Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

by Ali Parker

Rebecca craned her neck as a handsome male walked toward the restroom, the tight hug of his slacks on his well-formed backside causing her interest to pique.

  Parker turned and looked to see what had taken her attention. He laughed as he turned back to her, lifting the beer to his lips. “So, you do like Jason.”

  “Jason? What?” Rebecca leaned back over as the man disappeared into the restroom. “That wasn’t Jason, you dweeb.”

  “Damn sure was.” He laughed and pulled the menu back out, ordering them a few appetizers as the server approached again. Rebecca looked up at the server to order a glass of water and felt the weight of the young man’s stare. He saw something he liked and the thought jolted Rebecca a little. Was she still this attractive to men ten years younger than her? She knew she was pretty, but most everyone was in their own way. It had to be that it was obvious she had money. The thought caused her stomach to turn. A rich old woman with okay looks and tons of cash … hot.

  “I’ll take a glass of water when you have a chance,” she murmured, her eyes moving from the server to touch the gaze of her best associate as he exited the bathroom. He waved and headed their way as the server moved from the table.

  “Damn it to hell,” Rebecca muttered as she waved back and looked across the table at Parker, hating him all the more for being right.

  He mouthed, “What? Is it Jason?”

  Jason stopped beside the table, the top button of his shirt undone and his hair a little bit more messy than it had been just an hour before at the office. His eyes were glossy, as if a beer or two had already married with his system and relaxed him. Rebecca smiled, unable to help herself as he extended his hand to Parker first.

  “Boss. Good to see you here.”

  Parker shook his hand and pointed to Becca. “Yes, well, I was just going to go home and entertain my lovely young bride, but my partner here wanted to spend more time together. The woman is insatiable.” Parker smiled as if batting the ball into her court.

  Jason laughed and looked over at Rebecca. “I asked her to come with us, but I’m thinking it must just be your personal attention that she craves.”

  Rebecca rolled her eyes. “You both can sit on something and rotate. I wanted to go home, strip out of these clothes and soak in a hot bubble bath until the water turned cold.”

  She smiled knowingly, as she was sure the male minds before her visualized the image she’d painted without much color or skill. She laughed and reached for her drink. “Stop behaving inappropriately. I’m still your boss—and your partner,” she said, looking at each of them in turn.

  Jason smiled and moved back a little. “That’s hard to do around such a beautiful woman, Miss Miller.”

  Parker nodded. “I agree. You should go join them, Becca. I can find my way home. Really.”

  Rebecca scoffed. “No. You asked me here to talk business and we’re going to.”

  “Then, when you’re done?” Jason asked, moving a little as the server deposited a basket of chips on the table before them.

  “Yes. She’ll be there, but you have to take her back to her car.” Parker looked at Jason, who nodded and turned to jog off, a huge smile spreading across his face.

  “Wait a damn minute. I didn’t say I was hanging out with them tonight. What the hell, Parker?” She felt anger rise in her chest, her brow pinching between her eyes. She didn’t need to lead the poor boy on, making him think that something—anything—would come out of their relationship. Things needed to remain perfectly professional, and they would.

  “It would be good for you to mingle with our staff, Becca. I’m not saying you have to hang out with Jason or take him home, though that might do you some good.”

  She huffed, reaching for a chip. “You have absolutely no ethics. Why did I think business was a good idea with you?”

  “I married a stripper. Pretty sure you knew the level of my personal ethics before we started this. Besides, you’re the ethical accountant. I’m the flamboyant marketing guy, remember?”

  Rebecca shook her head, unease settling in the pit of her stomach over what the rest of the evening might entail. Pushing her glass toward Parker, she reached to take his beer bottle. “I need to switch to something lighter. I’m not getting blitzed in front of our staff. I’ll end up on the floor of someone’s apartment, and my whole cover of being a good girl will be blown to hell and back.”

