Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

by Ali Parker

  "That's not too out of the norm for a guy like Drake, Sis." Johnny pulled his coat onto his shoulders and picked up a set of keys. "I got a new mustang. Let's give it a spin today."

  Maria grabbed her purse and glanced over her shoulder. "Naimen, I'm going with Jon and Sis. I'll be back in a couple of hours, baby. Make sure the kids don't get hurt, eh?"

  "All right." Her husband lifted his hand, but never turned to acknowledge them.

  The boys jumped up from the couch and started to chant at the TV.

  "You guys are ridiculous." Sicily walked to the door and waited for her brother. "Are you sure we should be driving a mustang today? The weather is horrible."

  "It's all good. I wouldn't let anything happen to you. Stop your worrying." He opened the door and moved back. "Maria, you're in the front. Your big ass ain't fitting in the back."

  "Johnny." Sicily slapped him and laughed as Maria slapped him too.

  "Hush, big boy. Just because you steal candy from little kids and pay for your gym membership with it doesn't mean you get to talk shit." Maria wagged her hips as she walked down the stairs. "I'm happy with my size. I'm a woman. I should be curvy."

  She almost fell, but Johnny bolted out on the patio, grabbing her arm and saving her from herself.

  "Damn, Maria. You could have gotten hurt. Be careful. You know how slippery Momma’s steps are. Mario busted his ass a hundred times every winter." Johnny glanced back at Sicily and smiled. "Remember your old boyfriend, Sis?"

  "Shut it." Sicily walked out past them and pushed at her brother, almost losing her footing too.

  Johnny grabbed her and walked down the stairs with both of them in his arms. "You're welcome. Ungrateful bitches."

  "You love us." Maria slapped at him again the minute he put them down.

  "And you're stuck with us." Sicily shrugged and jogged toward the car.

  It was nice to be home, even without Mom there, it still felt like she'd gone back in time. Nothing would be better than to return from shopping and find things as they used to be. Momma in the kitchen and the house smelling like garlic and tomatoes.

  "I miss Mom." Sicily turned as her brother and sister walked up, nodding.

  "We do too, sweetie." Johnny pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "Good thing you remind us so much of her. It's good to have you home."

  "I agree." She glanced up at her brother, not quite sure how to tell him how much his comment meant. Her mom was strong and brave, funny and loving. The full package.

  To be anything like her was a good thing.

  ***

  "What did you do while I was shopping?" Sicily stood beside Drake later that afternoon as he loaded up the truck with her packages.

  "I was taking a nap honestly." He put the last of them in the truck and gave her a look. "What in the world did you get?"

  "Presents for all of our friends and something for you." She shrugged and walked around the truck, getting in on her side.

  He got in and buckled up as the scent of his cologne filled her nose. She breathed in deeper and let out an appreciative growl.

  Drake chuckled. "What was that for?"

  "You smell good."

  "Stop diverting. You shouldn't have gotten all those gifts, baby."

  "Why not? We didn't fly. We'll just put them all in the back seat when we go back home, right?"

  "It's not about where to put them on the ride home, Sis. It's about you spending your hard-earned money on gifts for us. We don't need anything, at least I don't. I have you, baby. That's more than enough." He pulled out his wallet. "Let me give you some money so you can have fun with it."

  "What? No." She pushed his offer back as he extended a handful of bills. "I have my own money, and buying you something with your money is a cheap gift."

  "You're my woman, and you're going to be my wife before too long. My money is your money, baby."

  "And my money is yours?" She lifted her eyebrow and tilted her head, challenging him.

  "Nope. Your money is your money." He snorted. "I'm not an idiot. I know how these things work. I remember my momma spending all my dad's money, and when she was out, she'd stick out her hand and smile."

  Sicily laughed. "And what did your father do?"

  "He emptied his wallet and asked for a kiss."

  "That's an expensive kiss."

  "Well worth it, or so he would tell you if he were still around."

