by Ali Parker
So why was she thinking that anything different would happen now? Maybe this was a torrential waste of her energy. He was probably the same boy he’d always been—too ignorant to see the gem that stood before him and consumed with accomplishment.
She looked at Jason as her thoughts caught up with her. Are you really any different?
“Oh man, I love this place.”
Jason stood just behind Rebecca at the counter, as an elderly black woman approached them with a big smile on her face. “Hi ya, folks. You can sit anywhere you like. Nelda will be right out to getcha order.”
Rebecca smiled and moved into the dining hall as Jason thanked the hostess. Rebecca slid into a small, two person table near the window, the sun streaming in but the coldness pressing against the glass just beside her. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.
“You want to move over there so we’re not by the window?” Jason sat down and placed his hands on his coat as if he were going to remove it but wanted to see what she wanted to do first.
“No, I’m good. I like being near the sun, but the glass is cold.” She reached up to flip over the coffee cup that sat upside down on a small saucer before her.
He took off his coat and stood up, walking around her and putting it on her shoulders. She slipped her hands into the sleeves and pulled it tight, the warmth from his body giving her exactly what she needed.
She sighed and breathed in deeply. “Much better. Thank you.”
“Anything for you,” he said softly before pulling out two menus that sat on the table beside them, handing her one and smiling toward her with boyish innocence.
Realization dawned on her.
He wasn’t trying to get a date or get in good with his boss. That look he was giving her wasn’t seduction or simple charm. He thought he was in love.
Love.
Fear pulsed through her as she reached for the menu, pulling it up and pretending to look it over as she let the idea of someone loving her wash over her.
She’d always been hung up on the fact that Kade, who’d known her better than anyone for years, hadn’t been able to love her. Even after all these years, she’d still never quite let it go in her mind. So to think of someone else loving her—especially someone she really wasn’t even sure if she liked yet? Terrifying.
She glanced up at Jason, the contentment on his handsome face giving her a sense of serenity. It wasn’t as if he were asking her to love him, or really even like him. He was just doing what was natural to him by being kind to her. At least he was bold enough to say how he felt.
He was in his twenties, though, and if she really thought about it, she and Kade were fifteen and sixteen when she’d first wanted so badly to hear that he loved her. He’d never said it, or anything really endearing, but teenage boys were just like that, right?
She looked back down at the menu as the waitress came up.
“Good morning, folks. How are you?”
Jason looked up and smiled. “We’re doing great. How are you today?”
“I’m just fine, you young handsome thing.” The older woman reached out and pinched his cheek. She looked over at Rebecca and smiled. “Aren’t you a lucky gal.”
Jason tried to tell the waitress that they weren’t together as Rebecca laughed. “Sure am.”
It was his turn to blush, and it looked good on him. Rebecca swallowed hard and looked back at the menu as the waitress continued to talk to the two of them.
“So, what’ll you be having this morning?”
“Becca, go ahead.” Jason extended his hand toward her, his eyes moving over her face as if he were trying to memorize her.
“Sure. I’ll have an egg white omelet with mushrooms and tomatoes and a side of fruit.”
“And for you, handsome?”
“Handsome will have an American slam, eggs over easy, toast, bacon and potatoes, please.”
Rebecca laughed along with the waitress as a young guy came over to fill up their coffee cups. She picked hers up and let it touch her lips as she watched Jason over the edge of the cup.
“What?” he asked softly before taking a sip of his coffee and swearing at the heat.
Her smile widened. “I don’t know. We’ve worked together for the past year, but I’ve never seen this playful side of you.”
He laughed and set the cup down. “That’s because you won’t let me within ten feet of you at work. It’s hard to see any part of someone’s personality when you don’t interact with them.”
She would’ve taken offense, but the playful sound of his voice and the hint of sarcastic fun in his gaze told her that he was softening the truth. She had shut him and everyone else out, really. Parker was allowed to know her within the confines of an intimate friendship, but other than him, all she had was Trisha. Her parents had moved away after her mother retired, the idea of traveling the world grabbing hold of them. Having only a few people in her life felt safe—comfortable—so she kept it that way.
“Hey, I didn’t mean that in a mean way. I was just picking at you. You’re the boss. It’s not like you hired everyone so that you could become friends with them. You have a business to run—I understand.” He reached across the table and brushed his fingers along her forearm, the pressure barely reaching her through her sweater and his jacket.
The smell of his cologne sat faintly on the jacket; her movements, though subtle, would lift it into the air and cause the part of her that wanted a man in her life to stir to life, a deep need to bathe in the smell almost suffocating her. She closed her eyes and leaned over her coffee, not caring how she looked. She was a private person and this man—or boy—before her beckoned her not to be.
She opened her eyes and smiled softly. “No, it’s okay. You’re right. I keep people at bay because I’m the owner of the company, and it just seems fitting. Relationships cloud the waters, and in my line of work, that’s just not something I can justify.”
He nodded. “I completely understand. I’m just glad you came to the bar last night to hang out with us.”