  Parker laughed loudly, Rebecca smiling at the warmth in his persona. “Please, God, tell me that if this thing with Mina falls apart, you and I can go to Vegas and be incredibly unprofessional together for a weekend.”

  Rebecca rolled her eyes and nodded. “I’m in.”

  Parker wasn’t her type at all, his artistic side dominating too much of his personality. Why he was concerned about what his once stripper wife planned to do in the way of getting a degree and joining the workforce was beyond her. He’d been a bit of a wild child, having far more than his share of fun in life until a few years back, when he’d sobered up and pulled himself together. The result of said sobering was losing his first wife Cindy, an artist who wanted to just go where the wind blew. Cindy had decided that Parker wasn’t exciting enough anymore and had found herself someone who was.

  Rebecca had been friends with Parker since they were kids since he’d grown up just down the road a little, and she knew him all-too well.

  Parker had no right or reason to push someone who was twenty-three at best to grow up. He’d married Mina for who she was, and honestly, Rebecca thought it had been a mistake. He needed to reconcile himself to the fact that he couldn’t change the girl and just start loving her for who she was or get yet another divorce. If things went wrong with Mina, Rebecca knew she’d be there for him and they’d celebrate the dissolution of yet another relationship like they had the first time—with liquor and inappropriate flirtation.

  Their food arrived in the hands of two servers, one a young blond female who kept eyeing Parker while she stood beside the table. Rebecca almost felt a sense of protectiveness come over her, the emotion giving rise to the fact that she cared about him like family. He didn’t need another mistake to compound the ones he’d already made. Oh, he would make a million more, but this one wasn’t being made on her watch.

  She looked toward the male server as he asked if they needed anything else. “Nope. You guys can go. Thanks.”

  She reached for her plate and put a few items on it as Parker followed suit. “So, tell me why you married Mina, Park. Why did you think that was the right answer?”

  He shrugged, licking sour cream off his finger. “She was beautiful and young and she was into me.”

  “She was a stripper. They’re paid to be into everyone.”

  =He laughed and stabbed a piece of chicken with his fork, lifting it to his lips. “You’d make a great stripper, you know.”

  She laughed, almost choking on the last of his beer. “Don’t make me laugh. That’s ridiculous. I’m in my mid-thirties.”

  “And you’re beautiful.” He smiled in a knowing way and filled his mouth with food.

  Rebecca felt her cheeks color again, hating the fact that any mention of her attractiveness found her embarrassed. She wasn’t a girl, but a full grown woman. When would she stop running from the attention of men?

  When I find the right one.

  Chapter 5

  The image of Parker enjoying his food slipped from her vision as memories of Kade took its place, the sights and sounds of the bar fading into nothingness as the warm hum of remembrance rushed across her.

  Kade. His smile illumined by the sun as it splashed across his features on the lake that day. They’d been fishing together, the air chilly and the morning quiet. Her shorts were short and her T-shirt fitting. The hope was to grab his attention in any manner possible and make him want her the way she wanted him.

  There was nothing like heading out to Lake Conroe and taking Kade’s daddy’s boat out into the water. She was fine fishing, but she wasn’t baiting her hook, and she sure
as heck wasn’t pulling a catfish off of it. She’d seen her own dad get a nasty cut across the middle of his palm, thanks to the jerking of an angry catfish.

  “Whatcha thinking about, Becca?” Kade’s voice brought her attention back to him, the water shimmering just beyond the edge of the boat.

  A smile touched her mouth as butterflies beat against the inside of her stomach. “Just thinking how useless this day would be if you weren’t here.”

  He laughed. “You getting mushy on me?”

  She shook her head and leaned back in the boat, propping her arms up behind her and closing her eyes as she lifted her chin toward the sky.

  “Nope, just saying that without you pinching the worm, there would be no fishing for me.”

  He chuckled, his voice deep and rich, its soft timbre stirring up her hormones. “I’m so glad I could be of use to you.”