  "Your real father? Joe?" Sicily leaned back in her seat and let her eyes scan the street ahead. It was empty thanks to the snowstorms that kept hitting New England.

  "I thought D's dad was my dad my whole life. We called him Big Papa. I love that man, and he died thinking I was his boy." Drake shrugged. "It was in another life, Sicily. Long time ago."

  "I know that feeling." She curled up, pulling her feet up in the seat and turning to face him. "Let's go back to the hotel and get in the bed for a little while."

  "I thought you wanted to go out to your momma’s grave."

  "The weather is too bad, and honestly, it would be better to go in the spring time when I could put some flowers on it."

  "I like the idea of that." Drake reached over and took her hand. "You know I want you to move in with me soon. When do you think we can start that process?"

  "You assume I want to." She gave him a cute smile and enjoyed the sound of his deep, rich laugh.

  "January?"

  "I need to see what's going on with Lisa and Kari. I can't leave them high and dry. You know that." She pulled his hand toward her face and kissed his fingertips one at a time.

  "Jake and Kari are getting engaged on New Year’s I believe, if everything goes according to plan. He's going to want to move in with her or have her with him sooner than May when the lease on the house is up. You know that." Drake glanced over and licked at his lips. "You're turning me on with your little kisses."

  "We'll figure it all out when we get home." She sucked on the tip of one of his fingers as he growled and his eyelids fluttered. "I like the idea of turning you on."

  "Just make sure you can finish what you start."

  Cocky ass.

  "I'm not worried at all. Just make sure you keep up." She shrugged and released his hand, quite proud of herself.

  Chapter 15

  Drake

  Drake let his eyes run across Sicily as she stood in front of the mirror in the hotel bedroom and turned slowly, checking herself out.

  "You look amazing."

  She walked toward him as he fiddled with his tie, taking over and working on it for him.

  "My brothers never could get a tie on right. The last time I did this for someone, it was at Momma’s funeral." Her hands shook a little. "I did it multiple times that day."

  He reached up and ran his hands over her hips, enjoying the soft silky black material of her dress. "I'm really good at it. I just wanted you closer."

  She laughed as a tear ran down her nose. "I'm sorry."

  "Don't be sorry." He stood and pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head as he brushed her hair back. "You can be sensitive over your mom anytime you want, for as long as you want. I'm right here to hold you up."

  She nodded and pressed her face to his chest. "I just have so many memories of Christmas Eve with her. My chest hurts so bad it feels like acid is eating at my heart."

  He gripped her shoulders and pulled her back, looking down into her face. Realization rolled over him as it had several times over the last month. There was nothing he wouldn't do to make the pretty woman before him happy, to make sure she knew that she was loved.

  "Tonight is going to be a little rough, but focus on the good times, the warm memories, and when we get back here, we'll strip down, and you can cry as long as you need to while I hold you."

  She laughed through her tears, reaching up to wipe at her eyes. "Why do we have to be naked?"

  Drake glanced over his shoulder toward the bed. "Isn't getting naked a requirement for getting in bed?" He returned his
attention back to her again and cupped her face in his hands. "Let your heart do whatever it needs to do, Sicily. No one is going to judge you. Not while I'm around."

  "Thank you," she whispered and lifted up to kiss him a few times. "We need to get going. Let me touch up my makeup and we'll leave."

  He kissed her once more before nodding and watching her walk off. He waited until she was in the bathroom to turn toward the balcony and redo his tie. He was particular about his clothes if nothing else. It was silly and trivial, but it was something his own mother had taught him from a young age.

  People's initial perception of you is in the way you present yourself.

  A smile touched his lips as sadness rolled around in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't help but wonder how everyone back home was doing. "Good thing the ones that matter most are headed your way," he mumbled.

  "Are you talking to yourself, baby?" Sicily walked back into the room and gave him a look as her eyes moved down to his hands working on his tie. "Didn't like how I did it?"