“Yeah, sorry I left early. I’m older than you guys, so I turn into a pumpkin at eleven most nights of the week.” She smiled as he chuckled at her Cinderella reference.
“Well, I’m not sure what you consider old, but if you’re turning into a pumpkin, I’ll have to switch my favorite dessert to pumpkin pie.” He winked and picked up his coffee for another try.
She felt a jolt of desire surge through her, the man in front of her not at all concerned with exposing his feelings and desires for her every chance he got. She almost felt overwhelmed by his willingness to be so open. His references were naughty, whether he realized it or not.
He knows.
She smiled, which seemed to catch his attention.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She took another sip of her coffee, sat it down and leaned back in her chair. “I was thinking about the structure of the analysis I need to work up for the Vandenbilt proposal.”
He laughed loudly, his whole face lighting up. “You’re a liar. You were thinking about us.”
“Us? What us?” she asked, leaning forward and pressing her arms to the table, challenging him.
He leaned in too and let his gaze move across her face, resting on her lips for a moment and then moving back up to her eyes. He pointed to himself and then across the table to her. “This us. The us you keep pushing away and preventing from starting.” He leaned back and suddenly looked so much older than he was. “My question is why?”
She sat back too, again taken aback by the balls on this man. “Why?”
“I love that you repeat the question when you’re unsure of what to say. True business woman in you.”
“What?”
He laughed and she closed her eyes, shaking her head at how badly this conversation was going. He was going to drill down to the fact that she wasn’t at all … well, might be … quite possibly would … rest assured, was going to date him.
�
��You did it again, and don’t say ‘did what?’ Answer my question, you beautiful vixen who’s stolen my damn thoughts.”
Was he really twenty-two? Did twenty-two-year-old guys have this much nerve in front of an older woman? What about her rules? What about possibly seeing Kade last night?
Her face fell as she dove into the thought of Kade resurfacing in her life. Did she still want to find out if there was a possibility there? Yes. She did. She needed to know, which meant nothing could happen with Jason, not that she’d planned for it to anyway.
“Stop thinking so much and tell me why you keep batting me away.”
“Because I’m your boss,” she said, reaching for her coffee. She’d won million-dollar deals and debated some of the most challenging topics in college, winning numerous awards. It would be a piece of cake to get rid of Jason, and she could deal with the emotional ramifications later.
“Then I quit,” he said matter-of-factly and shrugged, the five o’clock shadow on his jaw giving him a masculine appeal that she had refused to take note of before.
“You can’t quit,” she said, huffing and rolling her eyes at his childish games.
“I just did.”
Chapter 10
The waitress moved in beside them with their food as Rebecca was getting ready to attack Jason for his silly move. His smile was bright and wide as he thanked the waitress, calling her honey or something endearing. She giggled and moved away as he reached out his hand toward Rebecca.
“I’ll pray. Give me your hand.”
She wasn’t sure what to say, but extended her hand and bowed her head. Her mother would’ve been proud. Rebecca hadn’t prayed or shadowed the walk of a church in years. Too much life to live to give God any time in the midst of it. She figured she’d get back to church when she was old and seeking entrance to heaven. Why did the fact that Jason prayed warm her down to the core of her soul? This wasn’t good.
He finished then squeezed her hand, pulling his back and moving his napkin into his lap.
“I’m thinking after this we’ll go deal with your house situation and then I need to grab a paper from the corner store.”
She reached for her silverware, her eyebrow lifting. “What do you need a paper for?”
“Job listings.” He laughed as she growled, his eyes full of joy as he bit into a piece of bacon.
“You’re ridiculous. You’re not quitting. I have plans for you to help me on the Vandenbilt account.” She reached for the pepper, coating her omelet in it and handing the shaker to him so that he could do the same to his eggs.
“Fine then, I’ll stay, but only under one condition.”
She sat down her silverware and glared at him. “You’re not about to pull quid pro quo on me, Jason. You can’t tell me that I’m going to have to pony up a date in order for you to stay at the firm. That’s illegal and unethical.”
He winked at her. “Never. I am almost a CPA. I have standards, lady.”
She laughed, picked up her fork and took a small bite of her food, the warm goodness filling her mouth and warming her down to her toes. She finished chewing and then responded. “Then what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that the idea of us working together can’t be the reason you won’t give us a chance.” He picked up his toast, fumbling with the butter and dropping it in his eggs. “Damn.”
She reached over and took his toast, opening the butter between them and buttering it for him as he watched her a little too closely. “What? I have a nine-thirty appointment. No one has time to train you on how to butter your toast.”
He smirked. “So go out with me tonight. Let me take you to dinner.”
“No,” she said and picked up a strawberry, popping it in her mouth.
“Why?” He had no shame. “And don’t say that it’s because we work together. I’m willing to solve that.”
She scoffed at him, truly unable to help herself. “You’d seriously leave my firm, a great job, in hopes of something happening between us?”
“Absolutely. I’d rather have you than a job.”