  The sun did little to warm her skin, but she willed herself into ignoring the cold enough to appear laid back and comfortable in front of him. After being friends for so long, one would think it would be easy, but the truth of the matter was that in front of him she felt forever exposed.

  What had he done to steal her heart and cause her to think of no one but him? She squinted through the bright rays of light reflected by the water and focused on him. His head was tilted down, his teeth biting at his lip as he worked the worm onto the hook. His dark brown hair was a disheveled mess and his strong masculine features were contorted in concentration, highlighting a wicked hot mouth that she was dying to kiss.

  They’d never done much more than brush by each other casually, and she imagined that her desire for him was much greater than anything he might be feeling for her. Would there be a day when he finally realized that she was the girl next door? That she was the one he’d been looking for, searching for aimlessly for all these years?

  “You’re thinking too hard,” he muttered, his gaze shifting toward her as a smirk tugged at his lips.

  “How do you know I’m thinking?”

  “Because you’ve stopped talking. I’ve known you most of my life. You’re talking or thinking. I don’t even know if you know how to rest.” He finished and stood, the boat shaking a little.

  She couldn’t help but let her eyes draw across the curve of his butt, the thick muscles of his thighs pressing against his dirty jeans.

  “I know how to rest. I’m resting now. Look at me.” She lounged back and closed her eyes again, trying hard to suck in and pose in a manner that accentuated her girlish figure.

  “I don’t need to look at you, silly girl. I know what you look like. You look the same way you did when we were six.” He laughed, and the boat jolted as he cast the line into the water.

  His words set off an ache in her chest. She sat up, reaching for the sides of the boat, and said with a growl, “I don’t look like a six-year-old.” She huffed and reached up to pull her long hair into a ponytail. Enough with being cute. He obviously wasn’t going to see her as anything other than what he always had—a friend or, worse yet, a sister.

  He turned and offered her the pole as he winked. “You will always be a cute little six-year-old to me. Your pigtails and high-pitched screams when you get dirt in your fingernails are forever engrained in my mind.”

  She rolled her eyes and turned to focus on the fish. She’d have better luck catching dinner from the bottom of the lake than the boy two feet beside her.

  The memory was as clear in her mind as if it had just happened, but it hadn’t. It had been seventeen or eighteen years since that day, when she had, once again, been rejected by him. Maybe he hadn’t been the right guy for her after all.

  “Hey,” Parker’s hand touched her arm, and her eyes shifted a little to bring him back into focus. “You okay? I didn’t mean to upset you. Just wanted you to know that every man in this place has checked you out three times.”

  His smile warmed her and she laughed, shaking her head and stabbing a few things on her own plate. “No, I’m good. Just thinking about a boy from high school that messes with my mind from time to time.”

  “Oh Lord … we’re talking about Kade McMillian?”

  His name being spoken made her longing to see him again all the more real. He wasn’t just a figment of her imagination, but someone that had seemingly stolen her heart and had yet to give it back. He was probably married or maybe even dead, not even on the radar of possibilities anymore.

  “I didn’t know you knew Kade.”

  “Yeah. His older brother Tad and I were on the baseball team together.”

  “Oh yeah, that’s right. Wait, how did you know that’s who I was talking about?”

  “I still remember the way you looked at him when you guys used to come watch our games. It was pretty obvious.”

  “Oh, well …” She drifted off, not sure what to say to that. Instead of responding, she motioned for the server, ordering another beer. “Yeah, I was thinking about him. Do you know where he went?”

  Parker shook his head. “Last I heard, he was in California, but that was years ago.”

  “Hmmm,” she murmured, trying to play it off. No need to get wrapped up in a painful conversation that would do nothing but uncover a longing that made no sense and left her the fool.

  “Tell me more about the situation with Mina, Park. I want to help, but I need to know where this is all coming from.”

  “See, the thing is, I think I love her. I mean I want to love her.” He sighed and poked at the remnants of his plate. “Who gets married for anything but love?”

