Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

by Ali Parker

  "We're not having the conversation again." She closed the door behind her, effectively cutting me off. She was wrong. We were having it. Soon, and I'd be on one knee the next time I brought it up. My pride could take the hit if she said no, but I was done dicking around.

  My age had little to do with it.

  Now to get her to see it that way.

  ***

  "This look all right?" I leaned back a little as she yelped.

  "Don't lean back too far. You're going to fall off the ladder." She reached up and gripped the back of my calf as I balanced on the ladder in the front of the house. The lights were almost up. Just a few more adjustments.

  "I am not, silly woman." I glanced up and reached to adjust one more light. "There. Looks good. Move back and see if we're done."

  She huffed, but moved back. "Yeah. It looks great. Hey, my mom's coming to dinner tonight. You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

  I got down and walked toward her. "You want me to stay?"

  She wrapped her arms around me and smiled. "She's a little overbearing. She's a southern woman that loves everyone and wants grandchildren really badly, so it's up to you."

  "I want kids too. I'm thinking we might get along well." I nipped at her nose. "Maybe we'll gang up on you and force you to stop clamming up every time I start talking about marriage."

  She crinkled up her cute little nose. "Maybe you shouldn't be here when she is. Might be dangerous. You two will have my entire future planned out before I can blink twice."

  "Very true. I'd just let her plan it and make sure to insert myself at every junction." I kissed her a few times and ran my hands down her back to the top of her rear. "How long do we have before your mom gets here?"

  She laughed and swatted at my chest. "Not long at all. Come on. Let's start working on dinner and I can start a fire."

  I released her and smirked as she walked off. "I'm pretty sure you're supposed to cook and I'm supposed to start the fire."

  "You don't want that. I promise," she called over her shoulder before walking into the house.

  "Is your father not coming?" I walked toward the house, figuring she didn't hear me as she didn't answer. I found her in the kitchen, working to open a wine bottle and fighting with it. "Let me do that."

  "Thank you." She handed it to me and crossed her arms over her chest. "My father died when I was younger, but my stepfather has been with us forever. He's my father as far as I'm concerned."

  "All right. Is he coming?" Something about not knowing about her dad dying left me feeling a little cheated, but I forced the feeling away. It was stupid. We had our whole lives to unwrap each other, and it wasn't all going to happen in the first year.

  "No. Just my mom. He usually helps out a lot at the homeless shelter this time of year." She got down three glasses. "Now look, I'm serious about my mom being a little overbearing. She's going to want to know all about us."

  "Wait." I paused. "Your mom doesn't know that we're dating?"

  "What? Yes. Of course she does." She moved toward me and took the wine bottle to pour the dark liquid into one of the glasses. "She just doesn't know that we're serious."

  "Serious like moving in together this winter?"

  "Still open for discussion." She took a quick sip and handed me the glass.

  "Right, well, I'm ready for more from us. It seems like you’re not." I took a long drink and set the glass down as she turned her back to me and poured herself a glass.

  "I keep going back and forth with it, but I honestly love what we have."

  I moved up behind her and wrapped my arms around her. "I do too, baby, but I'm ready for more. It's almost been a year."

  "And I'm not getting any younger?" She glanced back at me, and I reached up and squeezed the side of her face as I leaned down to consume her sweet mouth. Age. She always went back to age. It was her problem though, her concern. Not mine.

  "Hush with that. It doesn't work on me." I kissed her once more. I released her as the doorbell rang.

  “Probably my mother.” She brushed her hands down my shirt. “She loves to hug people.”

  “Okay, I’m used to huggers. My mother used to be one too.” I smiled before walking to the living room, glad to know that we had something else in common. I opened the door to find a beautiful older woman standing with her arms full of grocery bags. I could quickly see where Becca got her beauty from.

  "Let me help with that." I reached out and took all of the bags before moving back.

  "Oh, thank you so much. You must be Jason." Her eyes widened a little as she studied me.

