Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

by Ali Parker

  The drive to work was quick and she was glad for the opportunity to immerse herself in files and client requests. Her business was booming and yet she hadn't taken full advantage of all of the requests Trisha had laid on her desk the last few weeks. Most of the clients were more than willing to pay handsomely for her time in locating them the perfect place for a vacation home in Maine, but she needed to clone herself to get to all of them.

  ***

  Trisha looked up as Lisa walked in, the absence of the bell a stark reminder of how much it would have helped Thursday night.

  "Why're you here? It's the weekend." Lisa stopped in front of the desk as Trisha stood.

  "I have guys painting the house today, so I figured I'd just come up here to be with you," Trisha responded.

  "But I don't usually come into the office on Saturdays." Lisa chuckled, the older woman a delight simply because she cared and showed it on a regular basis.

  "I checked our schedule and realized you had a showing. How are you? You look like hell."

  "I've been better." Lisa glanced over her shoulder. "Go ahead and put that damn bell back up there. Someone walked in on me Thursday night and I swear I almost had a heart attack."

  "Was it that handsome billionaire?"

  "It was." Lisa walked around the desk and down the hall. "I'm going to work for a few hours and head out."

  "Okay. There's a message on your desk from yesterday afternoon from that same billionaire. He's hoping you'll join him for dinner tonight." Trisha's voice was sing-song and Lisa couldn't help but smile. If there was a way to set Trisha up with Michael, life would be righted. Trisha would be happy and Lisa wouldn't have the burden of trying to work through her hang-ups in front of a guy that she knew without a doubt was perfect for her.

  Too bad Trisha could be Michael's mother in an alternate universe. She walked toward the break room, grateful that Trisha had decided to come into work before the sun came up, and on the weekend. The coffee was already brewed and filled her senses as she poured herself a large cup.

  She would need to call Michael a little later in the day and tell him that dinner was a go. Unfortunately, she would need to decide between now and then if she were going to work toward giving him a try at her heart, or if she was going to back away until she felt more healed, more whole. Marc had done a job on her and she wasn't willing to let anyone ever get that close again.

  Hopefully Michael would understand.

  If not... it would be their last dinner.

  ***

  The house was white brick and Victorian style. The massive structure reminded her of a classic movie, the trees and pebble driveway perfectly matched to the home. Lisa parked her car and slipped out, walking with her chin lifted and her sunglasses snugly on her face. A couple, around her age, turned as she approached and extended her hand.

  "I'm Lisa Parks. The real estate agent for the home." She pulled her glasses off and smiled, shaking hands with the woman and then the man. He held her gaze and her hand a moment too long, but she politely pulled it from him and moved between them to open the house.

  The smell of vanilla and pine rushed to greet them, a cool breeze from the air conditioner welcoming. Lisa reached up and ran her fingers through her long copper hair before setting her stuff on the kitchen table and turning toward them.

  "Well, let me show you the house and then you can ask any questions you might have."

  "Sounds great," the man spoke up, his blue eyes moving across her face and dipping down to her chest. Lisa smiled politely and moved into the kitchen, extending her hands and starting the show.

  They moved room to room, the woman asking an exorbitant number of questions, but the home was over a million dollars. Lisa expected the neediness of the customers to increase marginally with the value of the homes they were looking at. She finished up in the bedroom, the master bathroom being a favorite of the couple. Lisa couldn't help but imagine the huge garden tub filled with bubbles, hot water and a certain sexy guy that seemed to haunt her without fail.

  "Honey, go check out the view from the kids’ rooms one more time and make sure this is what you want before we have Miss Parks draw up the papers for us." The man nodded toward Lisa as he walked toward her. "How much room do you have to go down?"

  His wife left and Lisa shook her head. "None. We have six couples viewing this house this week. There is no wiggle room available yet."

  "Too bad. I love it, but it's a little out of our range for a vacation home." He stopped in front of her before turning and looking over his shoulder. He glanced back at Lisa, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. "I see you're not wearing a ring. Shame really."

  "Why is it a shame that I'm not tied down to the same person for the rest of my life?" Two could play his game. Someone should kick the naughty bastard for letting his eyes roll over her for the entirety of the tour. The fact that his wife didn't seem to take notice was half the reason the guy was probably doing it. She was far more interested in the texture of the walls, the shine of the sterling silver, the grain pattern of the floors. Love was messy and could easily leave one or both people involved stuck in a relationship that had no feeling, no flair, no passion anymore.

  Maybe Marc leaving was for the better. Just sucked like hell that it didn't feel that way.

  "I couldn't agree more. It's a shame because you're far too beautiful not to have someone hold you at night."

  "And if I don't like to be held?" Lisa lifted her eyebrow before turning to pull a few papers from her bag. His voice was closer than she expected when he spoke again.

  "What do you like done to you late at night, Miss Parks?"

  She zipped up her bag and looked over her shoulder at the handsome man, shrugging and walking toward the open door. "Like all single girls, I like to be fucked. What else is there?"

