“That’s wonderful.” Yet, as happy as she was for Megan, a twinge of envy sparked inside Taryn.
“I need to tell Gramps.” Cash started toward the door. “By the way, he mentioned something about dominoes.”
“Sounds like fun.” An old ache filled her heart as he disappeared around the corner.
She grabbed the towel and dried her face. The night she went into labor, she was scared and alone. But oh, the joy of holding the life that had grown inside her for nine months. A perfect, beautiful baby boy. She smiled remembering the way he smelled, the way his tiny hand gripped her finger.
Blinking away the unbidden tears, she turned back to the dishes. That was the last time she saw her baby. And though she knew she’d done the right thing by giving him up for adoption, sometimes the incredible pain of saying goodbye crept up on her.
But no one ever knew. And until recently, she never thought anybody except Blakely would know. The way Cash looked at her, though...she wanted to tell him everything about Brian and the baby. To find comfort in his embrace. To hear him whisper that her past didn’t matter. That he loved her anyway.
She dipped her hands in the now-lukewarm water. But what if he didn’t respond that way? What if he rejected her?
She couldn’t go through that again.
Chapter Thirteen
Cash was ready to leave as soon as the Home Health worker arrived. He’d like to say it was because he was eager to get to church. Instead, it had more to do with who would be accompanying him.
He still couldn’t believe Taryn had kissed him. He hadn’t initiated it, even though he may have wanted to. No, this time it was all her idea.
His mind reeled at the memory. In a matter of seconds, she had completely flipped his mood with her honesty and playful tendencies. No one had ever had that kind of effect on him. But as he kept being reminded, she wasn’t just anyone.
Now, as he bounded down the front steps of Gramps’s house, she waited beside her Jeep.
The morning sun shone down, glistening off a fresh dusting of snow as he hurried to greet her.
“Ready?” Her smile was beyond contagious.
White puffs billowed behind the vehicle.
“I was born ready.” After opening the car door for Taryn, he took a seat on the passenger side. “So, how are you this morning?”
She shifted the Jeep into gear and started down the street. “Good. Although I think I was playing Chicken Foot in my sleep all night long.”
He laughed. “Gramps will get a kick out of that. So, does that mean we can count on you for another game of dominoes in the near future?”
She sent him a sideways glance. “Maybe.” Her grip tightened on the wheel. “Any baby news?”
“Yep, there was a text waiting for me when I woke up. I have two new nephews—Noah and Joshua. Everyone is happy and healthy, so hopefully they’ll be coming home soon.”
“Ah, named after two men who chose to follow God, despite what their peers said.”
“I hadn’t thought about it, but you’re right. That’s pretty cool. My dad named me after his favorite singer.”
“And who was that?”
He sent her a surprised look. “Johnny Cash, of course.”
She grinned. “Well, I’m glad they went with Cash then, because you definitely don’t look like a Johnny.”
When they arrived at Restoration Fellowship, Cash exited the vehicle and hurried around to help Taryn out.
“Thank you.” Her eyes shimmered like the aquamarine stone in one of his mother’s rings.
“My pleasure.” He offered his elbow and escorted her up the freshly shoveled walk and inside the brick building.
A dozen or so people mingled in the wood-paneled foyer. It was a far cry from his megachurch back home. He may have been away from church for a while, but this was going to be quite a change.
Where two or more are gathered in My name...
The words played across his heart as though God was reminding him not to judge. But not to worry. If God had a word for him today, Cash was ready to hear it.
Laying a hand against the small of Taryn’s back, he urged her across the green carpet.
“Taryn!”
She whirled around, squealing when she saw Blakely walking up behind them with her husband. “When did you get back?”
The two friends embraced.
“Last night.”
Trent continued toward Cash, grinning. “They’re like a couple of schoolgirls.”
“Yeah, they are.” He shook Trent’s hand. “How was the honeymoon?”
“Great. We couldn’t have asked for better weather.”
“Cash?” Blakely jerked her head in his direction. “You’re still here?” Her curious gaze darted between him and Taryn.
He nodded. “Long story, but yes.”
“Gran told us about your grandfather.” Blakely tucked a strawberry-blond curl behind her ear. “How is he?”
“He’s coming along. Still dealing with some pain, but he’s in good spirits.”
“Now, that’s what I like to hear,” said Trent. “Because those good spirits will go a long way toward helping him recover.”
Blakely looked up at Cash, her concern evident in her puckered brow. “Would it be all right if we paid him a visit?”
“By all means.” He stepped out of the way of a mother and father struggling to keep up with two toddlers. “Gramps would be glad to see you.”
Blakely smiled. “Good. Maybe we can come by this afternoon?” She glanced up at her husband.
“Works for me.”
Piano music drifted from the sanctuary.
“Where’s Austin?” Taryn scanned the crowded foyer.
Trent followed Taryn’s gaze. “He came early for Sunday school, but he should be out any— Ah, there he is.” He tugged Blakely’s arm. “We’d better intercept him.”
“Talk to you guys later.” Blakely waved as they pressed deeper into the foyer.