  "Yes, ma'am. Nice to meet you." I turned and walked toward the kitchen. "I hope you don't mind me crashing yours and Becca's dinner tonight."

  "No, not at all. I'm just a little surprised, but pleasantly so."

  Becca walked around me. "Hi, Momma. I should have told you Jason was staying to meet you. Is that okay?"

  "Heavens yes."

  I set the bags down and turned in time to be pulled into a warm hug by Becca's mom. "I'm so damn glad to meet you. I thought my girl was going to be alone forever. Like one of those crazy cat ladies."

  I laughed and returned the hug. "No way. Your little girl is far too special for that." I looked down at the older woman. "She means the world to me. Did she tell you that we're moving in together?"

  "What? That's great news." Becca's mom released me and spun on her heel to face Rebecca. "Why didn't you tell me! This is fantastic."

  Becca gave me a look as her mom plowed into her and wrapped her in a tight hug. "Because. I didn't know."

  I winked and moved to pull groceries out of the bags. I'd be in trouble later, but I knew a few tricks to get myself out of hot water. All of them ending with my woman moaning and shaking like a shock victim below me.

  Chapter 7

  Rebecca

  Jason was going to get it after my mother left. I'd already warned him that she was far too interested in me finally getting married and starting to pop out babies for him to bring up us moving in together. Especially seeing that we hadn't really talked about it.

  He was going to push his way into the next step if nothing else. Some part of me didn't mind at all. Maybe it was better to just follow his lead. I was in love with him completely. What the hell was I waiting for?

  The bottom to fall out. That's what. Nothing ever worked out well in my love life. I had a hard time thinking this would be any different.

  The doorbell rang, which surprised me. Not too many people knew where I lived, nor had I invited anyone else over for dinner.

  "Expecting someone else?" Jason wiped his hands on a dishrag and tapped my rear as he walked past me toward the front door.

  "Nope." I finished tearing the salad and glanced over to find my mother watching me. "What? Go ahead and get it off your chest."

  "What?" She moved up closer and wrapped her arm around my shoulders before pressing her cheek against my back. "I'm just glad to see you happy. It's been a long sixteen years of watching you pass up opportunities. Forgive me for enjoying the moment."

  "I've been with Jason for nine months, Mom."

  "Well, you've been playing it off as nothing more than a casual friendship. Moving in with someone isn't very casual at all." She squeezed me and moved back as Parker and Jason rounded the corner.

  "Hey! Two of my favorite girls in the world." Parker moved toward my mom and pulled her into a hug, kissing the side of her face. "Becca's dad isn't here, right?"

  "What are you doing here?" I turned to face Parker as my mom moved back and glanced up at him.

  "You don't like Tom?" Her eyebrow lifted.

  "I love Tom, but he doesn't like me." Parker chuckled before walking over to give me a quick squeeze. I couldn't help but notice Jason watching us like a hawk.

  "I'm lost. Who's Tom?" Jason leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. His t-shirt fit him almost too well, the thick press of his chest and arm muscles gaining my attention and
lighting parts of me on fire.

  "My husband. Rebecca's stepfather." My mom patted Parker's chest. "Tom does too like you. He just thinks you're a bit of a horn-dog."

  "Mom. Jeez." I shook my head and turned back to the salad. "Let's not talk about Parker's love life and just say we did."

  "It's all good." Parker walked over and snagged a tomato from the bowl in front of me. I tried to swat at his hand, but he was too quick. "I'm sorry to crash your dinner. I can leave if you want."

  "No way! You're like family." My mother moved over and looped her arm into Parker's. "You need to let me help you find a wife."

  "Do I now?" Parker glanced back at me, the pleading look on his face for help almost too cute.

  "Yep. I'm honestly surprised that you and Becca didn't end up together, but her father wouldn't be too thrilled about that." I let my mom drag him away.

  Jason chuckled and moved up behind me. "I'd not be too happy with that either."