  ***

  It was a hateful blow. She shouldn't have teased the poor guy back at the house showing, but he seemed to think he was going to move in and gain some side action with Lisa. Shit wasn't happening. Never, would she be someone's mistress. Sleeping with an unmarried man and having him dote on her was one thing, but having to play second to a man's wife would never happen.

  "Don't you look stunning?" Michael stood as Lisa walked into the quaint restaurant, her stomach tight with knots over having to make a decision. She wasn't interested in a long-term relationship and Michael very much seemed to be. She was hoping that if anything, the conversation would turn to them and that Michael would agree to keep things casual.

  But could she really do that? Casual meant sex on a whim and vacations. It meant long nights of trying to remember to moan the right name.

  Lisa extended her hand as she stifled her thoughts, needing to remain present and dip into the hypothetical madness that had started to consume her thoughts. If there was no chance with Marc then Michael was her next best thing, but what if it was time for a break? There hadn't been a time in her life when she remembered not being with someone. Maybe it was time to just step back and figure out who she was in the midst of the madness.

  "I ordered you a glass of wine." Michael pulled out her chair and she realized that she hadn't really said anything to him in response to his compliment.

  "Thank you. I'm sorry... just trying to sort through some figures in my head from a showing I just finished. Forgive me." She forced a smile and took her seat, lifting up a little to let him scoot her closer to the table.

  "No need to apologize. I love that about you." He moved to take his seat, his smile genuine and welcoming. She almost hated herself for wishing he were someone else. He deserved better.

  "No talking about love or I'll high tail it back to the front of the restaurant and you'll see nothing more than my tail lights." She laughed and pulled her napkin into her lap as the server dropped off the glass of wine. "I'll take another please."

  The server nodded and left as Michael reached over and took her hand. "You want to talk about what's really bothering you?"

  "N
o. I really don't. I want to have a nice dinner with you and figure out how I'm going to tell you that I'm not ready to see anyone right now." Her words shocked her, but they were the truth, whether she wanted to recognize it or not.

  He moved his hand back, slipping it into his lap as his eyes moved across her. "I hate to hear that, but I understand. You know that I would be good for you... good to you, right?"

  "I do. It's not you I'm worried about. I need to shake this love affair I had with Marc off of me, get him out of my system. Until then, I'm honestly not willing to spend time with anyone else. You deserve better than I can give you right now."

  "I want all you can give, no matter how little or large that might be." He tilted his head to the side, the expression on his handsome face calming her nerves. He was so much more than he appeared to be. She could easily see herself being his, but without fail, the need to feel Marc's arms around her, his lips against hers, surged forward and caused her heart to ache.

  "I can't give anything right now. Let me figure this out and if you're still available when I do, and I'm available too, we'll give us a try."

  "You sure I can't twist your arm? You're the centerfold of my fantasies and quickly moving toward being the vision of my future that I'm building in my head."

  "I'm positive, Michael. Hold off on including me in anything until I know I'm emotionally ready to take that step."

  How badly she wished it were Marc who had made such deep promises, spoken such rich words, but it wasn't. He was too young to know how to woo a woman into something more than a lusty event, or was he? She wanted to know, was desperate to find out, but unwilling to be the one to bend.

  How long would her pride hold her in place?

  Chapter 23

  Marc arrived at the club a little late, Dray's vibrant green mustang parked out front already. The place was overflowing with people, the bouncer nodding at Marc as he pushed past the guy arguing with the big guy at the front of the line.

  "Sup, Marc." The bouncer nodded and lifted his hand.

  "Hey buddy. History class mid-term next week. You ready?"

  The guy laughed and flipped Marc off. Marc chuckled and slipped into the sea of people. The club scene had always been so comfortable, so welcoming, but all of a sudden it didn't feel right. Moving around the dance floor, Marc spotted Drayer and a couple of other guys from the basketball team. There were two girls to every guy, which would have been a good sign in the past. Damn if Lisa didn't move across his mind, memories of her groans filling his ears above the wailing of the music.

  He stopped by the bar and ordered two shots and a beer. A pretty brunette to his left winked at him and he nodded in response, not at all interested. He tipped back the first shot and followed it with the second before he could feel the full effects of the burn. He would have a friend take him home if necessary, or call a cab. He was planning on burning away every shitty desire for the feisty redhead who thought him a chump enough to sleep around on him.

  "Heartbreak?" The girl moved closer, her perfume delicious, her smile wide and welcoming.

  "Yep. She doesn't deserve my thoughts and yet she still continues to steal them." He shrugged and tipped his beer back, taking a long drink to cool the fire in his chest.

  "I could help you forget."

  Marc let his eyes run over the pretty girl, her body everything that turned him on. He reached out and touched her chin, pinching it softly as he smiled at her. "I do believe that's true, but I'm looking for a redhead tonight. I need pain over pleasure tonight."

  She mumbled something less than kind as he turned and walked toward his friends. It was nothing new to have women throw their panties at him, but he wasn't in the mood. He needed to be the aggressor, the one who approached and took without giving back. He didn't want any handouts, but wanted to know that if he wanted anyone in the bar, that he still had the skill to get them.

  "There you are buddy. I almost thought you weren't coming." Drayer stood from the table. All of their friends crowded around and walked toward Marc, pulling him into a quick hug and patting his back.