  "I loved it, but it was tight, and yes, I'm talking to myself. I'm the only one that doesn't disagree with me."

  She laughed and picked up her coat. "Come on, handsome. Let's go indulge in tradition so we can get to the club and see D and Izzy."

  He grabbed his coat and keys. "A club on Christmas Eve... only my brother."

  ***

  "Does this look too wholesome? Too innocent?" Sicily stopped in front of him after the church service was over that night, her hand on her hip, and the look on her face tight with aggravation.

  "No?" He chuckled and touched the side of her face as he stood out in the cold. "Why do you care, baby? We're at church. I'm pretty sure you need to look innocent and wholesome here if nowhere else."

  She growled and glanced behind her. "My sister was poking fun at me, and I swear I feel like I'm fifteen again."

  He reached out and ran his hands down her arms, forcing her to face him. "Well, you're not fifteen again. You're beautiful, and you look like an angel tonight. If you need to wear something a little more edgy, do it at the club and not the church." He chuckled as she lifted her eyebrow at him.

  "Hey, guys." One of Sicily's brothers walked up. Drake couldn't keep all their names straight to save his life. "We're all going over to the breakfast shack for a meal and some coffee. We figured we would go see lights and such like Momma used to take us to do. After that, midnight mass or one of the earlier services, and then back home for Santa." The chubby short guy wagged his eyebrows and extended his hands to the side. "You guys comin'?"

  "No. We're going to see Drake's family tonight." She looked up at Drake. "That's going to be it for us this evening, right?"

  "Right, unless you want to catch up with everyone for midnight mass. We can make that, I think." He shrugged, not really caring one way or the other. The idea of getting to see D and Izzy was more than enough to make him compliant to anything she wanted to do for the rest of the night. As long as it included them getting naked and Sicily wrapping herself around him.

  "All right, well, just text me later, Sis. If you want to join us, I'll let you know where we are." He hugged Sicily and shook Drake's hand before bouncing off.

  Drake turned toward the darkness, closing his eyes as the icy wind blew toward him. He hadn't taken a nap that afternoon, but gone to the mall to find something for Sicily for Christmas. To say that it was an insane venture would have been a mild understatement.

  Where he wanted to buy her the whole damn mall, he knew that wasn't her style at all. She was simple, straight-forward and wore very little jewelry due to working in the bakery. There was no way he would buy her another locket as the one around her neck was from her mother. No need to add to that or replace it. It was still beautiful after all her years of wearing it.

  "What are you thinking?" She hugged him from behind and shivered. "And can we think it in the church?"

  He laughed. "I was just hoping that you like your gift from me tomorrow."

  "Gift? You got me something?" She moved back as he turned.

  "Of course I got you something, and you'd better be glad it was just one thing. I wanted to empty my wallet to prove how much I love you, but I figured showing you would be easier."

  "What did you get me?" She lifted her chin and smiled like a little girl.

  He chuckled, loving her even more. "I thought you didn't want a gift."

  "I lied." She smiled, her eyes wide with wonderment.

  "Something that I hope you like." He ran his fingers down her cheek and bent down to brush his lips by hers. "I don't need anything but you."

  "Too bad. I got you something too." She kissed him back and turned to walk into the church. "Come on. Let's go fill up on cookies. It'll help soak up the liquor I hope to indulge in tonight."

  "Oh yeah?" He walked after her, ignoring the hard stare Johnny gave him from the other side of the porch. The asshole would come around, or he wouldn't. Either way, no skin off Drake's back. The best way to solidify their relationship was for Drake to help the guy out when he was in need, and that day would come. Only then would Johnny be convinced that Drake wasn't the monster he thought him to be, or maybe it would prove the opposite.

  That day wasn't today though.

  "Merry Christmas, Ryder." Drake winked at Johnny and walked into the church, egging the poor guy on. It had to be his motorcycle name. Or was it his middle name?