  I turned to face him and pressed my palms against his chest. "Why did you give my mom false hope?"

  "How did I do that?" He ran the back of his fingers down the side of my cheek as he studied me. Something about the way he watched me unraveled me. Fear danced in the pit of my stomach. Could I fully give myself over to a handsome, young guy like him and not be worried that everything would come crashing down?

  My business was the mainstay in my life, and it needed me strong and steady. How focused would I be if Jason up and left after I truly opened myself up to him, and not just my legs, but my heart.

  "You told her that we were moving in together." I tugged at his t-shirt and breathed in deeply, staining my lungs with his delicious scent. "That's not true."

  "Yes, it is. The timing might be a little off, but us moving in together is happening. Sooner than later." He leaned down and kissed me slowly, making love to my mouth, opening me up.

  Electricity wrapped around the worry and pulsed out along my arms and legs, causing the hair on the back of my neck to rise and chill bumps to cover my exposed skin.

  "I'm scared," I whispered softly against his lips.

  "The great and mighty Rebecca Martin? Scared? No way."

  "We've had this conversation before." I reached up and ran my fingers through the dark brown hair on the side of his head. "You're not risking anything."

  "I'm not?" He kissed me again. "And you're risking everything?"

  I forced myself to remain calm and not get emotional. We had guests in the other room, and both my mother and Parker knew me well enough to know when I'd been crying. No matter how well I tried to hide it.

  "Yes, Jason. It's not the same for you as it is for me. If something happens-"

  "Nothing is going to happen, baby. We're going to move in together, and then we're getting married." He kissed the tip of my nose. "And then you're having my babies."

  "You have this all planned out in that brilliant head of yours, don't you?" I reached up and cupped his cheek. "There's only one problem with your plans."

  He pressed his hand against mine and turned to run the tip of his nose along my palm. "What's that? Tell me and I'll fix it."

  "You haven't asked me." I released him and turned to grab the salad. "Enough of this conversation for the night. I don't want to get upset."

  "Becca. Why in the world would-"

  "No." I glanced over my shoulder. "Please. We can talk about it later."

  He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and nodded. "All right. Later."

  "Thank you," I mumbled before picking up the salad bowl and some of the topping to carry into the dining room. He followed somewhere behind me, and I felt like a heel for shutting him down, but the topic was one I wanted to mull over - alone.

  Parker and my mother were laughing about something when I walked into the room. "Do I want to know?"

  "No." My mother covered her mouth and snorted, her pretty face red from laughing too hard.

  Parker leaned back in his chair and shook his head. "I honestly never thought we would get that costume off of her."

  "Oh no." I set the salad down as Jason walked in with the large bowl of pasta he'd prepared for us.

  "What did I miss?" His warm brown eyes moved between my mom and Parker as a smile pulled at his sexy mouth. "You gotta fill me in. I need these stories."

  "Don't you dare," I barked at Parker before sitting down next to my mom.

  "Oh come on, honey. You and Jason are moving in together. He needs to know everything about you. This is a big step. Don't be like that." My mom reached for a bowl as Jason sat down, not looking nearly as jovial as he had been before.

  "Moving in together?" Parker lifted his eyebrow at me before glancing over toward Jason.

  "It's still-" Jason started.

  "A little ways off. We're going to look at things after the Denver trip," I cut him off, trying to save face for both of us. I had no doubt that we'd be moving in together sooner than later, but I didn't need everyone involved in it.

  "Right, so tell me about the costume. Was it something Becca was wearing?" Jason glanced over at my mother, tucking away the hurt on his face quickly.

  My heart ached at the idea that he felt anything but elation around me, but my words rang true. I was risking everything. He was young. He had innumerable chances to find someone. He had time to sift though all the pretty smiles that would show up in his lifetime. I had very little time left.

  It made me overly protective. Scared.

  All the things I didn't ever want to be.

  Fucking Kade McMillian. Ruining me for all time because of him denying me his love and attention. Or maybe it had nothing to do with my old high school love and everything to do with me.