  "I'm here dude. You smell like liquor and sex."

  "Yeah. I've had a few too many and two blond chicks took me in the back room for a quickie. Hottest shit of my adult life." Dray laughed loudly and moved back to the table as Marc followed him.

  "You had something hotter as a kid?" Marc lifted his hand and greeted a few of the basketball guys with high fives. He hugged a few of the girls, their faces familiar from the cheer-leading squad or another sorority they hung with all the time.

  "Fuck you, dude." Drayer pulled up a chair. "Take a load off."

  "Naw... you ain't my type." Marc shrugged and turned to look at Amber, a senior girl who had her eyes on him. "You on the other hand..."

  She laughed and reached out, taking his hand and leading him to the dance floor. He handed his beer to a friend and moved in behind the curvy redhead. Her hair wasn't as dark as Lisa's, and doubtfully her true color, but she would do. He hated himself for wanting to suffer, for living in a dream that would soon become a nightmare if he wasn't careful, but for the moment... it was all he had.

  "I was hoping you would show up." She turned and slid her arms around his neck, her breasts pressing to his chest. He pulled her close and leaned down, licking at his lips and letting his tongue brush against hers as if by accident. Her eyes widened and she lifted to her toes, pressing her lips to Marc's as she moaned.

  It was beyond hot and yet he felt nothing. He returned the surface-level kiss and moved back, spinning her and sliding his hand over her taut stomach, pressing her back against his chest.

  "I make the moves, Amber. You be a good girl and I might give you what you're after," he spoke against her hair, rubbing his crotch against her ass as she leaned back against him.

  Her nod was all he needed to know that she understood and would play by his rules. Lisa would never have agreed. She would have spun around and nipped at his mouth, grabbed his balls and left him panting like a pup after her.

  He glanced up, the bright lights of the strobe ball covering the room in various colors. He rocked his hips, rolling his waist as Amber danced against him. She felt good, the nearness something he needed, but nothing would be able to burn Lisa from his mind.

  "So hot, Marc." Amber glanced over her shoulder, her voice loud and pulling him from his thoughts.

  "You haven't seen anything yet, baby." He slid his hand up her back and pressed his elbow into her as she bent over, continuing to dance. A few others around them glanced over, their expressions filled with the lust Marc wanted to feel. He shifted his movements, his thrusts smooth and mimicking sex as he wrapped his fingers around Amber's hair and pulled back a little.

  The strands of hair around his fingers weren't silky and thick, but brittle and filled with some kind of sticky hair spray. He ignored it, trying so damn hard to get into the moment. He wanted the girl bent below him to be the one he wanted to sink himself into. He needed to take someone to bed, to hear them come beneath him. That would tear away the hold Lisa had on him, reminding him that he was desired and talented in so many ways. Any woman would be lucky to be his. He didn't need to settle for someone who would fuck around on him the minute he turned his back.

  The vision of Lisa bent over in the elevator pressed across his vision, the girl below him no longer a college friend, but the woman of his dreams. Her body moved like liquid sex, her hips rolling in a way that left him panting with need. Her long dark copper strands rolled down her back, moving along her alabaster skin as he fucked her hard from behind.

  A lesson in lust for her, and one in love for him. He had hurt her that day, but she would be the one with the last laugh. He felt the burn of regret wash over him as he bucked into Amber harder, the girl taking everything he had and begging with her movements for more.

  Why wasn't she enough?

  He jerked her up by her hair and released her, spinning her to face him as his hands slid around the slender
column of her neck, tilting her face toward him.

  "You and I are going to the back room and you're going to get down on your knees for me. Aren't you?" he whispered against her mouth, licking at her full lips as she nodded her head, more than willing to do anything he wanted.

  "Good girl." He kissed her hard and jerked from her as he moved through the crowd. The firm grasp he had on her hand only seemed to excite her more as she hurried beside him. She was smart enough not to say anything. If she spoke, the illusion would be broken. The poor girl deserved better than Marc having her suck him off while he pretended that she was Lisa in his mind.

  He almost stopped as they reached the back of the club, his heart beating wildly. Was he making a mistake? He and Lisa weren't together anymore, but damn if it didn't feel like he was the one cheating now. All his desire and need were only for the woman who had effectively stolen his heart, but he had to move on.

  She certainly had.

  "Come on, baby." Amber pressed the door to the women's bathroom open and pulled Marc in, her blue eyes filled with desire. How long had the poor thing been after him? He had put her on her knees a few times over the last four years. Guilt slammed into his chest, anger at his own actions rolling over him.

  "You sure you want this?" he asked as she shut the door behind him. She turned aggressively and pulled him toward her, spinning and slamming him against the locked door.

  "I want anything you're willing to give me."

  "Why do people cheat on each other, Amber?"

  She stood in front of him, the expression on her pretty face that of shock. "What?"

  He reached for her, pulling her flush against him, his hands running down her back and cupping her ass. It wasn't round enough. There wasn't enough for his hands to be filled with. Lisa's ass was beautifully perfect. Why wasn't Amber’s?