Taryn looked at Cash. “Guess we better grab a seat, too.”
“Lead the way.”
They moved through the double doors, the music and chatter growing louder, and slid into the wooden pew alongside Taryn’s parents, Phil and Bonnie.
Phil leaned across his wife and Taryn to shake Cash’s hand.
“Good morning, Cash.” Bonnie beamed.
“Mornin’.” Removing his coat, he spotted Dan Carthage, the pastor, coming up the aisle. Not only had he stopped by the hospital, he and his wife had been the first ones to show up with food when Cash and Gramps came home from the hospital Friday.
“Hey, Cash.” The brown-haired man rested a hand on his shoulder. “Good to see you again.” He nodded to Taryn and her folks before returning his attention to Cash. “Glad you could join us.”
“It’s good to be here.”
“How’s Art coming along?”
The pianist transitioned from a contemporary praise song to an old hymn.
“A little bit better every day.”
“Guess that’s all we can ask for.” Dan smiled. “And like I said Friday, don’t hesitate to call on us if you need anything.”
“I appreciate that. Thank you.”
After a quick handshake, the man moved across the aisle to greet someone else.
Taryn leaned toward Cash. “Friday?”
“He and his wife brought food.”
“Ah.”
After a few more minutes, the pastor took the stage, guitar in hand, and led the thirty or so parishioners in praise-and-worship music. No choir, no special worship leader. Yet, as Cash sang songs he’d sung countless times before, he felt more connected to God than he ever had at his big church in Dallas. There was nothing showy. Just people raising their voices to
their Creator.
He’d never felt more at home.
“Do you care more about what people think, or what God thinks?” The pastor began his sermon a short time later. “You know, sometimes doing what is pleasing to God can cost us. It can cost our pride. We might look foolish or unpopular. It can cost us time. And sometimes, doing what God wants can be plain hard.”
He paced the altar. “I was on my way to becoming an architect when, shortly after I graduated college, God moved me toward ministry.” He paused. “My dad wasn’t real thrilled with my decision. Over and over again I heard how he’d wasted money on my education, how I’d never make a good living. And I thought, ‘God, is this what You really want from me?’
“You see, I wanted God’s approval, but in order to do that, I’d have to sacrifice my father’s approval.”
Cash straightened. Pastor Dan could have been talking about his life. His dad had never been on board with his plans to live in Ouray or be a civil engineer. Said it wouldn’t afford him the kind of life Cash’s father had worked so hard to give him. What Dad didn’t realize was that Cash didn’t want that kind of life. He loved the outdoors. He wanted to be free to enjoy nature. Not stuck behind some desk.
Cash stared at the stained-glass windows, the pastor’s voice fading into the background.
No son of mine is going to be a screwup. Cash could still see the disappointment in his father’s eyes as Cash lay in that hospital bed, his leg in a brace. Later, his dad was ready to pull whatever strings it took to keep a failing Cash in school, on one condition. Cash had to switch his major to business.
His father had gotten sick right after Cash graduated. If he hadn’t had that business degree, the company might not have survived. So he made the right choice, didn’t he?
The pastor continued. “Paul told the Galatians in chapter one, verse ten, ‘If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.’ My suggestion to you is choose you this day who you will serve. Let us pray.”
God, what are You trying to tell me?
* * *
Single-digit temperatures did little to deter Taryn from ice climbing. Especially when Blakely agreed to join her. Her friend had been back in town for almost a week and this was their first opportunity to get together. Throw in the fact that Taryn had one of her best climbs on one of Ouray Ice Park’s toughest routes, and this was one stellar day.
“Your turn, Blakes.” Returning to the bottom of the natural gorge, she untied her knot and retrieved the belay device from her harness.
“Not on your life.” Bundled in her heavy coat, Blakely shook her head. “I’m the amateur, remember?”
Taryn was sweating from her climb. “I would hardly call you an amateur, but if you want to be a wienie.”
“Throw me in a bun and squirt ketchup and mustard on me then, because I am not trying that route.”
“Still not ready to try mixed climbing, huh?” She eyed the ice-and water-polished rock above them. “Fine. We can call it a day.” Taryn unhooked her length of rope and started to reel it in while Blakely packed her gear.
“Now, let me see if I’ve got this straight.” Her friend stood and slung her pack over her shoulder. “Cash rescued a family who drove off the road, so he couldn’t make his flight when they closed the pass. Then his grandfather fell, breaking his back, so Cash is staying to take care of him.”
Talking while climbing had been a challenge since they almost had to yell, but then everyone else in the park might hear them, so their conversation had been limited. Sounded like Blakely had caught the high points, though.
“That about sums it up.” As her body temperature adjusted, Taryn donned her coat.
“Man, I should leave town more often.” Blakely toed at a chunk of snow-covered ice. “And you’ve spent every evening with him?”
“I’ve been helping him and his grandfather with meals and stuff. Oh, and there’s something I haven’t told you.”
Blakely picked up the coil of rope. “What? You’re engaged?”
“Very funny.” Taryn hoisted her pack, grabbed the rope from her friend and started for the walk up. “Now you’ll have to wait until we get up top.”