  "Drake. Come meet the Pattingtons. They're old friends of my parents’." Sicily reached for him and he let his thoughts go. Time to smile and act like a friendly, innocent guy that deserved a girl like Sicily.

  He slipped on his facade and moved up, extending his hand, trying not to feel fake.

  Chapter 16

  Sicily

  "That was fun tonight." Sicily squeezed Drake's hand as they walked toward Kadia in downtown New York. The sign lit up the night, taking attention from anyone who passed by. It was magnificent, the largest club she'd seen.

  "Yeah. I had a good time," he glanced down at her, "and I was serious about what I said. We can go back and join your family after we spend a little bit of time with D and Izzy. I doubt they’re staying long. We just wanted to see each other, and it's safer if we do it in the middle of a large crowd."

  The line was wrapped around the building, people huddling together and singing Christmas songs with all sorts of odd costumes for the event that night. Sicily smiled and snuggled closer to Drake as they walked to the front of the line.

  "The line is back there, man. Go get in it." A sexy bouncer with a great smile and beautiful aqua-colored eyes barked at them. She let her eyes move down to his name tag, wondering who he was for some reason. Had she seem him before? Nate.

  "I'm not waiting in that line." Drake's voice was low, unyielding.

  "He's with me, Nate." D moved out of the club and patted the bouncer on the chest before pulling Drake into the club.

  Nate glanced down as Sicily moved through, the smile on his mouth not reaching his eyes. She couldn't help but turn her head and watch him as Drake pulled her into the club behind him.

  "You know him?" Drake asked her, gaining her attention once more.

  "No. I don't think so." She moved up beside Drake and he wrapped a tight arm around her shoulders. "He just looked so lost."

  "Oh Lord. Men like him always look lost, baby. It's part of their charm." Drake kissed the top of her head as D turned around and motioned up the stairs.

  He looked so much like Drake, but his features were more defined, more striking. He could have played death on any stage and everyone would have understood why so many people rush into the darkness. It was enticing, beautiful, broken.

  Sicily tried to push her thoughts away and simply live in the moment. The club was extravagant, decorated tastefully from one end to the other. People were laughing, dancing, making out, and generally having a great time. She let out a soft sigh and let her eyes move toward the table where Izabella sat, looking like sin.

 
; Her long hair draped over her shoulders and down her exposed back, her eyes filled with stories from a million places and times. She and D weren't like anyone Sicily had met before, but then again, she didn't know many killers who still roamed the streets freely.

  "Hi, Sicily. Good to see you again." Izabella didn't move, but nodded and turned back to her liquor.

  As they got closer, Sicily realized the girl had dark circles around her eyes. They were faint, but they were still there. She had been going through hell, had to have, nothing else made sense.

  "It is good to see you. My little brother still taking care of you?" Demetri pushed at Drake and wrapped his arm around Sicily's shoulders, looking down at her.

  She lifted her eyes toward him, feeling a little overwhelmed by his presence. "Yes. He's a dream come true."

  "You've got this one fooled, Drake." D winked at her and released her, moving over to take his place beside Izzy. There was just enough room between them that they weren't touching, but it was more than apparent that they wanted to.

  Drake and D chatted for a minute as Sicily sat down and turned to watch the other patrons. She jumped when Drake leaned over her shoulder and kissed the side of her face. "I gotta run to the men's room. Be right back."

  "Okay, baby." She turned to find Izabella watching her. "I'm glad you guys got to come down for a night. Drake's missed you both."

  "We miss him too." She glanced over at D, as if bored. She was much less welcoming than she had been the first time Sicily met her, but that was before her mother was gunned down and her little brother was killed. "Come dance with me. I like this song."

  "Izzy. You know I don't-"

  "Now." She got up and walked to the floor, her black top tight in the front and nothing but a silky string in the back that ran across the top of her rear. Tight black jeans and three-inch heels. Every head in the place turned to watch her.

  Sicily couldn't help but feel like a heel around her.