was time to tell him the truth and if he hated me, then maybe I would give whatever this was with Jason a shot.
“The number you have reached is no longer in service. Please check the number and dial again.”
I immediately dialed again. Same recording played in my ear.
I went to Twitter but he hadn’t posted anything recently. I could DM him but the longer I thought about it, the more I realized telling Oliver the truth while I was drunk probably wasn’t the best idea I ever had.
Just then he tweeted:
OliverPh5: To the person who leaked my phone number… Thanks! *insert sucker punch, here* oh yeah, and a big, fat FUCK YOU!
Eleven
After the week I had, prior to the Beta Sig party, I was thanking God, Jesus, Mary and Joseph for Friday. I just had to get through Psychology without strangling my project partner to get to the weekend.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I thought we would check in with each group and see how your projects are going. I find it beneficial to get feedback from your peers at this stage of planning.”
It was interesting seeing all the different directions the groups were going with the general theme of fame. And the three or so afflictions each team had chosen to go along with their main idea were fascinating—some I didn’t even know existed. I jotted down a couple notes on disorders I wanted to research on my own. Yeah, I was a psych geek. But the subject fascinated me and at times it boggled my mind that there were probably disorders no one had even uncovered yet. There was still so much unknown territory in the field and that was a geekified turn-on.
I decided to take the lead with our synopsis of our project so that Gretchen couldn’t promise something we couldn’t deliver. I knew I couldn’t trust her as far as I could throw her, and I’d love to throw her. Off a cliff. Into an ocean. Of r
avenous flesh-eating organisms.
I could barely tolerate even the sound of her voice since she cut off all contact I had with Oliver. I was no longer the middleman between them. I could no longer filter what info I gave her. She eventually admitted to changing Lexi’s contact info the day she and Oliver sat in Moose’s van behind The Diner while he waited for takeout. She’d asked him to see the pics in his phone and while she supposedly looked at pics, she went into his contacts and replaced my number with hers.
“Miss Green, Miss Adler. Would you share the direction of your project?”
“Of course.” I spoke up before Gretchen had a chance. “I think we all agree that those who are famous within the entertainment industry are also intensely creative. We are researching creativity and its link to mental health by examining the psychiatric morbidity stress profile. Our focus is the music industry.”
“Wow, ladies. This is quite impressive. Tell us more, please.”
“Creative people are typically unconventional thinkers.” Gretchen spoke clearly and everything about her body language commanded attention. “They’re highly motivated and intense.” One could argue it was just the perky breasts that stuck out of the neckline of her top that commanded attention.
“Tell us more about that, Gretchen.” Professor Woods was intrigued by our topic and not Gretchen’s boobs and for that, I was thrilled. I let Gretchen continue simply because he’d asked her directly.
“There’s a quote, we have it in our notes, I can’t remember who said it but it says, ‘there’s no great genius without some touch of madness.’”
“It was Lucius Annaeus Seneca, a Roman statesman.” I interjected.
“Impressive, Miss Green.” Professor Woods nodded at me, then at Gretchen to continue.
“We’ve found there’s an increased rate of schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, personality disorders and alcoholism among musicians. We’ve also found that the emotional instability of musicians can work for them in their craft. It can provide them with fierce motivation. They can easily become inspired by things most of us overlook. Their imagination and unconventionality gives them the ability to weave lyrics and music in a way that helps them and their fans translate the human condition.”
“All right, I am excited to see your findings. Who has questions for Gretchen and Kate?” Professor Woods walked around to the front of his desk and sat on its edge. He crossed his ankles and pointed to Joseph, a kid who always sat in the back of the room.
“Are you planning on focusing on any particular musicians or genres of music?” He looked directly at me, so I answered.
“We are currently trying to pair afflictions with musicians in various genres that span the time from the eighteenth century to the present.”
“Don’t you think it would be more interesting to focus on current musicians?” Joseph, whose ear buds hung out from the neckline of his Metallica t-shirt, waited for my answer.
“We’ve discussed this at length, and where we see a benefit to shrinking our focus down to a shorter timeframe for the enjoyment of the class, we thought it would be fascinating to show musicians born two centuries apart struggling with the same maladies. Like, Beethoven and Kurt Cobain, who both struggled with bipolar disorder.”
Joseph nodded.
“Well, I have to say, I am thrilled with the topics you’ve all chosen for your projects and I’m looking forward to seeing these as they progress. Don’t forget there’s an interview portion that none of you touched on. You will need to interview someone that is in some way connected to your topic or theme.”
“Oh, we have access to someone I can interview.” Gretchen’s voice was low and sultry and intended for just my ears.
“Oh, please tell me it’s Oliver Walt and he’s coming as part of your presentation.” My head spun to the right and by the look on her face when our eyes met, Colette thought I was shooting daggers at her. It was obvious she didn’t realize she wasn’t supposed to hear Gretchen’s comment.
“What? Why would you think that?” I tried to keep my voice calm but in my head I screamed my question at her.