Her friend groaned as she turned to follow. “You’re such a brat sometimes.”
“Yeah, but you love me anyway.” And that was true. Blakely knew everything about her. The good and the bad, and she loved her anyway. If only she could count on others to love her like that.
“I’m buying All Geared Up,” she said once they were topside and across the bridge. “Well, nothing’s for sure yet, but I turned in my loan application last week. Cash knew everything about business plans, so he put together an amazing package for me.”
Her friend grabbed her elbow, stopping her. “Wait a minute. Why are you buying All Geared Up? You’re the best mountain guide in town. Why would you give that up?”
Taryn’s excitement dissipated. “Not you, too.”
“What do you mean?”
“The few people I’ve told have all said similar things. So I have to give up being a guide. It’s not like I have to give up climbing.” She started walking again. “I thought you, at least, would be on my side.”
Blakely jogged to catch up, her breath white puffs in the frigid air. “I am on your side. I guess I’m just a little surprised, that’s all. What made you decide to do this?”
Taryn opened the back door of her Jeep and tossed in her gear. “Because I need something that’s mine. I’m twenty-seven years old and I still live with my parents.”
Blakely tossed her pack in, too. “I’m about to turn thirty and I just left my grandparents, so don’t try that with me.”
“Yeah, but that’s different. You have Austin.” Closing the door, she leaned against the Jeep and watched the vehicles coming off the mountain, winding their way down the Million Dollar Highway. “I have no one. So I need to build a life for myself. A future. Besides, who knows more about what gear climbers need than I do?”
“Well, I’ll give you that one.” Blakely shivered. “Can we get in the car? It’s cold out here.”
They got into the Jeep, and Taryn started the engine, waiting for the heater to kick in as Blakely pulled a thermos from the floorboard.
“Hot chocolate?”
For the moment, it was colder inside the Jeep than out. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Blakely filled a cup and handed it to Taryn. “Have you thought this all the way through? Running a business is tough. You remember all the struggles I had last summer. I had no idea the amount of stuff Granddad had on his plate.”
Taryn held the cardboard cup with both hands, allowing the warmth to thaw her now-frozen fingers. “I already do most of the ordering and stocking.”
“Okay, but what about managing? Hiring, firing and scheduling employees? Payroll?”
“I’m sure I can learn.”
Her friend took a sip and stared out the window. “I’m sure you can, too. You’re relatively smart.”
“Hey, what do you mean ʽrelativelyʼ?”
Blakely broke into a grin. “Gotcha.” She took another sip. “Seriously, if this is what you’re passionate about, I think you could do a fabulous job.”
“Thanks.”
“Now, about Cash.” Blakely twisted to face her.
“What about him?”
“What’s going on between you two?”
“Nothing. We’re just friends.”
“I doubt that.”
She sure wished that heat would kick in. “What do you mean?”
“Cash is totally into you, Taryn.”
“No, he’s—”
“And, dare I say, you’re pretty into him, too.”
Taryn’s default was to reject the notion. But Blakely knew her too
well. And right now, Taryn could use a friend to help her sort out her conflicting emotions.
“Well, I can’t speak for Cash, but yeah, I really like him.” There—it was out. She’d finally admitted—out loud—how she felt.
“Sweetie, you don’t need to speak for Cash. It’s written all over his face whenever he looks at you.”
“But he doesn’t know me.”
“You mean, your history?”
She nodded, the steam from her drink warming her face.
“He seems like a decent guy. I’m sure he’ll understand.”
The blower finally kicked on.
“Understand that I let myself fall for someone who was just using me?” She shook her head. “I’m such an idiot. Why would someone like Cash even bother with me?”
Blakely’s gaze narrowed, her lips pursed. “Taryn Purcell, you stop that right now. I don’t know what kind of lies Brian filled your head with, but you are not an idiot. Yes, you were young and naive, but you’ve grown into an incredible woman. Any man who doesn’t see that isn’t worthy of you anyway.”
Something between a sob and laughter bubbled out of her. “Okay, Mom.”
Laughing, Blakely swatted her leg. “When you stop acting like a child, I’ll stop acting like your mother.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t think my mother would be quite so understanding.”
Growing serious, her friend took hold of her hand. “You say that, but I’ve never felt like your mother looked down on me for having Austin. Maybe she’s mellowed.”
“Maybe. But then, you’re not her daughter.” She turned slightly to face her friend. “I just remember when I was about nine, the Barkers’ daughter got pregnant. Mom and I were in one of the stores and overheard people talking about it. Mom was furious. When we left, she grabbed hold of my arm and said, ‘Let’s get one thing straight right now, young lady. No daughter of mine will ever have a child out of wedlock. I will not have people talking about my family. If you ever do that to me, I’ll disown you.’”
Blakely’s grip tightened. “Taryn, we’ve all made mistakes. I mean, just look at me and Trent.” She continued to watch her. “You know, I remember a certain someone chastising me for not letting go and letting God. Sounds like you need to do a little letting go yourself.”
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