  "Can I?" My mom glanced over at me, a jovial look on her face.

  I turned my attention to Jason as my heart swelled deep in my chest. "Yeah. Tell him. We're moving in soon together. He's likely to stumble across the picture albums anyway."

  "Picture albums?" He smiled and turned to focus on my mother, but not before winking at me.

  "Let me tell it. Please, please let me tell it." Parker's excitement was contagious, and the rest of the night was far more fun than it should have been. Especially with me almost ruining it over nothing.

  Fear destroyed my twenties, and if I wasn't careful, it would do the same to my thirties.

  Chapter 8

  Jason

  One Week Later

  She'd tried a few times to talk to me about the moving in conversation I'd had with her mother, but I closed her down each time. Maybe she was right. Maybe I was forcing her to move too fast. I'd never wanted anything so damn bad in all of my life. There was some part of me that believed that I was the only one that wanted it.

  It left me weak and worried. Two things I refused to be. Losing my mother during my freshman year of college changed me. It hardened parts of me that I missed. Rebecca was the key to unlocking them again. The freedom to breathe deeply and love intensely felt like it was at my fingertips, and yet every time I brought anything up with her, she slammed the door shut. Maybe she wasn't the woman I needed in my life. I was lost to her completely, but I could get over the relationship if I was forced to.

  Maybe she did have everything to risk and I had nothing. Seemed like a fucked up thing to say, but she was protecting herself. I needed to think about protecting myself as well.

  "What are you thinking?" My sister pressed her shoulder against mine as we swung on my father's old porch swing. It was the middle of December, and especially cold for Texas.

  "I don't know. I was thinking about Mom a little bit." I glanced over at Natalie and shrugged. My sister had changed from a tomboy into a wild and unruly woman right after high school. She'd joined up with the wrong crowd, gotten married to the bad ass of our high school and was now divorced at twenty-one. No job and no hope for the future.

  "You miss her?" She leaned her head against my shoulder and let out a soft sigh.

  "Yeah. Of course I do." I pushed against the
concrete beneath us and forced the swing to move a little more. "You?"

  "Yep. It's always harder around Christmastime. Dad closes down more. Sleeps all the damn time." She glanced up at me. "You sure you're okay with me going on this trip to Denver with you and your friends? I wouldn't want my bratty-ass little sister coming along."

  "You're not bratty, and you're not me. I don't mind you coming with us. I just don't want you hooking up with Becca's friend Parker. I like the guy, but he's a player."

  "I like players." She snorted and moved off of me. "They're fun to mess with."

  "Not this guy." I ran my fingers through my hair and couldn't help but think about Rebecca for the millionth time that day. Our relationship had the potential of being amazing and yet she wasn't going to let that happen.

  "No? What's his story?" She got up and took one of Mom's blankets that laid across the back of the swing with her.

  "Not sure. Becca said he was married twice, but I've only met one wife. I think they're divorced now, or at least I sure as hell hope they are. I've seen him with a couple of different women at various events, and none of them are the wife." I shrugged. It really wasn't my business, but him messing with my sister was.

  "And what about you?" She tilted her head to the side as the door to the house opened behind her.

  "Dinner is ready. You two come on in and wash up." My father poked his head out, gave me a stern look and disappeared back into the house.

  "What about me?" I stood and lifted my hands toward the sky as my back popped.

  "How are you doing? You've been out here three times this week." She opened the door and moved back, studying me.

  "And? I can't come see my family?" I pulled at the bottom of my t-shirt, tucking it into my jeans as my father would expect before walking into the house.

  "It's not that, but usually you're busy. Something going on with you and Becca?"

  I moved past my sister, realizing that the last thing in the world I wanted to do was open the can of worms up about mine and Becca's odd relationship. Natalie wouldn't understand, and would be extra protective of me on the ski trip. I didn't need that, and Becca wouldn't understand it.