“I was right behind Gretchen at the Billabong Festival. He sang that one song right to her.” She turned her attention from me to Gretchen. “Someone said they saw you head around the back of the stage after he collapsed. And please don’t think I’m a stalker but I’ve been following his tweets. And it totally seems like he met someone at the festival.” My blood boiled.
“Well, I can’t promise anything.” Gretchen turned back around and shot a look at me that was more like a threat. I could hear her voice in my head, Go ahead, dispute the fact that I know him. You can’t. You did this, Kate.
“Well, it would be awesome to have someone to interview from within the industry your topic is focused on, but please don’t think that’s the only type of interview you can secure.
“You could interview one of the counselors at Student Health about a specific disorder, you could interview your roommate if he or she struggles with depression or has some sort of addiction. Just make sure there’s an obvious connection between the interviewee and your specific focus of your paper.” Everyone nodded. I gritted my teeth and had fleeting thoughts of cliffs and piranha. “Okay, it’s Friday, get out of here. Enjoy the day; I hear the Indian summer is over this weekend. Enjoy it while you can.”
We walked out of class and I tried to lose Gretchen. But like every other part of my life she was involved in, she had her talons deeply embedded and she caught up to me in no time.
“We killed it, Kate. But don’t ever talk down to me again.” She flipped her hair and adjusted the strap of her messenger bag on her shoulder.
I stopped dead in my tracks. I’d had all I could take of her. I couldn’t hold it back any longer. It took her three long-legged strides for her to realize I was no longer next to her. She stopped, looked around, cocked her head to the side and walked back to where I stood.
“What’s the matter?” She was close enough that I could actually smell her last coat of lip gloss.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I rarely swore, but I rarely committed murder, too, and I thought swearing was a little more reasonable.
“Chill, Kate. Why are you so moody?” The look on her face was so sincere. Could she really be that stupid? Then a sly grin curled the corner of her mouth. She knew exactly why I was pissed and her condescending attitude had pushed me far enough.
“You bitch! You know exactly why I’m pissed at you. I purposely didn’t give you Oliver’s number because his trust is very important to me and I promised him I would guard it with my life.” I stomped my foot because my whispered rant didn’t release enough of my pent-up anger. The stomp was simply to alleviate the feeling that my chest would explode.
“Oh, right, because you’re so trustworthy, Kate. But, you lied to him. And, you made him fall for someone who wasn’t even real.”
“You know I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell him the truth, Gretchen. You taking my number out of his phone only made that more difficult. And you continuing to pretend to be Lexi doesn’t do anything but keep that lie growing. If you care so much about him, why are you playing into this charade?”
She took one small step toward me. We were almost toe to toe. “To get what I want, Kate.”
“And what’s that, Gretchen?”
She raised one eyebrow. Her lips parted but it wasn’t her voice I heard.
“My two favorite U of M ladies in one place. I love it.” Oliver’s accent sent at tingle from my chest to a spot deep in my belly. Gretchen and I turned slowly to see our favorite Brit leaning from the passenger-side window of Moose’s van, hair pulled up into a man bun and his pretty face hidden behind the overly large, white-rimmed circle lenses of gaudy costume sunglasses.
“My ride is here.” Gretchen didn’t even look at me but strutted in a “fuck you” way straight over to the back door of the van. She flipped her hair and glared at me as she climbed in and slamme
d the door, which, thanks to the tinted window, blocked my view of her.
Good riddance.
“Kate, come here for a moment.” Oliver smiled sweetly then curled his finger and invited me to his window.
“Hi.” My voice was timid and shy but I was near tears out of sheer frustration with Gretchen.
“How would you like to go to dinner with us this evening?” He slid his glasses down his nose a little, just like he had the night we spent lying on the blanket in the quad. A night Gretchen knew nothing about. I puffed up my chest a little.
Before Gretchen had time to object, I answered. “I’d love to, Oliver. Thank you for inviting me.” I looked back at the tinted window that separated Gretchen and me and smiled as sincerely as I could, which wasn’t very, but nothing Oliver would have picked up on.
“Great. We’re dining in D.C. so it will be quite fancy. We’ll pick you up from your dorm at eight.”
“Sounds perfect. See you at eight.” I smiled my most saintly smile. Oliver held a big part of my heart whether he knew it or not. Whether he knew me or not. He used to know me as Lexi, now he knew me as Kate. I just wished I could combine the two without breaking his heart and making him question whom he could trust.
****
Me: MacKenna! I need an outfit. Help!
I knew I wouldn’t have to explain. I waited less than five minutes and there was a knock at my door. MacKenna, Hayden, Jules and Emily stood at my door, each holding a different outfit for me to try on.
“Where’s Ally?” I was so used to seeing them all together, it was a glaring void when one of them was missing.
“She’s on a date with Ryan tonight.”
We all ooooooohed like middle-schoolers.
“So, I guess MacKenna’s setup with the team captains the other night worked out for her.” I smiled and motioned for them all to come in. They tossed the outfits over the back of my desk chair and then piled themselves on my bed as best they could. Mack tossed a pile of clothes next to her for me to choose from.
When I Lied Page 13