“You don’t even know me, Jason.” She set her fork down, her playful smile drying up. “I could be a horrible person or you might run away screaming when you meet my family. Besides, eventually you’ll understand that I’m way too old for you.”
He set his fork down too, his brown eyes filled with emotion that she didn’t want to try and discern. It was completely and totally irrational to be having the conversation they were having, and yet, here she was, in the middle of it.
“I knew this was about age.” He sighed and leaned back, his breakfast steaming before him as if beckoning him to return to its yummy goodness.
She sat stiff as a board, caught in the middle of the truth. “Our age is only one of the issues, Jason. There are loads more.”
“So let’s work past them, Rebecca. Let’s talk through them and at least give it a shot. You find me attractive, no?”
She exhaled, her fingers rubbing along the outside of her coffee cup. “Yes, of course you’re attractive.”
He smiled like a tomcat. She rolled her eyes and picked up her fork, unwilling to let her breakfast grow cold in the midst of the insanity.
“Good. I’m wild about you. You’re the most beautiful and enchanting woman I’ve ever met. Half the reason I joined your firm was because I respected what you’ve done with it.”
She smiled, her gaze focused on her plate. Were they having this conversation? It would seem that they were, and there hadn’t even been a lovely one-night stand to preface it. Drats.
“More coffee?” the waitress asked, her voice warm and smooth.
“Yes please.” Jason lifted both of their cups, his eyes never leaving Rebecca.
The waitress moved off and Rebecca worked to get her coffee back to the sugary bliss she enjoyed it in.
“Look, I really appreciate your compliments and your praise. I had no idea that you thought so much of me, that anyone did, really.” She paused and he started to interject something, but she lifted her hand to stop him. “I’m not sure how I feel, but I do know that the fact that you work for me and the difference in our ages are huge barriers that make it difficult for me to even allow this conversation to go further. I know, too, that this is not going to be resolved this morning at breakfast.”
He nodded, picking up his fork. He flashed her a warm grin. “I understand. All I’m asking is that you let me live in the space where things are considered, and that you don’t shut down the possibility just yet.”
She took a bite of her food, her heart pounding in her chest at the mere thought of falling for him. He was so consumed with reaching her, promising a whole new world of possibilities. But she couldn’t allow herself to even think about romance, and certainly not about love. Would it hurt to fall in love and then have him leave? Absolutely. Would she survive loving someone else that had the ability to crush her? She wasn’t so sure.
Why was she letting a relationship from sixteen years ago—a relationship that didn’t even happen anywhere but in her head—affect her life so much? She knew it was ridiculous, but she’d never been able to let go of the feelings of rejection, no matter how hard she’d tried. She’d never been able to relax and just enjoy the attentions of a man without waiting for it all to come crumbling down around her. And no matter how often she’d told herself that she was just being silly, her head couldn’t seem to convince her heart of that fact.
Or maybe she just hadn’t found a man worthy of convincing her heart.
“I’ll keep the possibility open, but don’t push me in this, and don’t make me tell you no because you’re shoving me forward toward something that you’re comfortable with and I’m not.”
He smiled again, winking at her. “No pushing, no shoving and no telling you what to do. Got it.”
She laughed and turned the conversation a different direction as they finished up their breakfast. When the bill came he grabbed it before she could. She gave him a look
and he simply shook his head. “I’m buying. I invited you, and my momma would roll over in her grave if she thought I’d let a lady pay for food when we’d shared the same table.”
She wiped her mouth, his words finding resonance within her. “You’re mother has already passed?”
He nodded. “Yeah, she died from cancer my freshman year of college. Wasn’t easy, but life usually isn’t.”
“I’m so sorry,” she responded, studying the sad smile on his perfect mouth.
He stood up and she followed, starting to slip off his coat. He beckoned her to stop and walked to the front door, thanking the ladies at the front counter for the best breakfast in town. They giggled and Rebecca just waved, a smile stuck on her face. It might not be good for her from a business sense to hang out with this fine man, but God help her if she didn’t feel like a girl again.
The drive to the house was longer than she remembered, but it was enjoyable, seeing that she and Jason spent the whole time talking about music they loved and their favorite foods. She found out that she had way more in common with him than she might have imagined.
She pointed to a long dirt road that led into the middle of nowhere, trees lining the path and covering the view of the house.
“Wow.”
“What?” she asked, looking over at him, the mid-morning sun coming through the windows of the old truck to warm her soul.
“It’s beautiful out here.” He kept his eyes on the road before them, but his expression softened a little. “My grandfather lives up near Lufkin. It looks a lot like this. The trees are big and old, spread out for coverage, and the city life fades fast as you reach his place. There’s only serenity to be found out here.”
She smiled, wrapping her arms around herself as anticipation tore at her. The house that she’d helped to design was beautiful, the long wraparound porch reminding her of her granny’s house in Mississippi. The most thrilling part of the adventure was the small lake that sat out back. She loved to fish, but needed someone willing to help.
There was so much still to do with the property, but the house was first.