  “Um, lots of people do. People get married for the stupidest reasons ever. Money, recognition and security, to name a few.” Rebecca took another drink, settling back in her seat and studying her friend.

  Parker had always had a soft side, much more than any of the other boys she knew growing up, but he’d always been a flirt extraordinaire as well. Perhaps getting older is causing him to refocus? Yeah, like you should too … obsessed.

  “Yes, but I’m a romantic at heart. I don’t want to be married for any of those reasons.” He ran his fingers through his hair, his brow pulled tight. As if realizing he’d gotten a bit too serious, his tone turned to wry sarcasm. “I know most women just want me for my body, but I can’t help that.”

  “You’re ridiculous. You can’t take anything seriously for more than thirty seconds. This is why your relationship isn’t working out.”

  “No, my relationship isn’t working out because I married a stripper who married me for security. I’m not sure what I was thinking, and yet there is such a huge part of me that needs this to work, Becca.” He leaned in, his forearms on the table between them as his demeanor changed.

  “Why does this need to work out so badly?”

  He sighed and picked at his nails, Rebecca reaching over to swat at his hands before he looked up. “Because I don’t want to be a failure at love. I’m fine tripping and dicking up anything else, but I just can’t imagine failing at another relationship.”

  Rebecca let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and reached over again, this time to squeeze the tops of his hands with hers. “You can’t help what happened with Cindy, Park. That wasn’t at all your fault.”

  He looked up and pulled his hands into his lap, shaking his head. “I don’t know. I really feel like some part of it was. Not sure why I keep beating myself up over all of this, but maybe it’s because my current relationship sucks too.”

  “What are your options?” Rebecca asked, moving the conversation in a new direction. He would wallow deep in his romantic failures unless she helped him focus. This night was about him, and yet she was very much a resolution seeker. Time to talk about where to go from here.

  “I guess to talk with her and try to make things better or get a divorce.” He shrugged before reaching over and taking the Long Island iced tea that he’d ordered for her. He took a long drink, his eyes closing as Rebecca sat quietly for a moment.

  “And which do you think is the bet
ter option? Are you leaning one way or the other? Do you see things somehow working out between you guys?”

  “The sex is kinky and wicked awesome,” he muttered before shoving a cheese stick into his mouth and smiling.

  “Awesome. Not what I asked.” She gave him a rather knowing look. He was diverting. Typical Parker.

  He finished chewing and licked at his greasy fingertips. “I guess I should talk with her. I don’t want things to end, and like I said, she’s beautiful and the sex is delicious.”

  Rebecca sighed. “How about you not talk about your wickedly hot sex life? I’m officially classifying myself as sex-starved. So no more sharing your shit.”

  He laughed and reached across the table to pinch her chin. “That’s your own damn fault. Half the men in this room, if not more, would be more than happy to adjust your starving status.”

  She looked around, trying to see if anyone might be worthy of even a naughty daydream. Nope. She put her focus back on Parker, a wicked smile tugging at her lips. “Doubtful.

  “Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t make it less real.” He winked at her before lifting his hand into the air and motioning for the service to bring the check. He paid it and slipped out from the booth, offering her a hand.

  “Walk me to the door and then you can join Junior.” He smiled and wrapped an arm around her when she started to protest. “I’m just kidding. Put your teeth back in your head.”

  She snuggled into his side and pushed through the crowd with him. “Maybe I should just go home with you. This isn’t going to end well, no matter what. I don’t even have a ride.”

  Parker stopped at the front door. “It’s going to be fun if you let it be. Just let your hair down and have a good time. You deserve to exhale from time to time, Becca.”

  He reached out and pulled her into a warm hug. A quick kiss to the top of her head, and she was left standing alone, worry tugging at her sense of responsibility. She turned and lifted up on her toes, her eyes quickly locating the group of people that expected her arrival any minute.